Jun 12
#/vent#i hate this#i hate this i hate that im still ill#i hate that itll be a decade in four years with this fuckingg#this curse#is what i want to call it#but i cant allow myself to see it this way#the reason i fell ill to begin with was due to a decade+ of trauma that i only just recently started to grow out of#i have to keep holding on#as long as i still breathe i have to keep holding on#i have to#i can forge my own chances for the future#there is still hope for me#damnit#i dont want to give in to the suicidality this reality inflicts on me#you hear me ronks#you dont want to be fucking dead#you want to be ALRIGHT#and it does it feels like hell right now#im burning and i cant get out of bed without being in pain but im#im insisting#im weak and i insist#im weak and im hopeful still#i want to cry out and break and howl until my lungs run sore but im here im still on the soft grass#i want to stayy#until i can be better again#until life feels alive again#and i can be with everyoe without this mess dictating my life
