#im allowed

okay I don't *hate* him

but I have some beef with him

he pressures Maomao and enters her personal space over and over again

she's obviously not interested

and he often makes her uncomfortable

in the light novels, there was That Scene (idr the # rn) and in English it was AWFUL.

reading translations of other languages on reddit it was... less awful.

but.

it still felt very pressurey?

like, yes, they're young. probably haven't had high quality sex education in terms of consent.

yes, Maomao has a lot of attachment trauma. she's probably avoidant.

yes, there's empowerment in some ways for the courtesans (who raised her) but in some ways they're trapped in their role. much like the higher concubines, honestly. the relationships she's seen modeled trap women. or hurt them. they are *used* more than genuinely cared for. that could fuck up your view of relationships and make anyone want to just be like nope no thanks as a rule.

even maomao is both empowered and trapped in her roles. and jinshi tries to empower her, but she's also trapped in some ways. he has power over her. she can't really say no.

in the light novels she also doesn't see herself as empowered. she still sees herself as a commoner essentially, not the daughter of the head of the La clan.

yes, Jinshi is in an environment where women are political pieces + purchased objects. and I guess in some ways he's doing better than other men.

yes, he has the trauma of getting everything he ever loved taken away from him, family shit, etc etc., and he's even more obsessive because of it.

but that still doesn't entitle him to her.

is he better than he could be? okay yeah he could be awful. like super awful. but he could also be better.

and idk. I also really love Shisui. because I'm also gay af. but.

I'm okay with Jinshi and Maomao being together if he is KIND and PATIENT and makes sure she actually wants that too.

in the light novel, he wants her to want it. and he wants her to realize her power.

but the way he goes about dealing with his frustrations? pretty fucked up.

okay at best he was pretty sure she wanted it.

and idk. im still having a hard time getting the English translation out of my head.

but also like. it wasn't even just that scene. wtf was that cave scene also. wtf were all the other scenes of him invading her personal space. idk. TAKE CARE OF HER YOU STUPID ASSHOLE if they're going to be together I need him to take care of her. and for her to want it. at least in some way. she doesn't have to not be aroace coded, or become like someone chasing after him and suddenly being boy obsessed and desperate or extremely over the top enthusiastic. but she has to want it. in her own way.

lmk if the light novels get better pls

The fact this is my first fanart after MONTHS of not drawing stick figures man……..

New chapter from Dr. Jones' pov. I've been slightly busy recently with some personal stuff so I haven't been writing that much.

Anyway, I made a quick sketch of what Dr. Jones looks like in this story. I need to draw more characters w glasses ngl