#ilustrans

i often spend late nights 

crying in bed about how

you’re not next to me and how humanity is cruel.

And the tears that prick 

my eyes like needles

feel like scorching flames as they 

slide down my face.

And through this, the fire

in my eyes is gone.

And every breath I take—

thinking about you,

or the girl I used to love a thousand miles away,

or humanity and all it’s bits and pieces—

feels like smoke, running down my lungs.

i know my insides

are soot covered and shadowy, 

like the bleakness the angels see

when they peers down at 

humanity from their pristine heaven.

And then the tears that have 

spilled and dripped and dropped 

down my cheeks— 

they leak through the cracks in my heart,

and they melt away at whatever remains in there.

i wake up the next morning from crying

And my heart is turned to dust—

                     Falling star thy chariot is discord-

                              strung upon orcas

                            & stolen blue flowers-

To dream about us