#ilom

Ch. 4

You stare out the window, chin in one hand while you tap your knees with the other hand. Someone else’s fingertips tap his armrest obnoxiously, and you just know his leg is bouncing up and down even though it’s out of your line of sight. Sighing with mild irritation, you tear yourself away from the view of clouds and blue sky to pin Kilgrave with a glare.

He glances at you, then stops. “I can’t help it.”

“You never said you had a fear of flying.” You slump in your seat, wishing you had sprung at the chance for a first class seat instead of having to deal with a crying kid nearby. Someone also keeps kicking your seat every now and then.

“It’s not flying, I’m perfectly fine with flying. I’m not fine with going back to the source of my miserable life.”

After obtaining Kilgrave, you’ve wasted no time in making arrangements to fly to dreaded lab. He’s whined a lot about it, but by this point, it’s nothing new. Merely annoying.

You raise an eyebrow, leaning your head on the seat to watch him curiously. “You think I’m fine with it?”

“You’re the one desperate to go back. I don’t even know what you expect to find.”

“Answers. Something.” You lean forward and grab a plane brochure, glancing over the emergency instructions out of boredom before putting it back. “Someone has to still be there.”

“And then what? Beg them to take your powers away?” He tries to flag down a flight attendant for drinks, but no one comes.

“Something like that. Look, I know you think I want to kill myself, but that isn’t the case.”

“Could have fooled me,” he mumbles lowly, glaring at the seat in front of him when his own is kicked. With a muted growl, he spins around, pinning the offender with a cold stare. “Stop. Kicking. Me.” It turns out to be a kid, and you’d feel bad if you hadn’t been kicked at either.

“Stop that, you’re going to scar them for life,” you hiss, pulling at his sleeve back to his seat. Begrudgingly, he has to obey and turns around with a thump onto the seat. He folds his arms petulantly. 

“You know, I’ll be glad if you get rid of your powers, it’s annoying as bloody hell having to obey your every words.”

“Imagine what your victims went through.”

“No,” he points a finger at you, leaning in, “no. They were not victims. Do not- damn-”

---

Damn her. Damn her words. Flashes of different girls run through his mind, each other with a look more dead than the last as they go through motions with him. He remembers enjoying himself with them, but he is so sure they enjoyed themselves as well. They had to. Surely. Didn’t they?

He squeezes his eyes shut when he can see one of the girls crying, right before he tells her not to do that.

Damn this girl. Damn ____.

“I guess you can stop,” she finally says, and Kilgrave’s mind clears up. He’s panting from the effort of keeping the memories away despite failing to do so. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Shut up,” Kilgrave spits even though his command has no effect. He shoots daggers at her, but she isn’t affected. Instead, she’s back to staring out the window. It’s like she’s bored by this whole ordeal.

The plane shakes briefly with turbulence, causing some murmurs of concerns to rise from other passengers. It passes quickly, and the regular cacophony resumes within minutes. Kilgrave is still studying ____.

The light from the window causes a silhouette of her form. 

“You know something?” he eventually says, but she doesn’t turn back to him. He continues anyways. “I can’t age anymore.” This gets her attention, and she slowly looks back at him. “It took a while to notice, but I’ve stopped aging. No gray hairs, no wrinkles- well- not more wrinkles. Crow’s feet, but that’s it. It’s like aging just ceases after a certain period of time. Whether my parents meant for that to happen, I don’t know.”

---

“You as well, then,” you answer softly. Another thing in common, it appears. You knew he was studying you minutes before, but he hasn’t stopped. Under his gaze, you feel yourself flush and look at your lap instead. “I think I stopped around 20 or so. It just feels different.”

“It does,” he agrees, leaning his arm on the armrest. Against your better judgments, you read his thoughts again and shy away, wishing you hadn’t chosen the window seat. He certainly isn’t one to hold back his thoughts. It’s almost flattering, but you want him to stop thinking altogether.

You’re about to say something when you inadvertently catch someone else’s thoughts. Your head snaps up, scanning the cabin for the source of the thoughts.

 “Any second now. Any second. Just have to move. Move. It’s just a plane. Move!”

“What’s wrong?” Kilgrave asks, his brows furrowing and following your frantic glance. “What are you looking for?”

You shush him sharply and listen. Everyone looks normal, but you stand up to get a better view.

“Come on, you have to. They’re no better than you. Move!”

A man stands near the restroom, his hands shaking and a pale face evident. Him. You shove Kilgrave back into his seat and nearly climb over him to go after the man. Kilgrave sputters and gets up after you, trailing after as close as he can.

“What are you doing?” he calls after you, but you ignore him. You lock eyes with the nervous man in front of the restroom. In his state, he stops even without you saying anything, like he’s willing for someone to stop him from what he’s about to do, whatever it may be.

When you’re close enough to talk to him without drawing attention, you stop, and Kilgrave bumps into your back. You stumble, cast him a glare, and turn back to the man.

“You shouldn’t do it,” you say, raising a hand up like you’re trying to keep a wild animal at bay.

“Do what?” Kilgrave asks.

“Shut up.” You know he’s making a face behind your back, but that doesn’t matter. Your attention back on the man, you tell him not to move. “You were going to try something, weren’t you? Take down the plane or something?”

Kilgrave’s hand is on your shoulder, but you shrug him off. The nervous man just works up a nod.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” he answers, wringing his hands together. “So I’m going out this way.”

“By taking others with you?” you whisper, drawing him away to set him in a seat. “Why would you do that?” He shrugs, albeit helplessly. You puff your cheeks. “You’re not going to do that. In fact, you’re going to turn yourself in to one of the attendants and get some help. Honestly, I don’t care if you kill yourself, but bringing others into your plight of pity is pathetic. Don’t try to talk to me, just move.”

He gets up, meekly moving past you and Kilgrave. You get a whiff of body odor and scrunch up your nose. Kilgrave is literally bouncing on his heels next to you, impatient for you to allow him to speak again. You pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Fine, you can talk.”

“How did you know what he was going to do?” he blurts out, watching the man shuffle up the aisle to one of the flight attendants. Worry flashes across her face, and she ushers him away from the passengers, presumably to where there would be some type of security to hold him. 

A weary look is what you give instead of an answer. “You don’t need to know. In fact, let’s just do what we should have done in the beginning when we got on the plane.”

“What?”

“Get into first-flight.” You brush past him, grabbing his wrist on the way and leading him towards the front of the plane.

“You literally pulled a hero move,” Kilgrave marvels behind you, “and you’re keeping it quiet? You saved the plane. Don’t you want a celebration?”

There are a couple of empty seats next to each other in first class, and this time you push Kilgrave into the one closest to the window. He pulls a face, dusts himself off, and makes himself comfortable in his seat. Even though flight attendants watched you two move in, they don’t make any attempt to remove you as it’s not uncommon to transfer seats mid-flight if there are empty ones up front.

“I’d like to keep things like that quiet,” you explain, flagging one of the flight attendants over. “If attention is not drawn to me, I like to keep it that way. You, on the other hand...”

He looks like as though he’s pondering your statement, and then nods like he agrees. “I can’t help it. Being the center of attention is all I know.”

You snort. “Yeah, I can see that. I need a drink after this.”

“What, another one of your carbonated drinks?”

“A real one,” you reiterate, ordering a stronger drink when the attendant comes over, and Kilgrave asks for one as well before moving to recline in his seat with a satisfied sigh.

Ch. 3

There was a time where you met Kevin once or twice before. He’s never bothered to stay and socialize with the others like you. It was all about him- him, him, him. Him and his stupid parents. You’ve tried to be nice with him, but he never acknowledged your presence.

You’ve wondered if maybe he’s ever seen you before through the glass windows separating your rooms during experiments. You’ve wondered if he knew others could hear his screams from far down the lonely halls of dim lights and oblivious-on-purpose adults. You’ve wondered if he knew others were suffering just the same as him, if he knew you and others even existed and were by his side.

You’ve wondered why he never bothered to free anyone else after his incident of commanding away his parents and walking out.

In your seat in your hotel room, you twirl a black flashdrive in your hand, flipping it back and forth between fingers while Kilgrave is pacing the room. You’ve forced him along with you to insure he wouldn’t try anything stupid like running away. 

He can feel your eyes on him, so he stops in his tracks to pin you with a glare. “What?” he asks sharply.

You throw the flashdrive at him. Not expecting it, he fumbles the thing, accidentally knocking it back up into the air several times before securing it to his chest.

“What the hell?”

“You’ve got one like it, don’t you?”

Your question makes him narrow his eyes and look at the flashdrive. “What if I do?”

“Where?”

“Why do you need to know?”

You grab the arms of your chair and stand up with a light stretch. “Different tests on different people. All those tests you had done? I had worse since you left.”

He fixes his shirt, a nervous habit of his. “So what?”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “So I think the key in getting rid of these stupid abilities lies in the flashdrives. You watch mine, I’ll watch yours. I don’t know. It’s something to start with.”

He lowers the hand with the flashdrive and looks at you incredulously. “Why do you even want to get rid of them?”

---

Poor girl, he muses. She looks so haunted. After spending even a little more time with her, he can see the dark circles under her eyes and sense the tired aura that hangs around her. She really wants nothing to do with their shared abilities.

Her eyes are on him wearily. “I’m just done with them. Despite their benefits, I don’t want them anymore. It’s not natural. I can’t even d-”

“Yes, I know you can’t die. What a tragedy,” Kilgrave finishes dryly, recalling the last time his neck got snapped by the only woman he thought he loved. He thought wrong. He rubs his neck.

She raises an eyebrow. “You’ve only been out once. You’ve never actually tried.”

This gets his attention. How does she even know about that? Kilgrave moves to sit on the nearby bed and crosses his legs at the ankles. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

“Testing my limits,” she replies. The way she averts her gaze this time is unsettling. “Found out I can’t fly that way.”

“So,” he draws out slowly, examining the flashdrive in his hand, “if we do figure out how to get rid of your powers, does that mean you’ll off yourself later?”

Her face pinches. “No.”

Liar, he thinks.

“I’m not a liar.”

“I didn’t say it,” he protests. 

---

It’s already unnerving to hear his thoughts on your appearance. Inappropriate ones. No wonder he’s unpopular with your sex.

You gesture at the flashdrive impatiently. “Just watch that. Tell me where yours is.”

“I smashed it,” he answers. Even answering on command, he shrugs unbothered. 

“What?”  Your face reddens suddenly and your body tenses before giving way to disbelief with shaking of the head. “You stupid idiot.”

“Well, now, let’s not resort to names,” he interjects smugly.

“Shut up.” You catch the thoughts of him not minding so much about being bossed around. It’s actually kind of- “Shut up!” You point at him. “Stop thinking!” Even without words, his bewildered face betrays his thoughts. You put a hand on your head and head for the door. “Okay, don’t stop thinking. Just shut up, and watch what’s on that flashdrive on the laptop over there. Don’t even think about leaving.”

Knowing he can’t even reply, you shut the door with a shaky hand. It’d make sense to watch with him and hear what he would have to say on certain procedures, but you just can’t bring yourself to go through it at the moment.

And what’s worse, since you can hear what he thinks of you, you don’t feel as though you could handle being in close proximity to him. Especially with what he was thinking when you left.

Ch. 2

With one hand in his pocket, Kilgrave tugs on his ear, eyes skimming her from top to bottom in attempt to pull an image of her to the front of his mind. After a minute, he stifles a sigh and lets the hand fall.

“I don’t remember you, sorry. Should I?”

She scoffs, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall of the alley. People pass them unnoticed on the sidewalk. “Yeah, you should remember me. Though, I shouldn’t expect Patient Zero to remember anyone but himself and his parents.”

“Patient Zero?” He furrows his brows, looking affronted. “That’s for-”

“Sick people,” she draws out slowly with a nod. “You technically were sick, and if it hadn’t been for you, you parents wouldn’t have dragged children like me into your mess.” 

When she emphasizes the word, Kilgrave feels offended and take a step towards her with an index finger raised.

“Look; it wasn’t my fault they didn’t to stick pins and needles in me. I tried to get them to stop- I did.”

Her eyes were lowered, but she raises them to meet his. They pierce into his coldly, causing a shiver to crawl up his spine. To hide the reaction, he stands straighter when she says, “You stopped them too late.”

“Fine, you go back and figure that out. Let me know how it goes.” Deciding he’s had enough, Kilgrave spins on a heel. Before he can take a step, the girl tells him to stop with one word. He grits his teeth, hating the sudden loss of control. Different eyes from different girls flash in his mind- all with accusatory looks. 

Rightfully so.

He bites on his bottom lip when the girl comes up from behind him to stand in front of him.

“Look, what do you want from me?” Kilgrave sighs, raising his his hands up front of him. “I’m sorry you went through that. Do what I did and get revenge. Surprisingly easy to do when you have a grudge against those who hurt you.”

“That’s not what I want,” she answers, raising an eyebrow.

“What then?” He asks, exasperated.

---

You scan him dubiously. He’s clearly frustrated by you accosting him, but you’re still trying to figure out what to do with him. He’d probably be useful for getting rid of these powers you have, but if he were, wouldn’t he have been able to get rid of his own?

Unless he doesn’t want to. Going by his past and the trail he’s left behind, you’re willing to bet that he actually enjoys exercising the control.

Just not losing his control, judging by the tic on his face.

You take a step back and breathe deeply.

“I can’t die,” you say, watching him for a reaction.

A raised eyebrow. “Neither can I.”

“Another thing in common,” you state simply. “But you want to stay alive.”

A beat passes before he answers. “Don’t you?”

“Not in this hell.”

You turn your face towards the crowd outside the alley. 

When you were younger, just years younger than Kilgrave, your parents brought you to the lab for testing on those sick like Kevin. At first, it was just supposed to be blood tests. Simple blood drawing and you were done for the day. But those days drew on, and you were finding yourself spending more and more time at that lab without ever knowing the reason why.

The only thing you knew were the screams and cries of the boy next door.

“...into the sin bin.”

 You’d only catch bits and pieces of conversations. Most of it was drowned out by him.  And it scared you. You’d cling onto your parents at the end of the day and ask what was happening to him. They would answer that he was going to save the world.

And you believed them.

Until it was your turn to get the same treatment as him.

Subconsciously, you let your hand rest on the back of your neck even though there were no signs of needle pricks there. Sometimes you’d swear you could feel them.

“Hello?” A hand waves in front of your face, and you blink back to reality.

You glance back at him, but then all you can see is the little boy screaming at his parents to get away from him. And in awe, you watch them obey.

---

She’s clearly haunted by something, Kilgrave can tell that much. When her hand falls limp, it curls up into a fist and shakes.

“Hello?” Prompts Kilgrave again.

“What?” she snarls, fighting to put back the facade on her face.

“You- erm- you drifted away. Alright there?”

She side-eyes him and flips her hair. “I’m fine. You’re going to help me get back to that lab.”

His eyes glaze for a moment, repeating the phrase back to her before sparking back to life. “Like bloody hell I will!”

Then she grabs the front of his shirt and draws him close. “You’re going to help me, or I’ll grab your balls and force them down your throat.”

He shoves her away and brushes down his shirt with a sneer. “Don’t be such a git.”

“You’re helping,” she insists.

“Fine,” he spits, feeling the grotesque pull. It feels worse the more he resists, but giving in would make him feel lifeless. Shit, is this how the others felt? “What do I get in return?”

“Who says you get anything?”

“You get something out of this. If I have to go back to that hellhole, I want something.”

“Like what?”

He stops, running his tongue over the front of his teeth before frowning. “I’ll have to let you know- an IOU, let’s say.”

She thinks for a moment. Kilgrave takes that opportunity to look her over- short in stature with long hair. Her eyelashes could go on for miles, and her eyes were striking. In all honesty, if she hadn’t been such a bitch towards him, he would even consider her. Dress her up and take her out, even just to get a taste of who she might be if she weren’t bitchy.

“Deal,” she says at least, extending a hand out and surprising him.

He stares down at the offered hand, and then he takes it with a firm hold. Grabbing her, he pulls her in and says lowly, “Don’t make me regret this.”