#ilandbighit

“It's just my hair y/n" Jay told you for the fifth time but you still complained. “Why didn't you tell me you got blonde hair?" you whined, pouting like a little child. Your boyfriend ruffled your hair, his eyes looked at you like you meant the world to him but apparently that wasn't the answer to your question.

“Tell meeeeeeee" you cutely whined again, waiting for a proper response this time but he just smirks. “Fine then" you humph earning a laugh from the tall boy. “I didn't knew you'd act like this y/n, stop being so cute or else imma dial 911 because being this cute is illegal" he back hugged you. Trying your best to hide your pink tinted cheeks and the smile forming on your face you said “Well, not telling your girlfriend you got blonde hair is also illegal Mr.Jongseong"

“I'm sorry okay" Jay huffed, placing you in his lap. His eyes locked with yours, “How can I make it up to you?" Jay smiled. You instantly returned the smile and asked for a kiss. “That's it?" He rolled his eyes at your cheesy request. He took your hand and kissed it, you already knew where this was going once you felt him smirk. Of course he won't just give it to you, he has to tease you, he's Park Jongseong.

“i fall for the worst ones”, jay put his head down on the table and sighs dramatically.

“that’s because you’re looking at the wrong pond”, you say as he lifts his head to look at you.

“where should i be looking then?”, he asks.

“you’re looking at the right one right now”, sunoo answered bluntly as he took a sip of your boba.

you kicked his legs underneath the table. “what he’s trying to say here is that”, you paused. i’ve been here this whole time while you were looking for someone to be inlove with desperately. “you need to stop looking for someone and focus on copying the homework.”

“you’re right. but that did not help me at all.” he started writing down the answers for the homework.

“the thing about you is that, you fall for someone so easily jay...”, he stopped writing and took a deep breath.

“what am i supposed to do then?”, he asked genuinely.

“i honestly don’t know”

“Hoonie could you please pay attention to me" you pout, your best friend's eyes not leaving the screen of his phone in front of him. “Jake to the left!" Sunghoon ordered his friend to shoot the other player, you sighed.

He really prefers the game over his oldest childhood friend, doesn't he? Tch

“Sungho-" “Dang it! Ugh, Jake you didn't cover me. We've lost another game because of you y/n! why in the world can't you just let me play peacefully?" Sunghoon snapped, you were a little pissed at his words.

With a frown forming on your features, you snap back at him. “Well, if you're going to invite me to your house and literally don't pay attention to me then what the hell am I supposed to do?" He rolls his eyes at your childish behavior, as much as you wanted to let your anger out, you couldn't because he was your childhood friend.

Who became a handsome man and also later on became your crush, you hated it. Hated that you had a crush on him but your feelings always got the best of you.

Sighing loudly, you got up and left the room to go the roof, to calm yourself a little. Little did you know that Jake was listening to the both of you bicker, Sunghoon forgot to close the mic option.

“Tch, Come on Jake let's play another gam-" “Sunghoon no, you need to apologize to her" Sunghoon frowned at Jake's words, “Well, she needs to stop being so childish all the time" “I won't play until you go and say sorry for your rude behavior" Jake firmly said, his friend groaned in response to his statement. “Okay fine" Sunghoon's voice had a hint of annoyance in it. “I'll wait then" Sunghoon could practically hear him smile, closing the door behind him, he went to see you.

Sunghoon won't admit it but he lowkey felt guilty for his attitude towards you, why? Well, he doesn't know either.

Does he like you? Or you're just a friend?

“Fuck you Y/n, I hate all these feelings that I have for you! Why do you always have to be such an angel ugh" Sunghoon muttered, a light pink blush could be seen on his cheeks.

“Gosh the sky is so pretty" you compliment the view in front of you, the light pink sky with the evening clouds made it look like something from heaven. You liked to call this sky a strawberry sky. This rooftop had a special place in your heart. You'd always come here to calm yourself or just relax and take your mind off of life problems.

I guess he's right, I should stop being so childish. I should apologize to him I guess

I should also stop my feelings for him, if I don't then I'll for sure break my heart again

But I can't, its not easy because he's so damn perfect! Ugh frick you Park Sunghoon, why are you doing this to me?

Tears started to form in your eyes because of all the drama that was happening in your mind, just then Sunghoon opened the door.

“Y/n I'm-" Sunghoon stopped in his tracks seeing you gently sob, his heart felt like someone just twisted it. He felt super guilty for his actions but the thing was he didn't knew you were crying over him completely ruining your life in “that" way.

“I'm so sorry y/n" Sunghoon apologized, pulling you into his warm embrace. After a couple of minutes if him comforting you, he spoke. “Y/n I know I'm a terrible friend but-" he paused looking at you with heart eyes making your cheeks almost the same as the color of the pink tinted sky. “I li-like you" he stuttered, your eyes widened at his confession. “But Sunghoon I don't like you" you looked down, hiding your playful smirk. The boy sighed, “I know I'm a jerk, you don't have to feel the same wa-"

“I don't like you because I LOVE YOU IDIOT!"

“ohhhhh- was that really necessary?" he teased, you laughed a little. “So will you be mine?" Sunghoon asked, you were more than flustered at this point. You nodded shyly, earning a shy laugh from him.

“Y/n" Sunoo whined, walking closer to you. You have been really busy these days because of your homework and other school stuff. Sunoo just wants your attention and affection but it's hard for you for the past three days. “Sunoo I'm sorry but I-" before you could finish your sentence your boyfriend picked you up. “SUNOO PUT ME DOWN!" you were a little scared that he'll drop you on the floor.

The boy just chuckled at your sentence and proceeded to carry you to the living room. “Sunoo but I have so much work left to-" “No stop overworking yourself!" he pouted making you smile a little.

“Aish fine! You win" you give up completely as your boyfriend wrapped his arms around you. His warmth felt like home, it felt really comfortable. You snuggled yourself in his chest making him giggle. “Someone's enjoying their time hehe" he teased.

You didn't even realize it's already been an hour since you both have been cuddling and exchanging affection. “Sunoo love it's been- oh" your voice changed into a gentle whisper the second you saw the love of your life sleeping peacefully on your lap.

Warnings : Commit ting suicide, blood, Angst. Long AF

“Y/n! Open up the door!" your best friend, Nicholas shouted, trying his best to get inside the room and comfort you.

Gaining feelings for your stepbrother isn't a nice thing but apparently you were falling harder everyday for Jake.

“Y/n, it's fine. Please open up the door, let's talk this out" Nicholas suggested, a sigh escaped your lips as you got up with teary eyes and opened the door.

Nicholas quickly engulfed you into a hug, but your tears weren't stopping at all. “Y/n, listen to me" “I want to be alone Yixiang"

He knew that you were dead serious because you used his real name, he looked at you with sad eyes and let go of you. He knew this wasn't the right thing since you could straight up hurt yourself or even commit suicide like you told him one day. You didn't even look back and left, but your heart was shattering into pieces inside.

“Y/n don't leave me like this, I love you" Nicholas whispered, his voice cracked at the end as tears of losing you escaped his eyes. Holding the friendship bracelet you both made for each other close to his chest, he sighed.

You inhale the fresh air, walking to your local park which was always always empty to take a break from all the tragic stuff happening in your life. “Y/n?" a voice said from behind you.

It was Jake, your stepbrother.

“Oh hi-" “Did you cry earlier?" Jake immediately got worried as he saw your red puffy eyes, you would usually smile at his words but instead a sad frown took over you features. With a confused face, he asked “What's wrong?" You held your tears in. “You" you choked on your words a little bit.

“Me? Did I do something wrong y/n?" Jake said, holding your hands.

Everything Jake, everything

You quickly took your hands out of his warm ones and walked past him, leaving him completely confused by your sudden change of behavior.

It was almost midnight, you were still not home. “Mom, have you seen y/n?" Jake asked, getting the feeling of something is wrong. “I've been looking for her everywhere now! She's not even picking up her phone!" Ms.Shim replied with teary eyes. “I'll go find her!" Jake said, not listening to any of his parents telling him to stop because it's dangerous.

Jake quickly took out his motorcycle and started to drive. As he was clueless, he saw Nicholas running too, “Have you seen y/n" “No, I think I know where she is" Nicholas said with sad eyes, Jake's eyes widened. Nicholas quickly sat on the bike as Jake drove as fast as he could, tears threatening to fall.

“Why?" you asked yourself, playing with the hem of your shirt. “Why did I fall for my stepbrother?" you said, looking up into the night sky from the small bridge you were standing on. “Why can't I just live a normal life like everyone else?" you looked at your right, as if you were talking to someone. Wiping your tears with your sweater paws made you realize how many times you've committed self harm. You traced the cuts with your finger, all the tragic memories flashing back to your mind.

“Y/n, your brother finally has a girlfriend right? Or is it just a rumor?" Yuna asked, not knowing the feelings that you had for your own brother. But your fake smile made her feel guilty inside.

“Mom, can you have feelings for your stepbrother? Just asking" your 12 year old self questioned, innocently. Ms.Shim nodded a no which didn't look like it effected you as you continue to do your homework but it made you suffer from anxiety for a year.

“Just face reality y/n, it'll hurt but you'll find someone who loves you. You can't like your own brother, I'm sorry" Heeseung patted your head as you cried into his warm and comfortable embrace.

You felt helpless, you felt like you weren't meant to exist. Your legs becoming weak, you hold onto the bridge for support.

Today is the say it'll all end you thought looking at the deep water below the bridge and the sharp knife in your hand, you didn't want to do suicide, but this was the only way your life would be peaceful.

“I'll finally escape the fatal reality of falling in love with my brother, finally" your voice cracked at the end, looking at the beautiful sky one last time with a sad smile you did something which would hurt everyone who loved you, it'll hurt you too but you couldn't turn back time, and even if you could you wouldn't.

“Y/N!" Jake and Nicholas cried, shouted but they were late, too late. You already left this world, tears never stopped falling from both of their eyes. “Y/n, I- I loved you so m-much" Nicholas stuttered holding on to the bridge that still had a little bit of your blood on it. Jake picked up a sticky note that you wrote on before you committed suicide.

He read it and understood everything, he felt guilty as if he ruined your entire life but you still smiled through all the pain. He knew it was wrong to catch feelings for your own stepbrother but he never thought you'd do this to him and yourself. Nicholas took the note from him, the note said that :

“I can't love you, Jake. So what's the point of this life then?"

────────────────────────────

This is based on real life events, my really great friend fell for her stepsister and committed suicide. Me and her couldn't make it, it was too late.

Warnings : LONG AF, slight cursing

You and your best friend, Sunoo were at a café to relax for a little bit since exams were coming closer and closer.

"So how's life going, living with Jungwon?" you asked Sunoo as you stuffed your mouth with your coffee cheesecake. "hmmm good, I guess" he replied before smiling and taking a sip of his drink. "So I heard you like Jungwon" Sunoo started, you almost spat your drink out by his sudden sentence. "No I-" "Please, it's okay if you like him. Why are you always denying it? Like l won't tell it to anyone" Sunoo reassured, you sighed in relief. He just laughed at your burning cheeks. "I'll get going now, it's getting late" you said, packing your stuff in your bag. "You should go to get your beauty sleep, I mean no one wants to look bad in front of their crush" he stated like its nothing. "KIM SUNOO" you hit him playfully, after bidding goodbyes to each other you left the café to head to your house.

After some minutes of walking, you finally reached home. "I'm back!" you yelled as you opened the door to your house. "Do you know what time is it?" your brother, Heesung asked sarcastically. "Ummm it's 10 am, don't you have eyes to see the time? I have to sleep now bye" you quickly went to your room before Heesung could nag at you. You quickly brushed your teeth, changed into your pajamas and plopped yourself on your bed.

"What now?!?" you groaned as you heard a notification on your phone. You grabbed your phone angrily and looked at the notification, it was Wonyoung your friend.

You put your phone down and sighed. "What if it's you?" Wonyoung's words kept repeating in your mind but you knew deep inside that it's not true.

“WAKE UP Y/N! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL" Heesung shouted for the tenth time. You were annoyed by his words but you had no other option so you got up. “Finally! I thought you'd never get up” he scoffed, earning a glare from her younger sibling. He left once you went to the bathroom, you quickly took a shower and changed.

You quickly ate your pancakes and left the house with Heesung.

“Hi y/n" a voice greeted you, it was Jungwon. “Hi Jungwon" you reply, earning a cute smile from him.

YANG JUNGWON IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DIE THEN STOP BEING SO CUTE! your mind freaked out as always. “Can I talk to Heesung hyung for a moment?" Jungwon asked. Of course he's here for Heesung, what were you thinking y/n? You pffft never you thought. “Sure, Y/n you go I'll meet you at school okay?" Heesung said, you just nodded. As they both left you just sadly walked to your school.

“Hey y/n! Wait where's Heesung hyung?" Niki shouted, walking towards you. “Are you here for Heesung too?" you rolled your eyes, annoyed. “Whaaa- no! I'm just asking idiot!" Niki said earning a playful hit from you.

I wonder what they would be doing you were curious but tried to leave it aside for awhile. “Girl where were you?" Wonyoung asked she saw you, lost in your thoughts.

“What do you mean? I was right here!" you complained as Wonyoung laughed. “Are you coming or skipping class?" she dramatically gasped, you rolled your eyes playfully. “I'm waiting for Ju- I mean Heesung" you stuttered. Ah shit! Here we go again you ran away to class before Wonyoung could tease you.

But you obviously had to bump into someone. “I'm so sorry, wait Y/n?"

It was Jungwon! Why him! Great another embarrassing moment!

"Im the one who's supposed to be sorry" you apologized. He offered his hand for you to get up, which obviously you took gladly but you're heart was beating faster than a sports car.

"Class is about to start, I'll see you around y/n" the boy said, smiling. You nodded and you both left for your classes. As you entered in your class you saw Wonyoung looking at you with a smirk. As you sat down with her, she nudged you. "So you already held his hand? Wow it must be nice hmm?" Your cheeks were red as a tomato but you ignored her.

"Lee Y/n! Don't ignore me like Wonyoung" Taki said, pouting. "I won't Taki, besi- WAIT WHAT?!?" "What is it?" Niki asked, as your other friends gathered around your desk. It was a letter and a lite gift, from who? Well someone who secretly admires you. Why would someone like me? And admire me? You thought as you read the letter.

"Dear y/n,

First of all how are you? I hope you're having a good day. You might freak out while seeing this letter and gift but please don't. As time passes I'll show you the real me in person, but for now take my gift as a little mark on my journey to entering your heart. I hope you like it :)

- Your secret admirer ❤"

"Y/n's growing up" Jeongwoo fake cried, Haruto just rolled his eyes in annoyance. You opened the gift as everyone went back to their seats. You gasped, it was all of your favorite candies and chocolates. "Wow, he must really know you then. I mean he stalks you and that's creepy" Haruto complimented earning a little hit from Wonyoung.

"Stop being jealous Haruto!" Wonyoung said. Unluckily, the teacher came and the lecture began. The lecture ended but your mind just couldn't help but think Who is my secret admirer?

"Y/n! Did you eat?" Heesung asked as he saw you in the cafeteria. "No, I'm going to now so bye" you quickly said as you left to get some food. You heard your friends talking about your secret admirer as you walked towards their table to sit. "I wonder who is that secret admirer" Junhyuk said. "Y'all should stop, like seriously" Haruto said as he ate his ramen. "Because it's you?" Niki teased. His words made Haruto choke. Everyone's laughing stopped as you sat. "Go on continue teasing Haru, I don't mind" you said, earning a glare from Haruto.

It was time for P.E but you couldn't find Jungwon or Heesung anywhere. What are these two up to? Okay I should stop now you were wandering in your thoughts until you saw Sunoo sneaking in your locker.

WAIT WHAT?!? SUNOO? No way! Is he my secret admirer?!?

You just left, completely confused. Apparently you were the one who was late for P.E now, you saw Jungwon already warming up. After a little scolding from your P.E teacher, you finally went to your friends.

"I saw Sunoo at my locker, he placed an envelope too" you said making everyone overreact. "HE WHAT?!?" Jeongwoo shouted. "Shhhh" you told the loud boy to shut his mouth.

"What if Sunoo is your secret admirer?" Wonyoung asked you. "I mean we've been best friends since like forever so it'd be a little weird"

you said making Wonyoung nod. "Y/n can I talk to you?" you turned around only to see the owner of the voice.

"Sure Jungwon" you said as you both walked a little away from the group of friends. "I was wondering if you're free tomorrow" the boy nervously scratched his neck. WAIT WHAT? ARE YOU TAKING ME ON A DATE?! QWZERYUVMLIDHFKSK. "Oh yes, why?" you responded. "Well, I wanted to come over to hang out that's it" the boy innocently smiled. What in the WORLD WERE YOU THINKING LEE

Y/N?!? A DATE?!?

"Sure, you can come over" you replied, trying your best not to look dissapointed. "I'll see you then" Jungwon said before leaving. "I need to keep my expectations down low or else imma break my own heart" you whispered to yourself, trying to keep yourself together.

P.E ended earlier because of the rain. "Why does it always have to freaking rain?" Taki sulked. "Ask mother nature, not us" Niki replied, sighing loudly. "I guess we all would be drenched in rain when we arrive home" Haruto said. "Yeah I guess, let me get my chemistry notes from my locker" you said before heading to your locker.

"what's this?" you questioned as you saw an umbrella with a pink note on it. You opened the note, it said :

"Dear y/n,

I don't want you get a cold or even get drenched in the rain so here, I got this umbrella for you so you can walk home safely, make sure to stay healthy and don't forget to eat too.

-Your secret admirer

"I need to thank him for this" you looked at the clock, it was almost time to go home. "I guess I will thank him tomorrow then" you said before taking your notes but to your surprise their was no note inside your locker that you saw Sunoo put in. "Y/n come on!" Heesung shouted making you flinch. "Coming!" you said and quickly closed your locker and took the umbrella as you secured the note in your bag.

"Where did you get that from?" Heesung asked, referring to the umbrella in your hand. "Does it matter?" you said, Heesung just rolled his eyes. "Whatever let's go!" your brother started to walk out at a fast speed as you followed him. You opened your umbrella and smiled one last time before leaving your school's building.

Luckily, Heesung didn't get drenched in rain because of you. “Don't you dare ask me for a favor just because you helped me" Heesung warned earning a little chuckle from you. “Okay" you said, rolling your eyes playfully as he opened the door to your house.

After you got changed into something comfortable you opened your bag to do your homework but your eyes caught something. Another note? What? you opened the little purple mysterious note it said.

“Dear y/n,

I just wanna talk to you, like I can't help it anymore but I know in person you'd freak out so let's talk virtually.

My number : XXXXXXXXXXX

-Your secret admirer"

You started squealing while Heesung just looked at you with a confused face. I'm gonna leave her alone for now Heesung thought before going to his room. You added your secret admirer's phone number in your contacts. Just as you were about to send your first message your mind started to freak out.

Lee y/n, what if  you text something wrong? Think before you type idiot

You took a deep breath and texted him, waiting for him to respond. To your surprise he immediately responded making your heart flutter.

“Did he just call me sweetie? Skvjcu" you fangirled. Your phone rang, you could swear your heart stopped for a second as you thought it was your secret admirer,you checked the caller's ID it was Heesung.

You were beyond confused, as you   were just about to pick up the phone your brother quickly said “So are you- oh sorry y/n, it wasn't meant for you" and hung up. You just frowned at your phone and sighed.

The day passed quickly, Heesung left to see one of his friends but he still hadn't come home yet.

The second he stepped in and said “I'm home" you stomped your feet and started to mock him whenever you were late. “Where were you Lee Heesung?" you mocked earning a playful glare from him. “Can you not? I gotta go now, I'm tired" he yawned, you were about to say something but a knock on the door interrupted you.

• dating him is like dating your best friend

• would spam you with memes or tiktoks

• “this is so funny you should check them out”

• dates with him will be so fun!!!

• “are you sure it’s a good idea to ride rollercoasters after eating?” “yes absolutely”

• he almost threw up after riding one rollercoaster and you just laughed at him

• b-boying all the time

• “hey y/n look i learned this move earlier”

• you’d get scared sometimes bc he might break his arm while b-boying

• you guys will sometimes match your outfit but not like those very obvious and cringe matching couple outfits.

• mirror selfies with him omg!!

• he would keep ugly pics of you and think you’re still cute

• would always tease you or make fun of you playfully and you doing the same thing

• “ha! you’re so short” “shut up big foot”

• he would constantly hug you :( have y’all seen him always hugging the other trainees??? bc that was wholesome :(

• he needs his daily hugs.

• you would playfully remove his arms from you when he’s hugging you and he would throw a FIT

• he’s a big babie. he may look intimidating bc of his rbf but i promise he’s a softie

• he would always make you feel included if he sees you being out of place

• if you’re feeling sad he would make you laugh by making silly faces and his corny jokes

So to all my Angels who've been wondering where I've been, well school has been HELL and not only that Tumblr literally deleted 10 drafts of mine (￣^￣)

Since my account isn't a primary blog it's a secondary blog of @milkyharuto and Tumblr has been doing no good to my blog lately I'm moving to a new account uwu also trying to be more aesthetic because OOF I suck at being aesthetic

So from now on I'll be posting on ;

@awhwons

I hope to interact with y'all there uwu, so sorry to my 500 angels again