#ihadtorant

Happy birthday to you, stranger. You are basically nothing but a memory now but all day I have been thinking about how this is your special day. Even after all that has happened between us, I can't wish you ill on your birthday. It is a day all about you and that is all you care about. I miss you, a lot. I know our friendship, if you can even call it that, was dramatic and weird, but I miss our little moments. I miss going to your games, I miss cheering you on, I miss our hugs. I miss the thought of us maybe being together one day. I wanted to be your trophy wife that lit up your entire world, but you just put me up on a dusty old shelf that you don't even pay attention to. I'm sorry I'm not skinny and blonde, I'm sorry I didn't suggest jumping into bed with you right away, I'm sorry I don't hang out with your kind of people, and I'm sorry I don't party all the time and hook up with whoever I want. I'll forever wish that I could've been your perfect girl, but I know that I will never meet whatever your standards may be, and I am perfectly okay with that. I will always know I had a few moments with you, even though you probably don't remember or even care. So, go tell your friends that I'm a psycho bitch, and talk all the crap you want. It will never ever stop me from caring about you. I am sorry that my heart will not allow me to be as cold and narcissistic as you are. I am sorry that I cannot blatantly lie to your face, and act like it is right that I am doing so. I had genuine, real feelings for you and that will never ever regret them nor will I deny that I did. Was I crazy? Yes. Was I obsessive? Yes. Could our situation have been handled better? Every last second of it. Should I just let you go and delete you from my memory? Yes. Will I? Never. I AM SORRY. I mean really...how any times do I have to say it? You will never ever understand because you refuse to listen to anything I say. So this is for you, my handsome devil, happy birthday sunshine. I hope all your wishes came true.Please tell your mom I said hello. I am here, always. I am stupid enough to hear you out if you ever decide to talk to me again, but I am really hoping that the silence between us remains because I am so much better off without you. xoxo, Gelly

Most of the people in my town lose their virginity to dudes who don't give a fuck about them. They think that after they give it up the dude's are going to want to be with them or they'll fall in love with them. THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN. Why don't people lose their virginity to someone they actually LOVE. Not just guys they really like or they THINK they love. I lost my virginity to someone who i've known for yeeeeeears. He's the only person i've ever loved. He wasn't some random dude that I wanted to like me. Why isn't it like that anymore? Why don't people lose it to someone they honestly know that they love, not someone they just lust for ? Then they end up looking dumb when the guy doesn't want to be with them and they cry but they know it's their own fault for doing it to themselves.