#ifmlam

aaaaaaah thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!

Me: comes back

(is there a happy version of that Troy gif?  This news is basically the opposite of a garbage fire.  ANYWAYS)

So just a summary of the important shit I’ve missed this week:

* I’ve gotten more notes and followers from REAL ACTUAL LIFE HUMANS on my Tumblr in this week than I’ve gotten the whole past year since I got back on Tumblr?

* And they’re Hamilton fans??  This fandom is not dead apparently???

* legit one of the most amazing stories let alone fanfics I’ve ever read UPDATED for the first time in LITERAL YEARS WHAT THE FUCK?

(As a sidenote I guess that explains why my round 2 fic notes exploded...)

if you get the chance

will you ever get back to that hamilton fic

no pressure just

the black hole in my stomach (caused by the horror of not seeing a new chap) has already eaten my stomach and um

I kinda need organs yk

"Death is a rather permanent solution to things that are often rather temporary problems."

Or maybe it just put into words things I already believed, or needed very badly to believe. But either way, it sometimes feels like a sort of motto for me, and I'm very glad to have read it.

You don't need to respond to this or anything, I just wanted you to know.

aaaaah thank you so much!!!! 

yeah it's really fun and funny looking at my writing over both short and long time frames because there's so much of me stamped in? like there are the tiny things like sometimes when I'm lazy coming up with idiosyncrasies for characters (everything from "I'm going to give you my coffee order" to "I'm going to give you my childhood hyperfixation with volcanoes"*) to obviously with my fanfiction there is the Piece Of Fiction I Was Obsessed With At The Time but also a lot of the original fiction that I have I can pinpoint the setting influences and vibe influences of both stories that I liked but also Other Things That Were Going On In My Life and it just kind of feels like my whole body of work traces my emotional state and the things I was excited about and loved and hated in weird subtle ways and I really like that, the same way that like. the playlists that I've made and listen to on repeat for months at a time have. 

and it also kind of feeds into most of my projects are multi-year projects to ever finish but I never really try to build them around the expectation that I'll feel the same way for a decade, I build them around feelings that I know will be meaningful time capsules? like the way that I choose tattoos: as things that will mean something to me because they represent something important that I felt, not that I feel 

and I guess I'm really glad that I'm in a space where ifmlam is actually exciting to me again, bc it was something that was a huge positive to me for so long and it was a piece of work that not only am I really proud of what I'd written but there are so many upcoming parts that I'm even prouder of and I'm really glad that I never gave up and posted the outline of the rest of it bc it is fun to look back on who I was and how I wrote and take a break from who I am and what I've been doing for the last 5-6 years and return to a previous place both with what's changed and what hasn't. it's nostalgic and it feels right. I think I needed the break but also never needed to throw out the baby with the bathwater and I'm glad that I didn't. and like. maybe I'm having Emotions bc my life is Changing right now faster and more drastically than it ever has before and I think vastly for the better? but boy is it Emotions.

anyways this is a long and rambly way of saying that yeah, ifmlam is officially coming back; there are 2130 words of the next chapter (and oops a bit of a life update) on my patreon right now, and whether or not the patreon keeps voting for that as my open work to guarantee my working on it, I think enough momentum is built up that a new chapter will be posted-posted in like. 3ish months tops? and I'm loathe to make predictions about my life given how unpredictable my life is being right now but maybe possibly it's getting to a place where ifmlam is back on a "sporadic every few months updates" track rather than a "several years of hiatus in between new chapter drops" track???? but I guess we'll see. I'm really having a fun time letting my patreon vote on stuff bc while "wait for inspiration to strike for any given project" is a fun way to do things, I've also realized that I've got so many multi-year projects to finish that crowdsourcing some of what I'm working on makes me feel like I'm making progress on things that matter rather than stalling out on everything bc it's all going at once 

although also speaking of next few months and things no longer stalling even with it being The Most Anime Bullshit thing I've ever written GODS am I excited for Opus I and I think that one's also???? coming really soon??????? as in only a few months??????????

I will continue to work on all other writing projects as the inspiration strikes me; this simply acts as a guarantee that I will produce a certain number of words for the chosen project in addition to that.

This means both fanfictions — ifmlam, ttbotr, wriu, aiimbp, abbabf — and the drafts that I am working on for both original short stories and novels. The full description of all of the options will be posted on each poll. I will post all words written from the previous month’s poll in the access to everything tag. Maximum possible words per month will cap at 10k, because that is the amount that I amount that I can reasonably do while still working my day job.

Full descriptions of the options below the cut.