#ifidie

I am a Customer Host at a Wal-Mart Supercenter in the United States.

I am the first person you see as you enter and the last as you leave. I am the individual in a yellow vest giving your kids stickers and you my most best smile even though I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I am a Customer Host, I politely ask you for your receipt and let you go when you refuse. I am the Customer Host who endures your complaints, insults, taunts and threats for simply doing my job. I am a Customer Host and I actually care.

My heart breaks for those that we lost in El Paso, Texas. I pray every day for the families left behind and for the survivors that are still recovering.

I am a Customer Host I wish I could do more to protect my fellow associates and customers because I genuinely care for their safety. But in the event that a mass shooter enters my store my last words will be CODE BROWN ( act of violence) because that is all that I can do is warn you of the attacker and hope that is enough.

I am a Customer Host and if I shall perish in a mass shooting than my last request is this: please donate my organs to those who need them and then turn what remains into a diamond so that my beloved wife can have me by her heart forever.

Shout out my doc

For my script

Yo bitch only hit me up when she sick

Oxy and somaaa from my wounds from fleeing

a 211

in da winter of twenty fifteen

I was still in my teens

Paying dues to the gang shit

My best friend caught a bullet to the head

Leaving his brains hanging

Hit a city bus going 90 mph plus

I was in passenger seat w a strap

and kilo of coke in my lap

Came too with my dead friends brain matter on me

Trapped with the engine pinning me

Blacked out

Fought for my life

In a coma

Woke up with a boner

Offered the nurse twenty to suck my dick

When my whole family was in the room

came out a opiate addicted winner

Eating bitch boys for dinner

Screamin this for Bakob if I catch one of these

Beaners

Yeah ima racist raw Whiteboy hoe

I respect all until I’m given a reason I shouldn’t

But it’s hard not to stereotype

when you seen what I saw

I’m white but I wear designer

and keep a blower

Smoke speed too

I’m one of those crazy white dudes most the crips and bloods “gangsters”

I was in the county and pen

and all yall did

was yell, tell, and smell

Fuck crips fuck bloods and GDs any

Click from the east

Sur and Norte

ran around both they blocks they ain’t hurt me

Methedone mile in beantown

Kensington in Philly

I was poppin pharmaprans from Mexico

Ima felon can’t even go there

skid row in Los Angeles

On my lonely

Never scared banged my shit everywhere

yall hate each other

but im the racist one

Hard to trust anyone were they skin complexion not light

Cuz they killed my blood sister in a project buildin in Brooklyn

In her addiction hooking

At the entrance people stepped over her riddled body

Without stopping

Like a-wax said

“California street politics

mind ya biz keep out of dis”

Like they say what goes around comes around

Live by the sword ima die by it

I’ll never admit too shit

But how’s the saying go

all publicity good publicity

Tell police suck my dick

Only thing said get me a lawyer

Diane bass that bitch cost me 80 grand

and I still got a strike and time

Went on the run with 150,000 bail

With my pistol and a scale

Oh well

Oh i was supposed to turn myself in?

Front page LA times that’s were my crimes end up

You get released in bookin

Ain’t no such thang as a halfway crook

Made a oath that I took

never comply with the laws or authority

Who the fuck want war w me?

Everybody killer lil whitey ALPRAZOLAMDAN XANNIEDANNY violence excites me

Xannie Danny

WhiteyWorld

RIPSHAMExRIPIRIExRIPBAKOB

If I die before tomorrow at least I would sleep in peace.

if i die i want to leave as many things unfinished as i can. an empty cup of tea, some dying flowers that need watering, a book with three quarters of the pages dog-eared but the ending still untouched, conversations that i promised i would get back to, people that i still need to catch up with.

it sounds morbid, and unfair, that i don't get to do everything i wanted before i'm gone but i think that it reflects a life, and a person who is unhurried and peaceful. after all, happy person isn't waiting for their last day, they are expecting more to come.