#idnhaed

I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 247

I still have trouble with this. These days I tend to only drink socially, but I still have a hard time drinking an appropriate amount. It’s like... once the drinks start flowing, my brain just says ‘go for it! You’re allowed to drink!’ and I can’t stop. It feels a little like a binge to be honest - I just keep pouring it in my mouth without thinking until before I know it, I’m 3/4 of the way through a bottle of wine while everyone else is still on their first glass. I will probably just come to a point where I have to stop altogether (I’m not supposed to be drinking anyway with my meds). Look, I’m not a healthy example to follow now - my anxiety has led me to make some pretty stupid choices. We all make mistakes. I’m working on it, and I am getting better, but I still have a ways to go. 

This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!

Next page

Previous page

I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 246

Everyone has a different definition for what they call problem drinking, but mine was bad enough to concern me. I was so ashamed to tell my girlfriend, but she was so supportive. She saw that it was a problem, an addiction, not something I was actively choosing to do. She was so compassionate. 

Posting this a day early due to the holidays - I’m going away for the first week of January for some much needed R&R so I will queue the next comic to go up on time. 

This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!

Next page

Previous page

I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 245

Geez, I am so ashamed of this. Drinking bottle after bottle of wine alone at home. At first I would only buy decent wine, in the $20 a bottle type range, but soon that became too expensive, so I got cheaper and cheaper until I was just buying casks and drinking anything I could. It became an absolute addiction for me, and although I have some healthier boundaries now (I don’t tend to drink alone, usually save it only for weekends), I still have an emotional attachment to alcohol which means that I can abuse it. 

At first I thought this was just a turn that my eating disorder had taken. The more I read though, the more I learn about the propensity for people with bipolar disorder to fall victim to drug and alcohol addiction. That scares me. I don’t want to be an alcoholic. The best thing I did was start talking about it, but it took me a long time to get to that point. I’m not proud of it, but I’m working on it. 

This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!

Next page

Previous page

I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 255

I wish I hadn’t been so scared. I wish I could have kept my tears inside. Is this just what it’s like to navigate the world as a woman? Would I be afraid my whole life? 

Sorry, I guess I’m pretty sensitive today. I just have a lot of feelings rattling around in this body and when they have nowhere to go they just sort of crash into each other and cause chaos. I’m working on it. 

This page brought to you by my generous Patrons!

Next page

Previous page