#idlehands

Just because you are in motion doesn’t mean you are productive.

I realized today that I will die
with work unfinished, and someone
will have to find it. I am determined
to be alone, so who knows who
will have to sift through it all—fragments
of pages of nothing, dumb e-mails.
Will it be a lover? I hate the word
lover, but one of my lovers loves
the word lover, and so I can’t escape
it even though it makes me feel
beloved. I have a type, and I always
find them. When they ask me to put my own
hand to my own throat, I don’t just listen,
I ask Are you left-handed or right? because
the first or second or third or fourth
time you fuck someone is never the best;
ecstasy takes practice. I want to say this,
but I don’t because it would put pressure
on this nothing. I will die, and someone
(not them) will have to make sense
of the unfinished books and juvenilia
and W-2s and archived Internet journals
and paper to-do lists (car inspection, playlist
for K——, digitize to-do list). I’ll die
because one day I was alive
and the next day I was alive with a little
cul-de-sac at the end of an artery
in my brain. The doctor is concerned.
You’re telling me, dude. He has knowledge,
wisdom, experience. But I have some,
too. He asks if I have questions, and I tell him
the trick to having your heart broken
is telling someone You are going to break
my heart because either you’re happy
to be wrong, or you’re right.

Currently Listening To: "Glass Eyed Boys" by Idlehands

Currently Listening To: "The Venetian Hour" by Idlehands

number 199 and with this at 11:40pm it's the end of the marathon 🎃🎃🎃👻👻👻 #idlehands #nowwatching #nowplaying #horror #horrorgram #horrordvd #horrorfamily #horrorloversofinstagram #halloween #spookyseason #halloween2022🎃 #horrormarathon #horrorbluray #horrormarathon2022 #horrorfilms #horrorfan #horrorfanatic #horrorfanforlife #31daysofhalloween #31daysofhorror #horrorfiend #horrorgirl #horrorlover #i❤️horror #i❤️halloween https://www.instagram.com/p/CkaJ0Nwux4m/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=