Anyone planning their first trip to The States? Here's a handy little guide I made of my findings some years back. â˘Everything is bigger.Except for towels.Towels are not bigâ˘Deep fried battered steak for breakfastâ˘Airport security enjoy watching grown men cryâ˘Guns are better concealed than youâd imagine.Careful nowâ˘Even salt and sugar has added salt and sugarâ˘Puddle of Mudd - Blurry is the unofficial National Anthemâ˘Telling someone youâre just âtaking the pissâ out of them makes you sound like a kinky freakâ˘Gangbanging probably doesnât mean what you think it doesâ˘7eleven is Tom Hardy.Spar is Les Battersbyâ˘Mickey Mouse is not gay and his wife is lovelyâ˘I only saw one man drink a full glass of syrupâ˘Orlandoâs Tinder game is worse than Wiganâsâ˘Jesus is Americanâ˘Everything has added tax when you get to the till, so make sure mom gave you more pocket money than what the sign saysâ˘Guns are legalâ˘Vegetables are illegalâ˘The toilet water is very high.Beware of splashback and 'wet hand'â˘Dollars have real value and arenât just Monopoly money.Donât blow them on flags and other patriotic trinketsâ˘Donât jokingly talk advice into a tip jar instead of leaving money. It will not be well receivedâ˘Pavement is just a band, not something you walk onâ˘If a man is feeling the contents of your pockets he is probably trying to rob you, not trying to find his lost contact lenses/wifeâ˘Toilets often flush automatically.Donât be alarmedâ˘PBR is Carlsberg.Miller Lite is Carling.Fosters is Fostersâ˘Donât engage in a staring contest with police officers.They will slam your ass into the asphaltâ˘Ass means Arseâ˘Asphalt means concrete â˘Turkey Leg Vans > Ice Cream Vansâ˘Nobody knows what the word knobhead means so have fun with itâ˘Harry Potter is bigger than The Beatles but not bigger than Jesusâ˘Giant billboards with cheeky lawyersâ faces onâ˘Speak slowly, mancunian isnât a language out thereâ˘The streets are not movie sets. Donât get confusedâ˘I annoy people as much/more than I do at homeâ˘The phrases âcheeky nandosâ and âbanterâ leave natives very confusedâ˘Gainesville lived up to its name by putting 2 stone on meâ˘You sound like youâre from Londonâ˘Tesco Metro sized sex shops #america #usa #idiotabroad (at Manchester, United Kingdom)
