#ideapost

so there are two concepts I'm wanting to explore here that are intertwined: abusive relationships and habit/addiction (specifically in the context of abusive relationships). speaking from my own personal experience, it's pretty easy to find yourself addicted, in some sense, to your abuser; going through the usual habits and motions because even though they hurt, it's a hurt you know. it's one you can predict. and there is, unfortunately, a kind of comfort in that pain.

eventually, hopefully, yes, you realize that the cycle needs broken, despite the chaos that lies in front of you by letting go of this awfulness.

so vampires. why vampires? why a vampire, everybody does the vampire thing nowadays right?

for one that's a dumb reason not to do a thing. two, she's a vampire (well becomes a vampire [SPOILERS {not really, it happens like, before "rising action" even starts"}]) because this whole project started when I watched the most recent tropes vs women and the concept of the "euthanized damsel" was brought up. basically, in a video game, if <SIGNIFICANT FEMALE CHARACTER> turns into a horrible monster, you're probably gonna have to kill her. for her own good, you see. she's probably begging you to do it. go ahead, stick your bullets in her face. she wants it. she's asking for it. oh, and the door that leads to progress won't unlock until she's dead.

well isn't that just creepy as shit.

so I went "okay, well, let's say you're playing a game and <SIGNIFICANT FEMALE CHARACTER> turns into something horrible and you still get a non-choice, but the non-choice is to let her live and figure out what the hell to do from here". let's explore the idea not necessarily of redemption, I mean, letting her live may end up being REALLY BAD, but maybe you could also save her? or maybe it just ends up being that things will work out in the end in some weird middle ground that becomes a new normal.

so I picked vampires because I used to play vampire: the masquerade and I like that style of vampire. it also then lets me play with the "okay so vampirism is like this weird victorian metaphor for sex, so let's play with that, too -- sex isn't taboo like it used to be, so what parts of vampirism DO still represent taboos" well, drinking people's blood in a literal sense is kinda skeevy. but what about consenting donors? well, hrm, maybe there's a reason that they can't just keep drinking from the same person/people all the time (another perk of picking vampires -- the mythos around them is sufficiently flexible that you can pick and choose and not feel like you're fucking up the core "monster" type, like, when was the last modern vampire story you read where they couldn't cross water? fuck, in twilight they could go out in the day ffs and nobody bitched about -that- (just the sparkles) (and the mormon values)).

so okay maybe drinking from the same person too frequently is less nourishing, not to mention kind of like eating chicken nuggets every goddamn day for every meal. like, yeah it's food, but holy fucking shit you're gonna go crazy with boredom unless there's something wrong with you.

then i went "okay so eating food, right? i like the idea that vampires can still 'eat food' but they can't digest it, that was a thing in V:tM". typically they have to vomit up whatever it is they 'ate' later because otherwise it'll just sit inside them and rot and really if you're gonna have to puke it up it might as well be while it still tastes vaguely like it did going down. so like liquids are easy with this, but like, what about a hamburger?

if you turned into a vampire, and you really liked hamburgers before, and being a vampire is really scary to you (you didn't want this at all), would you still eat a hamburger, knowing that despite how it lets you feel normal for a little while, it's not only unfulfilling but also only a precursor to you having to do something that makes it even more obvious than not having the hamburger at all that something is wrong with you?