LOADING INFORMATION ON INDIGOâS MAIN DANCE, LEAD VOCAL, RAP MOON JIHUNâŚ
IDOL DETAILS
STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 26 DEBUT AGE: 21 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 18 COMPANY: MSG ETC: this member is known for their involvement in musicals
IDOL IMAGE
The steadfast, reliable one.
Thatâs what he is, thatâs what he needs to be, or so heâs told.
Not the one who ever truly stands out, only ever when heâs given the time to take center stage as a dancer, but a jack of all trades who blends smoothly into anything thatâs thrown at him. Dancing is what he does best, and he clears the stage every time heâs on there, so much so that thereâs articles written about how he comes alive, and thereâs comment chains about his so-called duality, on stage vs off stage, the artist vs the person, as if they truly knew either at all.
Where his bandmates are electric and mysterious, where theyâre magnetic and bring people in, his job is to keep them there, to be the anchor. Heâs approachable, perhaps a little too much, and the company pushes his open and earnest relationship to fans, because they need it. The company tells him to be the best friend, the big brother, never the favorite but good enough to make people feel comfortable. The meek shall inherit the earth, as they say.
Itâs a polished and just-flawed-enough version of who heâs always wanted to become, once, before the mirror cracked and the smoke vanished. Smile for the camera, be that boy, strong, unwavering, always there for others, sometimes not quite there himself.
He pursues musicals, gets the OK from the company after much insistence, after convincing them that itâll allow him to show versatility, that thatâs the thing they want for the group right now. Selfishly, he wants it for himself first, to show that he can take on that challenge and see it through. The company agrees, if only because they need it, a way to show and confirm, after re:group, that their idols can truly adapt and thrive no matter whatâs thrown at them. Itâs publicity, at least, but then itâs up to him to make it good.
Thereâs a sort of vindication in it, although heâs always been told to avoid being too prideful, but sometimes he canât help it. No hurt in telling yourself youâre doing well, after all, that your best is enough for once.
IDOL HISTORY
corner of the sky.
âSpecialâ.
âGiftedâ.
âProdigalâ.
Words that mean too much, until they dont mean anything at all.
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When Moon Jihun is seven years old, his parents sign him up for the school talent show, at his express request. He had seen this performance on TV, of an artist whose name he canât remember and that his seven-year-old grasp on language would probably jumble anyway, but it shakes something up in him like nothing has before. It plants a seed in his young mind thatâs only begging to grow, so he bats his lashes as his mother, and she writes his name down because of course, anything for her little prince. Before he knows it he gets a taste of it, the costumes and the light and the dramatics, but most importantly he hears his own voice, feels his body moving, and he loves how it makes him feel.
Passion feels like all he needs and he cultivates it, for all the years afterward, and itâs only the beginning of the road. Itâs also the foundation of a home, for Jihun, and back then itâs whole and beautiful and precious, not in ruins quite yet. Heâs his parentsâ and grandparentsâ treasure, the pride of Seogwipo, center stage in flashing light. The familyâs crown jewel who can do nothing wrong in their eyes.
Jihun, youâre so much more advanced than all the other kids!
You know, our Jihun practices a lot at home.
I think it shows, heâs so talented!
He works hard at performing because he loves it, Â but he canât deny that being told heâs good, being told heâs special, is more fuel to his fire. It must mean heâs doing something right, and it must be true, they have no reason to lie to him after all, theyâre only here to encourage and lift him up. Honesty is the best policy, always, thatâs what he believes and what he holds on to. So whenever his father grips him by the shoulders and tells him heâs special, he believes it. Whenever his grandmother hangs another picture on the wall, he feels his heart filling with pride. Every time he sees them sitting in a row, all eyes on him, itâs only more motivation to chase this dream.
Heâs special, after all.
Fresh out of middle school, he moves to the big city, Seoul, center of the known universe. And, or so he thinks, fulfills his destiny.
The performing arts school building towers over him the first day, so many promises rising up to the sky, all the hope heâd shouldered from all his years practicing finally about to fully realize themselves into something concrete, something for the future.
The future, as it turns out, is a paper plane that burns at the slightest change of direction.
Outside of his bubble, away from his family, Jihun crashes in a way heâs never experienced before. Whereâs that special kid, whereâs the prodigal son, in the middle of all the other students who are stronger and better in every way? Whereâs the gift gone, when heâs struggling to catch up, much less keep up, when he loses his breath and comes tumbling to the floor, lungs on fire, sweat trickling down his back, the unpleasant physical manifestation of failure.
Thatâs a new word, failure. It stains his tongue like the bitter taste of tobacco, the cigarettes he starts sneaking in between classes, hunched over, curled up on himself against the back wall of the building, shame and disgust and failure, failure, failure.
His parentsâ praise echoes in his mind and he tries to crumple it up and throw it away, because itâs not enough. It was never enough and he canât do anything with it now, not when he feels himself falling behind, slipping away, his dreams so far out of reach he should probably just let them go.
But letting go is not an option, of course. The only thing stronger than his shame is his stubbornness. If heâs just average, the only way is up. If he only has his determination to show for himself, then at least heâs got something. Everyone has to start somewhere, right? Â
Know where you stand. Stand your ground. Throw yourself into practice.
He takes everything in stride. Classes, projects, late night training, throw five or six desperate kids in a room and call it a learning experience. Sneak into the schoolâs studio when no one is looking, stumble upon a classmate, keep each otherâs secrets and keep each other afloat. Thereâs more vindication in knowing heâs trying than in being told he doesnât have to. Maybe itâs too much sometimes, but thereâs this growing, urgent need in Jihunâs gut to just prove that he can, so he keeps going, cultivates his work ethic far away from false promises and little white lies.
waving through a window.
Heâs eighteen, waiting at the bus stop when it happens, a man in a cheap suit handing him a business card, the three letters MSG feeling like a punch in the throat. He knows them, of course, anyone with an interest in the industry does. The fine print in is the manâs words, though.
âYouâve got a face thatâll sell.â
Itâs a start, maybe. Itâs ok if he can capitalize off of that, show what he truly wants to. Itâs a chance he canât afford to pass up. Even if he doesnât like to think of it that way, everything is a means to an end.
Trainee life is, for all heâs anticipated, just a leveled-up version of school. He gets the call back a week after his audition. The almost soulless voice on the other hand claims they saw something in him, and itâs been a while since heâs heard those words so Jihun takes them with caution, files them in a corner of his mind thatâs still marked with a red flag.
He still shows up on the companyâs doorstep with his suitcase and his aching heart.
The cycle starts again. Push yourself to the limit, say yes, thank you, Iâll do my best, Iâll work harder, and then do just that. Itâs all youâve got a claim to, after all. In that room heâs just like he was before, keeps himself afloat among the others, and eventually, he finds his footing. He can breathe a little easier, sleep a little sounder, even if he doesnât get to do either of those things much. Little by little, finally, he makes himself known. Remarkable if only for how diligent he is, people also commend his hunger to prove himself. The downside, that he tries not to let become his downfall, is his tendency to bite off more than he can chew, leaving projects unfinished or unpolished just because he wants to move on to the next one, to do everything at once, to show his worth. Run through a dance cover, move on to some barely formed choreography, or two, sometimes both at the same time because he needs to keep his mind occupied and alert.
His body feels like itâs being taken apart every day, from the hazy dance practices that blend into each other, always longer and more grueling and the next, but he loves it, this feeling, when the world spins and heâs taken along in the movement. Itâs all he ever wants to do. Itâs all he feels that he knows.
âYou just donât stand out.â
Itâs that sentence, that he seems to hear over and over, that makes his blood boil and sets his heart on fire. âIf theyâre not looking my way, Iâll make them.â
And he does.
If heâs always heard that debuting is the hardest part, heâd wager that following up is harder. It doesnât feel difficult or painful when he stands on that stage for the first time, finally, a day that heâd begun to think would never come. It feels freeing. It feels like the sky has opened up and all the atmospheric pressure has been lifted, and rain is clearing yesterdayâs pain to make way for tomorrowâs joy.
Tomorrowâs joy, he learns the hard way, only comes to the fortunate. Theyâre not among them. Months pass and comebacks happen and everything remains the same, leaving sweat stains and tear tracks everywhere they go, trying to make sense of a situation that never does. Itâs not hard work that makes dreams come true, itâs luck, pure dumb luck, and theirs ran out so quickly that Jihun keeps wondering if thereâs something theyâre doing wrong.
Still they keep on going, stuck somewhere between determination and desperation, a single red thread that threatens to snap at any moment. Itâs burned into Jihunâs skin, this lifeline, the promise of a better tomorrow that never seems to come; low sales, low views, low interest, low morale, but still this hunger, unsatisfied yet, and maybe it never will be.
soul of a man.
Re:group is grueling, worse than heâd imagined, worse than heâs been through.
Against the odds, he hears those words again. One by one as the guys walk in, this one is special, this one is gifted, this one is prodigal, and yet theyâre all here, but to him they donât seem to realize the reason why.
He gets the devilâs part, grits his teeth when he watches the episodes and sees what theyâve made of him, but he makes do with it. After all, this world will only ever let you be who theyâve already decided you are, and in a situation like this one, itâs pointless to fight against it. If you know who you are then itâs enough, and Jihun does, finally. So he works, and he works, because thatâs all he knows, and he refuses to let anyone hold that against him at least. If the producers decide heâs the bad guy, too relentless and demanding and straightforward, then so be it. Through it all, he fights like a lion who refuses to die in the cage.
Too often his outspokenness is mistaken for humor, and the things he says that pertain to the hardships of the industry are brushed to the side or not taken seriously. The industry is cruel, this much he knows, but even in the role heâs been given, even as the MCs and the managers try to silence him, he knows he can hold on to what he believes. Sure he has to compromise, and it eats him alive on most days, how often heâs asked or downright forced to set his conscience aside. The fans notice, a little, but itâs only small things they can get attached to. For now itâs probably enough, not that heâd be allowed anything more.
At the conclusion of it all, under stage lights and scrutiny, as heâs been doing all his life, he waits for his name to be called. But the call never comes. Itâs okay. Itâs enough. he  did his best, and theyâll never take that away from him.
The gate opens to a brave new world instead.
one day more.
Fortune is a funny thing, really.
One day it seems like itâs all but abandoned them, thrown them to the side of the road to fend for themselves and eventually be picked on by vultures, a disgraceful end for a disgraceful life.
The next day, like some trickster god was in a benevolent mood and spun the wheel again, they wake up in a world where people have finally taken notice, where theyâre not an afterthought anymore.
The first group schedule after the show, Jihun can barely see through the crowd and the flashing lights. Itâs a new feeling and he thinks he could get used to it, even if the little voice in the back of his head warns him that this too shall pass if theyâre not careful.
Take the second chance and run with it, because they donât come easy, because it could be the last. Take the love, the admiration, the trophies, cherish them, because they could slip away at any moment.. Put in your demands now, because they canât refuse you anything anymore. Now Jihun understands what itâs like to be the breadwinner, the move maker, the one that the light is finally shining on.
In the wake of their newfound success, Jihun gets cast in his first real musical, so far from the cardboard and the watercolor of the school talent show. Itâs a never-ending thrill ride, a rush of adrenaline like heâs never known before, one that he hopes he never gets used to. Heâs clawed his way up here and heâll fight to stay, even when the industry is as unforgiving as its ever been.
When the cameras are off, as always, his strong moral compass is both his lifeline and his downfall. Even when it starts working in his favor, he still disapproves of many aspects of the idol industry, silently protests against the personal restrictions, refuses to settle for âthis is how itâs always been done.â His intentions to voice that dislike are often shut down by his company to maintain the image they gave him, one that is a little too off to who he truly is for him to stay quiet for long. Maybe one day the industry will change enough that it will never have to be this way again, for him or anyone who shares his way of thinking. For now, if he can keep his balance despite all of it, if he can stay true no matter what, then heâll have already won.
It takes a lot to break a manâs spirit. Even more when heâs already been patched up, and is held together with renewed hope; and the knowledge that if he holds on to his unwavering belief in whatâs right, and keeps on his path as he has, then heâll find a way out into the light in the end.
