I am a freshman student from one of the top universities in this country. Well, at least I used to be. My first year just ended, but oh man, how I wish could go back in time and turn it all around. Prior to college, I seemed to have everything sorted out. I knew what I wanted to do when I go to college. I had my set of goals. You know, the typical dreamer kind of thing. I was ready to take on the world. I wanted to do good in school. I wanted to do so well; I wanted to excel. I wanted my first three terms to end with a bang. I wanted to finish each term with flying colors. Ambisyosa, I know. Well, I can dream. Right? That's right, I had a dream. I am a dreamer lost in her own dreams. We all know how life works, right? Some things just really don't work out for some. Unfortunately, I am one of those people. My first year in college didn't turn out the way I always wanted it to be. It didn't go according to my plan. But I don't blame life. I blame myself. First term, 6 units. The second term came, another unit down. The third, I took one course for granted therefore adding up another 3 units on my list. Less than an hour ago, Math took its toll on me. There goes my 13th unit of failure. What went wrong? I did wrong. I wouldn't say it happened because I'm stupid, but it happened because I made stupid decisions. I didn't know my priorities. I took my subjects for granted and I put up this YOLO front. I admit, I was pa-cool. Pa-cool ako, punyeta. I became too caught up with living up to other people's standards and I somehow lost the drive, the need and the motivation to actually go out there and do what I had to do; not what they wanted and coerced me to do. I wanted to impress the rest of the world and forgot to prioritize and impress myself. I neglected myself. I became too lazy and too petiks. Tangina, eto na nga lang tinatamad pa ko tapusin eh. I don't even know anymore.
