#ibe

A year and a half ago [Ilmari] Kärki was on an "escape trip" in Amsterdam with his friend. Both of their relationships had ended recently, and now they were getting drunk in the red-light district.

Kärki had gotten wasted ("like hell") and lost his friend. He was asking for a light from an Irish ecstasy dealer who had been hanging around the street and who had called the young Finnish man gay. Kärki was offended but kept the conversation going. It turned out that the guy standing next to the dealer was gay.

– He asked me, how do you know you're not gay before you've tried it. And that I should leave with his friend to try it out.

– I actually started considering it, like what if I went. What if it'd be fun. I haven't met the right one in my relationships yet. What if the right one wouldn't be a woman, but something else.

In the end, Kärki did not take the offer of a date, but the meeting stayed in his mind. Why was I offended? And why have I never given myself the chance that I might be something else than straight?