#iamavibe

So, the other day i was minding my own business nje and bumped into a friend. Let’s call him Bumpkin. So uBhut’ Bumpkin greets me and we have small talk and all, which was great. Until he said you are looking beautiful.

...Moment of silence...

Usually, one would blush or giggle an inaudible response. But, i just didn’t do that. In my head i was like ‘dude, you can miss me with that you are beautiful whatnot’ but I responded and i said, ‘i don’t feel beautiful’. Not because my face wasn’t made up or i was under dressed. (well to be fair, that thought did cross my mind) I just didn’t feel beautiful from the inside. I felt ugly and if i could have had it my way, i could have stayed at home hibernating like other mammals and wait for summer. I am sure uBhut’ Bumpkin thought to himself, this chic is just being extra or dramatic cause he just said kodwa you are looking beautiful!

I part ways lo Bhut’ Bumpkin and go to my office and i bump into one of my photography brothers. With excitement, he’s like i am getting my camera and i am coming to take a few pics of you.

...Another moment of silence..

Ordinarily, a free photo shoot is welcome. But not that day. I literally was feeling bleh. I wasn’t feeling photogenic at all. On top of that its winter, and winter had done the most to my skin. All those excuses didn’t deter him from snapping a few pics of me. What a difficult spontaneous shoot that was. I tried to channel some inner something something but to no avail. And at that point i stopped caring and just let him snap away. I honestly, don’t think i was present as he was taking pics of me.

Later, that evening, he sent me the pictures he took. And oh boy, i dreaded downloading any of them because i knew i looked terrible. But, because i like things, lol, i downloaded and yikes i looked at myself and i just said, “child,you can be too hard on yourself at times”

I saw Love. Pain. Joy. Sadness. Insecurity. Existence. Strength. Vulnerability. Boldness. Flaws. Scars. And a whole larra woman in those pics. And in that moment i found a confidence in my skin that i never knew existed. I saw, and actually believed that i am beautiful. Flaws and all. Scars that are beyond skin deep but yet radiate a beauty that is only God given.

It took uBhut’ Bumpkin and the awesome KB Mpofu to remind me that i am beautiful. Ndimhle guys! I am a vibe!