So, let me start by saying flower symbolism is an absolute mess. Obviously I couldn't fit all of the potential meanings in the poll description, but a lot of times, flower meanings are contradictory. No matter where you look, you'll find another source that says something different. I tried to get the general gist, but that meant leaving a lot of things out.

That said, daffodils are interesting because their meanings are in such opposition to each other. They're symbols of hope and despair. They're both for renewal and being backward-looking. It's contradictory, and that push and pull is interesting.

Also, as I sort of implied in the poll, daffodils are a group of flowers that fall under the group called Narcissus -- named after the Greek myth of Echo and Narcissus, from which we derive the term narcissist. For those who don't know the basic story, the nymph Echo falls in love with Narcissus, who is beautiful but vain. She approaches him, but he spurns her because he is too arrogant. Depending on which version of the myth you go by, either she curses him herself or he is punished by the gods for breaking her heart. Either way, he winds up falling in love with his own reflection and pining away, with the Narcissus flower blooming where he dies, entranced into immobility and unable to look away from himself.

A fitting irony for Astarion -- someone who was vain and dismissive of others, who ended up cursed for his arrogance. It's ironic, in that Astarion's curse denies him the ability to see his own reflection. Instead of death, he is transformed by unlife. He is a sort of inverted Narcissus, punished for his vanity, not allowed to ever see his own reflection again and not allowed to die but, in an ironic sort of way, this is the thing that allows him the opportunity to change and grow -- a renewal, a transformation.

Astarion is a Narcissus who was forcibly humbled, denied his reflection, forced to use his once greatest asset as a weapon against himself, then given a chance to repent, to change. Unlike the actual Narcissus, who was forced to drown in his own folly and arrogance without ever realizing his punishment, denied the chance to change or redeem himself, Astarion gets a second chance. Of course, the player can give him a push to transform into a better version of himself, or to embrace his worst aspects. The player is his mirror, symbolically and even in-game (the mirror scene), allowing him to become whatever they reflect back to him.

Astarion hates that so much, especially after he catches feelings. He would 100% confront her about it. They really should have had an argument about it -- how can she throw herself away, he needs her, "don't do this to me" sort of stuff. He's also absolutely the sort to hit below the belt -- why didn't your god help me, if He's so compassionate? He's a hypocrite, just like the rest of the gods, letting mortals do all the work and then taking the credit for it. And so on. It would be a good tie to the "bear blood" scene, where Tav can warn him against the corruption of power, especially when he says that "heroes" are a part of the problem.

Of course, an argument like that can't just happen and then be forgotten. I do think Astarion would feel bad about it, even as he tries to convince himself he has nothing to feel bad about. But you can't love a devout follower of a god without coming to terms with their faith. I'm not sure Astarion will ever forgive the gods, but I do think he'd eventually realize that Velassa became a follower of Ilmater because she was already compassionate. She didn't change herself to please a god, but followed a god who told her that she was already good for being who she was. He can respect that, even if he does still think the gods are hypocrites.

For her part, I think Velassa would understand that Astarion says cruel things as a defense mechanism. That doesn't make it hurt any less, but she gets it. She forgives him, but definitely gives him a stern talking to about better ways to deal with emotional pain. She is kind, sweet and altruistic, but she's not weak or emotionally-fragile. She follows He Who Endures, and you don't develop endurance by shrinking from pain, whether it's physical or emotional. She may be a bleeding-heart altruist but she's also a medic used to keeping pragmatic in volatile situations--she's dealt with people lashing out at her for trying to help, and takes no nonsense.

I also think, at some point, Astarion would decide that he's going to stick around and just stab the shit out of anyone who tries to take advantage of her kindness. He can't talk her out of it. She's firm in her convictions. So if she's so set on this self-sacrifice stuff, well, he'll just have to get in the way and make sure she survives it. The gods have already forsaken him, and her god can't be mad at her if he's the one doing the stabbing, right?

I see that playing out as a reminder to her about how easily he was able to get a knife to her throat, and she should keep him around to make sure no one else gets the chance. He won't stop her from helping others (because he can't), but if they try to cut her throat for it, why should he let that happen? He'll still complain about it, of course, in part just because I think he enjoys being bitchy, but he does mean to keep her safe regardless.

I also really think they (and all the romances, tbh) should have a scene for if they wear the matching warding bond rings. I think it would really freak Astarion out that someone is willing to literally take damage meant for him. It would scare him to think about (what if Cazador found out and tortured him to her death?), but also why would anyone be willing to do that for him?

I think he would initially refuse to wear the ring, and even after confessing his feelings, would rather wear the ring that absorbs the damage than the one that protects from the damage. Part of that is a desire for agency and autonomy, but also, I think even he realizes he's better at handling physical pain over emotional pain.

I think caring for others (in his own way) comes way before he's truly comfortable being cared for. He tries so hard to distance himself from others' pain because caring is what's hurt him the most in the past. Part of his growth is realizing both that it's okay to care and be cared for. Some part of his mind still keeps screaming that no one helps others without expecting something in return, and if you don't know the price, you can't prepare yourself for it. Getting over that mental hurdle is a long, slow process.

As to taking care of each other, the obvious thing Velassa does is let him feed from her, making sure he's not hungry. As a healer, she knows how badly starvation affects someone. In return, I imagine Astarion being fussy about making sure she's eating enough, keeping hydrated, not pushing herself too hard, and being a nuisance if she tries to push through it anyway. All for "practical" reasons, of course, not because he's worried or anything. (He's worried.)

Velassa, of course, is careful about monitoring herself for blood loss and its effects. That said, she's also Ilmatari, so in a certain sense, she overrelies on her own endurance. She can push herself farther and sacrifice more of herself than most, thanks to her god. Astarion sees that as reckless, though, and it irks him that she's so cavalier about her own health. So what if she can handle it? She shouldn't have to!

I think they should have included a scene where if you offer him blood, say, three times in a row, he declines the next time. Tasty as blood is, it takes time to replenish. The "bloodless" condition is literally someone suffering noticeable effects of blood loss. You can't just keep losing that much blood every night without it becoming dangerous. Even factoring in that blood seems to "intoxicate" him, he's pragmatic enough to realize (feelings aside) it would be a bad thing for him if she became too weak to function.

Beyond the obvious, though, one thing I head-canon is that Astarion starts to learn a lot about herbalism and plants. Velassa, as a life cleric of Ilmater, is trained in herbalism and is constantly collecting medicinal ingredients. Astarion starts out quite the city-dweller, but he has sharp eyes. I think he'd pick it up quickly. They're walking along and Astarion spots some rare plant, points it out to her. Despite himself, he starts learning about how to make medicines to the point that he scoffs at the prices merchants charge for things like healing potions. "Tell me you're joking. All our cleric needs to create these is three flowers and a mushroom you can find literally anywhere. Please." 🙄 And then everyone gives him crap about "our" cleric, Shadowheart pretending to be offended.

I really think there should have been a lot more friendly teasing of the ROs in this game. You cannot tell me that this group would not be (lovingly) roasting the shit out of each other, especially the two idiots in love.

I also think Astarion starts teaching Velassa about how to pick locks, disarm traps and recognize thieves' cant. "You don't have to steal to know how to pick a lock. What if you get locked up somewhere and need to escape? Are you going to pray the lock open?" (She might.) Velassa doesn't have great dexterity, but she is intelligent and perceptive, so I think she'd start to get the hang of it. "And who'd expect a cleric to know thieves' cant? You can listen in and learn all sorts of things with no one the wiser." That stuff is all still in his wheelhouse, but it's a handy skill to have in a pinch. In my playthrough at the goblin camp, Velassa freed Liam from the torture rack by picking the lock on the first try, and I imagine Astarion was sooo proud.

For a date, I think despite appearances, Astarion would like something low-key. He's tired of always having to put on a performance. For all he talks up enjoying it, hedonism and debauchery are old hat after two hundred years of being forced into it. I see him wanting something like going to some secluded place and star-gaze, just talking and watching the sun rise together. Safe, contemplative, no need for pretense. Something genuine, real.

The graveyard scene is sort of in that vein, but the focus is different. There he's recognizing that he's finally, actually free of Cazador, that he has a future. He's relieved, triumphant, ready to start reclaiming himself, starting with sex if possible. He hasn't yet had time to start thinking about the future or who he is now. But after that? After he's had time to start coming to grips with it?

It would make him nervous as hell. Sex is (comparatively) easy, but intimacy? Being vulnerable, not just for a moment before he puts the walls back up, but for a lifetime? He's on new ground for the first time in 200 years. To be seen, to be actually known, and to know someone else -- that's something he craves, and fears.

It's never really occurred to him because Astarion's not a naturally introspective person, but I think after Cazador's dealt with, he has a real "what now?" moment. All he's ever dreamed about was freedom. The future is a blank, and he doesn't even know himself well enough to really know what he wants. But now, there's this person by his side, someone he cares about, and he realizes just how little he actually knows about her. Now he wants to know everything.

Outside the whole tadpole thing, and her basically becoming the leader of their merry band of misfits, who is she? He doesn't understand her, despite being around her for so long. How is she like this? Why? What drives her to go so far for his sake, when he knows he doesn't deserve it? And she is so confident in who she is and her convictions.

I can see him asking lots of questions, in part because he's looking for guidance to figure himself out, but also because he's never really had a chance to care about anyone else. He's desperate, afraid, because now he's had a taste of happiness. Part of him still expects it to be ripped away. He wants reassurance that it's safe to care. Not because he thinks she'll reject him, but all he knows is the role of "sexy, cynical vampire". But if she believes he can be more than that, well, maybe he can be.

I also wish we were able to include our Tavs' family in-game. I'd have loved the opportunity to have Velassa introduce Astarion to her (noble) family. Her father would definitely be making Astarion sweat bullets, not least because Velassa's (retired assassin) father used to be her mother's bodyguard. 😁 History repeating, and all that.

As I've mentioned elsewhere, dear Velassa was not originally a Tav. She was, in fact, a protagonist for a different game -- one that "died" in Early Access and was resurrected with some major differences.

In her original incarnation, Velassa was the daughter of a human noblewoman and a fey assassin for the Winter Court of Faerie. She had an older brother, but her mother and brother were killed by a neighboring noble who hoped to claim their lands via shenanigans. Pro tip: don't cross the fey.

As a result, Velassa grew up having a large estate and a lot of her fellow nobles keeping tabs. Not surprisingly, when she was old enough, she was "selected" for the honor of playing ambassador to a very war-happy neighboring kingdom that had been showing signs of unrest recently. The former ambassador had been unceremoniously ejected by the host kingdom, counted lucky to keep his head. She's told to go smooth things over, only to learn after she arrives that there's been a recent assassination and everyone's being very tight-lipped.

One day, I hope to actually play that game. I was ready for court intrigue, playing a foreign ambassador who's skilled in politics and required to play detective, taking whatever allies she could find while trying to outmaneuver a hidden assassin. For extra fun, Velassa developed a slap-slap-kiss-kiss dynamic with the local white-haired, smarmy rogue assassin (who swears he's not responsible for the murders and neither he or the assassins guild knows who the culprit is, but would love to find out who's encroaching on their territory.)

Sadly, the new version of the game was not the one I'd envisioned. The new version of the ambassador definitely didn't fit Velassa. I put her in my pocket, waiting for a good place to re-home her.

Lo and behold, Baldur's Gate 3's Early Access came along. I didn't go in completely blind, and after poking around in the character creator for a while, I felt Velassa would fit pretty well on Toril. Half-fae aren't a playable class, but that was easily remedied by going half-elf. There was even a smarmy, white-haired rogue for her to knock heads with!

Granted, it wasn't a perfect transition, but eventually, I worked out who the new Velassa is. In this version, her mother and brother never died. Her brother was the heir, meaning she was free to pursue her own path instead of being responsible for the estate or the duties of being the scion.

In my headcanon, the Fairhavens are a branch family of the Caldwells; they're nobility, but not patriar. They have a small estate outside the city proper, which has a small remnant of the original Caldwell apple orchards. Once a year, the estate produces their special Fairhaven Spiced Rosé Cider, which is highly prized in the Gate thanks to the incredible flavor and limited availability. However, their real money comes from investments in local businesses. They aren't the most wealthy members of the upper-crust, but much better off than their status might suggest.

Despite her good looks and family, Velassa was relatively free to pursue her own path. The Fairhavens are the subject of a minor scandal in that Velassa's mother chose to marry her elf (ex-assassin) bodyguard over a patriar's son, then refused to disown her half-elf children at a time when interracial marriages among the nobility were still considered taboo. Despite recent changes in social acceptability, the scandal still lingers, making Velassa's marriage prospects rather questionable. Her mother gave up trying to make her socialize with other members of the nobility, which suited Velassa just fine. An attractive woman with no marriage prospects is a dream come true for many noblemen. By the time she started physically developing, she'd already had lots of experience with unwanted attention.

Velassa has always felt like an outsider. Like most half-elves, she doesn't fit comfortably into either of her parents' cultures. Her biology is a mix, meaning neither parent can really fully relate or understand. Her brother mostly can, but as the heir and being several years older, they weren't as close as either of them would have liked growing up. She grew up with few friends, being closer with the servants than other nobles, but even then it was never as equals. Rather like Wyll, she took to sneaking out to see how the "other side" lives. This gave her a view of poverty most of her "peers" never saw or cared about. Of course, she could never reveal who she really was to those she met, as that would have been very dangerous. Still, she never could shake the feeling of unfairness.

Years later, she was called to serve by Ilmater. She experienced a minor manifestation: a child running by carrying daisies, dropping some as she passed, and the wind catching a red ribbon on Velassa's arm. (Daisies and the color red are two of Ilmater's symbols.) She saw the ribbon curl around her wrist and felt an overwhelming sense of peace. For the first time in her life, she finally felt understood and seen, and granted a real chance to make a difference. Velassa's family weren't sure what to make of her choice to join Ilmater's clergy. While he's a well-regarded god, his clergy is hardly prestigious and notoriously poor, but they gave their very confused support anyway.

She underwent the training as an acolyte, which was difficult, but she kept at it. Less than a year after her Adornment, Bhaal was resurrected, kicking off a series of deaths and chaos in the city. Newly-minted cleric Velassa was kept busy for months.

Then, the chaos of the Second Sundering began. Velassa was deployed to help those suffering after a massive earthquake in Iriaebor. While there, she healed injuries and helped those left homeless, while also lending aid to help rebuild. In that same year, she was redeployed to Amn, after a plague of locusts struck the land. She headed to Crimmor, a trading hub south of Nashkel. From there, she could treat refugees and travel with caravans carrying food and supplies, ensuring that the caravans reached their destinations and their goods were fairly distributed.

During the next few years, as the gods were forced to take mortal forms, there were more conflicts, wars sending refugees fleeing every which way, natural disasters and lots of suffering. While Velassa never did get to meet Ilmater face-to-face, she kept traveling and trying to help others. Her skills with medicine and first aid saved lives, even without Ilmater's divinely-powered spells.

By 1489, things had mostly calmed down and most of the gods were restored to their former divine status. Of course, the destruction they left behind was still there and on-going. Velassa continued traveling the Sword Coast and helping those in need. She wrote to her family as often as she could, but didn't make it back to Baldur's Gate all that often.

She was finally on her way back to the city again, traveling with a merchant caravan, when the nautiloid picked her up. My girl can't catch a break.

As far as personality goes, by first impressions, she's a sweetheart -- which she is, but she's not nearly as soft as people assume. Being compassionate doesn't always mean being nice, and in fact, sometimes requires tough love. She often comes across as naive, but generally she's intentionally giving others the benefit of the doubt. It's not that she doesn't know any better. She absolutely does, but being Ilmatari means helping people anyway even if they're being deceitful little bastards. She's a healer, which means she's used to people being in pain, which generally means snippy, obstinate, lying through their teeth and not thinking clearly. She's compassionate and kindhearted, but when it comes to injuries or illness, she's all business. She'll speak softly to you, give you the shirt off her back, play therapist for all your emotional problems -- but she's also a hard-nosed pragmatist who absolutely would amputate a limb without flinching to save a patient's life. Like a lot of "first responders" who routinely deal with senseless death and violence, she has a streak of dark humor. She absolutely will take someone to task for jeopardizing their own health, and excels at making that person feel about an inch tall. She's as nice as can be, situation permitting, and also utterly terrifying if you're on her bad side. Don't piss off the healer.

Most people don't realize right away that she's nobility, and she'll happily keep that fact to herself. There are still a few tells, but she's worked hard to minimize them. Few people ever really get to know her, which is how she prefers it. She'll share a few shallow surface facts about herself, let people see how she acts and fill in the blanks for themselves. End result, they think they know who she is: a stereotypical cleric -- a healer and do-gooder. Once they have her "figured out," it's rare that anyone ever goes back to question it.

And she plays the role quite well, so there's no real reason for anyone to think they've got her all wrong. It's a rather effective form of camouflage. It's only when other people start asking questions about her that anyone realizes just how little they know. Suddenly, they find they can't answer even the simplest of things about someone they think they know well. Even if someone does realize she's not very forthcoming about herself, they assume it's just her being humble. Which, to be fair, she does try to be humble, but it's actually far less healthy than that.

In truth, she's essentially trying to make herself an un-person. She has been in war-zones, the aftermaths of natural disasters, famines and plagues. She has seen the extent that desperate people will sink to and the atrocities people will commit against each other for almost nothing in return. She's given her everything, only to be cursed at for not doing enough by angry people who have no one else to lash out at. She's been at the bedside of the dying, trying to provide some final comfort, then turning to their grieving families, some of which blame her for not being able to save their loved one. The only way she could cope was to go numb, to try to be good while not allowing herself the space to break down. There's always more work to be done, and Ilmater will give her the strength to keep going. She treats herself like a tool, a vehicle with which she can go do good without ego getting in the way. She is a servant of her god, who exists to eventually be sacrificed for the greater good. After all, martyrdom is the highest honor an Ilmatari can receive.

As such, she doesn't practice what she preaches when it comes to her own health and well-being. After all, she's a cleric, and a cleric of Ilmater at that. Self-sacrifice is part of the dogma. She'll heal any injury, and her god is the god of endurance. Pain is nothing but an inconvenience. She knows her limits. Don't worry about it. (Do worry about it. She does know her limits, but that doesn't mean she won't push them to the breaking point.)

Part of her problem is that she feels like an imposter, though she'd never admit it even to herself. But she grew up wealthy, and so even in the beginning there was always a part of her that felt others would judge her as a pretender. After all, if she ever got tired of the whole cleric thing, she could always go home and her family would take care of her. That's not an option for most people. As such, she feels she always has to go above and beyond to prove the sincerity of her faith, and it's never enough. It won't be enough, not unless she's martyred. Combine that with all of her perceived "failures" and the guilt she feels for being emotionally numb, and it's just easier to just not be a person. Just focus on the task at hand. As long as you're doing the "right thing," no one can fault you, right?

Not surprisingly, the rest of the tadpole gang doesn't like that. It takes them a while to catch on, but eventually they start to realize that she never chimes in when they're sharing backstories or volunteers how she feels. Once one of them notices, the others start to pick it up too. It becomes more and more unsettling how it seems like there's a void where they expect a person, especially considering their psychic connection. From there, they start to notice all the little ways she disregards herself, puts herself in harm's way for the sake of others...

I headcanon that they all make a pact with each other to keep an eye on her. She does everything for everyone else, and asks for nothing. Given the religious trauma of so many of them, it becomes increasingly obvious to them that she is not in a good place, mentally. She is a good person, yes, but this is not some sort of saintly transcendence of the flesh. Instead, she's breaking herself, trying at self-annihilation "for the greater good."

Obviously, as the group becomes closer, this becomes increasingly more worrisome. She is an ideal leader in many ways: she cares about her people, she doesn't ask anything of anyone that she wouldn't do herself, she's good at managing resources ... but none of that matters if she gets herself killed (or worse). Astarion is especially twitchy about this. After messing up his own simple plan and developing real feelings, every now and then the memory of how easily he was able to get a dagger to her throat on their first meeting floats back into his mind and gives him ~anxiety~. Poor Astarion picked the absolute worst possible person to develop feelings for. (Mwahaha!)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I think Raphael is the antagonist who is her most personal foil. He is a literal devil, of course, which immediately puts them at odds. His whole shtick is essentially the perversion of compassion and hope, offering to "save" those in desperate need just when they need help the most. But more than that, his deal preys on her worst instincts. He promises a way to save Toril in exchange for the Crown, with a default clause that she sacrifices her own soul if she fails to hold up her end. Obviously, she has no intention of giving him power ... but is her own soul worth the price of saving all those lives? Now that is a temptation tailor-made for Velassa. If self-sacrifice is proof of the highest good, then what greater sacrifice can one make than one's own soul? (Velassa🤝Wyll, making bad choices for noble reasons.)

They also have some interesting things in common, which I'm certain Raphael would realize rather quickly. They're both "halves" -- half-elf and half-fiend, both struggling with defining where they fall. Raphael has rejected his mortal side, but it still affects him and how he's treated by other devils (including dear old dad). Velassa is an outsider to both sides of her heritage. They're both lawful, though on opposite sides of the moral spectrum. They're both skilled at dealing with people and anticipating their needs. They're resourceful, stubborn and good with words. It's not much of a surprise that he would hone in on her rather quickly, especially given his prophetic dream about the one who could "best" him.

I'm not particularly happy with the canon outcomes for Raphael. I'm closing my eyes, plugging my ears and going "lalalala." Their dynamic is very fascinating to me, and I wish it could have been explored a little more. Of course, not everyone's Tav/Durge is the same, so I get it from a development standpoint, but it still irks me.

Origins first, as God intended. If I have to pick only one (*sob*), it has to be Sten. Don't get me wrong, I love Alistair and he was my canon Cousland's romance. But as the player, Sten's my guy. I love a strong, silent type who'll talk philosophy with me, so what can I say? Maybe we don't always agree on everything, but that's half the fun of a philosophical debate. It was through talking with him and hearing his thoughts that I started to be interested in the qunari, which wound up causing me pain in DA2, but I don't regret it. Plus, my dude likes art -- truly a man of culture and taste.

It was a little bittersweet at the epilogue, knowing he would return to Par Vollen. Despite the Warden becoming his kadan, if he ever did see any of them again, it would probably be in war. However, they had a mutual respect and the hope that any war would be pushed back beyond their lifetimes.

Honorable mention goes to Nathaniel Howe in Awakening. Although the Warden killed his father, in the end even he could agree that his dad had it coming. Despite the shortness of the story, he actually had a fairly nuanced character arc. It felt especially satisfying to me to have him and my Cousland become friends. Something something, healing of old wounds, something something, found family.

DA2 is probably the hardest for me to pick just one. I loved them all, and all for different reasons. It comes down to a three-way battle between Varric, Fenris and Carver. But, since only one can win, it has to be Fenris. Sorry, sometimes I am just a basic bitch.

The thing I really appreciated, especially in Fenris's rivalmance, was the exploration of trauma and coping. My canon Hawke is a mage, and their relationship really showed how two people can hit each other's vulnerabilities and trauma, but still love and care for each other. It really shone a light on Fenris's character flaws, but also showed him grappling with them. That's how real-life trauma works. It wasn't an immediate "love conquers all" situation. It was a deeply wounded person lashing out and hurting someone they care about (and who cares about them) because that person inadvertently stepped on their trauma. Fenris winds up being very cruel to Hawke at times, which he later regrets, but it was a dysfunctional coping mechanism that he has to unlearn. And that takes time. He screws up, regrets, and tries to do better. Not just once, but many, many times. That's real.

Really, that's the thing that makes him win out for me over Varric. I love Varric, but no matter what happens, he's still Hawke's bestie. They never really have any serious conflict. While that's great for Hawke, it also means we never really get to see Varric's flaws and insecurities in action or have him overcome them. This makes sense, as Varric is the one telling the story -- a story that isn't about him, but it also slightly flattens his character. Carver (and Bethany), on the other hand, never really gets the screen-time to build up their relationships in the same way. I love them both to pieces, but there's so much with them that we never get to see. Really, I wish we could have gone more in-depth with everyone, but I guess that's what fanfic is for.

Inquisition is another game where I could write an essay on every character and, once again, I'mma be a basic bitch. Solas, Solas, Solas, my beloved egg, my problematic fave. Like with Sten, I enjoyed the philosophical bent to his conversations with the Inquisitor. Also, as my canon Inquisitor was a Trevelyan mage who gained his respect, I enjoyed the meta knowledge of how much their friendship was tearing Solas apart.

I liked that, once you know what he is, you can literally see the anguish he experiences as the story goes on as he grapples between what he personally wants and what he has to do to achieve his goals. I find it a satisfying thought-experiment to try to delve into a character's mindset and understand their motivations, and Solas is an interesting character for that. It's a fascinating window into his character to realize that his pride is such that he can't give up on his goals, because to do that would render all he's done and sacrificed to be in vain, and he can't allow that. He's doing it all "for the People", so he can't allow himself to "be selfish" enough to stop, so he condemns himself and tells himself it's noble to martyr himself this way. He's fascinating to me, and I want to pick his brain and study him like a bug.

Second honorable mention goes to Cullen, who is technically a companion, if only briefly. I know Curly is divisive within the fandom*, but I feel like that speaks to the complexity of his character. Personally, I'm glad he's not the unproblematic, idealized love interest. Perfect people in fiction are boring, anyway. Granted, the fans have to fill in a lot of places where BioWare could've handled things better. That said, I do think you can love someone and also be critical of their actions. I think you can care about someone, want them to grow and overcome their traumas and indoctrination, while also pointing out that they've said and done things that were really messed up. Even someone who wants to change can still have subconscious, problematic views that they don't even realize are still affecting them. I wish BioWare had leaned farther into that aspect, actually, instead of trying to smooth things over and make him less problematic.