SIDE NOTE, SPEAKING OF I-RIS
thinking about her and the Hanks had me contemplating which of the Hanks would best handle walking into a room to find a girl crying-- HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER
(please note: all Hanks would handle it as best they could, they wouldn't just up and leave, a Hank would never leave someone hanging like that)
(FOLLOW UP NOTE: that said all the Hanks do panic in this scenario just a liiiiittle bit cause WHOA! Whoa! Whoa. This is a lot for just walking into a room)
OKAY! 👏--
FROM BEST TO WORSE!
Hank 5!-- I feel like Hank 5 just has some natural nurturing energy?? Like he's maybe a bit of the mom friend?? (dad friend??) But yeah-- he finds someone crying and BAM! He's there, he's offering comfort, he's on it! DONE! Go Hank 5!
Hank 2-- So--- I feel like out of all the Hanks, Hank 2 is maybe the most proactive?? Like he's very ON IT problem solving wise?? Especially if it's bad, like--- he's the type to if something catches fire in the kitchen he just slams a pot lid on top of it without even thinking. Like-- he just sort of springs into action, probably without even really meaning to?? That being said, he's probably the second most to be panicking if he found someone alone in a room crying (the first is Hank 4 BUT PUT A PIN IN THAT WE'LL GET TO IT), so he is like--- freaking out a bit, but he's there! He's asking what's wrong, he's grabbing a blanket, he's here to listen, i-it's gonna be chill homie, everything'll be okay!
Hank 1-- I debated putting Hank 3 here, but... yeah we'll get to Hank 3 in a second... BUT FOR HANK 1-- so like, he's the second most proactive Hank of the Hanks. But unlike Hank 2, he's not as panicky about it?? He's a leader, he's proactive, he takes the reigns and rolls with the punches. Now, also unlike Hank 2, he doesn't always have a plan?? Like-- is he sure what he's doing??? Mayhaps! Is he still gonna do it anyway and get on that???? ABSOLUTELY! He's here, he's head strong, probably the least freaked out about the crying of the Hanks-- he's a bro and he's here to kick ass and have backs and he's all out of ass! (Okay, not really, he's got cheek to spare BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HE MEANS)
Hank 3-- So! Hank 3... Hank 3 is a coin flip on top of a coin flip. So the first coin flip is whether or not he will use this as a chance to flirt. And it truly is a coin flip, he's just as likely to use a cheesy line here as to not. If he doesn't, if he takes the high road, reads the room, has a moment of maturity and realizes this is not the time for that-- then he's here, but he doesn't have too too much to offer, at least in terms of words of wisdom or anything. But he's a shoulder to cry on and he really puts on those listening ears, he honestly doesn't say much, just kinda let's you let it all out. ON THE OTHER HAND... if he does take this as a chance to flirt/use a stupid line, then comes in the second coin flip, and that's whether or not the lines lands or flops. If it lands, then he at least made you laugh or smile and we're maybe heading down the road looping back to best case scenario of him just listening as you vent-- IF IT DOESN'T THOUGH.... low key he kinda just made it worse and then I guess comes coin flip 3 where he either excuses himself cause he's making it worse, or you let him stay and he just sits there quietly while you cry and just feels kinda shitty and awkward cause OOPS he made it worse... Fs in chat for Hank 3, our dumb little coin flip
Hank 4-- SO, Hank 4 handles it the worse and lemme tell you why. So first off-- he waltzes into the room-- doesn't even clock that the person already in the room is crying at first. Takes homie a minute. And when he DOES finally clock that you're having a wee little menty breaky--
He just FREEZES. Full stop, deer in a headlight, homie. just. FREEZES.
Cause on the one hand he doesn't know what to do here, but on the other, HE CAN'T JUST LEAVE THEM LIKE THIS OMG?!?!? So he just sort of freezes for a bit, until he finally just-- inches awkwardly towards them. Sits down. Silence. More awkward panicking. Asks you if you wanna talk about it-- regardless of your answer it brings him no relief. If you DON'T then OH SHIT WHAT DOES HE DO NOW?! and if you DO then--FUCK HE WAS EQUALLY UNPREPARED FOR THIS TOO!!! It's so awkward, but he's there for you, and he's trying his best. I think at one point he just ends up hugging you??? CAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO??? Jury's out on if that was the right call or not... yeah... he's trying...
