#i-mean-nevermind

I am still VERY much not okay. also very concerned for how nott is feeling since she has a UH very bad history with being brought back from the dead

she didn’t even seem to realize she had died again! it happened so quickly, she only remembers it insofar as she was picking the lock and then she wasn’t. and i haven’t rewatched the scene but i don’t think - i don’t think anyone in the party actually said you died? like. does she KNOW? are they going to TALK about it?

Oh, very true!! The chorus feels very true to their relationship, especially early on, when they had no idea why the other was The Way They Were, but still supported and loved each other:

“If I kiss you where it's sore/ Will you feel better, better, better?/ Will you feel anything at all/” 

Also... “You're getting sadder [...] and I don’t understand” :( 

(Also sent in for Cassandra!)

HEY. HEY YOU’RE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH

also aksdhgkh to be fair to yuuri, i’m writing him and i’m definitely someone who’s very tactile with friends and when comforting my closest friends i definitely use pet names (”darling”, “honey”, “sweetheart”, and “babe” i can absolutely think of times i’ve used) ksjdhjkg

This is hilarious and sweet, I love it :D

“When you need a compliment/I can rattle off a dozen” 

Is also very true for both of them to each other. 

Ohhhh this is very much Mama Nott-like. I also love:

“I'm gonna take care of things/ There's things I need to sort out/ I'm gonna take care of things/ Cause they're not where I want them right now/ I know there's good in everything/ And it'll show itself when you're gentle to it”

For how she tries to build people up, both for her own purposes and for their own sakes, and how she sees almost infinite good in Caleb and Jester.“Where does my mind go when it gets stupid?” is also… tragic for Nott’s own low self-esteem.

I can already tell this is going to make me emotional :D For the future — if you have more than one song, it’s easiest for me if you put them each in separate asks, because it makes it easier to pause in the middle of answering!

Birdsong strikes me as wonderful for two people healing together:

“Out of the sirens/ Might come the birdsong/ Out of the silence/ Might come the love song/ After the love song/ Might come the sunrise/ After the sunrise/ Might come the silence” 

Additionally, “Waters are rising/ Forests are burning” fits Nott and Caleb’s fear of water and fire respectively.

My Blood really encapsulates how much Nott and Caleb protect each other!!

“Surrounded and up against a wall/ I'll shred 'em all and go with you/ When choices end, you must defend/ I'll grab my bat” 

The chorus of “I'll go with you” reminds me especially of Caleb, in e18, asking Nott if she’d run away with him, and her response.

Man, Hadestown is really phenomenal, eh? I need to listen to the full thing, cause everything from it has blown my mind. All I’ve Ever Known gets me in the feelings for Caleb and Nott being these two lonely, lost people running from the whole world:

“I was alone so long/ I didn’t even know that I was lonely/ Out in the cold so long/ I didn’t even know that I was cold” 

And then finding a friend in the most surprising place, and finding warmth in long nights alone together:

“You take me in your arms/ And suddenly there’s sunlight all around me/ Everything bright and warm/ And shining like it never did before” 

Matt Maeson is my #1 weakness and Cliffy makes me think of Nott, early on in their friendship, knowing acutely that Caleb has been through shit, but having no idea why:

“Oh, so just tell me, are you still hurting?/ And where did you come by all of those burdens?” 

And fuck, “You ain't drowning me out with that alcohol” fits so much for Nott — no matter how much she drinks, she’s not getting any better. 

This is Home captures Nott’s protective instinct: “I'll figure out a way to get us out of here.” I can’t tell whether this verse fits Nott talking about herself or Caleb:

“Get a load of this monster/ He doesn't know how to communicate/ His mind is in a different place/ Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?” 

But either way, I think it works. 

(This Is Home was also sent in for Percy!)

ilomilo is absolutely spot-on for their dynamic — and specifically the way that Nott’s protective of Caleb, but lets him take a big-brother role sometimes.

“I tried not to upset you/ Let you rescue me the day I met you/ I just wanted to protect you” 

I’m Not a Robot has all of Nott’s tenderness for Caleb:

“You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable/ You are not a robot/ You're loveable, so loveable/ But you're just troubled” 

I also think “Can you teach me how to feel real?” fits how their friendship helps Nott feel stable among the chaos of her new body and everything she’s been through. 

(I’m Not a Robot was also sent in for Cassandra!)

Take Yours, I’ll Take Mine captures one aspect of their dynamic, which is Caleb sort of being Nott’s... side kick? I think he’s happy to be her right hand man: “And I'll find mine on the right of your side.”

Whereas Smithereens gets Caleb’s protectiveness, despite him being, uh, weeny:

“For you, I’d go/ Step to a dude much bigger than me [...] For you/ I would get beat to smithereens” 

Also, “I'll be in the corner taking notes” has huge Widogast energy.

Carry You Home is making me cry at the thought of Nott dying and Caleb’s reaction and him bringing her back to Yeza:

“As strong as you were, tender you go/ I'm watching you breathing for the last time/ A song for your heart, but when it is quiet/ I know what it means and I'll carry you home” 

Oh god oh fuck please please please don’t ever let this happen outside of fanfiction.

Are you trying to kill me with Matt Maeson songs? Because it’s working. Dancing After Death has been sent in for Caleb before, but especially for Caleb & Nott, it’s heartbreaking... “Will you fold, or will you remain?”