#i'm a garbage human

Since I was on vacation this weekend, I’m combining my intro and Day 1 post for the @gradblrchallenge. I’m sorry for being late; it seems to be part of my SOP right now and hopefully participating in this challenge helps me with that!

Introduction:

Name: Laura

Location: US

Area/Level of Study: Biomedical Science PhD (6th and final year!)

Subject Area: Novel regulators of skeletal muscle growth and metabolism

What do you hope to accomplish with this challenge: I’d like to restore some motivation and get over some recent inertia both in the lab and in my writing. By the end of the challenge, I’d like to have a solid first draft of my 2nd first-author paper that’s more or less ready to submit, and to have started the series of studies that will make up the backbone of my 3rd first-author paper. There’s a lot of pilot study-type work and model development that needs to be done there, so you’ll see a lot of animal breeding-related goals and a variety of goals related to developing these alternative systems to study this growth phenomenon in my animal model, as well as writing deadlines that I’ll be setting for myself. I’ll also include personal goals along the way, because while work-life balance for me tends to be a little unbalanced, I’ve got some personal projects I’d like to keep up with and personal relationships that I’ve neglected that I’d like to get back to maintaining.

Is this your first #gradblrchallenge: No, I did one in 2017 which really helped me motivate myself to get out of what appears to be a seasonal slump for me.

Places you wish to visit in a near future: Less wish, more just excited about. In November, I’ll finally get to see the Grand Canyon. I’ve been to over half the states and within 100 miles of it before and just never got around to it, so I’m pretty excited. On a more distant-but-still-exciting list is visiting France, where one of my close friends from undergrad is moving in September and one of my close friends from lab is returning in December.

Where do you see you self in five years: Working toward establishing my career in academia, either as a senior postdoc or junior faculty. I know it’s competitive, underpaid, and includes a lot of external pressure and because of that it’s become an unpopular career choice at least among my cohort, but I really enjoy mentoring undergraduates and I enjoy the creative freedom that academia allows in setting your own research goals.

Meaning behind your url: It seemed funny in 2010, and now it’s just my tumblr identity.

A random fact about you: One of my favorite ridiculous hobbies is midnight gardening, and my tomatoes are a source of personal pride.

Day 1/2/Weekly Challenge(s):

On to the challenges I’m setting for tomorrow, which I’m counting as my Day 1 because today was just coming back from vacation:

Read the reviews my PI sent me today and pick out specific studies to read more deeply

Draft new figures for the paper that incorporate data from a different cell line

Set up 7 breedings and update breeding sheet

Compile list of equipment necessary for primary cell isolations

Draft experimental plan/rationale for each and their goals for incorporation into the next paper (to be completed by Friday, partially  based on papers chosen above)

Personal Life: Move large furniture back to house from garage (recent renovations meant everything was moved out of the house for a while, and we can finally move it back in!)

Her hair hung long down her back as she walked ahead of me, the skirt of her dress swishing around her legs. Her voice echoed off of the buildings we passed until she found the water. The smile on her face was wide and I stepped up next to her, holding on to the railing with our hands a few inches apart. 

“I love it down here.” She said softly, taking a deep breath as she looked out on  Lake Mälaren. When she met my eyes, I could see the lights reflected and my head spun. She looked so beautiful, lit up by the glow from the boats, and she turned her back to me, leaning against the banister and looking up at the pale yellow building we stood in front of. “The Dorrister Building. You know they used to hold trials here, way back when.” 

“Really?” 

She shrugged and shot me a grin. “I have no idea.” 

I mimicked her position and looked up, a blush on my cheeks as I chuckled. “You remember our field trip here? We saw the Royal Palace and then snuck away. How angry was Mr. Field?” 

“Oh my god, I thought he was going to kill us!” 

Her eyes closed at the memory, a content smile on her face as the gentle breeze blew around us. I took a deep breath and turned on my heel. “You wanna go for a walk around the lake?” 

She fell in step with me and we made our way along the path, passing a few people on our way who smiled and nodded politely. Our hands brushed and she mumbled an apology, making a point to put some distance between us. It was quite a while before either of us spoke and I looked down at her when she did. 

“Do you miss it here?” I shrugged and she continued, keeping her gaze fixed on the water. “Is it anything like Toronto?” 

“Kind of. Different but, they’re both cities. I mean, Toronto’s nothing like home but... I dunno.” 

“How do you mean?” 

Music had begun to fill the air around us as we weaved around a curve in the path, her eyes widening when we stumbled across a quaint bistro. The patio was filled with people, dining and watching a single man play guitar on a small stage. She stopped in her tracks and looked at me as I stepped up next to her. 

“Well for one, we don’t have anything like this.” 

“Really?” 

A few people looked back at us and I waved a silent apology, leaning against the fence and taking in the music. It was soft, faint as it rolled around us, and I found myself humming along. 

“You know this song?” She’d rose to her tip toes to ask me and her lips brushed my ear, sending a faint shiver down my spine. I cleared my throat and nodded, dropping my head to answer her. 

“La Vie en Rose.” I could see her eyes light up, her smile warming as it came to her, and I leaned back in. “Would you like to dance?” 

She thought for a long moment before nodding, pulling me to one side of the path before setting her hand in mine. My own settled on her lower back and I held her close, her perfume washing over me as we swayed to the music. Her hand was small in mine and I squeezed gently. 

“This is nice. Spending time with you again.” 

“It is.” Her voice was barely above a whisper and she hummed against my chest, setting her head on my shoulder. It seemed surreal, holding her for the first time in so long, feeling like no time had passed since we parted. “I’ve missed you so much William.” 

I leaned down to kiss her forehead and held her tighter, my voice heavy when I spoke again. “I’ve missed you too. So much, Reese. I can’t tell you how many times I thought about you, how much I wanted to call.” 

She looked up with tears in her eyes and my skin warmed. “Why didn’t you?” 

We both stilled, the music fading behind us as the patron’s clapping filled the air. My head was spinning and I reached up to loosen my tie, a blush on her face as she stepped away from me. Her hands fell to her sides and she studied me for a long minute, a single tear slipping down her cheek. I fought the urge to wipe it away, the urge to pull her back into my arms and never let her go, but I just shrugged. 

Her face twisted for a moment, a wistful glance before she shot me a sad smile. 

“We are so bad at this.” I took a deep breath and she continued, shaking her head as the guitar began again behind us. “Just being friends, I mean. Not talking about any of that shit...” 

“Well I don’t think the guitar helped.”