#i don't... know...

Gosh, no, you’re not bothering me! 

I’ll lead this by saying I’m currently sitting around 240 lbs and working very hard on a healthy lifestyle. I have a few reasons for this, and I guess that’s what’d be best to offer you first!

The first really big thing to keep in mind when getting through bad image days and taking on a healthier lifestyle is that you’re doing it for you!! Seriously, fuck anyone else! The body that you have right now is the body you’re going to have in a year, in five years, in ten years, in twenty. It’s YOURS, and NOBODY ELSE’S. If you’re having a hard time feeling out the future, that’s okay! But know that there’s a future you that’s very proud of you.

Following that, the body image you want should be the body YOU want. Healthy, yes, but you define what is best “healthy” for you. If you’re not planning on running a triathlon, why maintain that lifestyle if it doesn’t make you happy? Find something that works for you. (For me, I want to become physically stronger, so I’m hoping to work towards being a boxer! I find lady boxers attractive and would also like to be hot as fuck. The side bonus of looking like someone that shouldn’t be fucked with is a big A+!)

Without knowing what you’re doing as far as a “healthy lifestyle”, I’m not sure what other advice to offer there, so we’ll move on to the “bad image days”.

Pick out an accessory or article of clothing (or a few, if you can!) that is very “you” and wear that on days that you don’t feel so great. For me, I really love cute dresses, plaid shirts, beanies, and silly shaped earrings. 

TAKE SELFIES, I know it seems silly and immature and childish, but that’s only because culture likes to make it shitty. I promise there’s someone out there who’s going to smile to see your photos. Practice taking pictures! Find good angles! Take pictures with different smiles, in different outfits, in different lighting, with your favorite stuffed animal, with a popsicle that you bought yourself at lunch, after you spot that cute stranger on the street, while you’re waiting in a line. You don’t have to post these, but just getting used to seeing your face in different ways helps. This may be hard at first. That’s totally fine.

Treat yourself kindly! A day is a day. Sometimes they’re going to be bad ones. Give yourself permission to have them. Shrug and say to yourself “I guess today is a bad body image day”. Find an opportunity to do something nice for yourself. This is also going to be hard at first. That’s also totally fine.

Don’t hesitate to try something new that you think you can’t manage. A few years ago, I wouldn’t have pictured myself as someone with a alternative cut, and now I have a really fucking cute curly alternative cut. If it doesn’t work for you, you can almost always go back.

Carve out your aesthetic and lock that shit in. Change it as much as you want. Own it. Love it. Make shitty jokes about it. It’s honestly so liberating.

I have a lot of good memories. And when I'm feeling upset over something, I gravitate to those memories. I replay them in my head and remember how happy I was during that time. It helps me cope with things, helps me smile when I don't really feel like smiling.

Unfortunately, I remember a lot of bad memories, too. And sometimes they unintentionally come creeping back into my head to torment me, to remind me of failures, mistakes, embarrassments, and other such things I wish I could have undone.