#hydrodistention

I'm having surgery tomorrow, and I'm not feeling well today, so my blog is going to be really inactive for the next few days. Just bear with me on this, I'll get back to queuing up posts and other antics as soon as I feel up to it.

I’m so metal I’m pissing blood right now.

Basically, I had a bladder infection 3 years ago and recurring UTIs since and just general constant discomfort/pain since. Frequent bathroom breaks, sex has been very painful, et cetera. Lots of no fun. They tried physical therapy with me because they thought maybe my discomfort was being caused by a condition called Pelvic Floor Muscle Dysfunction. Usually it happens in the opposite way than what they thought might be going on with me. Typically, it causes incontinence for older people because their pelvic floor muscles aren’t tightening properly. For me, they thought it might be the opposite where the muscles were always too tight, causing discomfort and UTI-esque symptoms.

Well, a few months of that went by and didn’t seem to really help and they started to wonder if it was perhaps a condition called Interstitial Cystitis. In simple terms, it means I have a highly sensitive bladder which causes me constant discomfort. Problem is, you pretty much can’t diagnose it without doing the procedure I underwent today, which is called Cystoscopy with Hydrodistention and Biopsy. Basically they take nice pictures of the inside of my bladder, fill my bladder with water as full as they can, drain it, take more pictures, and take some samples for biopsy.

During the hydrodistention part, the inner wall of my bladder “cracked” (weird word choice but that’s what my doctor called it) which basically means that it was starting to split in multiple places and when the water was drained, all those “cracks” started to bleed. Hence the pissing blood part. It’s a little disconcerting, but apparently it’s okay so long as the blood doesn’t seem to be clotted.

In my case, Interstitial Cystitis occurred because the bladder infection I had 3 years ago basically tore up my bladder, then my urine would continue to damage my bladder after the infection itself had mostly cleared up. It probably also made me more susceptible for the recurring infections that I had, which would just compound the damage. Unfortunately, there is no true “cure” to IC, but rather lifelong treatment. I have to take a medication to sooth and coat the inside of my bladder which may also be coupled with a mild antidepressant that happens to work efficiently to reduce neurogenic inflammation (which in itself might be a good thing to take because maybe it’ll also be able to help me with my actual depression without having to deal with my parents about seeing a psychiatrist et cetera).

In any case, I guess this is just another step towards being able to feel normal again. Besides the pissing blood part.

i will say that the medicine they gave me to help me relax shortly before administering the anesthesia? holy fucking shit was i relaxed. i could feel it coursing through my body, like i was just... melting with relaxation and this feeling that everything was okay. it was so good.

there were some problems with my heart rate after i woke up - apparently it was really high, and it wouldn't go down until the pain and anxiety dulled. i didn't notice anything unusual myself, though, and they asked me if my heart was always racing like that. i never gave much thought to it, but i am almost always in pain and/or anxious, so the answer was yes. how about that.