”Am I who you think about in bed?” xo, s.
PANIC! AT THE DISCO LYRICS SENTENCE MEME - still open!
dear soojung,
i remember when you asked me that and i said you already knew the answer to that question. illicit, between each other in the confines of our own hellish secrets. we were always so good at that sort of thing weren’t we? you always know how to have me in your clutches.
when i think of other women, it mirages into you so effortlessly. you’re so selfish. it has me succumbing to that choking, drowning touch - but you knew that already too.
even when you have another man you need my affections to sedate you -- to fill complete. why don’t you admit it? your need to ‘bury me ten feet deep into hell’ is more than how you say it is. -does your lover make you feel this need? this profound need? i doubt it.
as i’m writing this to you i think of this song by flume named “say it” and i pathetically think of you.
you and the bed we used to press each other’s bodies with hands on throats, hands. how you always have me coming back, thinking of you and the bed. always, always, always, always always...
you should listen to it, i hope you think of me because i know no being on earth could reciprocate such suffocation. this suffocation of feeling. i hate you.
i doubt you know what suffocation feels like, in the physical sense i doubt it very much and because you lack that touch (which i’ve blessed you on your bed for hours). it’s clings onto every particle of oxygen in your system and your body heats and there is little comprehension of anything that truly makes sense but death. that your lungs feel infected and shrouded with nothing.
i tell you this in sheer possibility that you’re pretty nymph heart pounds at least once for me again. it seems to me i have steered astray and even the remembrance of the smell of your hair craves for a proper course. seems to me, i’ve fallen into the literate trope of losing myself in you.
i’d very much like to have myself back.
how dare you have another man when i can’t tear my eyes off you?
this is the last moment of sensitivity for you, sehun.
p.s: there are more words to give but it seems to me my chest is pounding without a care for my sanity i’m afraid.
p.p.s: don’t take anything i said above with heart, it is a moment of pure character flaw it will not happen again.
