#hyaloidic

If anyone in this wide and terrible world really knows him--his motivations and reasons; his heart--Tao has no doubt it’s Asmee. Even more than Marcus, Asmee knows him. And it’s nights like this that prove it to him.

They’re sitting shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the woods, passing a fifth of vodka back and forth after filling in a deep, smoking grave that hadn’t been there earlier in the day. It’s quiet for a long time--the agreeable sort of silence you could sit in for hours and never grow tired off. And maybe they do just that. It’s easy to lose track of the time when there are more pressing matters in mind.

Asmee stands first, taking the bottle from Tao--who’d stopped passing it back an hour and a half ago--as she does so, and she offers him a hand; pulls him up; supports him as the crushing fatigue of his last mission sets in alongside his half-drunkeness.

She knows that he doesn’t do this for fun. She knows he’s not in it for the thrill of the kill, or the righteousness of fury. Unlike Marcus, Asmee can see past the role he’s built up to make this job tolerable to him. And while she’s never said as much, Tao knows that’s what’s kept her at his side when so many of the others--the original gang--had left him.

Before he can protest, Asmee’s pushing him into the passenger seat of the car, tucking his long legs inside the cab before pulling back just enough to look at him. She smooths an errant strand of hair from his face; lays a gentle kiss over his temple; says the words:

          “One must be cunning and wicked in this world.”

—               SHE STRUGGLES WITH deep conversations.  she never knows the right thing to say.  it doesn’t help that what usually comes out is whatever first comes to mind.  and that usually isn’t good, or helpful, sometimes it comes off even a little bit rude;  an accident of course, but sometimes rude none the less.     ❝ well that’s stupid. ❞     yep.  rude.  oops. 

she stops, pause, stares out into the ocean, then starts again, trying to find the words to express what she means.     ❝ you can always find your way to happiness.  ya jus’ gotta get yourself away from whatever’s makin’ you so sad. ❞ 

she’s still staring at the water, almost hypnotized.  her mind slips, goes back to a place she doesn’t want to remember.  mick, the freakshow, the gawking audiences, the utter hopelessness of it all.  then she ran away.  people got hurt, but the road to happiness is paved with selfish actions and corrie was nothing is not selfishly acting.     ❝ you owe yourself happiness, you gotta act on gettin’ it, no matter what. ❞ 

    “oh, you have fish!”