SHARP TEETH SHARP TEETH SHARP TEETH

‘ i refuse to listen to reason, i have to listen to so much already. ’

‘ if i was famous i would just knock on people’s doors and be like hello, yes, it’s me. ’

*eats a snack while looking for a better snack*

‘ taking a nap is always so risky like when will i wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 3 years? ’

‘ i’m wiping the slate clean, so i have somewhere to spill all the blood of everyone who has ever wronged me. ’

‘ horrified that other people have decided to leave their house tonight. ’

‘ to me, the cookie jar is the modern day treasure chest, and you don’t have to brush off  any skeletons to get to it. ’

‘ my morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired i am.  ’

‘ grab your own butt. love yourself. ’

‘ on the moon if you don’t like something you can just throw it upwards into space. on earth if you try to do that the enemy known as gravity gets in the way. ’

‘ my stress stresses me out to the point where i’m too stressed to deal with my stress. ’  

‘ don’t worry, password. i’m insecure too. ’

‘ i should have thought about that? you know i don’t think about things. ’

‘ when you live the bart life you say ‘whoa, mama’ to the good and ‘ay, caramba’ to the bad. ’

‘ i got 99 problems but i’m gonna take a nap and ignore them all. ’ 

‘ i love the sound you make when you shut the fuck up. ’

‘ everything’s my fault when you just look at the facts and information. ’  

‘ why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone. ’    

‘ do you like bad boys? ‘cause i’m bad at everything. ’

‘ i never argue. i just explain why i’m right. ’

‘ if robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, i’d just laugh and search with them. ’  

‘ if your family members share one of those articles about how millennials can’t do anything right, consider countering by sharing the page of a below average nursing home or even just a photo of bones with the caption: sooner than you think. ’

‘ yeah, baby, i am an animal in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day. ’  

‘ can i sell my feelings on ebay. i don’t want them anymore. ’

‘ coffee is just baby formula for adults. ’ 

‘ i think i speak for all of us, just in general. ’  

‘ i get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions. ’

‘ can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? ’

‘ do not beef shame me. ’

‘ later is the best time to do anything. ’

‘ trying to decide if i should spend my evening reading a book or browsing social media for two hours in stomach churning guilt while thinking about how i should read a book. ’

‘ if you cannot handle me at my worst, that is fine. i am a powerful and terrifying thing and all should live in fear. ’

‘ people pretending to be cats is fine and cool but if some sort of huge animal wanted to pretend to be people then everyone is all, ‘please leave the bank’. ’

‘ are you bad wifi ‘cause i’m feeling no connection here. ’

‘ in the mood for a hug and 69 chicken nuggets. ’

‘ some times you spend so much time getting revenge you forget about getting retribution. ’  

‘ never underestimate yourself. but also do not overestimate yourself, that’s bad too. ’

‘ you will never be a billionaire but there’s still time to see what they taste like. ’  

‘ i don’t say this to everyone but i will barn shuffle dance on your grave. ’

‘ they will never do a live action reboot of your childhood. ’

‘ i could learn a thing or two from this? thanks for the warning, i will avoid it. ’

‘ you would think that wouldn’t you, always with your thinking things. that’s what separates me from you, the thinking. ’

‘ i’m putting free wifi on my gravestone so people will come visit me. ’

‘ sea shells, or the beach’s potato chips, are free to anyone who can find them. ’  

‘ learning is the fool’s errand. ’

part one here. 

❝ I’m a stupid fart. ❞

❝ Shit I wanted to be Yoshi. ❞

❝ Does Bruno Mars is gay? ❞

❝ I ain’t above punching rats! ❞

❝ Finally, I can water my pizza. ❞

❝ I hate you, [ name ]! What have you turned me into?! ❞

❝ That’s a one way ticket to FUCK YOU. ❞

❝ You think I came out the pussy drawing fuckin’ Mozart? ❞ 

❝ Aw I’m so tired I could fucking eat a gazelle. ❞  

❝ You are uninvited for my birthday party. ❞

❝ At age six I was born without a face. ❞

❝ I’m a sexy widdle baby.❞

❝ You’re hard to love, but you’re harder to hate. ❞

❝ The tears are bittersweet but the pie is delicious. ❞

❝ Taco bell can cure diabetes. You can quote me on that. ❞

❝ Matter cannot be created or destroyed, you stank bitch. ❞

❝ I’d fistfight literally any penguin you put in front of me. ❞

❝ I still want to be your friend, even if you’re not a dinosaur. ❞

❝ Don’t fucking cock tease me, broseph. ❞

❝ Goddamn fucking wolf asshole piece of shit. ❞

❝ Being a spider looks like it FUCKING RULES. ❞ 

❝ First of all I’m not a child, I’m a princess. ❞

❝ Don’t count your chickens before they egg. ❞

❝ My butt is clenched as tight as it will go. ❞

❝ Extra! Extra! Read all about it! [ name ] SUCKS! ❞

❝ Don’t jump into a guy’s knife. It will kill you dead. ❞

❝ I’m always right. Except when I’m wrong…which is often. ❞ 

❝ If I was a hundred percent honest with myself then shit would suck.  ❞

❝ I am not physically good at anything. Except yelling a lot. ❞

❝ I’ve got reeses pieces. But I’m dead so they’re deceases’s pieces.  ❞ 

❝ If there’s two things I’m down with, it’s hating tomatoes and the sickness. ❞

❝ A woman’s drinking poison, wh- uh wuh how, why, eh, she dies, wh-why did she die? Show your work. ❞

❝ My goal is to pee in every major body of water on Earth. ❞

❝ I’m gonna fuckin’- I’m gonna open hand slap you across the eyes. ❞

❝ Step on him. Step on him and crush him. Mail the remains to his family. ❞

❝ You say ‘tomato’, I say ‘what the fuck are you doing in my house? ❞

❝ You know what really brings me closer to my friends? Ass fucking. ❞

❝ Do you think if you urinate and pre-cum at the same time it’s pre-pre? ❞

❝ You can’t open up the story of my life and just fucking go to page 738 and think you know me.  ❞

❝ Ronald McDonald doesn’t make me wanna eat a hamburger. He makes me wanna call the police. ❞

❝ One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, am I right? Your life is my treasure. And it was trash for you. Your life is trash is basically what I’m saying. ❞

❝ Are you fucking with me right now? I feel like someone’s getting fucked with and I think its me all of a sudden. ❞

❝ Every titty is unique and special. And I don’t mean every PAIR of titties, I mean every titty. ❞

❝ I’m having like a silent, mental breakdown. That being said I’m cool with death now. ❞

❝ I like butts in general. I was gonna say I like big butts, but I just like all the butts. And boobs. And faces. I like the female form. ❞ 

❝ Someone asked me what my idea of the perfect date to take a girl/guy on was, and I was like “Well…” I was like ‘I don’t know, I guess we could just, fuckin’, wander around Whole Foods long enough that we could get enough cheese samples, then we could call it a night.  ❞

Chris Austin Art on Instagram

lyric starters from marina and the diamonds’ “froot” album .   

always feel free to change pronouns!

001.   ❛  couldn’t relax    ,    couldn’t sit back  .   ❜

002.   ❛  i sang a hymn to bring me peace   .    ❜

003.   ❛  it made me feel like i belonged  .  ❜

004.   ❛  i found what i’d been looking for in myself  .  ❜

005.   ❛  never thought that i could be i could be happy  .  ❜

006.  ❛   i haven’t found the one for me  .   ❜

007.   ❛  i believe in possibility  !   ❜

008.   ❛  this ain’t my first time at the rodeo   .    ❜

009.   ❛  good things come to those who wait  .   ❜

010.   ❛  babe   ,  i love you a lot  .  ❜

011.   ❛   oh     ,     my body is ready now   !    ❜

012.   ❛   i’m in love  .  ❜

013.   ❛   without you  ,  i’m afraid i’ll fall  .  ❜

014.   ❛   i could treat you better but  ,  i’m not that smart  .  ❜

015.   ❛   it’s difficult to say goodbye  .   ❜

016.   ❛   it doesn’t feel right and it doesn’t feel fair  .  ❜

017.   ❛   i don’t think you like the fact that i beat your test  . ❜

018.   ❛   i’ll ruin you  . ❜ 

019.   ❛   we’ve broken up and now i regret it  . ❜

020.   ❛   i can’t forget it  .  ❜

021.   ❛   gimme love  ,  gimme dreams  ,  gimme a good self esteem   !  ❜

022.   ❛   let’s do it one last time  .   ❜

023.   ❛   no  ,  i don’t love you  .  ❜

024.   ❛   i’m bored of everything we do but  ,  i just keep coming back to you   .  ❜

025.   ❛   sometimes i think i’m not that strong  .  ❜

026.   ❛   i can’t forgive and i can’t forget  .  ❜

027.   ❛   yeah  ,  i’ve been dancing with the devil   .  ❜

028.   ❛   i’ve had enough  ,  i’m breaking free  .  ❜

029.   ❛   you’ve got it in the palm of your hands !  ❜

030.   ❛   what i love can’t be bought or sold  .  ❜

031.   ❛   don’t think i want what i used to want  .  ❜

032.   ❛   but whatever happens  ,   i’ll be okay  .   ❜

033.   ❛   do you think i’m stuck up  ?  ❜

034.   ❛   do you really want me to write a feminist anthem  ?    ❜

035.   ❛   i’m happy cooking dinner in the kitchen for my husband  .  ❜

036.   ❛   you think i’m like the others  ,  boy  ,  you need to get your eyes checked  !  ❜

037.   ❛   i could be your mother  !  ❜

038.   ❛   do you like my body ?   ❜

039.   ❛   i’m obsessed with silence  .  ❜

040.   ❛   i’m happy to be on my own  .  ❜

041.   ❛   i’ll admit all i wanna do is get drunk and silent  .  ❜

042.   ❛   you’re just another in a long line of men she screwed  !   ❜

043.   ❛   you can do better than that  .  ❜

044.   ❛   i know that you’re not to blame  .  ❜

045.   ❛   i know a little too much but i’ll never tell .  ❜

046.   ❛   it’s survival of the fittest  ,  rich against the poor  .  ❜

047.   ❛   humans aren’t gonna behave as we think we always should  .  ❜

048.   ❛   i’m not the only one who finds it hard to understand  .  ❜

049.   ❛   we live  ,  we die  ,  we steal  ,  we kill  ,  we lie  .  ❜

051.   ❛   when you love somebody  ,  they’ll always leave too soon  .  ❜

052.   ❛   i wanna mean something to somebody else  .  ❜

053.   ❛   everybody dies  .  ❜

054.   ❛   i don’t want to be afraid to die  .  ❜

you on your way. just keep going. 

i love you. you don’t have to say it back, though.

look, sometimes people drift apart. and i don’t want that to happen to us, okay?

this is my fault.

our family doesn’t run from things.

i don’t think you have a choice, kiddo.

look, call me when you can. okay? i love you.

we all have powers.

you’ve got to say “i love you” back.

got a lot going through your head, i’m sure. you’re gonna be fine.

hey, bud. you okay?

please open the door. (name), i can see your shadow moving around.

i’ll always have my family.

i’m sorry. i can’t do this without you.

hey, it’s okay. we’re gonna figure it out.

they’re counting on me.

you can’t think about saving the world. you have to think about saving one person.

of course you can stay.

i see this spark in you. it’s amazing. it’s why i push you, but… it’s yours. whatever you choose to do with it, you’ll be great.

i let you down, man, i let you down.

mom, i’ve gotta go.

yeah, i’m okay. you’re probably busy, so…

how am i supposed to save the whole world?

(name), you’re gonna get yourself killed.

can i sleep here tonight?

that’s all it is, (name). a leap of faith.

look, i know i don’t always do what you need me to do. or say what you need me to say, but i’m… i see this spark in you. it’s amazing. it’s why i push you, but… it’s yours. whatever you choose to do with it, you’ll be great.

one thing i know for sure: don’t do it like me. do it like you. 

i wanna do what you asked. i really do. i’m sorry.