“Gon, you see what the indicator says,” Pokkle said, eyes firm but full of sorrow, at this point everyone knew everyone else intimately like family. “He is infected.”

Outside, somewhere above them, a chimera cry screeched like glass, sending a skittering of fear down Killua’s spine, ebbed by the fact he was still safe in their community bunker. For now anyway. The cry was right on time, tragically hilarious as though as reminder of the vicious monster Killua will soon turn into. The glaring danger they’ve all worked hard to protect and hide each other from. If Killua is going to turn into that, the answer on what to do next is obvious.

“No!” Gon’s voice boomed, his frame blocking most of Killua’s center from any shots the 6 guns pointing back in response to Gon’s one might do. Gon’s voice was adament in resolution, but Killua could hear how it shook. What he was scared of now, there must be a landry list Killua could only guess. He wished he could turn Gon around and ease him as he’s done a thousand times before. “Killua won’t turn into that. He won’t.” Gon’s head moved a fraction of an inch, as though he wanted to turn his head and check on Killua himself, but Gon definitely knows better than to take his eyes off who was in front of him. Killua knows them just as well not to make any sudden movements despite still being a sentient human, not a merciless chimera just yet.

“Gon, every instance we have ever had of someone being infected never results in anything other than them becoming a murderous chimera. You remember that last instance with Reina, and what happened afterwards was a disaster. You agreed for the best of everyone’s interest was to never let anything like that happen again.” Pokkle said, and pointedly looked up at their screening device behind them. It had two lights at the top, black marker written over the bulbs, human over the green light and ‘chimera’ over the red light. The one that was lit up now once Killua ran through diagnostics.

Gon’s arm holding the gun shook as though he was fighting against logic and his emotions. Only Killua’s eyes moved as he carefully regarded the back of Gon’s head, and gods he wished he could see what face he was making, figure out what he was thinking with just a glance in his eyes. They were close enough that they could practically read each other’s minds.

“That was different! THIS is different- Killua- it was never suppose to happen to someone I know!” Gon said, his voice raw and heartbreaking with emotion. “It was never suppose to happen to Killua.” Gon said, his voice gravelly low and Killua knew he was crying. Killua only allowed himself a small intake of emotion charged breath, still keeping with his self preservation instinct to be a still and unthreatening statue. He barely had time to let the knowledge of what this meant for himself- slowly losing his mind to a sickness that will cause him to kill anything that moves outside fellow chimeras (no, no killing, not again), Killua’s heart instead was breaking for Gon. Gon would at least still have his mind, left alone to long after Killua while Killua won’t remember a thing about Gon. He will lose his best friend, his everything, to a rampant pandemic creating half animal powerful monsters.

Pokkle’s eyes watered in a snap moment and a tear fell loose at Gon’s insistence. Killua didn’t dare his heart to flutter with something as dangerous as hope at the look in his eyes. Pokkle glanced left and right at the guards training their guns steadily on the two bunker valuable agents, and frowned, shaking his head as thought he only know just saw what was happening.

“G-Gon…” Pokkle’s voice broke and Killua saw Gon’s shoulders drop a fragment. It caused the tight coil in Killua’s chest to unwind a smidge in turn. “What would you have me do? He’s a danger to everyone here if he stays, he’s another dangerous number if we let him go. There is no cure yet. What would you have me do?” Pokkle sounds as stuck and shaken as Gon. Pokkle has his own burdens, his own people he needs to protect- and the one willing to make the most brutal of decisions to do that. Ponzu, Killua wondered if Pokkle was thinking what he would do in Gon’s shoes if it was his life partner Ponzu that triggered the chimera indication.

“Let us go.” Gon said. Us, he said. Not Killua.

“Gon…” Killua dared to speak for the first time since that terrible moment after his diagnosis, a panicked warning in his voice.

“Gon, that’s-” Pokkle started too, his eyes hardening again.

“Let us go!” Gon said again, louder and more determined, and Killua knows that tone. He’s been on the receiving end of Gon’s stubborn mind before. “I’m not leaving Killua and I’m not letting you kill him. We leave the bunker, you can keep everyone safe, and I’ll bring us as far away from here as possible so there won’t be a chance he can attack our usual patrols and scavenging spots.” Gon said, his voice resolute like he held the simple answer to everything. Pokkle’s frown eased but Killua was still beside himself. More so now that Pokkle seemed to be considering it.

“Gon, that’s a death sentence. You go with Killua, then when he changes, he’ll kill you. If you don’t die to the other chimera before or after.” Pokkle argued. If Killua didn’t know they would shoot him on the spot for it, he would jump forward in front of Gon and shake him by the shoulders and tell him there was no snowball;s chance in hell he was letting Gon do this.

“I…” Gon paused and seemed to have trusted he made enough progress with Pokkle to turn his head enough to meet Killua’s burning glare with one of his eyes, then back to the guard detail. “I love Killua. I don’t want this for him. If I need to, if he asks me to, if it comes down to it-” Gon said.

“That’s a lot of if’s Gon.” Killua hissed, livid.

“I’ll put him down myself. But I want to be with him.” Gon said, letting out a shaky breath, his shoulder’s tension finally loosened up. Killua bit his lip, a sharpened fang piercing his skin (was his teeth always this sharp?) and he made eye contact with Pokkle. He put as much pleading as he could into his eyes and shook his head slowly. Silently begging Pokkle to force Gon to let him go. If not just with a bullet through his head, at least to leave the bunker but to keep Gon here. Pokkle has dealt with Gon and Killua often as they are the number one agents to go out for scavenge and come back with the most results with the least possible setbacks or injuries. Pokkle knows Killua doens’t show a lot of emotion often, or even vulnerability, so he hoped Pokkle saw now that he was desperate as he poured his will to make sure tey stick to protocol. Eliminate infecteds. Keep the majority safe.

Even if Killua goes, the bunker still has a good bet with Gon helping to provide.

Pokkle took in his look and then regarded Gon. He closed his eyes, breathing in deep, and Killua knew he was about to make one of those brutal hard decisions.

“Fine. You both go.” Pokkle answered with a set eyes, eyes still glossy.

“What?!” Killua cried out, straightening up more as Gon sagged in relief before straightening up again and nodding, all business like he was given a package to deliver to an ally community. “Pokkle, you can’t be serious! I’m screwed but you have to save Gon! You can’t let him do this!” Killua said, and took his first step forward since he stepped out the machine. The guard’s guns raised again in alarm just as Gon turned and shoved a crooked arm into Killua’s to drag them back out past the machine.

“Gods bless.” Pokkle frowned, sad with a tragic frown as he watched Gon use his superior strength to muscle Killua out. Hah, he didn’t know tragic, if Killua ever got back here and got his hands on Pokkle, he was going to show him tragedy.

“Pokkle! Bring Gon back- He can’t stay out there with me! Gon-!” Killua cried and realized he was talking to the wrong idiot, because that idiot was only doing what this other idiot wants. “/Gon!/” Killua hissed, tripping over his own feet at the pace Gon was dragging him backwards. But it didn’t matter, he might as well have been being carried by Gon. “Gon, stop please, you can’t come with me! I’m sorry I was careless and I got infected but this isn’t your purgatory to deal with! Go back, please, we don’t know how this transmits, you could still be clean. Let me go and tell them you change your mind please..!” Killua cried, trying to find his footing to give Gon some kind of resistance but they were already up the stairs, the light of the door illuminating them. Killua barely recognized his voice as his own, it was pitched high in panic and desperation, and he was started to feel a rising frenzy in his chest to lash out and stop what’s happening, to protect his best friend. “Gon, at least look at me!” Killua’s voice cracked in a screech.

Gon stopped before they exited out to the decrepit streets above and whipped his head to glare at Killua. Killua’s chest pierced with cold  shock as he sucked in a gasp and whatever words he was going to say. Gon’s face was contorted between rage and grief, tears streaks still on his face from when he was presumably crying in front of Pokkle moments before. His lips were pulled back showing gnashed teeth and sucking in gasping breaths, probably from exertion having to haul Killua physically up stairs while he was struggling against him. And Killua could see through everything, something he sees in Gon rarely and yet much too often, an emotion Killua always wants to wipe away from Gon’s face and bolster his strength- it mirrored what Killua felt in this moment. 

Gon was terrified.

“/Don’t/…” Gon hissed, lowering his face closer to Killua, rage burning in those eyes. “Ask me something as impossible as that.” Killua pressed his lips together, his chest burning with so many emotions.

Now he knows why Pokkle let Gon go.

“Gon…” Killua whispered and he noted the wobble to Gon’s lip. Killua frowned, his heart hurt. He slowly shook his head. “I love you too…” He answered Gon’s earlier confession. They’ve never said it to each other before. Gon’s eyes widened, softer more liquid emotion pour into his eyes. Killua only took a breath before they were back on the same wavelength with each other, as always, and their lips were smashed together and their tongues delved into each other’s desperately, selfishly. They don’t know how long Killua has or if this will be the last time they can kiss like this. Killua’s chest roared with emotion and nearly overwhelmed him, but soon the ones that overcame every other emotion was love and affection for Gon. He was ruined and probably obsessed, and Killua realized Gon was probably the same way. Even if Gon stayed, he was as good as a liability, completely useless to the community as he either self destructed or lashed out and isolated himself from everyone after Killua left or died. The brutal decision Pokkle made was cutting down the community efficiency in half letting go both halves of the power agents.

Killua could barely process to feel bad for pokkle and the rest of the community when he just felt overwhelming relief that this terrible curse won’t be spent by himself but he’ll have his best friend to go through it with. They parted with heated, tentative pants. Killua’s etched Gon’s face into his very precious memory as Gon looked at him with those beautiful eyes he fell in love with.