Jun 29
the concept of someone loving me for the totality of who I am is something my mind reflexively rejects as fantasy. if someone loves me it must be because they imagine me to be better than I am. they see the shadow I cast on the wall, a photograph out of context, a single side of a dodecahedron. whichever side of me reflects their desires back at them. they love the shell, they love the performance, not the scared, foolish creature within. and usually that's enough. the idea that someone could comprehend all sides of me, perceive every layer individually and all at once and still love the whole... that just sounds like a childish flight of fancy to me. a foolish dream that is altogether far too unrealistic to strive for.
