It isn’t.

More like Safety Third, 100% of the time.

That’s still the top 5, though, so it could definitely be worse.

I wanna know if I can do the thing, surviving isn’t the point. Somebody’ll probably find my notes and figure out how to survive later, ‘cause the difference between dumb stuff and science is just writing the weird stuff down when you do it.

What if humanity making strides is their favorite thing that’s always trending?

Like, human progress is generally their favorite program, and every so often when the humans build a new and enormous building, develop a new craft, dive deeper into the ocean, send something else out into space… the “Look But Don’t Touch” rule is really, really strong and really, really annoying because humans are so fun!

Look at them!

What if we’re still cruel and spiteful, and warring constantly against each other, horrible and despicable… what if they find us at our worst?

What if we react with wary show of force, every weapon primed, just a minute ago pointed at our own brethren, then pointed to the sky almost as one, like cornered animals baring their teeth.

What if the first thing the aliens see is the worst humanity has to offer?

What if our first greeting is full of fear and grim resolve? Because what outsider would come to us in peace? What outsider would remain willing to speak to us after they see how horrible we can be to each other, after they see it takes an existential threat to make us stop killing each other?

But what if they do?

And what if that’s what wins them over?

What if, in the galaxies, humans are unique in that we will band together in the face of a common enemy, even if we’ve all just been fighting.

Like, with the idea of a collective memory, of species being wary of each other, especially if they’ve been fighting, humans are an interesting one because they consistently look at historically dangerous creatures that have killed, mauled, eaten, and hunted humans and go, “You know, I bet I could get one to be nice to me if I’m nice first.”

Humans especially do it with each other! All of human history is plumb-full of humans fighting and doing horrible things to each other for the lamest reasons. We fight, go down nasty, and then get up and go about life again and be civil.

Like, yeah we’d get in fights in space too, but we also know how to end fights and get over it. And do so remarkably quickly too. Within a single human lifetime, even.

***

Alien: “Human George, were your species not warring with the Romulan species not two solar cycles ago?”

Human: “Yeah, we were, but that’s over now. I’m teachin’ him our warp configuration, just like anybody else cycling into my department.”

Alien: “…”

Alien: “Your species were at war for many hundreds of your life-cycles…”

Human: “We made peace an’ all, so I guess we just gotta’ learn to live in the same galaxy. It’s not a huge deal. We’re cool now. And if it helps ya’, Faroosh never did anything against me, so I don’t have anything to hold personally against him. See? Can’t stay mad forever, especially if you’ve both agreed to give peace a decent shot.”

Alien: “Is that not difficult to forget that your species have killed each other almost from the moment they first met?”

Human: “Some folks probably have a harder time with it, the ones who personally took losses and haven’t recovered from that. Which is okay! I don’t mind, it’s understandable. But all of us can’t just be enemies forever. It’s not worth it. Besides, humans fight with each other all the time, all over our history, but we get along pretty okay now. I guess it’s like that. We just gotta’ give everybody a chance.”

Alien: “…”

Alien: “Most interesting.”

Alien: “WAIT!!! You are teaching him your Warp configuration????? Why?! This cannot be wise!”

Human: “…” (uber-chill human, totally not comprehending)

So, I've read lots of times in fanfiction and 'official' stories alike, that someone is fumbling behind their back to close a bra.

And so I wonder, how do people (anyone who's willing to answer this, basically, see, it's all scientific or something...) generally put on their bras? Because the way I do it, absolutely no fumbling at all is required and I don't understand if there are different bras where that doesn't work or if there's something else I'm missing.