#hugeboy

“I’m glad you messaged me last night.” He stretched, his back flexing just barely visible under his loose shirt, before turning and kneeling to look at me.

He was quiet for a moment before continuing.

“You’re not the only one having difficulties with this. I don’t want to put my troubles on you but,” he sighed heavily, “I am working to protect you.”

I didn’t know what to say. He had said similar things before, but each time felt wrong somehow.

“Ji-yah… I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, moving to stand up, “I guess we’re both in the dark here.”

I couldn’t get back to sleep after he left. I felt weak and ashamed. The previous night’s calls weighed on me, like most calls made after midnight tend to do, even before considering international charges.

Not that I really had time to be dwelling on things past. I had received a voicemail from Chul. They needed some confessional style roll, so I had to be ready for an impromptu series of interviews. Coffee made, clothes simple, face clean, I was as prepared as I could be when Chul arrived.

“Change of plan,” Chul greeted me. He quickly moved into the suite, followed by a team of six people carrying large stacks of blue plastic. They quickly set about unfolding the plastic to reveal that they actually carried boxes.

“What’s going on?”

In lieu of an answer, Chul simply took my arm and directed me towards the bedroom.

“Do you have a face mask? Sunglasses? You should cover up as much as possible.”

“Chul!” I shook him off my arm, watching as the people with him efficiently pack up my belongings. “What’s going on?”

“There’s a security issue. We’ll explain later. Right now we just have to move you. All of you.”

It was alarming, to be sure. But Chul was easily the most trustworthy person I had met so far, so I didn’t question it. I quickly grabbed a mask, a hat, and sunglasses, and threw a few essentials into a tote.

“Is everyone okay?”

“Everything is fine. We just need to go.”

Once ushered into the hallway, I was met with a team of three security officers. Two women and a man, all three looking overly serious.

“This way,” the man gestured towards the emergency stairs. This probably wasn’t quite in line with what the designers had imagined as being an emergency, but I didn’t stop to think about it too hard.

I tried to question Chul again on the way down the stairs, but a combination of worry and keeping his breath stalled conversation. Once we reached the bottom I was hurried to a slightly dingy looking older model Renault. I was positioned between the two female security officers in the back seat while Chul took the front passenger seat and the male officer took the driver’s seat.

An overlong drive later, we pulled into YG’s headquarters. I was quickly ushered through hallways, brushing by a few familiar and unknown faces as we moved along. Eventually, I found myself in a meeting room, alone save for Chul and one of the female officers.

“Chul-ah?”

“Just wait, Luna. We’ll wait for the others.”

Feeling chastened, I took a seat on one side of the table.

Chul ran a hand over his face.

“Sorry. Somebody got into one of the men’s rooms last night.”

I felt my face blanch.

“Are they okay?”

“Yes, from my understanding he wasn’t in his room when it happened.”

I fought to keep my expression under control. Jiyong had been with me. Had that been the only reason he was alright?

Chul cleared his throat, causing me to look up in time to see his eyes flicker towards the security officer.

“Of course, when Seunghyun returned he found the culprit in his bathroom.”

I felt relief wash over me momentarily, then new worries surface. In an effort to keep covered, I leaned forward, resting my head on the table and letting my hair cover my face.

The next person to show up was Taeyang. He seemed annoyed but unworried. We exchanged nods before he settled into a seat and took out his phone. A few minutes passed before Seungri and Daesung entered as well. We exchanged brief greetings before settling down into our respective styles of silence.

I was nearly asleep by the time Seunghyun and Jiyong arrived. I was slightly alarmed by how calm everyone seemed, not least of all at my own sleepy reaction.  Is this just how it is now? Big problems and security issues and all of us just wanting a break?  I shook my head, trying to catch up to the conversation. Particularly since Chul seemed to be addressing me.

“Sorry?”

“Your friend,” Chul reiterated, “you don’t think she’d have told anyone about where you were staying?”

I leaned my head back, thinking about Soo-Ah. But something else came to mind.

“Staff…”

“Staff?” Daesung cocked his head.

“Yeah, staff. I mean, I know, codes of professionalism and all that at the hotel, but that place has to employ… I mean between the front desk, kitchen, housekeeping, engineering…”

“It’s being looked into,” Chul interrupted. “We’re just supposed to be thinking of anyone else.”

“Right,” of course they’d be looking at that already. “Sorry, uh, Soo-Ah? I don’t imagine she’d bother with something like that. She’s not shortsighted enough.”

“Shortsighted?” Jiyong this time.

“Yeah,” I shrugged, “she’s too smart to mess up the one thing that lets her meet her idols. What would she gain from telling anyone? Besides, she only knew where my room was. Even if she was stupid enough to say anything she wouldn’t know anyone else’s room numbers.”

“So not Soo-Ah then,” Jiyong muttered.

“What about the delivery guy?”

I frowned at Daesung,

“What delivery guy?” Chul asked.

“Well, Luna and I ordered some food the other day. And we, uh, well we took a picture with the delivery guy.”

I jumped at the thunk of Taeyang’s head hitting the table. Jiyong had thrown his back and groaned.

“That’s not it,” Seunghyun murmured. “Your room is in a different hallway from mine. Besides, it was a woman.”

Chul sighed and shook his head.

“Okay, we’ll keep looking at it. But for now we’re moving you into the company dorms.”

There had been quite a bit of grumbling about the change in accommodations, but at least the company had moved quickly to retrieve our things from the hotel. There was, of course, a bit of a hold up while they carefully went through everything just to make sure that some endeavouring fan hadn’t managed to somehow place a tracker on anyone.

While we waited for everything to get the all-clear, Daesung showed me around the building we were temporarily staying in.

“I hadn’t used it yet, but I was looking forward to the pool at the hotel. At least there’s a sort of gym here.”

Daesung ruffled my hair, “I’ll take you swimming.”

I shook my head and laughed. “What do you want to do? We seem to only do what I want.”

“Hey,” Daesung put on a fake pout, “the spa was my idea, wasn’t it?”

“Sure, but it seemed like the kind of thing designed to please me.”

“I’ll tell you a secret.” Daesung leaned in close before whispering in my ear, “I really needed to get my hair done anyway.”

I laughed, pushing him playfully.

“Hey,” Daesung pretended to fall. “You’ll regret that!”

“Why?”

He just smiled and sprung up.

I shrieked, suddenly delighted, and ran off.

After quite a bit of running and hiding I eventually let him catch me in what looked like a miniature version of the dance space I had originally met iKon outside of.

The impact of being caught had sprawled us out on the floor again, this time with Daesung clasping his arms around my body. I laughed, careful not to throw my head back for fear of cracking into his chin.

“What’s so funny?”

“You are. Or, you’re fun anyway.”

He loosened his grip on me, letting me get to a sitting position on the floor. I stretched my legs out in front of me, facing the mirror. I tilted my head back and forth, watching my hair shift. I grimaced at my reflection then pouted.

“What’s up?”

“It’s stupid,” I pulled another face in the mirror.

Daesung shuffled over to sit next to me. “Tell me anyway.”

“Nobody said anything about my hair,” I laughed sheepishly.

“Ah,” Daesung draped his arm over my shoulders, “that was very rude of them.”

He shook me back and forth a little bit before standing up. “Come on, we still have a date today.”

Due to the break-in, there was a noticeable increase in security measures. While until now I hadn’t been able to notice security guards unless I was paying close attention, they were just… around now. It made me feel equal parts safe and self-conscious.

But I was easily distracted. I of course found the jellyfish tank as soon as I could. For a moment I was able to completely forget about everything in the last few weeks. Something in the way they moved all around the giant cylinder in front of me made my brain go completely blank.

Of course, nothing that peaceful can last very long. Daesung nudged me slightly. I blinked several times before registering that he held a stuffed jellyfish in his hands. He held it out to me and I took it, somewhat bashful that I hadn’t even noticed him leaving to get it.

“You must really like them.”

I nodded slowly before replying. “They are fascinating. Extremely simple and complex at the same time. And of course they’re incredibly beautiful once they hit their medusa stage.”

“What did you even go to school for?”

“Accounting,” I laughed, “but I’ve always been a heavy reader. You should ask me about the different ways to mummify a body sometime.”

Daesung grimaced slightly at that. “I think I’m all set with that.”

We trailed around, making small talk between rounds of Daesung letting me point out different aquatic life facts that I had picked up between late night internet holes, documentaries, and the seemingly endless books I had been bought when I was younger.

“We should go to a trivia night sometime.”

“Oh no,” I protested, “I don’t know anything near practical enough to be useful in that sort of thing.”

“Come on,” Daesung pressed on, “they never ask about anything useful. I’m sure you would do great.”

“I would rather go to another norraebang. At least I can choose things to suit my strengths there.”

I made the mistake of checking my phone when we stopped for some lunch. I had put it on silent mode for the planned interviews in the morning and had never turned my ringer back on.

From: Hugeboy What are you up to today?

From: Hugeboy I heard there was some trouble at the hotel. Is everything okay?

From: Zico You okay?

From: Sooooo AH! I’m going on a date next week with Bobby.

Obviously, one of these was much more important than the others.

To: Sooooo AH! I fucking told you.

To: Sooooo AH! What are you going to do?

From: Sooooo AH! I don’t know. It’s not very planned.

From: Sooooo AH! He’s so young!

From: Sooooo AH! I should cancel.

To: Sooooo AH! No. You should go on at least one date and see how it goes.

From: Sooooo AH! Right. It’s one date. It’s not like I have to marry him next week.

To: Sooooo AH! Exactly.

“Who are you texting so much?”

I smiled at Daesung, “Soo-Ah. She has a date coming up and is kind of nervous.”

“You two are really close, huh?”

“She has made leaving my life behind in America much easier than it would have been without her.”

All of my luggage had passed muster, as I expected it would. I noticed that someone had taken the liberty of cleaning my brushes for me in the inspection process. I supposed that was one of the perks of hanging out with superstars.

The dorm was small, but I actually liked it. Small kitchen that was open to a small living room type area, a closed off bedroom with a bed that was a bit smaller than I’d prefer, but perfectly manageable. The bathroom was pretty small, and I was stuck without a tub. But it was all very clean and everything matched. It was cozy in its smallness.

The sofa was also small, but I was still able to flop onto it fairly comfortably.

To: Hugeboy Yeah. Everything’s fine. Just a fan that got into TOP’s room somehow.

To: Hugeboy I hate to badmouth staff, but I think it may have been someone who worked at the hotel or a friend of one.

To: Zico I was not the target. So I’m fine.

To: Zico But we did have to move. For a little while I’m living the dorm life.

From: Hugeboy You’re staying in the dorms?

I couldn’t even summon the will to be surprised.

To: Hugeboy Are you two ever not together?

From: Hugeboy Sometimes. But you know we’re working on something.

From: Zico We’re playing Forza. You should come out.

To: Zico Are you reading my texts aloud or something???

From: Zico Not really. He mentioned that there was a fan in a room and I mentioned the dorms.

From: Zico For example, he doesn’t know I just invited you over.

I mulled over the invitation. It wasn’t late, it had just been a long day and Daesung had been called away for some… thing.

To: Zico What’s the address?

From: Zico Actually. Get dressed. I’m bored here.

To: Zico Dress code?

From: Zico Music video. Flashy. What part of the city are you in?

I felt silly standing outside a convenience store all dressed up. But if I had been drawing any judging looks, they were probably changed to surprise when Zico pulled up. It wasn’t the white car I had ridden in before. This was black, a little less flashy except for how meticulously clean and shiny it was.

“Again,” I said as the doors opened, “almost no subtlety.”

Zico laughed behind his mask and hat.

Mino shrugged, “You’re one to talk. Nice hair.”

“It’s not nearly as loud as the car,” I protested. “At least it’s better than that white tiger you usually ride around.”

Zico tilted his head at that, silent now.

Mino just ushered me towards the car, taking my elbow at the curb. “Come on. We’re going to show you something.”

The facade of the building looked like a museum. It was all Roman columns and gray stone. It actually seemed almost boring until I was distracted by the flashy vehicles parked in front. Maserati, Benz, Lamborghini, Benz, Porsche, Porsche, a row of obviously well kept motorcycles, and a Jaguar were easily picked out.

“Guys…”

“It’s fine,” Zico held a hand out towards me, gesturing up the steps with his other one. “Let’s go.”

Inside was both smaller and quieter than I had expected. It didn’t seem to make sense until I noticed that the walls around the main area were actually fogged glass separating areas for private parties from the dance floor and bar.

I looked up at the stage.

“Is that Hash Swan?”

Mino nodded. Both he and Zico were now scanning the crowd. I took a closer look at the people surrounding me. It seemed that the place was not quite at capacity.

A woman with thick eyeliner and dark lips seemed to have spotted us and pushed her way towards us. I quickly tried to hide behind my hair. It was probably not the best idea to be seen with these two by someone paying such close attention.

Mino must have noticed, because he laughed and pushed my hair behind my ears.

“It’s fine here. I mean look around.”

“Hwasa! Have you seen Youngwoo around?”

I did a double take.

Indeed, the woman that had walked up to us and was now being hugged by Zico and Mino was Hwasa. I gave her a small bow before taking Mino’s advice and looking around while they talked.

There were plenty of vaguely familiar looking faces, but a few jumped out at me. Geegooin talking to someone who’s name I couldn’t recall from an earlier season of Show Me The Money. Giriboy laughing at something said by a woman with her back turned to me. Cheetah and Jessi were dancing, and about four feet away from them…

“I’ll be right back.” I wasn’t sure that either of the boys had heard me, but neither of them stopped me as I made my way out to the floor.

“Jihyun?”

The woman turned, a look of surprise quickly turning to something like happiness.

“Luna! Oh my god! What are you doing here?”

I gestured vaguely behind me, “some friends brought me. How are you? I haven’t seen you since you got a dancing contract.”

She grabbed my hand and pulled me off towards the bar.

“It’s been crazy,” she flagged down the bartender and ordered before turning back to me. “I mean I have time off but like… not enough.”

She offered me one of the shots that had been placed in front of us, and quickly downed hers before continuing.

“But it’s also pretty standard. Loads of practicing and revising and even some travelling. But,” she propped her chin in her hand, “what about you? I love the hair by the way.”

She reached up and tousled her fingers through my hair. Seeing a flash of colour under the icy white she grabbed my shoulders and spun me to get a better look.

“I got it done, wow,” time didn’t feel real when I realised what the next word was, “yesterday.”

“Really? It feels so soft.” She finally had completed her inspection so I could face her properly. “You’ve got to send me the information for the salon.”

“Uh, sure,” I nodded, pulling out my phone, “I’ll ask the guy I was with for it.”

To: D-Lite What was the name of the spa place yesterday?

To: D-Lite I ran into a friend who wants me to recommend it.

A thought hit me as I put my phone away.

“Wait, Jihyun… are you even old enough to be here?”

She laughed wildly, shaking her head and pawing at me as if she might fall over.

“You’re so sweet. I’m 23.”

I felt my face stretch out with disbelief. “I’m too old. I thought you were…” I ran my hand through my hair, trying to pick a believable number, “17?”

Jihyun pouted slightly, “It’s because I’m so short.” She leaned in and spoke earnestly now, “There are some dancers at the company that are too young to come out with us but they keep treating me like I’m the baby.”

We chatted a bit more, just catching up. Eventually Daesung texted me back with the name of the spa.

“Really? They’re pretty expensive there. I didn’t think you were the type to go to places like that.”

I opened and shut my mouth a few times before eventually deciding to address what I figured was the elephant in the room.

“You… don’t happen to know what’s been going on with me, huh?”

“Should I?” Jihyun tilted her head, which only served to make her look even younger.

“I, uh, well…” I couldn’t think of where to start explaining. “Wait, here…”

I pulled up an article about the show and handed her my phone.

Jihyun skimmed it, did a double take, and put her new drink firmly on the bar to hold my phone in both of her hands as she read closer.

“Holy shit,” she finally looked up at me, “no wonder you got in. Here,” she once again got the bartender’s attention, “you could probably use a drink more than me.”

I opened my mouth, ready to protest, but then thought better of it. She might have a point.

Thankfully, she didn’t press me for details. In fact all she said was…

“That must be quite a change for you. Explains the hair.”

I could only nod into my drink at that.

“Hey,” Mino inserted himself into my and Jihyun’s dance, “Zico wants to introduce you for some reason.”

Jihyun glanced between us and shot me a “well, well, well…” sort of look.

I rolled my eyes, “You have my number, right? Text me sometime.”

Jihyun nodded as I let Mino direct me elsewhere.

“Who was that?” Mino asked.

“Ok Jihyun. She used to go to the dance studio where I take Kung-Fu.”

Mino nodded. We had reached the door to one of the private rooms. Mino knocked on it softly.

The man who opened the door seemed to fill the entire doorway. Not only was he tall, but also bulky. His hands were covered with tattoos, but I tried not to stare.

He gave me a curious look as he stepped back to let us in. I offered him a slight bow as I passed him.

“Hey,” Zico was sitting on an upholstered bench. He leaned forward and filled a fourth glass from a bottle on a small table in front of him. “Did you have fun?”

Not the question I had expected. I held up the half finished drink that I had in my hand.

“Yes, actually. I ran into someone I know.”

Zico looked up, quizzically knitting his brows together. “Really? Who?”

“Just a dancer from the studio I go to.” I glanced at the man who had now sat down in one of the chairs in the room. “Um, Mino said you wanted me for something?”

“Right,” Zico gestured at one of the chairs. This one was facing the man. Mino settled into the seat next to Zico.

“Are you familiar with Monster Woo.”

“Of course,” I nodded. “I don’t live in a cave you know. I could probably name about half of Monster Fam off the top of my head.”

Youngwoo laughed slightly at that. Zico smiled and nodded.

“Of course,” Zico mimicked me. “I never know who you will or won’t know.”

“This is Luna,” Zico addressed Youngwoo now. “She’s-”

“I know who she is,” Youngwoo flashed a quick smile at me, “I don’t live in a cave you know.”

I rolled my eyes, which caused me to notice Mino. His demeanour wasn’t extremely closed off, but he was slightly shaking one of his heels. I narrowed my eyes slightly before turning my attention back to Zico.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the introduction.” I nodded to Youngwoo, “I am a fan, but I don’t get it?”

“Well I heard about Ilsung an-”

“How the hell did you hear about that?” I hadn’t even mentioned it to Jiyong. The only person I had told had been…

“Daesung told me,” Zico shrugged, “sort of. He had Taeyang email me.”

“Okay, but w-”

“As I was about to say,” Zico interrupted, “Woo-hyung has done some dancing at YG.”

“That’s a stretch,” Mino pointed out.

“I was in maybe...” Youngwoo shook his head, “four music videos.”

An idea struck me. I stood up and gestured to the door.

“Can I talk to you for a second Zico?”

“I just thought he might be a useful contact,” Zico shrugged up at me after Mino and Youngwoo had let us have the room.

“No,” I was still standing, making sure I had the metaphorical high-ground. “You said you wanted me to trust you, right?”

Zico just nodded.

“This is about Jiyong, isn’t it?”

He leaned back, reaching up to toss his hat onto the table. Resting an ankle on his knee he smiled ruefully.

“Yes and no.”

I motioned for him to continue.

“Indirectly, it’s about Jiyong. Directly, I thought you might benefit from meeting some…” he trailed off, clearly choosing his words carefully. “Trustworthy people.”

“You’re not really making a case for trust by pretending this was about my ex,” I pointed out.

At that, Zico leaned forward, quickly dropping his leg to rest both of his elbows on his knees. He threaded his fingers together before pointing at me with the combined weight.

“Do you really think your ex is a good enough dancer to choreograph for YG? Do you honestly think he got the job on his merit? I checked out his Instagram. He’s… fine, at the most.”

“I… well he…”

Fuck. He had a point.

I sat back down. Leaning against the armrest of the chair, I tapped at my lips with my nails.

“Well,” I leaned back, bracing my hands on either armrest, “why do you think he was hired then?”

“I have no idea,” Zico launched himself from the sofa and headed to the door. “But dancers talk to dancers.”

After exchanging contact info with Youngwoo, and Mino briefly explaining that I didn’t have to worry about pictures or anything while inside the club, I headed back to the main area to see if I could find Jihyun. I just wanted a minute of talking about anything that had nothing to do with Big Bang or Ilsung or anything like that.

Luckily I was able to do just that since I found her on the dancefloor again. She quickly disengaged from the man she was dancing with and grabbed my hands to pull me into the throng of people.

I had lost track of how many songs passed when a hand grabbed my wrist. I was pulled around and off the dancefloor by an irritatingly familiar figure.

“What are you doing here?” Seunghyun demanded as soon as we were free of the crowd.

“How did you even know I was here?”

“Chaerin saw you, and you’re fucking lucky she texted me instead of Jiyong.”

I grimaced, “Am I though?”

I spotted Seunghyun’s hands gripping into fists momentarily.

“Yes, you are. For one, I’m not going to make you leave if you explain how you got here.”

“And?” I prodded.

“And what? Tell me why you’re here.”

“You said ‘for one’, so I assume there’s a follow up?”

Seunghyun was supremely unamused, that much was obvious.

“Just start with one. How did you get here?”

I gave him a basic run-down of my night, with a few important exceptions from the story.

“So let me… let me just understand this.” Seunghyun took a deep breath. “Zico and Mino took out to the only club in this city that specifically markets itself as safe for celebrities, and just…” he gestured towards the dancefloor, “let you run free?”

“Basically,” I nodded, “I ran into someone I knew so I just hung out with her while they did whatever.” I cocked my head, “I think Zico had to meet someone anyway, so they just let me tag along.”

It wasn’t the worst lie I had ever told.

“Okay,” Seunghyun nodded, “so here’s number two: I will not tell anyone that you were here and I will make sure that Chaerin doesn’t either.”

“How are you going to do that?” I remembered how cold Chaerin had been to me at the baseball game.

“You know people for long enough, you can talk them into almost anything. Now, number three.”

I grit my teeth, letting my eyes vacantly stare at the light racks above us. This was sure to be some real bullshit.

“I’m leaving. If you need a ride later, text me.”

My head jerked slightly from the emotional whiplash of that last bit.

“So you’re not making me leave?”

“No,” Seunghyun shook his head, “they chose a good spot this time. Everyone here is under some sort of contract. Besides,” he scoffed, “I’m pretty sure everyone here knows that their destruction would be pretty quick if they fuck with us.”

Apparently he was done talking. He turned and walked quickly to the exit.

I found a seat and tried to wrap my head around what had just happened. A few moments passed when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

From: Seunghyun Remember to text me if you need a ride.

From: Seunghyun You don’t want Jiyong to know about tonight.

Well that only raised more questions. He was right. I didn’t want Jiyong to know, but having him say it seemed strange. It made me uncomfortable.

Jihyun must have spotted that I was alone, because I was quickly brought back into the crowd.

“So it’s mutually assured destruction?”

Mino nodded against the headrest of the car, “Yeah. If any one thing gets out, it all gets out.”

“It seemed pretty tame though.”

“Our careers are based entirely on our image,” Zico pointed out, “Some of the rappers might be okay but imagine the backlash from fans if someone like Mino or,” he shrugged, “I don’t know… Wendy was photographed drinking or dancing with someone.”

Luckily, since I was being dropped off in front of a 24 hour convenience store, Mino didn’t try anything like he had at the parking garage in the hotel. He simply got out, pulled his seat forward, and lent me a hand to get out.

“I’d offer to help you sneak in but I never stayed in this dorm.”

I stared as the tub filled up. If only I had my lavender bath salts from home…

My phone chimed.

From: D-Lite I’m sure it’s not that bad.

From: D-Lite But if it is I’ll take responsibility.

Tub full, I slid into the water, then carefully dried my hands to keep texting.

To: D-Lite Why would you have to take responsibility?

From: D-Lite Because I did a bad job of putting sunscreen on you.

From: D-Lite So I’m going to take you out for a spa day.

To: D-Lite You were going to do that anyway!

From: D-Lite Yes! But now I have an excuse to do something nice.

From: D-Lite So get ready, I’m coming up in 10 minutes.

To: D-Lite Ten minutes?! I’m in the tub!

From: D-Lite I’ll be there in 3 minutes then ε=┏(*`＞ω<)┛

To: D-Lite What?!

From: D-Lite Don’t worry. I’m joking.

From: D-Lite … mostly

I dropped my phone onto the bath mat and slid under the water.

Maybe I ought to hurry up.

Twenty minutes later my door buzzed, heralding Daesung’s arrival. My hair was still wet, but at least I was dressed.

A small pout and a tilted head greeted me at the door.

“Looks like I missed the show.”

“I honestly can’t tell when you’re joking around or not,” I stepped aside to let him in.

Daesung switched to a smile that did not fall short of dazzling.

“I’m just flirting,” he shrugged, “isn’t that what the show is all about?”

I peeked into the hallway, then fixed him with a judgmental look. He ignored it as he kicked off his shoes.

“There’s no cameras,” I pointed out.

He stood up, flicking his head to whip his bangs out of his face.

It was a distraction, and a super effective one at that. I didn’t consciously register him stepping closer until I was already caught against the now closed door.

“Looks like you caught me then.”

This position felt a little too familiar. Though, for once, I wasn’t feeling anxious about it.

“How so?”

I was already used to his smile. Bigger than expected, bright, and always with just a hint of mischief.

“I’m out of character.”

Oh, there was the anxiety.

He lifted his hand and I braced myself for a whole new complication.

“Your hair is pretty like this.”

With that, he simply brushed his fingertips over my just barely dripping hair and stepped away.

I watched him turn and move into the living room area, retrieving his phone from his pocket as he moved.

Something about his easy going transition from flirting to waiting made me want the complication.

Daesung arranged appointments with a spa he liked as I finished drying my hair and getting ready to be seen in public.

“Okay.”

I jumped, not having noticed Daesung approach the open bathroom door. He chuckled slightly, but continued.

“We’re set for 1pm, and it’s about twenty minutes from here.”

I nodded, toothbrush sticking out of my mouth. I furrowed my brow and tapped my wrist.

“It’s…” Daesung double checked his phone, “11:09 right now.”

I nodded, already performing mental mathematics about travel times and breakfast.

“Also,” Daesung held my own phone out to me, “you have a message.”

A bolt of panic surged through my chest. Then I remembered that I had changed my settings to not show message previews on the lock screen. At most, he had seen who had messaged me, but definitely not about what.

I rinsed the foam from my mouth and took my phone.

“Thanks.”

Daesung simply nodded and vacated the doorway.

From: Bobby Allowed? Yeah we’ve been with the company long enough now.

From: Bobby I mean the fans might not like it, but that’s why we don’t tell them everything.

I frowned at the screen. I supposed he had point. Of course, when he phrased it like that, it made me a little curious.

To: Bobby Then who’s got a girlfriend?

From: Bobby I didn’t say that anyone had a girlfriend.

I could practically hear his annoyed voice in the text. I decided to push him a little further.

To: Bobby Then who’s got a boyfriend?

The chat bubbles popped up and down a few times. Finally…

From: Bobby That’s not important. What’s important is Soo-Ah, and you helping me ask her out.

Well that was one way to deflect. I briefly thought over the boys in iKon before shrugging it off. None of my business, to be sure.

To: Bobby Just text her and ask. Not that hard.

“What do you want to do for breakfast?”

I looked up at Daesung, who I had entirely forgotten was still in my apartment. Caught off guard, I mumbled the first thing that came to mind.

“Egg toast.”

“Egg toast?” Daesung cocked his head.

“Yes,” I nodded emphatically. I had never been more sure of anything in my life than I was about this. “Egg toast. With the hole cut out.”

Daesung blinked. He seemed thrown off by my complete confirmation. I could see him mulling over the idea.

“I have eggs and bread in my suite,” he offered.

“Lead on then.”

I let the warm feeling of being taken care of wash over me. Daesung had set me into a seat at the little kitchen table, and set to making egg toast.

Even though Daesung’s suite was nearly identical to my own, I had made mine into my personal space much more than he had. Where my suite had sketchbooks and paint pans, his had spotless tabletops and empty shelves.

I desperately wanted to explore the entire suite and see if it was just as empty everywhere. Of course, basic consideration stopped me from snooping around. Instead, I simply sat, and waited, and let myself enjoy not doing anything.

Eventually my short attention span kicked in though.

To: Zico Did you get any sleep?

To: Hugeboy You alive?

To: Sooooo AH! So… Bobby.

The clink of a plate being placed before me made me look up.

“Egg toast, as commanded.”

Daesung slid into the seat opposite me, carelessly lifting his own egg toast to his mouth.

The toast itself was unremarkable. It wasn’t bad, but not outstanding either. It was simply... egg toast, exactly as expected.

The two of us ate in a comfortable silence. Daesung idly flipped through what looked like news articles on his phone. I did some email inbox clean up, before switching back to my texts.

From: Hugeboy Yes. Sorry. Long day and early night yesterday.

I frowned at that.

To: Hugeboy No worries. Take care of yourself.

From: Hugeboy Are you worrying about me? (￣ω￣)

I mentally rolled my eyes at that. Though he had a point, I wasn’t going to let him know that.

To: Hugeboy I worry about all of my friends.

I thought over the next message for a second before impulse made me hit send.

To: Hugeboy That’s why I texted Zico asking if he slept.

I quickly clicked my phone off and set all of my attention to the food. Perhaps the message was a little cruel, but I felt like it might serve me well to set some distance between Mino and I.

“You’re popular this morning.”

“It’s almost like I have friends or something,” I deflected.

“Not the texts,” Daesung handed his phone over to me, “here.”

I took it, curious. I had avoided searching anything about myself or the show, but it made sense that something would have come up.

The first thing I saw was a headline — Big Bang Bullet Shooting Off Course?

Well that didn’t look promising. Briefly skimming the article I saw some names pop up. Zico and Mino were obvious ones, a brief mention of Bobby also seemed about right, but I was thrown off to see the names Jay Park and Amber Liu show up at the end. I decided to read that part a little more closely.

“... the same martial arts and dance studio as several dancers… when she was brought up in a live stream Jay said ‘it’s not like I know all the dancers’ friends. She seems cool enough I guess.’...” I shook my head at the coincidental connection. I went on to the section where Amber was quoted “... join the foreigner’s club… fun to know two Lunas…” I looked up Daesung, squinting. “This is weird.”

Daesung shrugged, unbothered.

“Well, we’re a big deal, so you’re a big deal.”

I passed his phone back to him, shaking my head.

“Maybe I should start keeping up with the news.”

Daesung simply laughed.

Leaning back in my chair, I thought about the article.

The spa that Daesung had chosen was the definition of the phrase “all inclusive”. It was probably on the list for “professional” and “thorough” as well.

A dermatologist scolded me for my sunburn while she inspected my back. Ten minutes later, the same doctor was directing a massage therapist on which treatments and techniques to use.

The massage therapist was a professional looking man. He looked like he had come directly from central casting. At first I was self conscious, but his complete normality and weak personality soon set me at ease. The human body was probably completely disconnected from humanity to someone like him. Skin and fat and muscle were simply different configurations of a base flesh machine.

Once I got into the mindset that everyone who worked there were simply performing a tune-up, it was much easier to let go of the fear of judgment.

It also helped that Daesung and I were split up for the massages, and the little table made to hold your phone underneath the massage table didn’t hurt either.

“Your shoulders are like rocks. You must be very stressed.”

I had to laugh at the therapist’s observation.

“Yes. I think I probably am.”

“Well trust me, I’ll soon get it out.”

I trusted him, and my trust was well placed. Where I had originally expected to simply lay and play some mobile games, I instead was transported to a plane of somewhat painful relief. The only thing keeping me grounded in reality was the faint chiming of my text alert sound. By the end of the session, even that was unheard, as I had, by that point, fallen asleep.

I woke up to a very apologetic woman who explained that she was a hair stylist.

I hadn’t expected a hair stylist, but I wasn’t surprised. Anyone with eyes could see my roots coming in by now.

She led me to the salon area, where I saw Daesung already sitting in a swivelling chair. His hair was lined with foil. What little bit I could see was coated with a reddish cream.

“What shade are you doing?” I asked as I took a seat in the chair next to him.

“Black red,” he smiled. “What are you doing?”

I took myself in via the mirrors lining both walls. I had grown accustomed to bleached hair. I hadn’t changed it much beyond the switch from silver to strawberry to platinum and back again. Different variations on the same theme.

“I’m not sure. I have to cover those roots no matter what, I’ll think about details while that’s done.”

The woman that had led me in nodded her head and disappeared behind a door. I assumed she was mixing some lightener.

Daesung nodded, stretching his neck slightly.

“I think a straight white would look good on you.”

I shook my head briefly.

“Trust me, not a good idea.” I grimaced. “Last time I tried that I ended up looking like a ghost.”

Daesung laughed, that deep baritone laugh that belied honest amusement.

“You know who you should ask? But Jiyong would kill me for saying it?”

Now if that wasn’t an interesting start, I didn’t know what was.

“Who’s that?”

Daesung shot me a wicked smile. It unnerved me a little. He must have read it in my face because he quickly dropped it, looking now entirely neutral and nonchalant.

“Zico and Mino always have pretty good hair.”

My cheeks warmed slightly and I quickly tried to hide it by lifting my phone and looking down. I hoped my hair might create enough of a barrier to prevent questions about the still rising blush.

“I think I’ll just do my own thing,” I mumbled. Then, remembering the cameras, I fell back on a white lie to cover my ass.

“You don’t believe those tabloids, right?”

Daesung appeared to give the question real consideration.

“Well,” he started slowly, obviously trying to be careful with his words. “They do seem to be seen with you more than people might expect. And I may have overheard Seungyoon talking to someone about Mino…” he spun his chair to look me over, “... and you.”

I frowned. I doubted Mino was careless enough to tell just anyone about what had happened. If he had, I doubted Seungyoon was careless enough to gossip. If he had, I doubted Daesung was careless enough to bring it up like this.

Conclusion: this was not about that.

“About Mino and I?”

Daesung smirked, looking a little proud.

“To hear Seungyoon talk, Mino is…” he made a wide sweep of the room with his eyes, making a show of thinking over his words now, “preoccupied with you.”

This was manageable. I relaxed, even going so far as to actually check my messages as I replied.

“I sincerely doubt that Mino has any interest in me. Though I have heard some people tease him like that.”

From: Hugeboy Really?

From: Hugeboy Why are checking up on him? He’s a grown adult.

From: Hugeboy He can take care of himself.

From: Hugeboy ☆(＃××)

“So he doesn’t message you every single day?”

I glanced up sheepishly, feeling a little caught due to the messages currently on my screen.

“Lots of people message me everyday.”

The woman returned, now burdened with a bowl of bluish cream and an apron with pockets full of specialised utensils.

She expertly draped a protective cape around my body. I noted that this one had a clear plastic window so that customers could stay glued to their phones while being taken care of.

Did every section in this place accommodate cell phones? I knew there was a sauna, and a tub area. How did they make it work there?

“Starting with just your roots, right? Have you thought about toners or colours?”

The stylist and I ran some ideas back and forth, both ignoring Daesung’s joking suggestion of brown and white stripes.

When Daesung was taken away for a while to get his hair rinsed and conditioned, I opened up my messages again.

From: Zico A little, yeah.

From: Zico Did you sleep well?

I considered my relationship with Zico, and Mino, before replying. Out of everyone whose number I had collected so far, Zico held the majority of my playlist. I momentarily lost track of my body when I was struck, once again, by how strange my life had become.

To: Zico I slept very well. Are you still overworking?

“Tilt to the left please.”

I obliged the stylist’s request.

From: Bobby You are not being helpful.

That was fair. I guess. I did think that…

To: Bobby Soo-ah appreciates the straight forward approach. She likes the manly type.

To: Bobby If you try to be cute about it, she’ll just see it as immature.

I hoped that Bobby would take my advice. The more I thought about it, the more clear it was that his interest was reciprocated.

“Forward please. Have you thought about colour?”

I craned my neck downwards, and chose a colour without thinking. After some back and forth with the stylist, I was talked into what sounded quite elaborate but worth it.

From: Sooooo AH! What about Bobby?

To: Sooooo AH! Don’t play. You know what.

From: Sooooo AH! OKAY FINE BUT HE’S A BABY

To: Sooooo AH! You’ve had bigger age gaps.

From: Sooooo AH! Yes, but only when I’m the younger one.

To: Sooooo AH! Just think about it. I think you’ve got a shot.

I quickly switched conversations. She would either blow up my phone wanting to know what I meant, or she’d actually take my advice and have a good think.

To: Hugeboy Of course he’s a grown man.

To: Hugeboy I still like to check on my friends.

To: Hugeboy Not enough people check on their adult friends.

An alert popped up, effectively cutting off what could have turned into a diatribe about how people should treat their friends.

From: Zico I like working.

It started with a short giggle. Then another. Then an apology to the stylist as I leaned forward, overcome by laughter.

I didn’t doubt his message. It wasn’t particularly funny. He hadn’t made a joke or reference. But still the laughter hit me, as if my best friend from middle school was next to me whispering “we have to be super serious” again.

The hair stylist handed me a small towel, making me realise I had tears dribbling down my face. I quickly wiped them away and took a deep breath.

“Thanks, I… sorry…”

She smiled, about to speak, but Daesung returned.

“What’s so funny?”

“Your hair,” I responded automatically, still trying to recover.

Daesung rolled his eyes.

“Fine, keep your secrets. Have you decided what you want to do for dye?”

“Yes,” I grinned up at him, still fighting off my laughing fit.

“What colour?”

“You’ll have to wait and see.”

“I’ll see her applying it though,” he pointed out.

“It might be misleading,” the stylist piped up. “We just have to wait for twenty minutes for this to settle in.” She patted my shoulder. “Then we’ll rinse and start the colour.”

I nodded and thanked her, getting a smile in return before she disappeared behind a discrete door.

Daesung shrugged, settling back into an empty chair next to mine.

“So what was really so funny?”

“Everything,” I sighed. “That article earlier, the people I talk to now.” I leaned back a little, trying not to disturb the bleach.

“She missed a spot there,” Daesung stood, probably intending to go get the stylist.

I put a hand on his arm to stop him.

“No, it’s okay. That’s going to be dyed.”

He shot me a quizzical look, but sat back down.

“Do you want to meet Jay? I could set it up.”

I closed my eyes to think about it. I knew some dancers from the studio had lucked into big gigs, but I couldn’t remember exactly who had started working with AOMG.

“If I know one of his dancers, he has a way of contacting me if he wanted to meet. It was probably just a comment from a fan or something. Speaking of dancers though…” I opened my eyes and sat up straight.

“My ex just got hired by YG.”

Daesung leaned over the arm of his chair, absently ruffling a hand through his hair.

“Okay… how bad was the breakup?”

The warmth of the water rinsing dye out of my hair was almost as relaxing as the massage. It was followed by a warmed and ridiculously soft towel.

“That actually came out better than I expected. Your hair looks like a crystal ball or something.”

I smiled, a little embarrassed by Daesung’s praise, but digging my reflection at the same time.

“I feel like it would actually work better if my hair was just a little shorter.” I placed the towel down and leaned forward, closely inspecting my new look. “But I also want to grow it out.”

“Isn’t that what wigs are for?”

“You’re not wrong.” I stopped preening with a shrug. Turning to face Daesung, I tilted my head. “Now what?”

“Now lunch,” he grinned, holding a hand out towards me.

“It’s,” I glanced at my phone, “past four.”

“I guess we’re having a late day then.”

“V-line.”

I framed my chin with my thumb and forefinger, puckering my lips around the carrot still held in my teeth.

Daesung laughed as he snapped a picture.

“I should send this to the guys.”

“No no no!” I protested, the carrot dropping onto my plate as I swatted at his arm. “I want to see their reactions when they first see it!”

“See what?”

I rolled my eyes dramatically, dropping my shoulders to fully express my exasperation with his oblivious question.

“My hair.”

“Fine.”

He rolled his eyes as he said it, but he didn’t seem to be actually offended. If anything, it was as if he was humouring a child.

I watched him return to his own food. This week felt short. Rushed. Whizzing by, a blurred landscape of laughter and conversation seen through the window of the cameras. I couldn’t help but wonder how accurate the episodes would be once they made their way through editing.

“I like spending time with you,” I blurted out, catching even myself by surprise.

Daesung looked up, eyes wide.

I quickly looked down at my plate, unsure of myself.

“I just mea-“

“I like spending time with you too.”

I smiled at my food, trusting the tone of his voice enough to not have to double check his expression.

After eating Daesung had a filming for a CF. Having been granted the chance of free time, I chose to relax and paint instead of tagging along.

From: Hugeboy So you two are friends now?

From: Hugeboy Do you text often?

Mino’s messages had annoyed me, so I had left them unanswered until now. Not only that, but I had thought it might be prudent to wait until I was alone to respond. It wasn’t any business of his who I was friends with. Nor did it concern him who I texted, or how often.

I took a deep breath to chill out before replying.

To: Hugeboy I guess we are friends.

To: Hugeboy I think I talk to him about as much as I talk to you.

To: Hugeboy A little less, probably.

The little bubbles danced on and off of the screen for a moment.

From: Hugeboy What do you talk about?

To: Hugeboy Sleep. Work. Stress.

To: Hugeboy You.

From: Hugeboy Me?

From: Hugeboy Why do you talk about me?

I thought about how to answer that question. I wouldn’t want to create any awkwardness between the two of them by saying that Zico had as good as told me about Mino’s interest before he had, but I didn’t want to lie either.

To: Hugeboy We have you in common.

That seemed inadequate somehow, so I quickly expanded.

To: Hugeboy He offered himself as a confidant but I don’t know if I trust him enough for that. So we make small talk.

Actually, that might be a bit too much information. But I had already sent the message, so I supposed I had to live with it.

It appeared to appease Mino though. My phone was silent as I started pulling my painting station together.

I wiped my hands clean. Well, clean enough. I didn’t mind getting paint on my phone case, but I had learned (a few times) how hard it was to get off the screen without fucking it up.

From: Zico You don’t trust me?

To: Zico I never said that.

From: Zico “I don’t know if I trust him enough for that”

Best friends... you can always count on best friends to tell each other everything and fuck things up.

From: Zico I’m not mad or anything. I’m just curious why.

To: Zico Do you and Mino compare notes or something??

From: Zico He wanted to know why I was being so friendly. He’s a little paranoid.

From: Zico You didn’t answer my question.

To: Zico I do trust you. For conversations like this.

There was a minute or two of no response.

From: Zico In the interest of being honest, I want you to trust me.

From: Zico But I’m not sure why I care.

I chuckled at that.

To: Zico It’s called having friends Jiho.

From: Zico Fascinating concept.

A new alert popped up on top of the conversation. I tapped it open. I was greeted with a picture of Mino, pouting, holding an orange cat.

From: Hugeboy Pay attention to me.

I laughed out loud, noticing that I could see Zico in the background, lounging with his phone out on the armrest of a sofa. Somewhat out of frame I spotted someone else’s legs stretching out on the floor.

To: Hugeboy Who’s cat is that?

From: Hugeboy Mine.

The bubbles popped up and down. I switched to Zico.

To: Zico Does he know you’re texting me right now?

From: Zico No. Why?

I quickly forwarded him the image I had received.

To: Zico Nice boots, by the way.

From: Zico He’d be jealous if he knew you were complimenting me.

A notification popped up. I switched back to Mino’s chat.

From: Hugeboy Are you busy? Want to meet?

To: Hugeboy Hell yeah I want to meet your cat!

From: Hugeboy I meant with me. But I guess the cat lives here too.

I thought it over. The… something between Mino and I was undeniable by now. We were well past the point of denial. Meeting could be… hazardous.

But with Zico and whoever owned those legs there… some unintended chaperone might be just the thing.

Glancing up, I noted that the sky had clouded over. I checked the weather app. Downpour imminent. Maybe it was just an excuse.

To: Hugeboy I don’t think I can tonight. But I do want to meet the cat!

To: Hugeboy Next time.

From: Hugeboy Promise? I’ll hold you to it!

I laughed at his childish words.

To: Hugeboy Next time that I can make it, I will.

From: Hugeboy Fine ㅠㅇㅠ

I left it at that, tucking my phone into my pocket, and returned to painting. If anything, the distractions hardened my resolve to finish this. I knew it would probably take until the end of filming, so that had become my unofficial deadline. The hours necessary seemed almost impossible to find, but I wanted it as a sort of closing on the show. Not in any official sense, of course, rather just as a personal endcap.

Maybe I’d end up painting the guy I should choose.

I laughed at myself. It was a ridiculous thought, and a prime example of some sort of magical thinking. It made me want to light some incense.

Idly working on adding more detail to the background, I wondered if perhaps I had prematurely put that side of my spiritual wanderings aside. Sure, maybe it did nothing but increase my sense of control over my life, but that must be worth something.

And control was definitely something I felt a distinct lack of these days.

On a whim, as these things so often are, I cleaned up my paints and got ready to leave.

From: D-Lite I’m done! Want some dinner?

A sprig of lavender in one hand, I quickly shared my location and sent an affirmative reply.

I was done with most of my supply run by the time Daesung showed up.

He must have had a good shoot. The energy coming off him was tangible. As soon as he arrived I felt warmer and more excited.

“Hey,” he naturally slipped his arm over my shoulder. “What are you looking for here?”

“Candles,” I answered simply.

Daesung didn’t push the question. Instead he simply picked up a candle and smelled it. He immediately blanched.

“Oof, too strong.”

“Yeah, I usually stay away from scented candles for exactly that reason.”

Daesung nodded before a confused expression dipped over his brows.

“Then why are you buying them?”

I considered it for a second before coming up with a not-lie.

“They’re comforting to me.”

It seemed that Daesung tilted his head for a second, but he didn’t press the question.

Not that I gave him much of a chance.

“What did you want to do for dinner?”

Daesung smiled in that bright and charming way.

“Shouldn’t I be asking what you want?”

At my suggestion, we ended up at a Western style restaurant. Specifically, it was a place that specialised in pasta. Staring at the menu, all I could think of was carbs and cardio. I attempted to quell those worries and we ordered.

“So,” Daesung started, “what did you do today? Besides shopping for candles?”

I shrugged. I hadn’t really done much since I had seen him.

“I did some painting. Nothing really interesting.”

“Your emperor and shaman?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I guess that’s as good as anything I've been thinking of calling it. Better, even.” I laughed a little. “I’ve just been thinking of it as ‘the painting’ so far.”

“I know it’s not done,” Daesung smiled, “but from what I’ve seen I liked it. It gave me this feeling like,” he paused, “the power behind the throne. You know?”

“You said something like that before. I don’t really see it. I thought it was something more like a royal pet.”

“Isn’t it sort of the same thing?”

I didn’t answer right away. I took a second to consider what he might mean. A pet having power over their owner?

“How do you mean?”

“Well,” Daesung leaned back, allowing the waiter to place our food down. “We can’t really control pets, can we? We can train them but at the end of the day, they do what they want. But we have to do what they want us to. If your cat wants to play, they won’t leave you alone. If your dog needs to go outside, you’d better let them out before they make a mess.”

I laughed, nodding. Ttungbo had indeed been quite a hassle when I was housetraining him.

“You might have a point.”

“I know what I’m talking about,” Daesung only half-smiled this time. “We can only ask our pets to do things, but we have to follow their commands. Otherwise they’re unhappy. They might even run away.”

There was a change in his demeanor. It was small, but still perceptible. Like someone had bumped into his dimmer switch.

“Did you have a pe-”

Daesung laughed, cutting off the conversation.

“Come on, we should eat before we offend the chef.”

“Can I ask you a favour?”

Streaks of city lights glanced off the river in front of Daesung and I. I watched a few people, teens by the sound of their yelling, running down the path at the bottom of the grassy slope where Daesung laid and I sat with to-go cups of coffee and tea.

“What’s up?”

“Well,” Daesung pushed himself up to sitting, crossing his legs, “I guess it’s two favours.”

“Then I should be able to accommodate at least one.”

Daesung laughed, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

“One is definitely more important than the other.”

“Yah,” I tipped slightly, bumping my shoulder against his. “Are you going to ask me or are you just going to keep talking about it?”

“Fine,” he sighed. He took a short breath before continuing, “at the end, when you have to choose… can you promise me that you’ll choose who you truly want? Don’t worry about what anyone else wants. Just choose the person you like the best.”

That was easy enough. It was what I had been planning on doing anyway.

“Of course,” I shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m not saying you wouldn’t. But I get the feeling you consider other people. Maybe too much sometimes.” Daesung paused, emptying his coffee.

“Well, I mean I wouldn’t want to choose someone who wouldn’t agree.”

“That’s not what I mean. I already know you won’t choose Youngbae.”

We both laughed. It was obvious. Taeyang and I hardly got along, of course that wouldn’t be an option.

“I just meant that you should choose freely. Without worrying about hurting anyone’s feelings.”

“Hmm.” I just nodded to that. He wasn’t wrong, but I felt a little called out.

But the silence felt heavy.

“What was the second favour?”

Daesung was quiet now. I glanced at him, for the first time since he had actually stated his first favour.

He lifted his hand, looking at his palm for a moment.

“Here,” he held his hand towards me, palm up. “Would it be alright for you to hold this for a while?”

“That’s it? He held your hand?”

I examined my hands, noting that they were beginning to prune up a little bit.

“Yeah. He’s really kind of…”

I trailed off, unsure how to describe Daesung. I noticed that my hair dye was leaking into the bath water, tinting it slightly.

“Soft?”

“I think I was going to say innocent. But yeah, soft works.”

Soo-ah sighed, crackling through my phone’s speaker.

“I still can’t believe how lucky you are,” she lamented.

“It’s strange. I know that I’m lucky to have been chosen, but at the same time i-”

“It’s stressful. I know. Peizhi asked when you were coming back to class again.”

“Probably not for another month at this rate. Ugh.” I slid down, dunking my head under the water for a second.

“-ose all your skill. You can’t go doing that. Minseo will challenge your ranking in class. She’ll be eyeing top five after she takes your slot.”

“Let her. We all need motivation, right?”

“Sure, but she’ll get even worse if she gets past you. She’s already acting like an instructor.”

It had been a long day. By any account, I should have been exhausted.

Instead, I was lying in bed, wide awake, watching the minutes trickle past 1am.

Pushed by that call to action that only insomnia brings, I made a call.

It rang once.

I felt guilty calling this late.

It rang a second time.

This was actually quite inconsiderate of me.

It rang a half time more.

“Hello?”

He sounded just as awake as I was. I hadn’t actually expected an answer, so I hesitated.

“What’s up?” He prodded.

I sighed, deciding to be honest.