#hugathon

On Co-operatives, Hugs and UFO’s.

There are reports of events that cannot be explained by natural  phenomena, or exploding outhouses and are known as UFO’s which is the official abbreviation for an unidentified flying objects, when we growing up in the med-school, UFO was the euphemism, for gravitational drainage of the middle finger, though I guess it could also stand for Uncommonly Fat Orangutans, Can you imagine the orangutans…

I recently traveled to visit the family compound for Christmas celebrations. These ritual visits involve a 4-plus hour drive with an averagely packed suitcase that is usually missing essential items.  Upon arrival, I’m immersed in warm greetings, including lots of affectionate hugs. When visits home coincide with a holiday such as Christmas, the hug volume is off the charts because I get to spend time with more people I love.

Family Therapist Virginia Satir suggests, "We need 4 hugs a day for survival.  We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance.  We need 12 hugs a day for growth." This idea fits in nicely with achieving psychologist Abraham Maslow’s third hierarchy of needs:  love and belonging.  Hugs are a physical expression of love unless –of course- it is a choke-hug, a hug my sister Kim and I use that teeters somewhere between a hug and strangling each other. 

Twelve hugs seems like a large number of hugs in order for someone to experience love and be able to grow.  There's no problem hitting that number during Christmas, but I don't typically walk around hugging people on ordinary days. These theorists suggest hugs are fundamental to one’s ability to achieve his or her full potential.  For me, hugs seem less necessary for individual growth than meaningful interactions everyday with people who care about you.   

Then again, I may be a minority voice. There is an entire social movement dedicated to meeing a perceived hug void.  The Free Hugs Campaign, involves holding up a sign offering “free hugs” to strangers in public places.  I passed up an opportunity for a free hug in Las Vegas last spring when the hugger lacked proper signage; it seemed like an opportunity to become his pick pocket victim instead of the recipient of a random act of kindness. Maybe that’s just the suspicious Midwesterner in me.  

Wherever you fall on Satir’s range of needed daily hugs, hit someone you love up for 12 hugs especially from you.  Use every hug you know –even a good ole fashioned choke-hug.