#howtobeamom

Growing up, I had always dreamt about being a mom. I didn’t know what it took to be a mom but I knew in every bone in my body that I wanted to be a mother. A great one at that.

Twenty odd years later, I’m still not sure how to be one. And to be frank, I don’t think anyone could be ready or prepared to be another human being’s life counselor, teacher, protector, etc. But four years ago, I decided that I would love the shit out of this little person. It’s challenging to balance your life and the life of another person, but I am trying my hardest and my best to be a better person than I was four years ago. What once were fears for myself are now fears for my son. What were hopes and dreams of my own are now things I wish for him. And as I lay next to him wishing that he would stop growing up so quickly, I whisper and I pray that God or whoever is watching over him to 1) make sure he makes good choices; 2) remind him to be nice to everyone he meets; 3) love whole-heartedly.

I’m not the best mom in the world but I make damn sure that I am in his eyes. And that’s all that matters to me at the end of the day.