#howispellit

from caught in the act

Finnick starts backing out of the room, already reaching for the doorhandle, when she smiles.

so I drafted this new fic last night and while it has the potential to be Evil ™ because the writing is currently bad I also think it’s kind of an enchanting premise because. disclaimer that I don’t read odesta fic generally speaking but I think sometimes we get so lost in the messiness of it all (rightfully so. because it’s awesome and fun) that we overlook just how in love they are and sidestep some fun creative moments that could come out of that. like Finnick would do anything and everything to make Annie happy. you can’t convince me otherwise. I think she’d do the same! I think he’s just way more uncomfortable with that type of demonstrative affection, so Annie has to show her love a little differently.

anyway the premise of this fic is when Annie gets to Thirteen, we know I write her spitting raging mad and also struggling a lot with her mental health. Finnick feels useless in the face of this because he can help to some extent but she’s been tortured for months, so like. not really. he carries a lot of guilt because of the pain she’s in, and he ends up landing on a singular mission as the only thing he feels like he can do, which is trying to make her happy. but she’s so miserable he’s like man okay. I’m scaling back. I’m just going to try and make her smile. and the fic is a small chronology of his journey attempting that. I think if I fix the writing it will transform from potentially Evil to something as good as 10?, so we’ll see.

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

working out helps a lot! I have to physically exhaust myself into submission to be able to sleep well and I also use it as stress relief. sometimes I try and knit if I’m mentally stuck on something creatively or thesis wise, because sitting and knitting makes me think differently. otherwise I’ll be honest, I don’t think I handle stress very well or am able to regulate when it gets to a certain point. things are just awful until the stressor goes away.

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

ok so nobody who hasn’t read Tabula Rasa and also listened to Tabula Rasa will see the brilliance of these lines but I really like them, because I think I perfectly encapsulated not only the fundamental differences in Finnick and Annie’s personalities and their approaches to the world, but also the energy of the piece. so they are some of my favorite lines lol

Annie flops back down. “It shouldn’t,” she says. “Not for that movement. It should be like draining a wound.”

“Or,” Finnick says, “it should be the sound of something settling.”

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

god. anything. anything and everything. whatever moves someone deeply, I’ll love knowing that and love to see what they come up with!!!

one scene I’ve always envisioned very vividly is in the behemoth when they’re on the sandbar, waiting to pick up Luis, and Finnick says that he needs a break from their marriage. idk if it’s ever come off visceral to a reader but I can just feel that entire scene in my bones. how cold it is, the space between them, the way they’re both reaching for connection but recoiling from each other, I have it so fixed in my mind’s eye that honestly I’d love to see someone else think about it and see if our visions align. but that’s very self indulgent, really if someone makes me fanart I Will cry. doesn’t matter what medium, what it’s of, anything like that. just its existence makes me very happy, it means a lot to me to know that others like my work.

“You think I don’t see you?” Eric grabs the silverware off the drying rack, piece by piece, clattering it against the metal to drown them out even more. “You think Pilar doesn’t see you? And Robin? After all she’s done? You think we didn’t try?”

Annie swallows.

“Here’s how it is. He chased us off. He drove us out, one by one. The only person you were gonna have was him. And you best believe he knew what was gonna happen. He could’ve set everything up, let you go easy and told you ahead of time, got you taken care of, made things cushy and got us all in the loop, but he left you out here with no words about it. Had you watch it on TV, and left you to fend for yourself.”

“I can fend for myself,” Annie says stiffly.

“Course you can,” Eric says. “The point of having someone is you shouldn’t have to.”

The lump in Annie’s throat is choking her.

She hears Eric sigh. “Told Mariela I wouldn’t do this,” he says. “She said not to speak ill, that you were hurting enough. But that man’s no good, Annie.”

the gf and I have a date to the symphony on Saturday! I’m in a pretty small city so who knows what caliber the symphony will be but the piece they’re playing (not sharing publically bc doxxable) is so good that it’s like. everyone cries listening to it. so I will probably cry. also premiering my new high heels and blazer for the occasion, both were 3 euros lol

where would they go if they could disappear tomorrow?

very much depends on the timeline of this question and when it’s asked but uh. Finnick would die. he would happily die. there is not a moment in the narrative that if he could disappear he would not choose death except for mayyyybe that brief shining moment when they’re reunited. that man is too suicidal. but if he had to pick a place I think he’d pick the house Annie built that they share, it’s basically the singular place he feels some semblance of safe.

if Annie could disappear and go anywhere I think that she would go to this sandbar they often went to together that features prominently in the behemoth and some unposted vault fics, it has a cove to swim in and there’s a tree that breaks up the transmission from the ubiquitous bug in the skiff and also protects their backs. she really likes it there

Johanna pauses. Her finger stops moving on Finnick’s back, where she’s been tracing the freckles cascading down over his shoulders.

Johanna pokes him as he pushes himself up to his elbows. “I think I get it,” she says.

“Get what?”

“I kind of get why everyone’s obsessed with you.”