Tony is someone who craves the safety and trust required for emotional vulnerability but struggles with letting people be that space for him, he needs help letting walls down because he isn’t sure anyone else will help hold them up.

Dorian is someone who desires, above all, to be understood - to be cared for enough to be analyzed and known but can’t risk taking the initiative to make that easy, he needs to be cared for and maintained.

Both of these needs are inherently fulfilled by what the other stands for in ideals, function, and personality.

Dorian keeps things safe, he is devoted to the goal of being supportive and providing a secure environment. Tony takes things apart and puts them back together, he learns hands on how to understand them so that he can fix them.

Someone who exists to keep things safe and someone who exists to disassemble and repair.

Two people who share the same motive of keeping the household in good condition. They want their friends to be safe and happy and healthy, they don’t tend to include themselves in their own outlooks but still reflect back their hypocritical attituds - they’re good for canceling out each other’s bad habits.

It’s the fun dynamic of ‘high energy with false bravado’ meeting ‘low energy with real confidence’ it makes the manner they interact with those around them overlap in a neat way.

They’re also both misjudged on a surface level! Tony is presumed a complete dumbass and Dorian is considered emotionally robotic when both subjects are more complex than that.

And… not to hate on canon pairings but uh. Tina was not a good match there. At all. I don’t even need to explain Keith, I know everyone’s already on the same page there, but Dorian also has a kinda implied thing with Reggie himself?

So they both have horrible exes. Horrible taste that led to similar experiences that both require a level of understanding/solidarity to unpack or heal from. This would be good for them.

AND THEYRE SO SILLY IN STUPID WAYS!!

Monotone “whee.” + ✨PPE grippy socks✨

She would be buried in Pine Grove Cemetery alongside her parents. Her Find A Grave entry only says two words currently: "Never married." [4] There's much more that can be said about her, however. A search on newspapers.com uncovered an obituary in the Sun-Journal which described her as a "woman of culture", a "deep student of literature" and member of the Fortnightly club. It also notes that she lived in Brunswick from her birth, in 1836 until the death of her father in 1884, and then moved to Bath, where she lived, meeting "many warm-hearted friends" which he kept until her death. It further notes her membership in the Congregational Church of Brunswick and later in the Winter street church in Bath. She was noted as dying, at the age of 63, at the home of her brother Charles who lived in Bath as well. Other notices pointed out that William, the sister of Frances, would administer his estate. [5]

We also learn, from the newspapers, that Frances visited the Bath Military and Naval Orphan Asylum in February 1898, where it turns out she worked as a "lady visitor" since at least January 1895. She is not to be confused with Frances Elizabeth Packard (1880-1971), daughter of Alpheus Jr. (Frances A.'s brother) and Elizabeth Derby Walcott who was said to be a "remarkably interesting young woman" who went on a trip to Europe, Asia, and Africa, from 1898 to 1899, and reportedly had "many friends" in Auburn and Lewiston. As for Frances A., one article confirmed her trip to Liverpool in 1899. She was clearly more than someone who was unmarried whose nickname was purportedly "Fanny", but a person who had a full life. [6]

The Bath Military and Naval Orphan Asylum was a place that helped out soldiers' orphans, and "half orphans of officers, soldiers, seamen and marines" who died while in combat or from wounds, injuries, or disease. This may be why Frances A. was listed as a housekeeper on her death record. It also included soldiers’ and sailor’s orphan children and grandchildren of any gender, specifically veterans of the Civil War. By January 1903, there were 69 children in the asylum plus 18 who were admitted and 25 taken in by other homes or relatives. Some children had been "farmed to outside homes" but came back to the asylum for "one reason or another".

In 1892, Frances A. voices her views on the aforementioned asylum in 1892 and shows that she is impressed by it [7]

In sum, much of the life of Frances Appleton Packard remains a mystery, complicated by the fact there were others who had similar names, leading to a propensity of false drops. Additionally, while she was noted as single throughout her life, I could find no indication that she ever had a partner. The supposition, based on what I said at the beginning of this post, that those listed as single may be queer is still a good one, but in the case of Frances A., all we can say is that she was single and unmarried throughout her life, as no evidence points to anything else. After all, thought her life, Maine had in place a sodomy law which imprisoned people for ten years, after a revision in 1840, for the crime of sodomy (anal sex, oral sex, or bestiality), laws which are usually used against gay or lesbian people. It would only be repealed in 1976. Even so, some have said that Maine has a "rich LGBT history that is relatively unknown". Interestingly, Brunswick is among the towns recommended for where LGBTQ people should move, while Bath is not. The exact history of LGBTQ people in those towns is still fuzzy, although one source said that "rural Maine gays who had little support in their small towns." That was likely the case for Brunswick and Bath, perhaps more for the latter than the former. [8] In sum, the story of Frances A., living in a town based in shipbuilding (Bath) and the center of activity for the Pejepscot region (Brunswick) remains unwritten, but this article is just the start.

© 2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

Notes

[1] There are other ancestors that I believe might be gay or otherwise queer, since they never married: my great-granduncles Harold "Harry" Cyrus Packard (1907-1975), Herbert Miles Packard (1898-1966), and Thomas "Tom" Theodore Packard (1902-1975) (this would be funny as he was apparently staunchly Republican), my great-grandaunts Olive Martha Packard (1896-1969) and Rachel May Packard (1900-1933), my second great-uncle Joseph B. Mills (1844-1900), my first cousin two times removed Giles Franklin Whitley (1911-1970) who died in 1970. The same is the case for my great-granduncle Joseph Winfield Packard (1885-1910), but that is no surprise as he only lived to the age of 24 before a freight train took his life. The same is the case for my first cousin three times removed Harry Tilson Packard (1879-1915), my first cousin three times removed, who died at the age of 36 in Los Angeles, and my second great aunt Mary M. Packard (1862-1887) who died at only 24 years old. I also have a nonbinary cousin, whose name I won't mention here, and on that note, I'd love to find some nonbinary ancestors, although that could be a challenge. There's also the interesting fact that my second great-grandaunt Margaret "Maggie" E. Mills (1854-1920) and father of great-grandaunt Thomas H. Crosgrove (b. 1858) only had a child when they adopted Mabel Hattie Packard (1892-1961), my great-grandaunt who is the child of Cyrus Winfield Packard (1852-1924) and Dorothy "Dora" Ann Mills (1849-1895), adopted by Thomas and Mabel at age 3. Also, Mary Jane Mills (b. 1854) my 2nd great-grand aunt was not married, from the little we know about her, nor was my second great-grand uncle, William Mills (b. 1861), my first cousin three times removed, Joseph Arthur Packard (1891-1911) who died at age 20, my first cousin three times removed, Walter Archie Packard (1903-1928) who died at age 25 when he was crushed by an elevator in the Montgomery Ward building in Albany. Additionally, my second great-granduncle B. Fred "Freddie" Packard (1858-1884) never married, nor did my first cousin four times removed Eva L. Packard (1876-1967), living in Kansas City for over 50 years, my first cousin four times removed Martha Elvira Packard (1880-1957), living in Kansas City like her sister Eva. The same is the case for my fourth great-grandaunt Ruby Packard (1799-1871) who never married and died of old age or my fourth great-grandaunt Sally Packard (1792-1868). Also, my first cousin three times removed Ida Martha Packard (1892-1973) and her husband Andrew Erastus Kenney (1891-1971) never had any children. Then there's Polly Nash Packard (1819-1868), my third great-grandaunt, termed to have a mental illness by censustakers and stayed at home for her whole life.

[2] 1850 United States Federal Census for Frances A Packard, Maine, Cumberland, Brunswick, Year: 1850; Census Place: Brunswick, Cumberland, Maine; Roll: 251; Page: 254b; 1860 United States Federal Census for Alpheus S Packard, Maine, Cumberland, Brunswick, Year: 1860; Census Place: Brunswick, Cumberland, Maine; Roll: M653_437; Page: 58; Family History Library Film: 803437; 1870 United States Federal Census for Frances A Packard, Maine, Cumberland, Brunswick, Year: 1870; Census Place: Brunswick, Cumberland, Maine; Roll: M593_539; Page: 75A; 1880 United States Federal Census for Francis A. Packard, Maine, Cumberland, Brunswick, 024, Year: 1880; Census Place: Brunswick, Cumberland, Maine; Roll: 477; Page: 55C; Enumeration District: 024. I went through all 120 pages of the 1860 United States Federal Census for Brunswick and didn't see anyone who was Frances. Interestingly, there is a family led by a 45-year-old John Mills and 30-year-old Mary Mills on image 80 (of 120).

[3] U.S., College Student Lists, 1763-1924 for Frances A Packard, Massachusetts, Abbott Female Academy, 1879 (date of publication), Image 174 (and page 48); U.S., College Student Lists, 1763-1924, Massachusetts, Abbott Female Academy, 1879 (date of publication), Image 176; https://archive.org/details/memorialalpheuss00litt/page/10/mode/2up (on page 10); U.S., City Directories, 1822-1995 for Frances A Packard, Maine, Bath, 1897, Bath, Maine, City Directory, 1897, Image 134 (Page 131); Boston, Massachusetts, U.S., Book Indexes to Passenger Lists, 1899-1940, (002) Aug. 26, 1899-June 30, 1900, National Archives and Records Administration (NARA); Washington, D.C.; Book Indexes to Boston Passenger Lists, 1899-1940; Microfilm Serial: T790; Microfilm Roll: 2, Image 148; U.S., City Directories, 1822-1995 for Frances A Packard, Maine, Bath, 1902, Bath, Maine, City Directory, 1902, Image 83 (page 161).

[4] Maine, U.S., Nathan Hale Cemetery Collection, 1780-1980 for Frances Packard Appleton, Annis, George F-Austin, John B, Images 194 and 1035.

[5] "Obituary of Miss Frances Appleton Packard, dying at home of her brother, Charles" clip from Sun-Journal, Lewiston, Maine, 21 Jul 1902, Page 7; "Death notices" clip from Kennebec Journal, Augusta, Maine, 30 Jul 1902, Page 5; "William A. Packard is administrator of his sister's estate" clip from Kennebec Journal, Augusta, Maine, 05 Dec 1902, Page 2. She wasn't mentioned in her father's obituary in 1884 weirdly enough.

[6] She is mentioned as a lady visitor at the asylum on page 5 of this report. Also, the "Appleton-Aiken family papers (1806-1934)" Finding Aid put together by the University of Michigan Clements Library, she is listed as unmarried. Also see: "Frances visits the home" clip from Sun-Journal, Lewiston, Maine, 26 Feb 1898, Page 18; "Frances elected as a "lady visitor"" clip from The Lewiston Daily Sun, Lewiston, Maine, 08 Jan 1895, Page 6; "Passengers return from Liverpool" clip from Boston Evening Transcript, Boston, Massachusetts, 23 Sep 1899, Page 4. This article is about the other Frances: "Frances returns from a trip abroad" clip from Sun-Journal, Lewiston, Maine, 14 Oct 1899, Page 8. This Frances was covered in the newspaper more, as in 1901, it was noted that Florence Gallagher, Elise P. Packard, and Jessy L. McClellan, all women who seemed to be unmarried, were Frances' guests at the Mere Point House (see "Frances entertains guests at Mere Point House" clip from Sun-Journal, Lewiston, Maine, 20 Jul 1901, Page 12). It was also shown that this Frances had been to other parties at the house, including one sailed by a Mr. Packard (see "Frances presents a gift" clip from Sun-Journal, Lewiston, Maine, 02 Aug 1895, Page 8; "Opens cottage at Mere Point" clip in Sun-Journal, Lewiston, Maine, 25 Jun 1901, Page 3). This Frances also seemed to be supportive of temperance (see "Elected to temperance temple" clip in Sun-Journal, Lewiston, Maine, 15 Jan 1898, Page 6). This Frances purportedly crossed the Atlantic with Alpheus Jr. during his travels (see page 200 of T.D.A. Cockerwell's Biographical Memoir of Alpheus Spring Packard 1838-1905). She is also not to be confused with the daughter of William Alfred Packard (Frances E's brother) and Susan Breeze Gallagher also named Frances Appleton Packard (born c. 1865) who died at the age of 17 in October 1882.

[7] Twenty-Second Annual Report of the Military and Naval Asylum At Bath, ME. 1892 (Augusta: Burleigh & Flynt, 1892), 8.