New years just isn't my holiday.

So I'm on the Riverline, the trashiest train in New Jersey, and sitting across from me are two older men popping open beer cans and drinking away. IT IS 10:05am. You better get ya life and 5 G's.

I know its D&G and I know you have/or had an endorsement deal with them but they did a number on your ass with this ill fitting Primark Maternity Maxi Dress looking like a toilet roll doll cover that could house a years supply of quilted toilet paper looking as cheap and tacky as they do in a 90 year old pensioners home. But the worst thing of it all is you actually look impressed with yourself. Go stand in the corner and think about what you did, looking a fool.