#hopeforwidows

Widowhood is defined as “the time of a woman’s life when she is a widow” or “the state of being a widow who did not remarry.” Widowhood is the marital status that a woman or man gains after the death of a spouse. Apart from the organizations mentioned above, some books offer help in the spiritual aspect of a widow’s life. Books such as Widow’s Cry, a book for widow ministries by Jamie Pulos-Fry is a help book for widows who are finding their way amidst grief and solitude...

Don't let anyone invalidate or minimize how you feel...💙 Reposted from @hopeforwidows - Your feelings are valid. 💜 #hopeforwidows . . . . #felitaslove #grief #griefsupport #griefjourney #griefisreal #lifeafterdeath #grievingdaughter #grievingson #grievingchild #childloss #miscarriage #grievingmother #grievingfather #widow #widower #coloncancerawareness #cancersucks https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs1iBMWludm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12dtdgz4iv4ad

Reposting @hopeforwidows:⠀ ...⠀ "Day 4: TAKE A BATH⠀ ⠀ Take a bath. Get the smells, the bubbles, the candles all together. Make the water just the right temperature to prune your skin and then...just sit in it.⠀ ⠀ Play some worship music or classical music - I'll be playing some jazz - and just enjoy the time and space to think and feel and be whatever you're thinking, feeling and being in that moment.⠀ ⠀ This is a difficult one for me. Once my hands are wet, I'm not able to read (my favorite pastime) which can leave me with a lot of time to think + process. I'm gonna do it knowing it'll be good for me, but am also going into it knowing to anticipate a bit of an internal fight.⠀ ⠀ What do you add to YOUR baths to make it easier to tend to your soul?⠀ ⠀ via Hope Sister, @reginasather ⠀ #HopeForWidows #SoulTendingSeptember #SelfCareSeptember #widowshelpingwidows #selfcareseptember #selfcare #healinghappens #widow #youngwidow #soulcare #instagramchallenge #grief #griefandloss #griefjourney #widowsofinstagram" https://www.instagram.com/p/BnTs7Ubhk6HRiyMr_7bGhF-hvTqW0hZ755MtPo0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bkzjis6rmkaz

Day 31: Holidays Technically the last day of this challenge, though I may add one to round it out. Dan & I were lucky to spend the 17 months together that we did. We enjoyed exactly one year of holidays together, with every major holiday by each other’s side, starting with Easter, not long after we met. We have already met one another’s parents, though this was my time to meet the majority of the rest of his, save for a few (17 out of 23 ain’t bad). We enjoyed Christmas Eve with my parents, where Dan cooked a delicious prime rib dinner (with the help of his lovely assistant, of course). Christmas this year was with his family (with the plan to switch days this year—Eve with them, day with mine). New Years yields my first ever NYE not in Orange County, and we spent a fabulous evening (despite my petty ass and his stubborn ass fighting once or twice) with the Oskins. This holiday yields the only picture I have of him kissing me. Little did we know that the New Year we so very much looked forward to sharing together would not give us the happy events we expected, but tragic ones we hoped would be years and years off. All in all, I feel (and I’m sure he would agree), our favorite holidays were the ones we spent together, loving, caring for & about, and supporting one another. I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more than that. #hopeforwidows #widowshelpingwidows #capturingwidowhood #mysoulmate #mylove

Day 29: Widow Brain. So, this is quite a phenomenon. I was getting reeeeeeeeally good when I was with Dan, at not forgetting shit. Using the 7 Ps (“proper prior preparation prevents piss poor performance”) thankfully seemed to help. Since Dan’s death, I forget things all the damn time. In the middle of sentences, I’ll completely forget what the hell I was saying. Even reading out loud is tough — I mix up words and mispronunciation simple things all the time. It’s like being consistently foggy, like being bleary eyed after a not great night of sleep, it’s bad. It’s certainly not the worst part of this widowy bullshit, but it’s quite annoying (and slightly anxiety inducing), but you figure it out. Here’s a handful of hippie crystals, I kid you not, I have been carrying around in my pockets for like, two weeks. Quartz is supposed to be good for purification, and clarifying thoughts (I picked this one up at the National Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh). Amethyst, for healing a broken heart. Even if it doesn’t help, placebos work, and it makes me feel a little less scattered, a little less lonely, without him. #hopeforwidows #widowshelpingwidows #capturingwidowhood

Day 28: Your sacred space. This one is super easy: my car. It’s the only place where I can cry freely without worrying if I’m disturbing someone. I can tell, I can scream, I can laugh. I talk to Dan throughout my day, and often in my car. It’s the only place that’s ONLY mine, and sometimes, if I try really hard, I can still see him sitting there beside me. I have a little alcovey thing on my dashboard, and I’ve decided to leave trinkets there. The little bushel of dried flowers comes from Dan’s mom’s garden: his second youngest nephew picked it for me a few weeks ago. The dark strip on the right is a petal off of one of the lilies I left at his grave the same day. The shell was one of two I picked up that afternoon, wandering Dog Beach with Chaucer. I left one on Dan’s grave, and kept the other for myself. Those are my little reminders make it a little extra sacred. #capturingwidowhood #widowshelpingwidows #hopeforwidows

Dan and I didn’t have many opportunities to give physical gifts, but it doesn’t really matter. The gift he gave me that I will treasure forever is him. His love. He told me he kept trying not to kiss me on our first date; he wanted to hold something back. Then he did, and it was all over for us. I have a text from him a week into our relationship that told me “I hope you’re ready for this, because you make it so fucking easy to fall for you!” I reminded him what I said, after he kissed me in the rain between dinner and our movie: “Nothing will scare me away. I’m in it to win it!” Once we exchanged “I love you’s” by the following weekend, all bets were off. He was mine. I was his. And I don’t feel like that will ever change. He taught me to love in he most extraordinary way. He allowed me to love him completely, unabashed, no holds barred. He loved me with an intensity and ferocity I didn’t know I deserved. The love we shared of the type of love stories are written about. No material gift could compare to his love, and hose big, beautiful smiles. I can see his love in every picture we took, and will cherish them forever. #capturingwidowhood #hopeforwidows #widowshelpingwidows

When we first started dating, Dan didn’t really like telling people where we met; he would occasionally say “the grocery store” which was an outright lie. Our entire relationship, I tried to think of ways or places we might meet; I couldn’t conceive of a single one. We didn’t share enough activities as interests, and we lived nearly 20mi from each other, and we rarely found ourselves in the other’s neck of the woods. We met on Plenty of Fish, which is a dating site I had used somewhat successfully before; I had had dates from that site, but no one that really stuck. I found it exhausting and too much trouble, and was just about to call it quits for the umpteenth time when I came across Dan. He hadn’t been on POF long, nor was he planning on sticking around long; he had been on a different site, and decided to try something else, and he said most women in there bored him. It was probably 2am on a Monday morning when I came across his picture. I used to have a rule: If I can’t see your face, I’m not interested. But something about him struck me. And he had his dog Harley in the background of the photo. I read his profile (he used the word “tremendous”!), which, among many other desirable qualities, included something about arguing in the middle of a grocery store with his 6 year old niece over who would win in a fight: Anna or Elsa. SOLD TO THE CUTE GUY WITH THE DOUCHEY SHADES AND THE DOG. I messaged him at an ungodly hour. He told me later that he saw the message, opened it up, saw the cute girl who knew what tremendous meant, and wanted to talk to me when he was awake. We messaged for a day or two, and exchanged numbers. We were already joking about “romantic partner applications” before we even had our first date. We spent all week texting through the day, and spending hours talking on the phone every night. Our first date Saturday night quickly became what we affectionately called our first weekend: in 48 hours, we spent more than half of it together. Left picture is First Date. Right is the following day. From that point on, we were nearly inseparable. #widowshelpingwidows #hopeforwidows #capturingwidowhood