#hoon.

                 when it comes to relationships, nothing is as it seems. or at least how you expect it to play. clarity doesn’t come so easy when you are trying to hold on to familiarity. and it’s hard to admit it even when you are standing face to face with the big picture. that’s something on which was prompted in hoon’s brain for a while now, a really long time actually and that was nothing something to be proud of. he was never the type to back down when things got difficult or to hide behind something because he was not comfortable with the outcome. he was privileged though, he would always recognize that before any takeaways and that was partially the reason why he would try to calculate his actions with precision so things wouldn’t blow off in the wrong direction. however, when it comes to matters of the heart, things get much more complicated than that. especially when you thought you already knew so much about it. when you thought that this is all there is to know and if that’s all then it’s fine to just roll with the standard version. none of these mistrusts can explain his behavior though. and he knows, taking accountability it’s his first instinct at least. which is why that question was so tortuous and yet unvarnished to give a response. hoon was trying hard not to lie to bomi, as much as he could, but things were moving so quickly between them that it didn’t seem like he had much time for the truth. sometimes he wouldn’t even think about it, and that’s exactly what makes it so painful to realize. his expression was so dead serious for a moment that he had to take a quick breath like he was caught up in the midst of an adrenaline memory. ‘ at my house, under an old tree, so unoriginal.’ it was back in middle school actually, hoon was fourteen and took his crush to his house, a place she very much knew already but made a whole place in the backyard for lunch. they spend the whole day sitting under the tree, they even made out. ‘ god, it was so embarrassing. it was my first tongue kiss. i had no idea what i was doing and i probably tasted like toothpaste.’ different from those times, with bomi though there was no such thing as regret. she knew him as someone mature, someone that hoon wanted so bad to be for so long and yes, he may be a bit bitter sometimes from growing up to fast but even in those moments, she seems to be full of appreciation for him which only makes their connection even harder to dwell. this fresh page, standing right in the middle of his fine apartment with glass eyes and an expression too lovely to bear was weighting not only on his mind anymore but starting to carve it’s way into the heart every day. so he couldn’t help but notice their chemistry and he didn’t wanna hold back, meaning that there were a million pieces of hope in the air; ones hard to read, others simple but still just pieces. ‘ dates. do people still go on those? wait.. was that your way of making me ask you on one? ’ fuck, why would he say that? he so desperately wanted to take bomi on a date even before, but now if he didn’t she would surely be thrown off and if he did things would get much more disgraceful from that point on. this was the weakest hoon has ever been in his entire life, having to deal with such a strong and fast emotion, yet that was no excuse for lying and he was determined it shall never be. ‘ forget it. i shouldn’t get my hopes up. you’re the kind of big brain that knows her midterms are coming and wouldn’t risk that on a guy.’ genius, hoon, blame it on the academics. blame it on her future, which is set to be brilliant if she doesn’t get time to answer that question before things start popping from his mouth again. ‘ which gets me to my point: it’s late, do you wanna grab a coffee by the campus before going home?’ not very good, no. not when you are trying to draw a line. but at this point what is this line? ‘ actually, i should wait for hunter. he owns me this month's rent.’ with his hands on his pockets and the most apologetic look he could ever have given a woman before in his life, he told his most minor lie of the century. at least he wanted to believe so. he had to believe so, for bomi because she didn’t deserve this play at all, and getting closer together wasn’t gonna erase his own relationship if you could call it that. they waved by the door, ignoring his heavy heart and confusing thoughts. begone whatever left of reasoning there, his own self took it all away for taking for granted what he once thought knew about falling in love.

               television wasn’t interesting at all, hoon only had one at his place to go with the flow of the living room but he didn’t think he ever knows where the control is that’s why it is always off. meanwhile, he likes to read books and loses track of time on it, it may seem old and out of fashion but that’s just the kind of person he grew to be. back home, their parents made his bedroom into a library and he doesn’t mind sleeping between the books whenever he goes home but having his own place was great. it wasn’t even about the independency because he always had that in a certain point, but the feeling of discovering life for your own and making your way somehow. he learned how to change a lamp and how to make rice, iron his own clothes, even enjoyed doing his laundry and had a special day just for it. hoon always was trying to find meanings in bigger but simple stuff just like paulo coelho’s character santiago is one of his favorite books ever, the alchemist. lost in his monologues about where he is on life every night, it could take a while before he closes his eyes and when he finally did with the book still on his hands and the lights in the living room still on, drifting on his own brown sofa brought by his mom on ikea. his daydream got interrupted over the buzz of the door a few feet away, looking at the time before actually going to open the door it almost seemed like a scene from horror movies and hoon almost asked who it was before answering the door but he didn’t because he was still a little sleepy and possibly was just hunter who lost his keys. having a roommate was fun but sometimes a little annoying, especially because hoon didn’t have any siblings and didn’t understand what it was living sharing stuff but he was ready to work on it at least. the person behind the door though was the least expected though, long dark brown hair, sweet looks, and feisty personality who made him grin over in surprise. ‘ hm, hello. ’ said like on a phone call. but it was pretty much past midnight and it meant all the goosebumps he felt for seeing someone so right over the weirdest circumstances. ‘ you got lost? all the way over here? ’ hoon tried making a laugh, like always whenever he was around bomi because he felt it was something they had, a secret or i don’t know — a part of him which enjoyed their carefree moments, talks, shared looks and even friendship. ‘ it’s you rude you just stand there. come in. have a cup of tea, or two or a pillow, a blanket. would you like me to sing you to sleep? i’m not very good but i could try. ’ he said, bringing her in and closing the door. there was no way out, i mean, there was but he knew he was in dip shit into her at that point it was just complicated to admit it. ‘ mi casa su casa. it goes like that.’ he was seriously stepping away into his cravings of giving up and kissing bomi right there right now because it was crazy she was at three am at his house unless something was going on. but instead, he was polite and of course, as expected of him or any men to be, deciding to listen to her beforehand because even if he was invested, it may all just be desire talking.

. ✦ ｡ park sunghoon

@gwnflrt my juliet ♡

do you want a church wedding?

i understand  why people do weddings on churches, but i’m not religious unless it’s a really pretty church. if you’d ask me would you marry in the sistine chapel? yes. wouldn’t you?! weddings are a celebration so whatever makes the person with me happy though, it’s what i will be doing.

Have you ever been to the hospital?

i have a few scars, yeah. once i went to a hospital in the switzerland because i fell over hills while i was hiking, so i got this huge scar next to my left knee and one in the back from the same day, in total i got seventeen stitches. what can i say? i’m bond to survive.

Who was your first real crush?

real? well, how can i start this? i was eight and i was very good friends with my next-door neighbor mikyo, we played like every day and back then i didn’t understand when our parents truly believed we where gonna get married someday because i was a child. then, at age thirteen she got a boyfriend and i was really jealous, i stopped talking to her until she moved to the usa to study. we became friends again when she came back, dated for a whole year and got engaged but we put it on hold since she decided we were to young for that. and i believe that too, we are giving some space. this turned into a really serious, kind of sad story but it’s not. she was my first real crush and hopefully will be my last.

My biggest pet peeves

i’m really unbothered honestly but i back off if someone doesn’t seem to be on the same page as me. i don’t like things uncertain, the transparency it’s the base of really good relationships. also if you don’t like me taking you out or just taking pictures of you, small stuff, you know?!

My childhood career choice

i wanted to be an astronaut or an actor, there is no in-between. i used to put on a cape and a box on my head and pretend i was on the moon, which is not realistic but it does say a lot about me.

Are you insecure?

probably. if i was a hundred percent secure i’d be too shabby, i like myself a little doubting so i can feel everything i can feel. netherless, i am sure of who i am and i do love my life. 

فيلم Main.Hoon.Na.2004 بطولة شاروخان مترجم

مشاهدة فيلم Main.Hoon.Na.2004 بطولة شاروخان مترجم

                ( I WANT THE ‘K’ : CLOSED )                      ↳  13  :  STOMACH KISS.

if she hears him complain about this one more time mona is truly going to scream. she sympathizes with him, she does. it’s hard to resist the temptation that is the perfectly golden mcdonald’s fry -- mona never can, and she pays the price for it every time she feels her chest constrict during a routine pilates movement and every day she has to fast walk to yonsei to avoid tardiness. but she has acquiesced herself to the fate of her arteries, because she will never stop eating mcdonald’s fries -- the rest of her is just going to have to deal with it.

jooheon, unfortunately, has not found his own inner peace with this very serious issue. it is why mona has found herself perched at the foot of his bed, critically surveying the curled-up shell of the man beside her, torn between leaving him be and physically mangling some sense into him.

“jooheon,” she releases in a short breath, voice terse, fingers itching to grab at him and shake the dramatics off of his person. “are you being serious right now? are you really not going to eat this chicken i brought because you think you’re getting fat?”

a groan wracks her throat, her reaction to his lack of response to her pointed query. that is it, she has no more patience, and the chicken is getting cold. “jooheon!”

and okay, they’re not the best of friends, and okay, this is a little embarrassing, but mona is hungry and therefore not in the mood to be empathetic to a cause. her fingers catch the cusp of his t-shirt and she mercilessly pulls to expose what jooheon’s deemed unacceptable by societal standards. “are you kidding me?” she nearly-screeches upon the sight of his flat stomach. “you’re not fat at all!”