#hogwarts incorrect

Hufflepuff: I’m you! See I’ve got a quidditch jacket and messy hair and a broom and look!

Hufflepuff: *swishes around flaming sword*

Hufflepuff: I’ve even got your sword, and here’s my spouse

Gryffindor: I’m not married

Hufflepuff: .. I said hERE’S MY SPOUSE

Slytherin: Hello, I’m Ravenclaw, Top student; see I’ve got my chocolate, [makeup] eye bags, and a stack of books

Gryffindor: Oh thats cute

Ravenclaw: Yea thats kinda cute

Slytherin: *takes out knife and cuts it off*

Hufflepuff: there is good in goodbye

Hufflepuff: I JUST REALISED HOW BAD THIS SOUNDS. FOR THE RECORD, I HAD A NOSE BLEED, I'M NOT A SERIAL KILLER.

Gryffindor: But we both know that's not quite true.

Slytherin: Hydrogen peroxide dissolves blood, just fyi.

Ravenclaw: Do you think if you gave someone a huge shot of hydrogen peroxide straight into their bloodstream it would kill them?

Slytherin: don’t worry, it’s not a big deal, we can fix this, we’ll figure this out

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Slytherin: *makes a mistake*

Hufflepuff: But I'll feel so lonely without you, Raven! Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Ravenclaw: Okay, I'll-

Ravenclaw, squinting: Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?

Ravenclaw, not even looking up from their book: Your gay is showing

Gryffindor, automatically: Bi, actually.

Ravenclaw: Yeah, well if you don't act on your feelings you'll be BI yourself.

Gryffindor:

Hufflepuff: well, Slytherin said they have feelings for me. they just didn't specify which ones :(