#hlvrcc

I apologise for my shit ass handwriting.

Past Gman : " I can use him as a guinea pig... or a human meat shield. "

Future Gman : "... haven't things changed quite a bit?... "

Dude went from willing to sacrifice this stranger at the first sign of danger to threatening his son's friend to keep him safe and throwing him a Chucky Cheese birthday party.

Okay, it wasn't stupid, but when I was trying to figure out how to approach the whole mess that is ' Gordon Freeman ' I realised one very important thing.

It'd make much more sense to explain some of the workings of this AU along with Coomer because Coomer is directly linked into how the game works, and bc he's a tutorial npc? Eh? EH? See how it all links together? Like some sort of CODE CONNECTION... I'm sorry, which is important when talking about all to do with' Gordon Freeman '

ALSO. BUBBY LORE TOO. Yay, he's finally got some lore in this AU. :D

So. Yeah....

Doodle of Coomer GO )

Coomer and Bubby

( woah, they made the Italian flag- the power of gay old men made Italy.)

...

When the mod creator got the idea to make a one of a kind vr half life mod, it wasn't hard to get the vr part done, they stuck the map into Gmod, played around with some things, and boom, vr mod. They got that out of the way and so what if it was a bit patchy? They'd fix that later after the Beta release if there were enough complaints.

The real challenge was the ai. If they wanted their mod to stand out, they needed to go beyond a simple port. The ai of the original game was already impressive- for it's time. But the mod creator knew they could do better. How hard could it be?

...

Very.

They found that out after a lot of tests. They'd tried so many times, but nothing they coded stuck, it always had the scientist npc's glitching out and acting... well, erratic, animalistic, feral. They didn't want to delete these failures as they wanted to pick them apart and learn what went wrong, so they tucked them into a small part of the map. Surely they'd remember to delete them later, right? ( they wouldn't)

Until finally. FINALLY. They got it right by fluke. Perfect, the perfect scientist. It was able to interact and adapt by itself! So, the mod creator decided to pop this scientist somewhere secure, so it wouldn't escape off and just be a pain to find again. Where better than that tube? Just temporarily delete the enemy inside and pop the ai in there so the modder knew just where it was. They decided to leave this ai's code alone, not to fuck it up after spending so long trying to get it to work.

In light of this victory, the modder started to experiment more with other scientist npc's. They wanted them to be more knowledgeable on the world they were ' in '. So, what better idea than pasting the Half Life Wikipedia into their database?

The modder figured they'd go through it and pick away the unimportant parts - and take away the links that led to irrelevant pages later. ( again, the modder did not remember to do this and accidentally gave the ai database ( sorta ) free range of Wikipedia. )

( I will need a third part for Walter. He's got a lotta shit to unpack.... but I may detour a bit first.)

( So... ummmmm... it's been a while since I touched this AU. But that doesn't matter because I'm just making this completely for self indulgence. This has been rotting in my drafts for... ages. So... TADA! )

( Oh, SPEAKING OF DRAFTS. My drafts have been glitching out and POSTING instead of saving. It's PISSING. ME. OFF )

TW. DEREALISATION. UNREALITY. BLOOD(? IMPLIED)

( ... after the stream of HLVRAI Act 3 Part 1... )

The headset crashed to the carpet with a dull thud, it'd gotten caught in Walter's long hair which he hadn't washed in a while when he'd ripped it off his head and tugged out a few strands along with it.

But Walter didn't care. No, that was the least of his problems.

He couldn't feel his arm.

It'd been burning from pain not a moment ago, but now there was nothing. No pain but also no feeling.

He couldn't feel his hand.

Walter shook his hand, waiting for any feeling, any pins and needles.

Nothing.

It flopped lifelessly. No feeling. Walter tried running it under water, poking, pinching, stretching.

Nothing.

It was just limp. It made no sense. He knew he should've immediately gone to the hospital, but what would he say? ' My arm went completely numb after I played a game where my arm got cut off and I swear I'm not delusional??' Not to even mention the bills.

He knew isolation would only make this all worse, but he didn't want to see anyone. Maybe if he ignored it, he'd wake up and realise it was all a dream.

So, Walter stayed holed up in his apartment for days, contemplating calling his friends and resisting the pull to put the headset back on.

Or, at least he thought he was resisting.

However, after a day of being unable to think of anything but the game... he kicked up a stream and put the headset on.

Walter didn't even bother greeting his chat - he hadn't a chance. The pain immediately flared up again in his arm, like it'd never stopped. He a wave of fog cloud his mind as the line between reality and the game blurred.

It was a godsend when he finally stumbled into Tommy, honestly Gordon thought he was going to die-

Walter. His name was Walter.

For a few moments there he'd forgotten that. There was no bloodloss, so why was he so light headed? Why did his hand feel wet and sticky when he touched the ' stump ' the limp hand with his alright hand? Or did he really feel that? Was he just delirious?

(... skip on over to the end ... ( Just a note : When Walter later gets the gun hand from Darnold's potion, his real hand is still limp. I'm just too lazy to write that scene out. )

Walter sat at the Chucky Cheese party table staring blankly at the table cover. The adrenaline of the fight was wearing off and the fear and exhaustion crept through his bones.

Every time he blinked which was getting more frequent by the moment he saw Benrey's glitching shifting form... and those skeletons.

Those skeletons had unnerved him from the start- no, that one skeleton. That skeleton that only he had seen. That skeleton whose eyeless gaze that was somehow so full of loathing was burned into his brain.

That skeleton that'd had a passport which had displayed the bizarre name ' YOU '

Even thinking about it sent a chill down his spine.

He tore his eyes up to watch his friends dance about. They seemed so happy. Walter watched Tommy giving the vaguely minion-shaped pinata his all as his father stood by watching with what Walter assumed was some sort of pride or joy - he didn't even think that man's face could make any expression other than a blank stare could any of their faces?

Bubby and Dr. Coomer were dancing around with their clones / prototypes.

Walter knew he should've been feeling happy that they were feeling so energetic and that they were all safe. But his eyes wouldn't stop flickering between the clones, like he was expecting them to jump at him... because deep down he was.

Coomer's speech still haunted the back of his mind. Atom by atom.... Walter didn't even want to think of what that'd feel like.

Walter's hand found his - now non-gun - arm. He knew there was no way Coomer could've ' puppeteered ' his body by ' climbing into his skin ' ... but it still wasn't a nice thought.

Walter felt the unnerving feeling that he was being watched, however when he turned around, there was anything there....

A little note before I start. Like most hlvrai au's, I've decided to switch out Wayne for a different name, because I'm just not comfortable with tormenting and headcanoning a real human. Even the fictionalised version of him in the story.

I went about trying to figure out a stand-in name.... then I watched the breaking bad stream and a stupid moronic little thought bubbled in my brain and I literally couldn't not do it.

So... in this au the player's name will be....

Walter Martinis. Walt for short.

Is this stupid? 100% but isn't the whole series stupid?/pos

Basically just Wayner-ish but if the events of HLVRAI left more of an impact on him. Like... WAY more of an impact.)

TW. DEREALISATION AND ADDICTION

Gordo Feetman Walter Martinis

Part 1. ( there WILL be more. Trust me. )

Walter was browsing the Internet with some friends on a discord call, he'd been zoned out for the last half hour, trying to come up with ideas for the next stream. He'd been sat at his desk scrolling for... hours.

He was responding to something one of his friends had said when he came across an old email from some rando going on about a half life vr port that promised ' improved npc interactions '?

It said it was a beta, and seeing as the poster hadn't emailed again, it was fair to say it was probably still in beta. Walter was bored, and made a half joking comment about trying it out, but he made the mistake of hovering his mouse over the link and...

Click. Download in process.

Walter hissed, frantically trying to reverse his mistake. He didn't want his computer to get hacked, that was the last thing he needed! However, when he tried to pause the download, it wouldn't work. Instead the program opened and Walter braced for all his data to be snatched.

..

( This means a timeskip btw :P )

...

....

He'd managed to delete it with the help of his friends on call, however as Walter lay in bed that night.... for some reason he couldn't stop thinking about it. He tossed and turned but his mind was fixed on that stupid mod.

The only bit of sleep he did have resulted in a weird dream that'd slipped away from his memory as soon as he woke up. Something about being in the dark, voices all around him, so many voices. He didn't recognise any of them.

So, in the deep hours of the night, Walter booted up his computer, redownloaded the program as if he was in a trance and connected his dusty vr gear. He posted out that he was streaming to his channel and put his headset on as people trickled in to watch.

..

...

....

The first stream had been ... well, interesting. He couldn't believe how realistic the ai had been. Walter had nearly forgotten they weren't people.

But they been so. Utterly. annoying. At first he'd been playing up his frustration but after a while of their bullshit he'd actually found his patience to be running thin. Especially at that guard.

However... the whole experience had been... exhilarating in a weird way. His emotions had taken the reins, it'd felt so... masochistically freeing. But the buzz was fading, and he felt a wave of exhaustion crash over him.

Walter rubbed his forehead where a flushed indent from his headset itched. Great, a headache was on the way. But to be fair, he deserved it for streaming all night- wait, all night? Walter pulled back his curtains and was met with a dull midday sky.

How had he spent so long on the game? God, he had stuff he needed to get done. Errands to run.

..

...

....

Walter shut off his most recent stream of the series he'd decided to call ' Half life but the AI is self aware '

He let his controllers fall out of his hands - thanks to his wrist straps they didn't hit the ground - however he swore they stuck for a moment. Long enough to be noticeable. Walter reached up to pull off his headset like usual... but it didn't slip off smoothly like it'd done before, it felt... glued.

This part is actually set DURING the main story, during one of the many times Benrey leaves the science team.

I imagine him sitting out of bounds or somewhere on top of the map trying to pick apart his messed up memory. So, basically, it's all him looking back at events BEFORE the main story.

But I will make a follow up post explaining this all myself after I do Coomer, who will be after one- ẗ̵̻́w̵̥͝ó̴̮ more character ̸̩̠̪̻̍̀͌͝s̶͍̲̝̒, I just wanted to explore it through Benrey's eyes ( kinda, I can't write in character, so this is more like me trying to explain what he was thinking and feeling? Also, I cannot write dialog, forgive me 😔)

Benrey

It was all fuzzy, it'd been getting fuzzier the longer he spent around Gordon since he'd been acting weird. Benrey didn't know what it was specifically about Gordon that was off, he got both a sense of familiarity and uncanny valley whenever he was near him.

He'd say things his brain somehow knew Gordon would find funny... but the man's reactions were never right. Always off in a way that made him want to keep trying, try get a ' right ' reaction... even if he himself didn't know what that would look like.

Benrey stared up at the dark sky. He had a inkling that he'd done this before. Though it felt like something was missing. He'd been having that feeling since the Resonance Cascade- no, since Gordon came to work. The moment he'd said "Howdy!"

Odd, now he was away from the team, his mind was clearing. He could remember... a presence. Why couldn't he remember their face? He couldn't remember their voice- did they even speak? For some reason he kept looking down at people's hands, like he was expecting something.

How long had it been since the Resonance Cascade? Benrey didn't know, he didn't care. He was certain the days had blended together even before the whole apocalypse had started.

He remembered liking that presence, seeking it out, before all this. They'd been his friend. He was sure of it. Best friend. He remembered now, sitting down- not up here, no, down outside the Black Mesa building, with the pigeon perch. He remembered laying beside someone, laughing. He'd liked their laugh, it was like Gordon's, but better. A hissing snicker that was so unprofessional compared to the rest of them. Yeah, he remembered it now...

...

...

...

"whats your uhhhh your ... inbetween name? "

[ Y̷̨͇͇͗͜ơ̴̛̝̩̪̔͋u̶͎͙̳̘͈̞̎̅̈̎̌̎͝ͅ ̵̧͕̖̙̺̘̿̉̽̈̓̿͒̚ͅm̶̢̛͙̗̱̓̉̊̓͑̽͆́e̸͍̱̤͖̻̺͑͗̍̋͆̽̈́͝a̵̝̼͊n̷͖̏͑̈́̆̎̍̚ ̸̧͇͈̪͈̄̊͊͒̆̚ͅm̴̡̜̘͖̃̂̒̅̍̀͘í̵̗͈̙̘̥̭̗̀̿́d̴̞̓̽̕d̴̬͔̠͚̗̺̫̭̪͋l̶̻̘͓̪͍̣̥̱͚̈́̿̌̄͋͑ê̶̻̩̯͕̳̠̹̞̱̄̇̔ ̸̡̹̊͒͊̇̎n̸̲̖̰͉̣͚͊̋̓̑̌́͊̾̕ä̵̭͙̻́̅̅̀̃͠m̷̧͖̼̝͋̓͗̈́e̷̟̎̇̈́̉̀̕͝?̴̟͚́́̇͝͠ ̸͔̤̳̉]

"hmm, pretty sure it's called inbetween name. cause it's inbetween your first and last ones, like a name sandwich."

[ I̶̝͆̄ ̸͇̂͘ḑ̵̼̽ȯ̵͇n̷̢̎'̵̼̯̆͝ţ̸͉̏̀ ̶͕̂̍t̵̳̾̉h̵̨̉̎î̸͜ņ̸̖̈́̐k̵̛͓̥̔ ̴͕͋İ̵͖ ̸̜̫̉h̴̼̻̉̿a̵̡͊v̸̧͌̅ĕ̴̗̚ ̵̝̅ó̶̖ṋ̸͓̓e̶͖̪̋.̵̤̱͑ ̷̲̖̑]

"wow, that's uh... that kinda sucks... didja parents not love you enough or something? ☝︎︎⚐︎︎☼︎︎👎︎︎⚐︎︎☠︎︎ 'loser' ☞︎︎☼︎︎☜︎︎☜︎︎💣︎︎✌︎︎☠︎︎? ☝︎⚐︎☼︎👎︎⚐︎☠︎ loser💣︎✌︎☠︎?"

He remembered that got a laugh out of his friend. In turn the sound had made his stomach flutter with... pigeons?

[W̶̹̪̮͊͒e̴̦̖̊́l̶̙̎̕l̴̞̲͝ͅ ̶̭̟̅̂̊t̴̮̒h̵̼̅͂e̵͚̠͠ǹ̷̩͛,̷̨͖̒̆̕ ̷̳͎̈́̍͝w̷̦̓h̷̘͍̑á̴̓̓͜t̸̠̔̄'̵̨̫͈̎s̵̬̤̙̚ ̷̪͙͓̊̓Y̵̨͗O̶̭̘̬̔̅̍U̶͉͗͊R̵̻̆͑ ̸̬̓̏͂ḿ̸̱́i̴̛͈͛͛d̸̪̹̹͌͛ď̴͉l̸̬̭̠͌ẻ̸̳ ̸̹́n̴̬͠͠a̸͉̎́̈́m̴͉̄ẹ̸̳̹̍̇͘,̴̜̬̬͌̽ ̷̺̲̇̿̈s̷̬̐ḿ̶̯á̴̻̠̽͝r̵͖̣͆̚t̸̲̠̟̒̑a̵̱͖̜͂̽͌s̴̨̍̓s̵͙̯̎̈́̚?̸̘̄]

"all this time and you don't know my in between middle name? wow uh- bad friend alert. it's uhhhhh- Benry. "

[ .̴̟̙͑.̵̱͙̖͌̓̀.̴̨͎͐ ̷̧̯͉̔̔̕B̵̪̳͑e̷͔̻̾̉̂n̸̮̓ȓ̸̹͜y̵̭̾?̷̹̩͓̔ ̵͍̍͋̉T̸͉̗̽̀͆h̶̢̳̓͜ä̵͚́̈͒ṫ̸̲̗'̵̭̅̀̓s̵̟̋́͊ ̷̢̣̂͛j̶͈̥̓ų̷̝̒̈́s̵̳̄͝t̸̼̏̃ ̸̰̈́͘y̶̧̜͍͝o̵̢͛̆͋ṵ̴̧̱̀̆r̴̥̻̀͂ ̶̹̝̬̇f̷̡̨̈́͛i̷͕̠̖̍r̴̛̘̺͆̕š̶̚͝ͅt̷̹͓̄͛͘ ̴̫̟̂n̵͔̩͌a̷̡͙̐̈̍ͅṃ̶͓̂͂͜ē̵̹̟̎.]

"nuh uh, it's different.... you give off.... Josh. are you SURE you don't have a in between name?"

[.̷̠͇̋J̴̰̐̏ò̶̻̀͜s̷̭̀ȟ̵͈͘?̸̥̠͒̆ ̴̼͝T̵̢̜̋͠h̸̗̻̔̓ą̷̢͂̅ṱ̴͆ ̴͉̍̏s̶̫͍͛ő̸̫͜u̶̥̓̚ń̵̬̣d̴̺̎s̷̩̞̚ ̶̡͊̇à̸̙ ̷̟̲͆b̷͎͒̀ͅĩ̸̳͝t̴͖̭́ ̵͕͉̈́͊s̸̩̚h̶̪͑͒͜ǐ̴̲͔̅t̶̳̟͐͝.̷̝̚ ̸̖́L̸̪͝i̷̧͊̿k̴̨̭̈̄ē̴̪ ̴̻̄ā̵̪̆ ̵̮̮̇̃f̵͚͂ŗ̴̤͝a̵̡͆t̶̡̜͊ ̷͈͠b̷͖̆o̷͈̾͐ỳ̷̹̺́.̶̱͂̍]

" mhmmmm... how about Jefferem?

( Important note, I've only watched the edited version of HLVRAI. I'm currently watching the full streams and I have realised this will probably result in me changing some things. But I'm going to just continue on rambling and come back if I wanna edit something. Also, I apologise if anything is OOC it's been a few months since I watched the series.)

So, as I left off, Gman was introducing himself to this scientist - who was the only other entity out of bounds who wasn't frozen.

The reason why he was asking for his name was really to make sure he could talk, because then if Gman tested something with this scientist, Gman would be able have a better idea of the effects.

Now, Gman already knew this man's name, the model was called 'Slick' in the menu Gman was able to pull up. So, obviously there was no need to ask for his name-

" Uhh- My name's Tommy!"

Well, that wasn't... perhaps the model name wasn't the set name? No matter, names didn't matter. It was a mindless pleasantry he had no business nor time to over think.

Gman pulled up the Gmod menu. He still didn't know how to operate it completely, but as long as he was cautious and didn't press things willy nilly he'd be fine-

...

...

...

To make a short story shorter, they soon sat in a roofless Dunkin Donuts in the middle of the void after Tommy had summoned it from Gman's Gmod menu when the older man wasn't looking.

Gman sat cross armed as the scientist enjoyed a slushy. He supposed they could spare a moment - he wasn't pleased, but he wanted this scientist alive for now, he didn't have any other options.

Besides, he could sense that Mister Freeman (❄︎☟︎☜︎ ☼︎☜︎✌︎☹︎ ☝︎⚐︎☼︎👎︎⚐︎☠︎) wasn't.... ready. Wasn't... right, something was missing, and Gman knew, somewhere in the back of his head, in his code, that he needed to wait for that missing piece.

No, my bad. We're starting BEFORE the start.

Let's go back to before the main story when the program first booted up, not by Wayne ( Wayne as his CHARACTER, himself in the lore. NOT THE REAL PERSON. ) but by the creator of the mod.

I'll go more into detail about the ai side when I talk about Coomer, and more about what was going on inside Black Mesa when I talk about Benrey and Gordon a̸̖̍ñ̷̨̖͝d̴͖̍̅̍ ̷̻̋̈̄͘Ḡ̴̛̗͈͠ó̸̢̰̰r̸̞͖̠̞͒̐d̸̢̠̹̅̾͆͝ó̷͉̱̩̂̂n̵̻͇̮̖͐

For now, to start, I'll be talking about outside Black Mesa. Outside the map, out of bounds.

Gman.

He, as a character, is already very 'aware' in the canon HL lore. By aware I mean he has more knowledge about everything that's going on in the story and is quite powerful - so to say.

So combine that with the ' self aware ai code ' and you get a character who in lore is an interdimensional reality bending bureaucrat with the knowledge that the world he resides in is a game. A set, scripted and fixed story with preplanned events.

It was an ironic contradiction. He was supposed to be limitless - well, he had to obey his ' employers ' who are just concepts implanted into his head and not physical characters - and yet he was limited by the game.

He'd spawned in out of bounds, suspended in the void like npc's which were frozen, unloaded, not even moving nor breathing, unlike them however, he was not frozen - this did not mean he could move. He could see Black Mesa floating untethered like himself and the other unmoving bodies he could see in the distance.

Since this had all been imported from Half Life into Gmod, some things had loaded.... incorrectly. Minor mistakes. Like a scientist, a very much moving scientist, suspended right by a wall of the map, he'd spawned in incorrectly and was now trapped.

Gman took this opportunity and went on over to this scientist npc, introducing himself and asking for the other man's name - not out of the kindness of his own heart you see, at first, like I said, he could not move, but this is Gman, so it didn't take too awful long not like he could tell the time to figure out how to access the Gmod menu, he figured out how to allow for himself to move around without falling into the nothing.

As I said, the aim of this small talk was not to be pleasant, this was the start of his plan. You see, in an environment you are unsure about, it's always best to be able to test things. This scientist was going to be his test, his guinea pig, a human meat shield.

There's two sides to this au -> The Real World and The Game World.

I'll focus on The Real World right now, because I wanna ramble on about that and WOW did I not do it justice when ' writing ' this au.

(So. Basically one thing to keep in mind is that when I made this au The Player thing wasn't confirmed! So, because I didn't want to say Wayne because I personally think it's weird to act like real people are characters, I named 'The Player' Walter Martinis. )

( Because like... the breaking bad stream... yeah. Basically Walter is The Player. Okay? So. Like. He's Gordon... but not- ILL GET INTO IT WHEN I TALK ABOUT THE GAME! )

Back to Walter / The Player!!

Part 1. Yup, back with the parts. This is the stuff I have already shared.

TW. ADDICTION.

- Now. To explain this. The ' mystery person ' who sent Walter the link to the game is the game. It's like... a carnivorous plant. Drawing in victims. Like a parasite, because it wants someone to play it, to keep it on but also to draw said player into the game. It's been...mostly unsuccessful to keep it vague.

- Walter goes into a trace-like state as he boots up a stream and plays the game. This is because of the game. It's addicting, it gives Walter the feeling of escapism and draws out his emotions to keep him playing, and it does. He ends up playing for the whole night multiple times, because the game distorted his sense of time passing.

- Walter was basically isolating himself during HLVRAI, he was neglecting his own needs because the game was literally all he could think of.

- The controllers and headset sticking is because, like I said, the game wants to keep him playing but also draw him into the game. It's better seen here. The game distorted his memories, sense of time, and also. Uh. Literally making his hand numb. Because it's starting to suck him in.

- The skeletons are important. Very important.