The guy had some real bangers
By: Steve Stewart-Williams
Published: Dec 16, 2025
This is the latest in my quotes collection series. Check out the full collection here.
The iconoclastic journalist Christopher Hitchens died fourteen years ago today, after a brief but spirited battle with cancer. Hitchens was a famously uneven and exasperating thinker - but when he got it right, he got it right with style. Here are my top ten favorite Hitch quotes.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.” [This is now known as Hitchens’ razor, and it’s an extremely useful intellectual tool.]
“To whom do you award the right to decide which speech is harmful or who is the harmful speaker? To whom would you delegate the task of deciding for you what you could read?”
“I learned that very often the most intolerant and narrow-minded people are the ones who congratulate themselves on their tolerance and open-mindedness.”
“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”
“If someone tells me that I’ve hurt their feelings, I say, ‘I’m still waiting to hear what your point is.’ I’m very depressed how in this country you can be told, ‘That’s offensive!’ as if those two words constitute an argument.”
“Those who are determined to be ‘offended’ will discover a provocation somewhere. We cannot possibly adjust enough to please the fanatics, and it is degrading to make the attempt.”
“I have one consistency, which is being against the totalitarian – on the left and on the right. The totalitarian, to me, is the enemy; the one that’s absolute, the one that wants control over the inside of your head, not just your actions and your taxes.”
“When you hear people demanding that the Ten Commandments be displayed in courtrooms and schoolrooms, always be sure to ask which set. It works every time.”
“The four most overrated things in the world are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics.”
“Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.”
Bonus Hitch Content: Here’s the speech where Quote #2 comes from:
