#hisache

❛❛    you know,    i didn’t quite realize i was so out of control until i met the manager of the grill a few hours ago,   and he was all like,   ‘    ay,   you can’t come in here,   we’re closed,   and you have an unconscious guy all over your shoulder,   ‘    and i was like,    ‘    don’t judge me.   ‘    so then i gave him a heart attack        tried to.   but all it did was make him vomit uncontrollably,   which was like,    ‘    ugh,   alright,   let’s stop that.    ‘     so i tried it again and    . . .    i think i broke his spine?    i mean,   i’m not really sure because the third time i tried the spell,    he kind of exploded blood.    ❜❜

                                                         ❛❛     whoops.    ❜❜

❛    YOU.      hot  guy  with  the  glasses.     where’s  the  party  tonight?      hot  guys  with  glasses  always  know  where  the  party  is.   ❜

                ❛❛      it’s  unhealthy  to  do  these  things     ,     they  tell  me     .     they  say  ‘  it’s  time  to  stop  smoking    ,     time  to  stop  gambling    ,     and   damn  it     ,      if  you  don’t  stop  drinking     ,     it’ll  kill  you    .   ‘      i  sure  hope  they’re  right     .      ❜❜

❛❛     yeah    . . .                do you have a car?   ‘cause,   take offense all you want,    but you have to earn the right to get in my camaro.   like,   a level five friendship type of deal.   i haven’t even decided if you’re on level one.    ❜❜

ask him if he’s into conspiracy theories