#himym thoughts

On my hate of Ted’s relapse in season 7:

Rewatching HIMYM and of course, I’m sad again at how much I loved it sans Ted’s suddenly thinking he’s in love with Robin again after Drunk Train. It pisses me off so much, and which there were comments on how it made sense because Ted was just so down on himself that he had stooped so low as to try to get girls on the train and be so far away from his goal—I would have believed that but the ensuing episodes definitely show this wasn’t the case. Drunk Train was season 7 episode 16. They broke up at the end of season 2 and only had a heart to heart about how difficult the break up was a few episodes later, and casual sex along with screaming and anger mid season 3. Never once in between does Ted actually like her again except when Barney wanted her and he read his letter—which I’ll account for as him being down and logically and/or nostalgically thinking they would work again, rather than current feelings. I would have wanted him to be depressed because being around happy people or people that he’s jealous of or something, because that’s relatable and understandable. But him being upset that Robin was marrying someone that wasn’t him when she never expressed being in romantic love with him for the past 6 years just makes me despise Ted. And I don’t despise him, but when I take a step back, that act makes me really hate him. And like.... Ross in Friends was a horrible human. I cannot vouch for him in that he wanted to be a good human—Ross thought he was a good human when he wasn’t. But Ted really did want to be a good human. And it upsets me that this is where the line is drawn, where he believes he deserves Robin more than Barney, more than anyone, when she never showed interest in him again.

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A brief touch on my hate of Robin’s character in love:

I don’t hate Robin as a human or a character in general. But I severely hate how she was the writers’ ultimate princess on a pedestal and never thought about how she’s not a prize, but she needs to work for happiness. Never once does she work for any of her relationships. She’s incredibly selfish—and hey, that’s fine because I am and all humans are to a degree, but she’s not allowed to stay selfish and get any and every happy ending. That pisses me off to no end. I agree with the people that say Robin didn’t deserve Ted—but in reality, it was more that Ted deserved better. She never made any grand gesture for Ted or Barney when they both tried to give her anything and everything they had. I’m unsure if in any relationship she put herself on the line. I think after Don, she stopped. I think Don got the best of her, but Don didn’t quite treat her well. Kevin was the best match for her because he helped simmer her crazy and he could be a little crazier with her, but really she didn’t offer anything consciously.

She was unwilling to compromise in season 2, and she never changed throughout—she only revealed parts of her that she kept hidden. The writers made her sane and insane, kind and cruel, and every other paradox so she could fit into anything they wanted and seem rounded out even when she wasn’t. The writers kept her as this ideal girl and never understood that girls can have character development too. (Not that anyone besides Barney really had character development—which is also why everyone was rooting for him, not Ted.) The things she’d give up for Barney, she never cared about. The dogs she gave up for Ted in season 2 were her only attempt at dipping her toes in the water, but then the writers just never made her swim again (not that she should have given away her dogs for Ted). As the series progressed, it felt like she didn’t care about anything. That’s why she was consistently able to swing into a new relationship on the same day after a breakup. Because they made Robin sane enough, no one had to doubt her love and she never had to prove it. But now it all seems like a desperate girl who is afraid to be alone and has no idea what she wanted (continued in next section).

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On the deleted Robin x Ted lunch finale scene in 2020 and how it impacts the ending:

Josh Radnor said he hoped the writers kept that in the finale because it showed that Ted wasn’t always pining for Robin when he was with Tracy, and that Robin loved and was thinking about Ted as much if not more. I agree with the first part, definitely not the latter.

Before I discuss how I interpreted that scene, here is how I interpret the two endings of HIMYM vs the ideals of the fans (from my perspective).

The ending where Tracy dies and Ted gets with Robin at the end:

Pros: 

The fan theory that maybe this is a happy ending because Tracy gets to be with Max in Heaven, Ted and Robin (and Ted got the kids he wanted and Robin got her career), and Barney and his daughter.

I guess the writers get to use their original footage, but like that doesn’t really warrant a number.

Cons: 

Like Josh Radnor said, it makes it seem like Ted was in love with Robin even when he was with Tracy.

Season 8 and 9 were a total bust and a LOT of the footage and most meaningful and dramatic scenes (absolutely EVERYTHING WITH TED) were a WASTE of viewer emotion. Like I legitimately regret giving any fucks about Ted’s emotions, that lying sonuvabitch.

If it is meant to be like Robin and Ted are soul mates and belong together, the ENTIRE SEASON 3-9 made the fans believe that either 1. NO THEY’RE NOT, or 2. soul mates are STUPID and a LIE and not as amazing as Lily and Marshall made it seem. And if not, then it perpetuates that soul mates aren’t a thing.

It makes it seem that if a guy pines after a girl enough, he’ll fucking get her eventually. No one on the face of at least Democratic America wants white guys to get that message, wtf.

By perpetuating Pro #1, it further makes Tracy to be a vehicle for Ted’s children and not really anything else. Kinda ties into Con #1.

The ending where Tracy is alive (actually this doesn’t matter to me) where Robin and Ted don’t get together at the end:

Pros:

The hope and dream and ideal that a soul mate (Tracy) exists at the end of the suffering—the thing that made Ted such a good protagonist—lives on. And is finally accomplished. And we can be happy for Ted, while believing in love and life ourselves. (This is the main fucking point, in contrast to Con #3 of the previous end.)

The reassurance that even if you think you’re in love now and it’s not working out, one day, you’ll GET THE FUCK OVER IT

The hope that all the love you give out will be reciprocated (this is different than #1 for me simply based on Tracy’s personality, rather than the fact that Ted ended up with someone that wasn’t Robin. Because Tracy was kind to him and wanted to make Ted happy. Robin never tried to make Ted happy, she just rolled with the punches.)

The fact that the drumroll, the build up, the suspense of the story led to actual grandeur and a happy end, and not a fake out like the other ending. (Different from the above because this is simply the storyline, and how this way wouldn’t be like a “haha, [the ending] was in front of you the entire time!”)

Cons:

No footage of the kids?

No non-sappy way to end that doesn’t make everyone hate the writers?

No reason why Ted is telling this story to his kids?

Like honestly, while sappy, there is no con to a happy ending

Now, let’s retrace the first betrayal ending with the dinner scene:

Pros:

Yes, it does look like Ted loved Tracy / didn’t pine after Robin in his head. And yes, this was something that killed everyone in the finale and thus was a big thing.

If Ted x Robin occurs, you still get the Pro #1 fan theory.

Cons:

It doesn’t look like Robin was in love with Ted even if she admits to thinking about him. It instead just looks like she regretted her life and selfishly wanted him because he treated her well, even when she never had any intention of giving him what he wanted. 

Also the awkward thing about Robin kinda trying to get him back when he has a family and alive wife at that point in time.

If this continued with the Robin x Ted thing, it doesn’t really make it seem that Ted was head over heels magically in love with Tracy during this time. His quote, “Happiness is when you stop thinking about the ifs,” would instead be interpreted as if he settled and didn’t want any risks. And, considering he met her after Robin was married, and had kids with her while Robin was still married, this would further incriminate that thought.  Happiness is not love, but the stability of knowing that this relationship... is stable. Ted, despite having cheated on Victoria when she was in Germany with Robin, has never struck me as a cheater. He has always struck me, even in the lowest and crappiest and sleaziest of times, as someone who wanted to treasure the people around him. The fact that he was unnerved by Robin’s confession because he had Tracy and his family did not feel to me that it was because he loved Tracy, but because it was stable, it was his, and he had stopped thinking about Robin when she wasn’t there.

If Ted x Robin get together still, a la Con #1, I cannot be happy for them. Why? What the writer showed us in the original is that Ted has always pined for Robin. This lunch scene was supposed to dispose of that. But, then, it becomes that Robin wants Ted and Ted is like “I always cared about her and it’s been 6 years and I’m lonely.” And yes, this is much better than the original betrayal ending. But it’s still not a happy ending. Ted gets with her because he’s lonely, not because she’s the “one” anymore. And no one cares about that (and it’ll always be overshadowed by the ANNOYANCE OF TED IN SEASON 8-9). Robin gets together with Ted because she’s lonely, regrets many things in her life, and she knows Ted would treat her well (despite never self-reflecting that she doesn’t offer him anything because he always blindly accepted everything about her). That’s not a happy ending, nor an ending worth giving my feelings for, though admittedly more satisfactory than the original.

Overall, the show is supposed to be about how he meets the mother. How he meets his wife. How he falls in love with her. The audience is wanting to watch him fall in love. And after so many seasons of him being alone, the build up becomes grander. We want to believe that at the end of the tunnel is salvation. That this relatable, kind character will be blessed with happiness and love equal or greater to what he’s given. We like the character, and we want him to be happy. And he was never happy pining after Robin. We want to relate to his struggles, but we want him to be rewarded. We want to believe we too will be rewarded. The original ending didn’t do that. I can’t understand how anyone doesn’t understand the backlash after properly watching the show (and being a sane romantic, which should be the prime audience of this show).

So no, I will never forgive that ending.

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And just because I’m ranting,

On what I think about Robin and Barney.

I honestly don’t care if they stayed married or not. Married doesn’t solve problems between a couple. I don’t like them getting divorced from a conservative perspective, but I also don’t see them doing well in the construct of marriage (which also goes for Robin and Ted, but Robin was always portrayed as sane when with Ted. Though really, she would suck at marriage and kids. When she was with Ted, it was literally just sex. And her being his roommate showed that all non-lust side was incompatible. But I digress).

But, I dislike that the finale gave Barney a daughter as a band-aid and made it seem all right.

I can imagine Robin and Barney always fighting. I can imagine it going as far as a divorce. But I can’t imagine it getting to a point where Barney stops trying and stops caring. Because he tried throughout the seasons and he couldn’t. Why, when he gets her, would he stop. Robin never tried, and I can see her falling out of love because she’s incapable of loving (at least for everyone after Don), only of accepting love and using them as a crutch. But Barney really tried and season 8 showed it in tangible measures. While I understand that a one-way street will eventually reach a dead-end (actually I don’t think that’s true, but for the sake of a lack of a better metaphor), the fact that at that point Robin didn’t step it up makes me hate any ending that would end up with her and Ted even more. Yes, Barney was a pig. But he was able to win over the audience into making us believe that he is capable of loving someone. And Robin never did.

I can imagine Barney giving Robin space if she asked, which includes the divorce. But to try to convince us, the audience, into believing that he stopped loving her and stopped showing it in his side glances and gentle grins pisses me the fuck off. I don’t need them married, I don’t need them constantly together. But they’re a couple where I trust Barney to keep going back to as home.

Also that daughter thing—while cute in theory, Barney had an episode about his previous wing bro having knocked up a girl and being a father and it destroying his personality. I can really only imagine this as being how it winds up. I do think Barney would be a good father. And I do think that if Barney is with Robin, he would not have that chance. But I also think that Barney would always love Robin more than enough to be willing to give that up. Unlike Ted, I believe Barney if he said he’d be willing to give it all up without regretting it for the rest of his life. I hate that Barney wasn’t allowed to remain the metamorphosed character at the end of all of his character development. They had to revert all the things to give him a daughter. They didn’t even give him some sort of back story to how the hell he could fuck up the protection when he had sex with over 200 girls without issues. Yeah I’m salty about the shitty and inconsistent writing/storytelling.

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On whether I care if Tracy dies:

Not too much, because I understand that things happen. It does make me sad if we are made to think she and Ted are soulmates, only for her to die early. While I do agree that her early death and making Max her soul mate does sound cute, I refuse to believe for eternity that Robin was Ted’s soul mate, so leaving Ted without a soul mate would also piss me off about this story and basically Ted would be equivalent as Barney knocking up someone, but with a nanny that happens to be the mother of the children. So the answer is no because then we need to destroy the concept of soul mates. So this is why I would like Tracy to live, though I’m not mad at her dying.

Obviously from a storytelling perspective, it would be weird for Ted to tell his kids his whole dating history just to finally skim through his meeting with the mother and she is still alive. But really we gave no shits about why Ted was discussing all these pointless things to his kids, so that continuity isn’t needed if it destroys our hopes and ideals.

I get stupid, and I think about my future wife. Like I imagine what she's like.

But then I think about where she is, I have no clue who she is and what's she doing.

Maybe I was with her tonight, maybe she swiped no on me on tinder.

I honestly can't stop thinking about this because it bothers me.

With 100% honesty, I can tell you that I haven't watched a single How I Met Your Mother episode in full since the finale. I'm still completely ruined and heartbroken over it. Every time I think I'm starting to move past it, I see an interview, an alternate ending, a tweet, something that pisses me off all over again.

In the past few days, we have (once again) gotten mixed signals from Neil. In his Sirius Radio interview, he completely defended the finale and everything in it. Completely. He was asked directly and told this girl she was wrong for thinking it ruined the series moral. And then we have that page from his book that gives the impression that maybe he understands exactly why everyone is so pissed.

What am I supposed to believe here, Neil?

And everything he said in that interview about why those choices did make sense was just a complete and utter bullshit argument that I can find many holes in. "It was a very adult ending". Ok. Whatever.

Yes, you read that right. No, I haven't changed my mind -- I still hated "Last Forever" and I'm still quite pissed 3 days later. But there was a good message in there trying to rear its head, and it deserves to be acknowledged... even if it wasn't executed well. 

I really do get what they were trying to do by killing off Tracy. They were trying to show that sometimes love doesn't last forever, and that when that happens it's hard to move on but you have to do it. You can't live in the past. 

We all know that the show fucked that message up the ass when they undid everyone's character development and sent Ted running back to Robin, but I have seen a large amount of people claim that this ruined Ted & Tracy's relationship for them. That it made it seem like he never loved her at all and was only using her for her fertile womb while he waited for Robin. And okay, I'm not going to defend the shitty pacing that leads to this interpretation, or the fact that Ted's idea of moving on is chasing after an old flame he broke up with 25 years ago. But I will defend his love for Tracy. 

My mother passed away last summer. My father, who was with her for nearly 3 decades, has said repeatedly that she was his true love. Now, if he came up to me in 6 years and told me he'd fallen in love again, I'd be all for it. Of course I'd be a little creeped out if he got back with one of his old girlfriends but still I'd want him to be happy, like Penny & Luke wanted their dad to be happy. I wouldn't feel as if he were betraying my mother's memory, or that he didn't love her as much as he claimed -- loving someone new doesn't negate or depreciate the love you once felt for another. Tracy doesn't retroactively become less of Ted's soulmate just because he found love again after she died.

the saddest part of HIMYM finale was the fact that Ted spend all of his time looking for his perfect match that he'll spend the rest of his life with, he wanted a real marriage, that was his  dream. He wanted to marry the love of his life, have kids and grow old together. But after all the wait and search for the right one. When he finally found her, they had such a short period of time together…. It's not fair! They didn't even get the change to raise their kids together, they should have got more time, at least a little more. 

What I don't understand is that Ted, would never marry someone that he doesn't think she is the right one and there should be just one "right one" so how can he be so happy and be a perfect match with her, if he never even got over and forgot Robin? 

Maybe I was expecting an ending like in the fairytales for this show and for Ted but the ending was so fucking real and that made me more sad! 

He always said that when you meet the "one" you'll know it somehow and he knew with "the mother" but not Robin. Robin wasn't the love of his life, she was an obsession and he never forgotten her but he always had doubts if she was the one. Than how can Robin be the one?! What was the mother for??? 

For Robin it was the same thing, she always had doubts and she seemed like she loved more Barney… I mean she got married to him! Both of them were sure of the people they got married to, specially Ted. I know people move on and stuff and Ted can't just move on from "the love of his life" to someone he dated and never got over from… That means when he was married, he also thought of Robin… well than he never married with "the one" but she was the one….