#himsters

I’m not usually a writer but it has come to that time where it all comes and sinks in. My favorite band has said it last goodbye.

HIM has been an important part of my life, they were there on my worst days and on the best ones. I had the opportunity to see them live 2 times in Mexico City, and they were the best days of my life.

I found them though browsing music almost 15 years ago, and the very first son I heard was “Your sweet 666″, in that moment I fell in love with the music and his voice. I was so drawn into the song that I searched for more. 

Every lyric is full of millions of interpretations, and for me they  were calming. 

Unfortunately where I currently live was and it´s still very hard to get their cd’s, so I had to wait to get hold of their albums whenever I went to Mexico, and that was’t very often. But little by little I started getting hold of their albums. 

My very first show was in Mexico City for the Tears on Tape tour, and I was lucky enough to share it with my brother, that also likes their music but not as much as me.  That show was the best thing that ever happened to me back then, I sang along, danced and screamed, his voice, the music, and the lyrics meant even more then that they ever did before. I came back with the illusion that I would see them live again, and I did, only this time to say goodbye.

I have no words to describe how much they changed my life, how much they mean to me, they thought me that it’s ok to be heartbroken, that there are so many ways to say I love you, and to say I’m here for you.

All I have left to say is Thank You for everything, although id not enough.

It took me a while before I found the courage to talk about it here. So yes, as we all know by now HIM is disbanding. Just writing the words hurts like hell. I still can't believe it's happening. When you've been hanging onto something so dear to your heart, you tend to take it for granted and think that it will last forever. HIM is and has always been more than a band to me.

They shaped the person I am today, they brought me the most amazing friendships and unexpected love. If it wasn’t for them, my life would litterally be completely different. I would never have met my girlfriend in here by fangirling over them and then moved countries to be with her. I wouldn’t have so many incredible and loyal friends that I met because of out love for them.

I was a lost 13 year old kid when I heard their music for the first time and what they gave me then cannot ever be forgotten. Acceptance, empowerment, courage and love.Their music, interviews, everything about them pushed me into being the best version of myself that I could be. They were warm and comforting in times of need. HIM has always been a huge part of me and my safety blanket. That is why I just cannot accept or concede it to be ending, because they always were more than a band. They will always be a part of me no matter what happens, I will always rely on them and have their posters on my walls. I will always follow, support and love every single member in their future projects and keep on being the giant HIM nerd I have always been. I can't deny that it hurts immensly and breaks my heart but I need to respect their choice, that's the least I can do. Just remember that as long as we are here to cherish what they've given us, HIM will never be over.

I will in a way or another go to at least one of the announced lives. Most likely in Koln with my girlfriend and perhaps Hamburg (Germany), also seriously considering Amsterdam. Let me know if you guys go to one of these or somewhere else. If any of you would like to meet up it would be amazing.

I love every single one of you and will always be here for you, will keep on posting HIM related things forever.