#hime.

I hope I got the right one but I’d be totally in for that one

I’m HIME’s mun and recently, I have been noticing there has been a lot of hatred towards me and my character. I don’t tolerate hate of any kind since I have my own personal problems to deal with. I have a serious illness to which I’m taking treatment for and have been for over a year now. As such, one of my top priorities is to not be stressed because it will worsen my symptoms. Even with said treatment. Thankfully I’m doing a lot better since last year. (Mid-January of 2014 I have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis otherwise also known as MS) Ontop of all of this, I also suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. There’s more to it but I’m beginning to get off topic here. Anyway, I’m not entirely sure what has spawned such hostile feelings towards me as a Mun unless it has something to do with the shitstorm that has happened in the past in which case I have already moved on because honestly, I have better things to be concerned about instead of worrying about what someone on the internet, miles away from me thinks about me based on their own personal beliefs and/or views. I have done a lot of growing up since the incident has occurred but still, I see some cling to the past like as if it were their dearest child and they hold grudges against me. Why? I honestly don’t know why. I don’t bother with such people anymore because I know that I’m a lost cause to them and they refuse to contact me and attempt to patch matters up like civilized adults. If and when I do happen to contact them, I get outed (without my consent since I don’t want people to see a conversation that was meant to be private in the first place) or I get ignored. I personally found the whole shitstorm in the past to be extremely petty. It was just not something to cause such a scene over. Anyway, I also noticed that some people mix IC and OOC together. Overall, this is enough reason for me to not even write OOC to typists anymore. There is only a select few I speak with nowadays. I say this because I get fearful and of course, I get timid but I also don’t want to be reminded of my mistakes and I certainly don’t want my wrongdoings held against me. Especially since it’s in the past where it belongs. I’m not going to publicly out these people since I was raised better than that. Unlike a certain someone who has done so with me which is completely disrespectful. Regardless, I’m someone who feels uncomfortable going OOC to begin with, anyway. It would be best to not force OOC conversations upon me unless I instigate it first which is rare unless I’ve taken a liking to you. As a mun, I had gotten some form of hate for the past 2 years of me writing on Tumblr. despite all of this hatred spewing around as of late, I never once hated anyone nor am I someone who would waste their time holding a grudge. In regards to those who dislike and/or hate me, you can say all you want about me. You can speak as if you know me (when in reality, you truly don’t) but it will not change the fact that your words will always be opinion. Because that’s just what they are: Opinions. Nothing more than just your own personal views and/or beliefs. Some have told me to let it go and to ignore the hate but when you have people out there who want to slander your name, who want to ruin you and your muses… well, you grow fearful. You get scared of logging on and hoping no one is writing hate about you or even worry about people speaking behind your back. Because I know that, by experience, during my 2 years of writing on here… That I have made both friends and enemies alike. I don’t hate nor do I dislike anyone but I know there are people who do happen to dislike or even hate me for whatever reason. I also know there are people who love me and would be devistated if I left the community. Good news for those who actually care: I don’t plan on leaving nor will I ever deactivate again. I deactivated once due to hate. I’m not going to make that mistake again. Now, I’m not going to deny that I know there’s also kindness in the community but it’s overall riddled with hatred. I know there are people who care about me as both muse and mun but it doesn’t excuse the fact that people don’t usually tend to think before they speak hence the harsh words being spewed out. Honestly, this website suffers from an extreme case of superiority complex. People “confess” this or they “confess” that about others. Mainly in the form of negativity. It’s honestly vomit-inducing to see hate not only in real life but also on this whole god-forsaken website. But then again, this is the internet.

People will abuse anonymity no matter what.

People will always nitpick at each other’s flaws no matter what.

People will always be hateful no matter what.

People will forget that behind the screen, there is a real human being with real emotions.

I’m honestly not afraid to show my face and I’m not afraid to share my experiences with what is now a toxic and hostile community. It used to be fun and I used to be around a lot more often. Now? I’m online less compared to the past. In regard to the Tumblr RP community as a whole (Maybe moreorso specifically towards the JRP portion of Tumblr RP since I’m unfamiliar with the KRP portion of Tumblr RP), I’m almost certain that this community is not a lost cause and maybe… just maybe it can be to what it once was. One of the methods that I advise in where this community can be what once used to be (or at least something close to what it once was) is if people can help spread kindness instead of hate. That’s the first step in trying to better this community. Because why would you deliberately go out of your way to send someone hate as anonymous? The anonymous button wasn’t made so you can hide your face and send someone such hurtful words but I also am going to say that that the world is getting more and more sensitive over petty things. over trivial things so do remind yourself that some things are not worth getting upset over.

Think before you speak and please do remember that kindness goes a long way.

Hyper Arigataki for reading🍄♡

~ HIME’s mun