#high schoo

you fell asleep at your brothers that night, but not really. yeah, he let you stay over but you weren’t able to sleep much.

you didn’t think jake could be that low. it hurt; it really did. but an asshole like him wouldn’t understand that.

you just wanted to get away from everything. school, home, your dad, jake, everything. but it’s not that easy.

you begged your brother to let you stay but he practically forced you to head home. thankfully it was the weekend but still, he didn’t want their parents to get worried about you.

when you got home, you were greeted by you father who looked upset, of course. “Where were you last night?” he said rubbing his temple in frustration. “I slept over at oppa’s” you said, cringing.

“What about school?” he said. “What do you mean” you panicked. “I know you skipped y/n!” he rose his voice. you squinted and processed what was happening. “Did I?” you said which you soon regretted.

he slapped you. you turned to him with your jaw dropped and tears forming in your eyes.

“y/n..” you heard a soft voice, jake? you turned to him with tears rolling down your face. you could see the pity in his eyes which made you feel even more pathetic.

your dad had never physically hurt you, only through speak. This pained you so much, how could your dad do this without even a tiny bit of sorry in his eyes. you walked away to your room, avoiding both makes after what your dad did and jake witnessed.

you later down and sobbed. your heart hurt so much from everything that has been going on at school and at home. you had no peace no matter where you were.

why was jake even here in the first place?

You eventually calmed down and got up from laying in your bed. you left your house and walked over to jakes house.

you knocked on the door, which was soon opened by Mrs. Sim. she looked worried and confused. “y/n? are you okay?” once she said, you broke down once more. tears began flooding your already puffy eyes as you shook your head while running in to give her a hug. “no.” you said, hugging her.

“Can you tell us what happened Hun?” Jakes parents asked you; you looked down. “Dad and I fought, and I really don’t want to be at home right now.” you bit the inside of you lip, hoping they wouldn’t send you home. “Okay, sweetie, you can stay however long you would like, let me just call your mother.” Mrs. Sim said.

you kept crying, replaying the moment over and over again, you couldn’t believe it. Mr. Sim came over to you and gave you a side hug. “I just don’t understand.” you cried to him. he nodded and patted you back.

Mrs. Sim let your mom know that you were staying with them and that you were alright. You were sitting at the desk in the spare bedroom, which you were staying in.

Jakes parents let you know that you could eat whatever you wanted, so you decided to head to the kitchen where all Mrs. Sim’s delicious food was. Jake's parents were out for a while due to something business related but would be back soon.

you opened the fridge to the smell of fresh kimchi and homemade tea. you took the tea and poured some into a glass.

“hey.” you heard. You looked up to see jake standing on the other side of the table. “What.” you said, avoiding eye contact with him. “You know...” he began, slowly. “What? are you going to tell kids at school that my dad hits me too?” you said, clearly upset. “I didn’t mean to see that.” he said, you scoffed. “Yet you still stood there and watched.” you glared.

“y/n, you don’t understand.” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand? no, you don’t understand and that’s what I hate about you!” you yelled.

"You hate me?" he asked, coming closer. You backed up. "I was the one trying to get you away from your dad." he pushed you against a surface. "Yet, you still hate me?" he whispered in your ear. "What are you talking about?" you ask. "After what happened at school, I.." he paused his explanation. "I actually felt bad about what happened, so I tried convincing your dad to have you switch schools, because I know home much you hate ours." he finished. "So, you actually felt-" "We're home!" you got cut off by Jake's parents voices. You pushed Jake away and smiled as they entered the room.

"How are you doing, Hun?" Mrs. Sim asked while putting her things down. You smiled and nodded. "I'm doing okay." You gave a simple answer. She began to ask something but got interrupted her, she got a phone call. "One second" she said, you nodded. You tried reading her face, she looked confused and upset. Once she got off the phone, she walked back over to you slowly. "Bad news." she sighed, you looked at her with curiosity. "you mom just called and said that you father wanted you home." she said. you laughed "that's it? it's not going to be that easy." you scoffed. "no, he also said that you're going to be transferred to another school." she said. "Oh, I already-" "in the states..." she cut you off. you stopped. "What." your eyes widened. "THE STATES?" you asked with confusion. she nodded slowly. "I'm going to bed." you said, lying.

you ran up to Jake's room and knocked on the door quickly. he opened the door "what?" he asked. You pushed him into his room and walked inside, closing the door behind you. "Do you hate me that much?" you started tearing up. "Huh?" he said. "I get you hate me, but do you hate me enough to convince my dad to ship me off the states?" you raised your voice a little, feeling frustrated. "Hey, hey, calm down. what?" he said with a soothing voice. "No! I can't stay calm when I'm literally getting sent thousands of miles away from everyone I know and love!" you screamed at him. "No, no that's not what I was intending." he had pity in his eyes as he let out his soft voice. "Yeah whatever, go to hell Jake." you said before leaving his room.

Although you dad wanted your home, you decided to just stay the night and go home in the morning. You eventually fell asleep with you and Jake's "talk" on mind.

You woke up around 7 am and greeted everyone goodbye, except jake, you just sort of glared at him. Which you knew you would regret later on but for now your still upset and didn't feel like talking to him.

When you got home, thankfully, your dad didn't scream of hit you, he just said, "Go get packed your leaving in an hour and a half." You sighed.

God, do you hate Jake. But that's the thing, you hate him but you going to miss him so much. Why's that?

While finishing up packing, you checked you clock. "Time to go" you looked down at your feet and walked out of your room. As you were headed downstairs, you stopped when you heard that familiar voice once again. "Please sir, don't send her away! I understand that you and y/n have your ups and downs but if you do this, you probably won't ever have a relationship with her again!" He pleaded. "You're the one who suggested transferring her." Your father said, with a sharp tone. "Yes, but not to a whole different country, I meant here!" He explained. "Sir please, I... I really like her. I don't want to see her go." He said quietly, but still enough to hear. after a little bit on awkward silence, someone spoke up. "Fine, but she needs to stay out of trouble." He said sternly. Jake smiled and responded, "I'll be responsible for that!" He sounded truly happy. You blushed from everything you just heard. you squirmed a little, feeling all giddy. however, doing so made the floor beneath you creak quite loudly which then startled the other two.

You heard a sigh before a loud voice. "y/n, you're not leaving, go unpack your things." Your father said before leaving the room. dammit, you've been caught.

You peaked out the corner to see Jake standing there with his arms crossed yet, with relief shown on his face. You walked towards him. "Listen, I know you probably heard everything I said, which makes this a little awkward because I know how much you hate me but-" he began, quickly. "I don't hate you." you said, slowly. "Huh?" he questioned. "I guess I just always hated how much I liked you." you said, avoiding his eyes. He chuckled as he walked closer. "So, you're basically saying I'm irresistible." he smirked. you scoffed in response. "don't get ahead of yourself." you rolled your eyes.

"y/n" he said, you looked up to him. "Hm?" you replied. "Be my girlfriend." he eyed every little detail on your face. "Woah, woah slow down." you pushed him away. "don't you have a girlfriend, you little freak?" you crossed your arms. he laughed. "no." he said, coming closer once again. "Um? Soo-Yun, remember the annoying brat?" you questioned him. "no, she was never my girlfriend." he said nonchalantly. you were so confused. "We were faking it." he said. "Faking it?" you repeated. he nodded.

"I admit, I did dislike you at one point, so I wanted to annoy you even more by dating your enemy." he shared. you glared at him "you're my enemy now." you rolled your eyes and pushed him away once again, but he latched onto your arm and pulled you into his embrace. "I want to be your boyfriend not your enemy." He said, which caused you to blush. "It's not that easy you know." you gave him some attitude. "mhm, sure" he said before putting his hand on your nape and pulling you into a kiss.

I guess it was that easy...

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IT'S FINALLY FINISHED (or is it?????) MY APOLOGIES!!

anyway, hope you liked pt 2, once again sorry it took me so long! <33

Well, karena nikahan salah satu teman angkatan saya waktu SMA, jadilah kami semua hampir satu angkatan datang berkumpul. Kalo gak salah ini pertama kalinya saya datang ke acara dimana kami semua berkumpul secara formal, bukan acara main yang hanya dilakukan oleh sekelompok orang dari circle yang sama. Dan saya bisa menarik beberapa hal yang baru saya sadari hingga sekarang:

1. Saya orang paling jarang berkontak dan berkomunikasi dengan teman seangkatan yang lain. Semester pertama dan kedua masih seringlah ya telponan dengan beberapa orang, semester selanjutnya handphone saya hanya berisi percakapan anggota kelompok praktikum. Saya juga cenderung gak suka basa basi sama orang, bukan tipikal orang yang tetiba menanyakan kabar from out of the blue. Saya jarang silaturahim. Implikasinya I become less closer to my friends like I used to. Saya tinggal hanya di Bandung, which is just two hours away from Jakarta, where most of my friends live, tapi rasanya saya jadi orang yang paling ketinggalan info tentang teman-teman saya.

2. We grow up. This is the most significant thing yang saa rasakan. Back in high school, we used to be picky about friends. We don’t make friends with just anyone. Frankly, saya termasuk salah satu orang yang tidak semua orang mau berteman dengan saya, because I was labeled with ‘anak pintar’ ‘anak beasiswa’ dan semacamnya. Orang-orang seperti menjaga jarak dari saya. Tapi ketika kami bertemu kembali, that label just gone, faded. Kami saling menyapa layaknya teman lama (?) yang sudah lama tidak berjumpa (ini case-nya terjadi sama anak-anak yang gak deket sama saya sih). I mean... waw. What happened between us in the past few years? We don’t even talk. Saya pikir, this is how adults act. Idk, but I feel really good and relieved.

3. Saya cukup bangga karena saya tidak menjadi individu yang saya anggap buruk, karena saya bisa bertahan berada di tengah teman-teman yang notabenenya sangat jauh berbeda kondisi keluarganya dengan saya. Dan kondisi yang sangat mungkin kritis bagi anak SMA tidak membawa pengaruh buruk bagi saya hingga sekarang. Take this for example, my friends used to bought branded things (clothes, bags, shoes, and another tersier goods because yeah they have big monthly allowance) and my friends and I used to hang out every weekend. I live with less allowance and I was in high school and I didn’t feel like I wanted to be like one of them (regarding to the lifestyle). This is why I’m proud of myself, masa SMA menjadi sangat kritikal karena disanalah jati diri kita dipertanyakan. Masa remaja adalah masa dimana kita menunjukkan identitas kita, dengan apa yang kita punya, apa yang kita pakai. Semua yang menempel dan terlihat mata adalah apa yang menjadi entitas diri kita. Dan saya sangat bersyukur bahwa saya tidak mendefinisikan diri saya melalui apa yang saya miliki dan saya kenakan. I live a simple yet not so ordinary life. Saya masih bisa bertahan dengan apa yang saya miliki dulu dan sekarang, and that’s one of the things to be grateful of.

#justbeyourself

We live in the world made by our choices, somehow the present self of ours depends on the past. But that’s the thing about life, past make us who we are. My high school itself isn’t just an ordinary life tho. I am soooo happy to just meet such friends like you guys.