#hiddlevanstan

i love the premise bc every time i read a book i imagine it as a movie, and i think even though it’s impossible to please everyone it’s nice if you succeed to transport that story into movie language bc more people will know it :)

8 People I’d Like To Know Better

ONE (NAME/ALIAS ): Thais TWO (BIRTHDAY): October 2 THREE (ZODIAC SIGN): I’m a fucking Libra FOUR (HEIGHT): 5′ 5″ FIVE (TIME): 4:38pm. SIX (SLEEP): about 8/9 hours on a normal night SEVEN (FAVORITE BOOKS): The name of the Rose; The Leopard; The Snowman; Lord of the Rings: The fucking trilogy; The hobbit made my childhood too, and many others. EIGHT (FAVORITE ARTIST): Oh shit, hm... Oasis, Noel Gallagher, Kasabian, Jack White, Corey Taylor and his bands lol; and lots more! I could do this forever. NINE (LAST MOVIE WATCHED): Bent and cried like a baby watching this ;____; TEN (COLLEGE): I’m in the senior year AMEN ELEVEN (DREAM JOB): petting dogs or gain money watching tv shows/movies TWELVE (THE MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL): oh heath is/was everything to me and when I created this (yes, decades ago) the dark night was like on fire on theaters and our lives 😊😊

It’s your birthday!!!! Everytime someone talks about December 24th you’re the first thing I think about. You’ve been my best friend for over 10 years (15 to be more exact) and we’ve been addicted to talking to each other every day and we’ve been through days without talking to each other and our friendship never changed. To me is a proof of how strong our friendship is (at least I hope).

We may not talk everyday, we may live miles away from each other...but I don’t know many friendships like ours.

This is a very random post and I would advise everybody else to not read it (since it will be boring to most).

Here’s my view (and history) on frendship: 

I had many people come in and out of my life, but they were all temporary friends. I’ll explain why; most of my life, I always thought I needed to reach out to people that were in my life at a specific moment, because that’s how I felt like. If I didn’t go after them, if I didnt make that extra effort, they wouldn’t; and so they would disappear of it, fade into the mist of people I “once knew”. I felt like I didn’t matter in that friendship and, most often than not, that was the case. Not that I didn’t matter, but that I matter so little to those people that they wouldn’t make the effort to stay in touch with me.

So at one point, I was fed up. I gave up on people in general. I wouldn’t put myself through all that effort anymore, I decided that I MATTERED. To me, I did. If I didn’t to everyone else, well...that’s their loss. I decided to look up to myself, instead of looking up to everyone else.

As a result people did, unfortunally, fade away from my life. I met people here and there and, for a moment, they were truely my friends. But if distance got in our way, for whatever reason (changing school, changing college, etc), and they allowed it to, I did too; and quickly they were out of my life. Not because it was my choice, not because I didn’t care, but because I’ve had enough of caring too much, much more than they did. Here and there it it hurted, I lost people I truely believed could make a difference in my life. But most of the time, it didn’t. I accepted that people do come and go from our lives, some leave a mark, some don’t, and I was ok with it.

All this to get to this point: many people came, many are gone, but one stayed. I met someone 14 (going on 15) years a go. She has been my best friend. Through many times of my life, my only friend. And I admit, for many years of this friendship I felt the exact same way, that I didn’t matter that much. Like if I went away, she would move on, like everybody else. But for some reason I was ok with that, because she was, truely, my best friend.

At one point, however, we had a falling out. We had a fight over something really (and I mean REALLY) stupid. But it was my trigger, I guess. All of those feelings came kicking back in and I was fed up, again. We stopped talking, for months. Like, really. Not even “hi”, not even to know if we were both still alive. And it hurted me, of course, more than all the other friends I’ve lost. 

But then, something happened. After months of silence, she reached out to me. She apologized. She admitted she was wrong (what I am very aware that is very difficult for her to do). She said she couldnt keep up with that and that she missed me. She did something no one else has ever done for me: she made me feel like I mattered. She showed me that that friendship I felt about her...she did too.