@xcainn yelledĀ āGIMMEā. // technical angst call.Ā || selectively accepting.
Ā Ā Ā Ā It STARTS with a gasp of breath - the pain hitting him in the chest. Itās not real - itās not a physical pain, itās one that heās dealt with many times before. Ā The pain of being alone. Physically. Mentally. It was draining, the reason he stayed so quiet, the reason heād never gotten close to anyone. His fears conflicted; he feared being alone, but feared abandonment just as much. Thereās a lot running through his head - the recent thoughts of Cain, the way he looks at Deimos, and if he actuallyĀ needs him. It means he relies on him. That heās useful, but that one day... His usefulness will wear. Heāll no longer be need, or wanted.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Thatās what causes him to shake.
Ā Ā Ā Breathing becomes labored and hands start to shake, and he stares down at the floor, as if thatās supposed to ground him somehow, as if thatās supposed to make him feel better somehow. Itās the sound of boots - heavy on the ground that shocks him the most, body going completely rigid as he recognizes exactly whose they are. Who they belong to.Ā
Ā Ā Ā NO. He canāt see you like this. You look weak.Ā
Ā Ā He tries to steady himself, to stand, but finds himself falling forward.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āC-Cain... Cain, no... Please donāt...āĀ
Ā Ā Ā You canāt even get the words out. Itās a gut wrenching feeling, and he canāt meet Cainās eyes, let alone look towards him. HeāsĀ terrified. This was the one person he never wanted to see him this way, and he can feel nails gently dig into his thin uniform, thinner than the flight suits they wore in combat. Enough that it hurts.Ā
