#hhighkey decode

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It was a Sunday morning when Sabine trekked her way up to the Monastery. The Holy Day, it felt ironic in a sense when she realized it after leaving behind the Going Merry. Nostalgia, familiarity, sorrow laced with minor bouts of happiness hit her as she passed by the familiar sights, the sounds, the scents that had been a piece of her for so long. The small stores they frequented for candles and fabrics, sometimes sweets. The lilac field and how its wisps engulfed her, tears pricked at her eyes. 

But it was the sight of the front gates. Then of the cemetery she had to pass. Of all the statues she’d come to memorize, each tile along the pathways and their dozens of cracks. The thorny rose bushes. The lines of laundry out to dry. 

It felt as if she were coming off this great high, seemingly never ending until the doubt crept in. Mixtures of good and bad memories, the emotions raw within her as she approached. Seeing the very same windows and balconies she used to stare out from, imagining a life beyond the walls. The very same walls she allowed herself to walk back within. A tightening, coiling in her chest made it feel like the air was taken right from her lungs at the realization. 

Her heart was set. For she knew it had been long ago. Yet it was her brain that reeled, trying to make excuses to go back to the Sisterhood. It was safe, she knew it well, and she could give up her autonomy over her body and mind for good. Let herself only think of her duty, it would be easy. Right?

“My child.” The matriarch stood just inside the main doors. 

The musk of the ancient hall, the emptiness of it and all its dust, hit her full force. A heavy fog of remembrance, that the floral smell of an old dying woman that could never be masked, would be her fate. Her stomach lurched, a sinking sensation settling in. Sabine’s voice was stuck in her throat as she approached. 

“Sister,” Sabine smiled warmly, “It’s good to see you.”

“You look well.” The elderly woman replied, “I’m not surprised, perhaps disappointed.”

“What do you mean?”

Sabine then noticed the bag at the matriarch of the Monastery’s feet. The very same bag Sabine had on her when she was brought to these doors all those years ago. 

She sucked in a sharp breath as her heart hammered in her chest, suddenly beating out of tune. “Why do you have that?”

“You don’t belong here Miss Oakes. But you are dutiful, loyal, I’m worried you’d stay even if it sucked the life from you.”

“I…” She faltered. Nothing came out as she reopened her mouth, a stuttering within her brain on how to continue. 

Sabine had rehearsed great speeches during the walk. During her sleepless night on the boat, thinking what to do, what to say. Every outcome on repeat, her imagining the worse possible outcomes. Imagining trying to leave the Monastery and being trapped, being forced into a religious manic state to keep her pliant. How convincing sermons and prayers of everyone acting as one could be. It became her nightmare. 

Did it mean she wanted to leave? 

“Do not bend over backwards to convince yourself of reasons to stay.” 

Sabine teared up as a cacophony of emotion bore down on her, churned its way up through her belly and up her throat. She choked back a whimper, turning her head so to hide her glistening eyes.

“I can’t just– I can’t walk away, not after all…” Her voice broke off, “You’re right. I hated every second here, while I loved my sabbatical, as crazy as it was.” 

A moment of pure joy blossomed in her chest. Like a rose in bloom, its red petals bright and full. Lovely. As if her consciousness was released of yet another worry. First the demon of her nightmares being vanquished. And now her decision. Having to push away the thoughts of letting down those she cared for within the Sisterhood. What would the loss of one nun be in the grand scheme of things?

“Good.” The matriarch smiled warmly, “While you will no longer be an active nun, I urge you to keep your habits, keep your love for your Sisters here. It was a strange world as you know. Stranger that I had Cardinal Joseph reaching out to me, granting you a title within the church permanently for all you have done. And if you want back in well? Aren’t we supposed to be for the lost and wary?”

It meant the world. Sabine grinned, a laughter bubbling up from her throat. Even Cardinal Joseph knew she needed out! Allowed her the option of safety to have safe havens within those associated with the church, knowing she could continue to declare herself a nun with no consequences if stuck in a jam. After the betrayal of her father as a child, she supposed she would always be guarded, dealing with the trauma it wreaked on her very depths she was not aware of. She supposed things would never work out in the way they did in stories, that she wouldn’t get the joyous ending she so wanted, just one of simplistic measures. While a life at the Monastery would not have been complete misery, Sabine only saw it as a prison compared to the opportunities ahead of her. 

“Would you like to hear about everything that happened on Angelica Island?” Sabine asked, unable to wipe the grin from her face. The corners of her eyes crinkled to match the matriarch’s as they headed to her office to catch up over tea.

-

Had the sun ever shone that brightly before?

Sabine did not think so. Not when she’d been out hours prior thinking she was going back to her jail, the place that had slowly sucked the light from her. The answer had been there in front of her the moments Luffy and then Mihawk came into her life. While she now walked away from the Monastery for herself, she could not have been more appreciative for those that helped her see it. 

It was bittersweet, it probably always would be. But as she’d walked the once intimate halls of the Monastery she felt like a ghost. A spirit stuck in time waiting for its chance to move on. And she knew if she’d stay, she’d wallow, she’d descend into something darker. Because those walls felt haunted, reminders of her past and the things that were still raw. Of her mother and of her despicable father. Of the abandonment and resentment that festered she did not realize until standing in her old room, seeing the empty bed and closet. It would go to another. 

Life was moving on. And it was time for her to do so as well. 

The matriarch had given her a bundle of supplies, of a few maps and directions on the next steps she could take. A list with a few names, then a letter to the owner of the Bed&Breakfast of the small town she’d passed through to arrive. 

It was a nervous excitement that churned in her stomach, though she couldn’t deny the fear as well. She’d be foolish not to be uneasy, this new season of her life had no end date like the sabbatical. Sabine no longer considered the Monastery her fallback plan. It couldn’t be!

She felt a shift as she drew closer to town, the perimeter’s stone walls overridden with vines and sprawling flowers. As she came to the bottom of the hill the road weaved along, coming to the entrance her brain tried to catch up with what she was seeing.

Sabine came to a halt, time at a stand still around her. A euphoric quiet, the sounds of the quaint town coming to a hold. Her heart hammered in her chest as her stomach erupted in a fluttering swarm of butterflies. A choked cry of emotion came from her lips as she broke out into a grin, the ring she kept around her neck felt like it burned beneath her dress. 

Without a care in the world she flung herself into his arms, bag dropping to the grass. Because she knew he’d catch her. And he did, his familiar scent enveloping her once again after months apart. 

There in Mihawk’s arms Sabine let out a relieved laugh, squeezing her arms that wrapped around his neck. His hands firm on her waist. Electric tingles shot through her nerves, her veins feeling full of an overwhelming joy that threatened to burst at the seams. 

Their grips on the other loosened as they pulled back enough for their gazes to connect in a fiery bond. His golden eyes entranced her. Stomach in knots. Passion surged through Sabine as she reacted. 

On the tips of her toes, cupping his face in her hands Sabine pressed her lips to his. A barrage of fireworks set off inside the two as their lips moved with fervor, in disbelief that this had finally come to fruition. As if their souls intertwined as heat erupted beneath her skin, as her insides fluttered furiously. His grip on her was like he could lose her any moment, tight and to his chest. Their hearts beating in turn, quick as their pulses hiked as emotion swirled around them.

“How?” She asked in awe as they broke apart. Her breathing heavy.

“I promised after your sabbatical I would come and find you. I imagine you’ve made a decision?” He replied warmly, clearly insinuating the kiss, how effortlessly she’d pulled him into her as she could wait no longer. 

Sabine flushed pink, suddenly embarrassed of her brash actions, “Oh sorry about that, got excited.” 

He placed a kiss atop of her head, cupping her jaw to force her to look up at him. How cute her bright pink cheeks were, eyes glassy and wide. “Tell me of your time whilst we’ve been apart. Tell me all about your decision, all that went into it.” 

And she did so with renewed vigor, gripping his arm as they walked to town, afraid he would disappear at any moment. Was this truly real? Truly happening to her? How attentively he listened to the adventures she had after their time together on the Island, carefully nodding, even tensing as she told him of close calls they suffered with other pirates. 

“I want you to know,” Sabine said, stopping as they reached the Bed&Breakfast, “that I made this decision for myself, for what I wanted and not for anyone else. You just happen to be an addition to which my heart belongs.”

Mihawk brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear, her skin swarming to life from his touch. “I know, I admire that of you. My heart belongs to you as well, my dear, it had from the moment I laid eyes on you in that bar.” 

“Baratie seems like a life time ago.” She remembered some parts of it fondly, the rest not as much. “But to think, how much awaits me.” 

Mihawk’s heart ached, it felt to expand as he looked upon her shining face and all he felt was the overwhelming weight of love. Her endearing smile, eyes alit in glittering wonder, but it was the unwavering stance in her future that made him proud. Once a young woman unsure of what she wanted, or perhaps too scared to claim what she knew she needed; was now impenetrable in the future she would grasp. Mihawk only hoped she would continue to see one with him. 

“If you’ll have me by your side,” Mihawk said, voice low, “I would be honored.”

“Having a skilled swordsman might be helpful.” Sabine grinned as he chuckled from amusement. “I had plans for just myself, unsure of when we would meet. The matriarch gave me letters of places and people, but I suppose if you’d let me travel with you when safe, I would be very pleased. I have no goals for now besides to see the world and to be with you. I’m sure as time passes I’ll have more of an idea of where I want to dedicate myself.”

“It won’t always be safe to travel with me, but you’ll be safe in my home if you wish to stay there, or if I travel somewhere with a marine base I know you’ll be safe to wander to your heart’s content.”

“I was curious where you lived.” 

“I believe you’ll find it amenable.” 

Mihawk and Sabine paid for one room at the expansive Victorian style home of the Bed&Breakfast, it was on the second floor in one of the far corners. It overlooked the sea as if sat on a jagged piece of land that sat just higher than the rest of the miniature town. The waves crashed along the rocky shoreline just north of where the small port resided, an even smaller marine base to match the amount of occupants on the island. 

It was a large room with renewed wooden floors and a fading pink wallpaper, old finishings and antique furniture. Quaint and clean, Sabine smiled to herself as her fingers ran along the linen curtains with embroidered daisies as she peered out the wide window. 

As she looked to Mihawk, who stood in his glory as he carefully placed Yoru at bedside, Sabine was suddenly filled with nerves. A pleasurable yet painful fluttering that made it hard to think as heat pooled in her core. This time being alone with him in a hotel room felt different, drastic from the weeks they shared one on Angelica Island. Of course it was different, she thought, so much had changed. She had changed. And no longer would she be scared of what she wanted as it was steps away from her. 

And it seemed Mihawk had the same line of thought. He was on her in moments, grasping her waist and pulling her into him. Lips searing on hers, lightheadedness tickled the back of her mind as her knees wobbled. 

Sabine’s back met the soft bed, a soft gasp leaving her lips. She stared up at him with stars in her eyes, warm anticipation settling in her chest. Butterflies swarmed her stomach, excitement pooled in her core, so pleasurable and new that it overwhelmed her senses. She could hardly think straight as she was desperate to grasp Mihawk as he stood above her. 

He stripped himself of his jacket and shirt with ease. How handsome he was in her eyes as he did so gracefully, a sheen of sweat at her hairline as she watched him. Reveling in his chiseled muscles that made her marvel. Her body was alive in every sense. She yearned for him in a way she had never experienced before and she thought she understood wanting someone. For how she missed him had been so consuming during their time apart, she did not think another emotion would control her as this did. 

Their lips found each other as if they needed the other to breathe. Mihawk moved to carefully hover above her, holding the side of her face in one of his hands whilst the others bore his weight, planted above her head. Their hips slotted together as her legs wrapped around his waist, she could feel his hardened groin against her. 

“Mihawk.” She breathed heavily as they broke apart for just a second. His lips went to claim hers once more but stopped. His golden irises peered at her intensely. “I’ve not done this…” 

Realization flashes over his face, cheeks redding ever so slightly. “Right- a nun’s vows, permanent or not.” He remembered. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes. More than anything.”

He stole the breath from her lungs as their mouths slammed back together with a desperation only the other could quench. Sabine wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him as close as physically possible, her entrapped between his forearms, stuck between the bed and his muscled chest. She saw stars as she let out a whine, pure want wracked through her and it was becoming too much. Dizzied. Heart racing. A high pitched whine escaped her. 

Mihawk pulled back, eyes dark as he grazed a hand along her cheek. His fingers pulled at the fabric she adorned. “Your clothes, dear, may I take them off?”

She nodded in agreement, then he swiftly pulled her dress over her head. Immediately her arms went to cover herself atop her bra but as his lips descended onto her neck, moving to her collarbone, the tickle of his beard and soft words against her skin; she let him remove it too. 

Every touch had her on fire. Every stroke and every kiss felt like she was drowning in a vast pool of molten lava as Mihawk worked his way down. Oh how right this felt as he pulled off her panties, kissing her inner thighs. Though nerves flitted in her ribcage, she felt safe with him, certain of this path more than ever before. 

“Do you want me to keep going, dove?” 

“Yes, please.” She responded immediately, blood rushing to her cheeks as she watched him dropping back to his knees between hers. To be bare in front of a man like this, made her flush and her mind race. But Mihawk was shirtless, his slacks discarded as well, how lovingly his golden irises stared up at her; she felt reassured.

Every inch of her skin shuddered beneath his continuous touches, how his fingers drew slow and teasing circles along her thighs only to stop along her creases as her breathing quickened. Sabine squirmed, heat pooling in her loins as she tried to wade through the new feelings that erupted within. 

Mihawk liked how she begged, loved it really; a shiver went down his spine as his name rolled lustfully off her tongue. He was building her up but his patience was thinning, for how he was desperate to taste her, to claim her as wetness pooled at her entrance.

His eyes flickered up to hers one last time, checking to see if any doubt clouded them, but there was not. Only awe as she waited for him to continue. “I’ll take care of you my love, don’t be afraid to stop me.” She seemed to relax at that, Mihawk couldn’t hold back any longer as his tongue ran across his bottom lip. 

Sabine’s taste intoxicated him, the sound of her cries ignited a flame within. His tongue danced circles over her swollen clit, studying how she reacted to every movement. The fervent moans reaching his ears was like music, it spurred him on as a low groan built in his chest. He burrowed his tongue inside her, swirling and sucking so he could hear her pleas. And when his first finger breached her walls, she gasped, hand shooting down to grasp his other, she gripped onto him any where she could as he pumped his middle finger in and out. 

Any further composure she had melted as he sucked harshly on her clit, adding another finger inside of her. She gasped as her vision turned spotted, her hips involuntarily rocking against his hand for more. More. She needed him as her lungs filled with air, though never feeling quite enough. Mihawk curved his knuckles that hit a spot that made her cry out, a shudder overtaking her whole body. She was sure she was seeing Heaven as he stretched her out adding another finger, a fresh pain turning to rapture as his name rolled off her tongue. 

“Mihawk!” She practically sobbed as a wave cascaded over her, as her loins snapped and an orgasm wracked through her. A blissful moment where all she saw was stardust, all she could breathe was his name. 

He helped her come down, carefully kissing along her thighs, cooing sweet words she hadn’t known him capable of. How he captured her in a heated kiss, his tongue pressing past her lips to claim her. Her body jerked and writhed against him, the haze finally disappearing from her head so she could see him clearly. Golden eyes held her own, her chest seized with emotions of love. 

“Tell me if it gets too much.” Mihawk kissed her forehead before he stripped himself of his boxers. It was his last layer between them as he situated himself between her legs. His cock was long and girthy, he fisted it in one hand with slow strokes as he admired her. The sheen of sweat along her skin, her blissed out face with wet lashes, eyes swirling with lust. 

His cockhead prodded at her glistening entrance, letting it run up and down her folds leaving her gasping with each touch. Eventually he lined his tip up with her after she begged him not to torture her, grunting as he entered her. 

Sabine was a whimpering mess as the first fourth of his cock was swallowed by her constricting walls. A dull ache deep in her core by the sudden intrusion, she grit her teeth, nails dug into his biceps to ground herself. Her head spun as she wound tighter and tighter, before she snapped and pleasure hit her. It felt like he was splitting her in two, like she was standing on the edge of the world waiting to spill over from the pleasure that slammed into her. But it was him that pulled her back, pulled her back to reality as his cock dragged out of her velvet walls and pushed back in. 

She moaned, breathless as she half heartedly begged for more, unsure if she could even take more. Lashes fluttered furiously as she saw stars, as she did not think she could take the pressure and pleasure that built up. The static in her lower tummy, the spurred emotions that flit through, the practical pain that made her cry out. How it built and built, and built. 

A mindless smile was plastered on her lips. Her fingers grazed along every inch of his skin, every inch that was available, making her insides flutter. To see him like this, clothes off, their bodies intertwined, their souls as one made her feel on fire; an all consuming one she wished to never go out.

Sabine’s eyes were half lidded the further, the harder her fucked her, uncaring for her pleas to slow down. His hips moved as he was needy, as she was needy, as their moans intertwined and their bodies did too. Mihawk readjusted himself between her legs, slamming harder against her pelvis, causing his thick cock to hit parts of her she did not know existed. For he was so deep that her mind exploded, her limbs erupted in goosebumps, eyes rolled back into her head, and she writhed against him. Breathless cries falling from her lips. Half moon marks along his skin from where her nails dug. 

“Take me, my love.” Mihawk breathed unsteadily. Oh how he knew he would live for every reaction, every gasp, every jerk of her body. Nothing would ever impact him the way this did, becoming one with Sabine. His grunts, his moans, it was all for her. 

Their lips meshed in a desperate fashion, like the other would die if separated. Sabine felt herself approaching a high once again, incessant gooey pleasure spreading throughout. A coil tightening. Vision blurring. Mihawk relished in the sight of her like this; beautiful, naked, flushed, and crying out for him. His cock fucking into her depths, disappearing each time their hips flushed as one.

Mihawk gripped her hips as he readjusted her legs, pushing them so her ankles upwards towards her head. She gasped. He was deeper than before, she let out a shuddering sob as her fingers gripped his biceps harder. Sabine cried out nonsense as a wave overtook her, as it slammed against her bringing her beneath it. Her second orgasm consumed her, snatching the air from her lungs like she was drowning in it. Mihawk picked up the pace as she pulsed around him, cunt all swollen and tight as he swore he was seeing white, his own high closing in. Cock twitching, several long thrusts, he let out a few grunts, profanity slipping past his lips as he crushed his mouth back onto hers. He cradled her from how he laid on top supporting himself. Her legs limply circled around his waist as his cock released within her, filling her up. 

Vulnerability shone in her eyes. Lips red, parted as they focused in on his face. Mihawk kissed her forehead, slowly nuzzling down to reach her lips. A gasp escaped her as she felt his cock pull out of her. He listened to the rapidness of her pulse, of how her heart hammered in her breast as her chest heaved up and down. How that in his arms it began to lull, she found solace and comfort in him, which made his own chest fill with an unfounded emotion, something that felt so strong yet he could never put a word to it. He held her, and she held onto him, as if they could be separated at a moment’s notice. 

“Sabine?” His deep voice sent shudders down her spine. 

A pink flush came over her, a sense of embarrassment flaring inside as she could not bring herself to meet his gaze. Realizing they lay naked, of the things they did– she felt no regret, but worry, of insecurity towards herself as if she were baring more than her naked body. Sabine moved to cover her breasts as they shifted. 

“You are beautiful.” He murmured huskily, as if able to read her thoughts. 

Sabine was certain her face was bright red. But she still melted into his hold, basking in how her skin erupted in goosebumps as his lips fanned along the skin between her neck and collarbone. The neatly trimmed hairs of his beard made her giggle, “I suddenly feel… shy. Perhaps I should go clean myself-”

“Let me help.” It was as if she would go nowhere without him. Like it was his duty to see to her afterwards and it made her insides bubble, a strangeness that she had not expected from a man. 

She had no experience with this, nor did anyone at the Monastery talk about it if they did. Apparently foolishly she thought when the actual actions of sex were done the man and woman just… went on their own ways as if it had not happened. Sabine had never seen her parents be intimate in the sense of kisses or hugs. So the fact Mihawk did not seem to want to move past sex, but to bask in it as he cared for her was almost too much for her pour heart! Everything felt warm, her extremities tingling all the way from her toes to the top of her head. 

That was how she found herself in a bath with him; a large porcelain tub with steaming water and the washroom fogging with the scent of lavender. There with her back to his chest as the soapy water covered her breasts, listening to the constant rhythm of his heart, their fingers intertwined. Her head rested back, lashes fluttering as she craned her neck just so to gaze at him. Defined cheekbones, striking eyes, his full lips calling to her… 

“You’re certain you want me?” The words slipped past Sabine’s lips before she could catch herself. 

He did not miss a beat. “Yes. I meant the words I said then and I continue to mean them now. You have become the very thing my heart beats for, allow me to care for you always.”

And she knew he did mean them, for his actions showed it louder than any words could. How he became a constant. How he cared for her, how she showed up for her, never did he leave any room for true uncertainty to creep in. She realized even the months they were apart, she had never once doubted that they would be reunited. That he would find her no matter what sea she was in or which island she were on. 

Sabine turned hesitantly in the water, bracing her hands on his chiseled chest and planted her lips to his. 

-

posted: february 20 2025

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SEVEN YEARS AGO

The sounds of pattering feet against ivory tile echoed in the empty halls of the Saint Mana Monastery- a line of veiled nuns walked towards the temple. Angelic chimes rang through the air from the chilled breeze. Soft murmurs of prayers left the lips of bowed heads that never wavered formation. 

A year had gone by since Sabine's father shipped her off. How her hands still shook with anger when she thought of him- his hideous face with the larger than life mustache. A weak, pathetic man who cared for nothing more than himself and booze to hold him over another day. Oh how she prayed at night he'd receive his karma, or wonder if he already had. As her head bowed and her breathing quick, she felt herself grow angry thinking about him. 

The shining midday sun glittered through stained glass in the temple- an expansive room with little pews for the nuns knelt on the cold tile floor. Dressings dragged as perfect rows in front an altar formed. Prayers, both in silence and echoing unison, rang out over the monotonous hour. Like a choir of singing angels existed in the holiness as glittering colored light shone, chimes and lovely words alike breathing life into stale air. 

Each day was of strict routine, monotonous repetitions asides the holy day of Sundays. Early mornings causing early nights. Constant prayers and studying. Chores. Prayers again. Then little alone time which caused little individuality to flourish between sisters; a purposeful thing, intended to create to create pliable female worshipers,

Before 'silence time' however, there was a waiting stack of dishes needed to be ready for dinner. 

Which was how Sabine found herself in the kitchens with other girls her age. Her eyes had grown heavy with each passing minute. Her brain all foggy from a restless sleep and racing thoughts that felt like a knife stabbing her chest over and over. This wasn't what she saw her life being at sixteen– washing dishes in a neat assembly line with water all splattered on a nun's habit she wore each day. The closet of her room was filled with dozens of the same fabrics, it seemed. 

Normally one for conversation when able, it was quickly noticed when she wasn't partaking. Sabine looked at each plate she rinsed as if it were the devil, glaring eyes and pursed lips. 

"What about you Sister Mary Sabine?"

Sabine's head jerked to look towards the other girls assigned to dish duty, whose eyes bore into her, "Huh? Sorry, wasn't listening."

"What would you want out of life if you weren't a nun? Sister Mary Ellen says she'd work in a brothel! Can you believe it?"

"We all want what we can't have," Another Sister said, "Life of temptation always seems so fun."

"So, what about it Sabine?" Continued interrogation from the ever-chatty blonde, Sister Anna Lea.

"Yeah, what's your deepest darkest desire?" 

Sabine stopped, held the sopping wet plate in hand as she hummed to herself for a moment. She didn't want to say the first thing that popped into her head but she couldn't think of anything better to say-

"I want a husband," Sabine then said with a dreamy look in her eye, "Someone who meets me and knows I'm the one. I don't care about having kids, I just want to be loved and in love."

A few snickers followed her reply but most hummed in an agreement of solidarity, "Genuine question, why do priests and cardinals get to marry but not us? Sexist that we have to marry ourselves to the Father."

The group of girls Sabine spent her time with were of like age- teens to young twenties, most hadn't taken permanent vows like herself. So it was no surprise their talk turned to gossip about outdated ways. As much as Sabine agreed she tried to never engage even inadvertently, you never know who's listening, and she preferred to bide her time with her head down. Good behavior, as if she were a prisoner waiting for an early release.

"Ladies."

As if on cue— The matriarch, the most feared one of the elder nuns who sat on top, stood in the doorway hands on her hips. Most girls had shocked, wide eyes as they stammered apologies or turned back to their duties. 

Sabine could only shake her head, feeling nostalgic thinking about a life she'd probably never have. Daydreaming as the hours ticked by, her stomach filling with butterflies and chest tightening as she thought about scenarios of loving encounters with a man. 

It was 9:00PM when an intrusive knock jolted her and her dorm-mate, Sister Therese Sienna, up from their beds. Half-awake they looked at each other before Sienna crept to the wooden door. Their room was small and plain, not expected of two teenage girls. Peeling white walls with crosses hung on each surface. Simple wooden wardrobes and a centerpiece rug. Windows that had to be glued stuck, with pilling curtains covering them. 

Sabine rubbed her eyes as she looked around, shifting in the primarily uncomfortable bed, "Who is it?"

Sienna, with a huff, opened the door revealing Sisters Anna and Lea, "Oh the chatty squad is here,"

"Don't be like that," Lea shrugged, "You two aren't asleep."

"Neither are you two?"

The two uninvited visitors pushed their way in, with Lea marching proudly to Sabine's bed side to strip her of her covers. She recoiled from the sudden chill in the air and attempted to shield herself. 

"Get dressed, we have plans."

"Plans we didn't agree to," Sabine murmured, grabbing a lone shawl across the chair at her bedside. Yet she wasn’t willing to sit this out, not the way Lea had a smug confident look on her face. 

Neither of them were fond of the idea of being out past curfew, especially without an in depth explanation. Only by the light of oil lamps and scattered candles could they move about, footsteps echoing in the cavernous monastery halls. They were like little scurrying mice, constantly looking over their shoulders and around corners, fearful. But growing in certainty as they entered a more desolate area of the monastery. 

"Oh hurry up," Lea spat under the moonlight that streamed through a cracked window as they hurried by it. 

"You're being ridiculous." 

An eerie silence amidst their footsteps as they descended an older flight of creaking wooden stairs, made Sabine internally cringe. This wing of the monastery was creepy. Old. Worn down. Probably disease ridden in the air they breathed. Old paintings that collected dust amongst the broken cement walls, doors boarded up, and relics discarded haphazardly.

Rumors said a prior cardinal died here after performing a ritual, or an exorcism, the stories are different depending who speaks them. That afterwards series of misfortunate events began to take place, sudden deaths and great grievances that would plague their church for years. After a nun took her own life in the tower, it was officially regarded as dangerous for use and locked up. But all locks could be broken. 

Sabine felt unsettled. A pit in her stomach made her more on edge than past times they’d snuck into the abandoned ward. It felt like the eyes of the people in the paintings followed their every move with starch judgment, it filled her with shame. But the adrenaline to have say over her life that was unjustly ripped from her, was too tantalizing to say no to. 

“Good, we’re all here.” An older girl with long blonde hair spoke as they all formed a circle in a dimly lit room. It was further down than Sabine had been before, no windows and the air was heavy and moist. Her pulse began to hike. 

Thin papers with messy scrawl were passed around. Eight girls in total were present around scattered petals that gleamed a color unknown to her. And eight goblets of burgundy wine were handed out next. 

“All of you are girls that have shown interest in men, disdain for the unjust rules thrusted upon women in our situations. Women in this world in general. I found an old book, which appears ancient and during my time studying it, I have found a ritual that when done correctly, will bring you to your true love during your lifetime. That someone is meant for us all but there is no guarantee to meet them.” The blonde said in a serious tone, a fire behind her words that had Sabine hanging on to each one. 

“How.. Will we know? If we meet them.” A Sister asked. 

“It says- you just know. That it’s like your world changes, that you don’t think you’ll be able to survive without the person, that it’s more than love, that they compliment you, cherish you, protect you. It may be foolish, may not work, but there should be no downsides to doing the ritual. Harmless to try it right? Especially on the off chance it is real.”

Murmurs sound. Sabine knows she’ll do it. Not a bone in her body willed her to leave. It seemed all the Sisters were in agreement, that the ensuring possibility of meeting your soulmate through a ritual made perfect sense. What was there to lose besides never crossing paths with them? 

Or they all knew it was a form of child’s play. A fun little thing to do as girls who wanted something more than the Sisterhood. Their way of rebelling. 

“Now do what the papers say, we’ll all speak together.”

Sabine bent down to gather the flower petals into one hand, the other holding the directions the older girl wrote out. Her fingers trembled. 

"I cast this circle of flowers round, in calling for a love meant for me, to find me."

She sprinkled the delicate petals in a circle in front of her. She felt chills run down her spine, a disheveling cold gust she swore was her imagination. 

"Forever will my true love bind.”

Next each girl drank their goblet of stale communion wine, the raunchy taste making Sabine shudder. Was it stupid to feel anew? A fluttering in her chest as her extremities tingle in and out of numbness. The tips of her fingers down to her toes, up to her head tickled in a glittering daze and immobilization while she stood stuck staring at the circle she made. 

At sixteen she didn’t have the capabilities of forethought or critical thinking beyond that of her generalized life experience. How foolish to smile like an idiot as she made sure every drop of the wine was drained. The girls were all too giddy. Definitely too loud with their giggles and conversations that would have normally had a matriarch descending on them like a hawk. But feet below the surface in a desolate room of an abandoned wing, they were undisturbed to gossip through the night. 

-

PRESENT

"Father, please help Zoro through this storm. Provide him the strength and courage to conquer this obstacle. I put my trust and submit my ways unto you to seek help for his battle. Amen." Sabine's mouth was dry as she spoke, hardly above a whisper. Tears stung her bloodshot eyes as a faint throbbing numbed her face. 

Seeing him like that— all clammy, skin as if he'd see a ghost. Bandages peeking from his shirt where a pink tinge of dried blood stained as a reminder of what'd taken place. Sabine, in such a short amount of time, had grown fond- protective in her own way- over the crew. All younger than her, so she perceived them as her dear kids in a sense.

"Why do you feel so bad?" Nami whispered, a cold tone masked behind the question, "I went to leave, to leave the crew. And you feel guilty because you'd been flirting with that Warlord?" The redhead frowned, seemingly answering her own thoughts in her mind as her eyes widened, "Oh- cause you haven't experienced-"

Sabine held her hand up, signaling for Nami to stop, "I think I'd surprise you. It's not necessarily guilt, I don't quite know what it is really. Responsibility maybe? Or the fact I've spent hours listening to those who want to be saved, and act like I'm some saint? Maybe this is all I can do to offer help."

"I think I'd surprise you too." Nami shuffled in place. 

"I don't think you would. I can tell from your far away gazes and survival skills. I know you're hiding something." Normally Sabine wouldn't talk out of turn like she just did. Taught to always nod in understanding, listen intently while carefully thinking through a response. Taught to never interrogate but gently lead in the direction they point. 

"What are you profiling me? I'm not some drunkard, abusive marine stumbling into a church to repent."

"I never said that," Nami was right with her implications, Sabine needn't play her role as a nun with them. And she wasn't with her harsher than normal words as this was what she felt was a final chance to intervene. Nami was bubbling up, "Maybe hiding wasn't the best word to use. I know from experience when there's more to a story. I'm not judging, nor am I asking you to share. But we're all supposed to be a crew, yeah?" 

If Sabine could see Nami's face from where she stood with her back turned, grand line map in hand, Sabine would see the troubled tears in her friend's lash line. And she'd see how Nami's moment of pain fell to a blank stare, determination suddenly dancing in her eyes. 

Sabine frowned as Nami left, her footsteps echoing as they sounded further and further away. She let out a heavy sigh, chest deflating as her shoulders slouched. Guilt about how harsh she'd been, but nevertheless she wanted to speak her mind. 

Her legs screamed from soreness as she stood, carefully moving closer to Zoro's sleeping form. Standing over him, she let her fingertips graze over his clammy skin. She wiped the sweat from his brow-line with her thumb, reaching for a cold moist towel that rested on his left bicep. 

"Oh Zoro," Sabine whispered, "You kids are just too much to handle sometimes I swear." Not that she was much older than them, almost five years she thinks. A smile cracked on her lips about how Usopp never failed to mention her elderly age. 

The reality of it all wasn't that Sabine nor Nami were inherently evil due to pieces of themselves they kept hidden. It only further justified how complicated life is— how complicated people are. 

Sudden commotion, beyond what Sabine was told to expect, made her hesitantly leave Zoro and head to the Going Merry's deck. Her heart palpitated in her chest with each slow step, hand gliding along the walls for any sort of balance. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears as the banging intensified like muddled water swirling. Crouching down, looking over the bannister, her stomach sank. 

Hand clamped over her mouth to silence herself, 

"No!" She still managed to stifle out watching Arlong toss Luffy into the sea. Quick relief washed over her as Sanji jumped into the sea to go after him immediately. Splashes of torrent aqua blue. Technicolor drowning within her chest like trying to scream underwater. But curiosity shimmered in Sabine's eyes as she watched Nami leave with the fishmen.

But as much as Sabine wanted to be shocked or angry like others of the crew— she wasn't. A level of understanding grew in her chest as the minutes went on allowing her time to think. Little growing vines crept into her head as she recalled Nami's words and body language alike. Arlong would have torn the ship apart to find the map- would have torn Sabine and a recovering Zoro to pieces after taking down Luffy, she was sure. So Sabine stayed quiet even as Zoro woke and the others shared their uncertain opinions— she knew Nami did it to protect them. That she'd been right to assume the younger girl was nursing a secret. A searing sensation made her gasp, as her legs gave out, causing her to go down onto the ship’s deck. She clawed at her chest, at the clothes that adorned her and covered the necklace hidden beneath. 

On the dainty chain was the ring. Mihawk’s ring. Why it felt as if it burned her skin she did not know. The suffocating sea air swirling into her nostrils and intoxicating her mind with its musk and scents from the restaurant. 

It was a gorgeous piece. Sabine could not tear her gaze from it as she studied it. Too large for any of her fingers. Eclectic yet manly, clearly worth more berry than her life would ever be. Truly, it was a piece of him. She could recount the deep vibrations of his voice settled within her core, how his calloused fingers bruised along her skin. And how his lips were on her forehead. She could feel it. Feel his intense aura that warmed her insides like it was wrapping her in an all encompassing, protective blanket, to keep the outside world from laying a finger on her. 

Terror instilled itself, this wasn’t supposed to be happening to her! Close encounters with death. Pirates. Life itself! She should have stayed locked up in her isolated palace that was the monastery. 

But then Sabine realized something. That the terror she felt was from her thoughts. Thoughts that leaving her Sisterhood was the path she needed to take. And that was terrifying, the thought of giving up what was comfortable. All this time sailing with the crew and she wasn’t any closer to coming to a decision, not until meeting Mihawk. 

-

posted: july 12 2024

-

I. Fifteen years old when she was ripped from her mother's arms as she was dragged away. Her father stood motionless in the corner with a bag of money in hand, not enough to pay for the three of them. The pirates laughed. Laughed how he wasn't man enough to take his wife's place, to leave a young lady without a mother. How young Sabine cried and screamed, wallowed as she followed them outside. No pleas to them nor the Father would be heard as her mother was thrown to the ground. The woman yelled at her daughter to look away. Pop. An incessant ringing deafened her as she dropped to her knees, eyesight blurry on the limp body of her mother. A pat on her head. Pirate's cruel laughter reverberated through the air as her life came crashing down. 

Not long after did Sabine find herself on a big boat with luggage at her side. A nervous bubbling in her stomach made her feel sick, knowing where her father was pushing her off to. The Monastery was beautiful- large and expansive old castle with dimmed white bricks. Ivy climbing the walls and up kept gardens littered all about. While faith had been all she had to for years- she accepted her temporary vows with disdain in her blood as doubt pricked her mind. 

II. Eight long years passed, and she'd yet to give herself to the Father- to take her permanent vows. The judging glances and murmurs burned, on how she still adorned the white veil after so many years of service. 

Service. Her faith wavered. Rosary clutched in hand as the winds shrieked through the shattered stained glass of the church's nave. Pews splintered and smashed against walls. Flickering candles around her. Tears streamed her cheeks as the ghastly figure stalked around her as she chanted prayer after prayer. Her body shook. Chills up and down her spine. Red stained the tiled floors of the bishop she'd arrived with. Alone. Scared. Only a light guiding her as she rehearsed everything she remembered. Its black eyes and cursed lips screamed as it dissolved and churned. The small music box vibrated as the raven colored smoke succumbed to the words of the Father. Blood trickled from Sabine's eyes as she heaved, palms on the floor covered in broken glass that left her with bloodied cuts. 

III. Every night was the same. Her sisters gathered around her shaking her calling her name, telling her it was okay as she screamed and writhed. The same figure haunted her dreams. Sabine eventually found the strength to request leave- a sabbatical- so there she sat in a cardinal's office with her plea. And it was heard. How her community looked up to her with awe that an un-vowed nun could keep such a demon at bay- that it made sense how she needed time. But Sabine needed to breathe. She needed to leave the monastery to experience a life she once had before her mother's death. Yearned for seeing girls her age laughing and drinking, wearing dresses she only dreamed of owning, dreaming of marriage to someone who loved her. For faith saw her through and she thanked Him everyday but, she could serve him as herself. Not with the restrictions. This sabbatical she prayed would show her what she truly wanted. 

IV. Gecko Island took longer to reach than she'd have expected. But Syrup Village made it worthwhile. The bustling town, the fresh air- the knowing that she had all the time in the world ahead of her (a year really). A chance to start anew to learn her heart's desire. Sabine felt lighter without her habit on and without the eyes that always stared at a young nun passing through a town. As if she was a two headed monster. A cool breeze fluttered her hair as a yelling carried within ear shot, "Pirates are coming!" 

V. "You should join my crew, find the answers to your doubts. Maybe along the way realize you have a dream whether it be with those church people, with us or.. I don't know!" At first she laughed. Her- a pirate? Pirates changed her life for the worse so it'd been a ridiculous thing for Luffy to say. Yet Luffy's smile was enough to win her over, how could anyone say no to him? And as she saw what those straw hat pirates did for Kaya and she wondered, maybe pirates could change her life for better, or maybe she was desperate. With six months left on her sabbatical and Luffy's oath to bring her back to the monastery in time, Sabine felt genuine excitement for the first time in years as she boarded the Going Merry. 

-

playlist

01. all around me― flyleaf 02. lacy― olivia rodrigo 03. like a prayer― madonna 04. slut!― taylor swift 05. roslyn― st vincent & bon iver 06. i caught myself― paramore 07. judas― lady gaga 08. holy (til you let me go)― rina sawayama 09. turning page― sleeping at last

-

Character Moodboards—

PINTEREST BOARD

Oakes Sabine

sister mary sabine

-

Dracule Mihawk

strongest swordsman in the world

posted : oct 14 2023

edited: july 12 2024

-

Weeks of sailing under the sun, staring out onto the never ending blue sea- yet not once did Sabine find herself succumbing to boredom. For she busied herself with chores from aiding Sanji in the kitchen or fishing, to cleaning below deck. Her knack for sewing allowed her to patch up ripped seams from day to day wear or in Zoro’s case slashed from his training. While ironic she was a homemaker on the boat, an ideal she wanted to run from, but it felt different this time around. Sabine enjoyed this, wanted to do this. 

The Going Merry felt like home and she’d contribute in any way she could during her time, time that she desperately begged not to run out. At night always ending her prayers with a little plea to the Father to not allow her sabbatical to run out. A miracle would be needed for that! She was having too much fun with her reddened skin from the sun, uncaring about the blisters that littered her hands from learning to tie knots. “Land!” Usopp’s voice called from the other side of the ship. 

Sabine perked from where she sat delicately stitching an apron back up for Sanji. Placing the fabric down, she wiped sweat from her brow and padded her way over. A jagged mountainside that broke into a cliff over the ocean, the waves crashing into it below. A town in the distance littered around and on said cliff, heavy foliage becoming more clear as they drew in.

Terror washed over her body the moment Sabine's eyes caught wind of that familiar shoreline, the port where it all began. Sabine had never learned the intricacies of reading maps or navigating beyond the general area where the Monastery was located, or the land she once called home. There’d been no way for her to know the way they were going was taking her back. Back to the one place she’d never forget, not even as it plagued her dreams with its dark wretchedness, a place where true evil resided. 

“We’ll stop here before moving on to Loguetown.” Nami had proclaimed, her voice caught on the wind yet never making its way fully to Sabine who stood in vibrating shock. 

Flashes of memories force their way from the back of her mind, clawing and scratching out, ripping her at the seams. The scent of jasmine and vetiver, and graveled wet dirt assaulted her nostrils, bile rose in her throat as she stumbled back, unable to escape the reminders. As if she were being transported back, the safety the ship provided her was gone, as others rushed to her she didn’t notice.  

“Sabine?” 

Sabine sank to her knees, bent over heaving as she stared wildly at her palms splayed flat. The whimpers that escaped her lips were nothing but silence to her, but others noticed. 

“Sabine.” Zoro grabbed her shoulders forcing her to look at him as he knelt, Usopp joining his side. 

“I- She’s there.”

“Who?” 

“That thing! That unholy wretched- wretched creature.” Sabine choked back, mumbling nonsense as her eyes glossed over. 

“What’s going on?” Luffy raced to the bow as he saw the commotion, immediately worried for Sabine. And Luffy’s loud voice echoed down to Sanji in the kitchen and had Nami leaving the wheel.

“I didn’t know we were going to Angelica Island.” 

Angelica Island- said to be the birthplace of the Father. A small island that became a booming place for those who worshiped, taking over half the city that ascends the mountain. Past the port and the market, past the normal residential areas and shops was a completely different side to the city where large churches, libraries, and holy grounds stood. Like it was lighter there, purposely constructed to emanate higher purpose compared to all else. A place Sabine once counted down the days to visit, now caused her to lose her senses. 

“What’s wrong?” Nami asked.

“We shouldn’t dock here.” Sabine whispered. 

“We need supplies.” 

“This island is evil.”

Silence amongst the waves, amongst the squawking of seagulls and echoing voices from the approaching port. 

“How?” Sanji and Zoro helped her stand. Having to grip her waist while she shivered, while she tried to move towards the rail to stare out. Gaze narrowing, body tense as she struggled to regulate her breathing. Fingers gripped the wood, knuckles went white, the two men beside her watching her curiously. 

Suddenly, Sabine remembered the words Luffy said to her in an attempt to convince her to come aboard: "You should join my crew, find the answers to your doubts. Maybe along the way realize you have a dream whether it be with those church people, with us or.. I don't know!" 

How ironic it was that Luffy had predicted this, that she’d find her answers by joining his crew and here she was. Answers being the damned Island that once held the figure that’d been haunting her for months. That subconsciously she knew it wasn’t over.

Her peace might as well be riding on her ability to question the past and face those fears. 

"Luffy, I need to do this, I need to stay here." She knew what she was thinking, knew what she needed to do. But her words caused the group to exchange worried glances. 

A frown still emanated on his features, "Do what?”

“I need time. The answers I’ve been looking for are here, they have to be.”

“I promised I'd get you back to your monastery, I intend to do so before we make our way to the Grand Line." 

"I know and I appreciate it.. this just.." Sabine grimaced, “I ended back here for a reason. The nightmares I’ve dealt with for so long… They were trying to tell me my job wasn’t completed.”

Luffy nodded, “I understand.”

“Luffy, we can’t just leave her.” Nami added, “Can’t we help? What job were you doing? I didn’t think nuns traveled like that.”

“There is more to the Faith than prayer or confessions. Just as there is good in this world, there is evil. And if you believe in such faith, then you believe in damnation.” Sabine’s fists clenched at her side as she pushed off the rail, “There had been a demon, causing to go mad. We’d supposedly exorcized it, but I always thought there was more to it. It went away far too easily. When I returned to my Monastery, the dreams started. I’m sure you all assumed I was struggling with my faith, you’re correct, and it was this wretched place that caused it. I want to find out if the demon is gone, or if it existed in the first place.”

“You never believed it was one?”

“I never chose this path. Sometimes mass hysteria evolves in different ways, like shutting adolescent girls away to have beliefs forced down their throats. In our world with devil fruits, I can see how a demon could exist. But there tends to be simpler explanations, right?” 

“Earlier, you referenced a woman?” Zoro said. 

“It takes its form as a woman, a sinister one at that. With black eyes that are all consuming, I sometimes feel its dark tendrils as if it could still touch me.”

“Will you be safe investigating this on your own?”

“Yes, I know people who work at the archives here, there are fellow nuns to speak with, and a cardinal who will give me a safe space to sleep.” Nami frowned, “You’re certain?”

“I am.”

“You’ll reach me once you’ve finished?”

“Yes, Nami.” Sabine smiled warmly at the younger woman, touched by her concern.

“I trust Sabine knows what she’s doing.” Luffy said, “I won’t stop her.”

Nami mumbled under her breath, “Of course not.”

It was a bittersweet departure, one Sabine wasn’t even sure she should make after her volatile emotions came crashing back down to reality. But she had to do this. Why else would she end back here? Quickly she gathered a few items from the ship, primarily extra sets of clothes, her rosary, and then berry. 

She took the main road to go through the center of town, not looking back to where the remainder of the crew would stay for supply. She’d to make her way to the religious sector in the furthest part of the city, where archives were kept. It would take her forty-five minutes up to an hour if she hurried. 

Crowds died down as the day went on, as she took the twists and turns that led her up towards her destination. Sabine felt bare as she hugged her habit closer to her body, as if it could shield her. While it was rare to see a Sister out and about, it was even more so to see one alone. Gazes seemed to stick to her, unable to tear away out of confusion or intrigue. 

The buildings turned to that of a pure white, more eclectic with an enclave of statues depicting past saints. Sabine felt more at ease from the familiar roads and structures she’d once spent weeks on end around. Knowing those who tread beside her were those of the Church let the anxiety in her chest subside, warm looks now descending upon her, but very much in contrast to how she felt.

The archives sat in front of her. But the door to take her inside felt like it was miles away. The tips of her fingers tingled in numbness, her throat feeling taut. Stepping into that building could just be the end of her. Its heavy air, the dust that never settled, the dark corners that hid prying eyes. Always feeling like something stands over your shoulder. 

Sabine knew there’d be no warm welcome for her from these halls. It didn’t matter as the lady at the front desk smiled brighter than the sun, remembering Sabine’s face. How she immediately went to find Cardinal Joseph, who’d hosted them prior. 

Cardinal Joseph was an older man, someone who engorged far too much in the likings of sin than anything else, but he was kind. 

“Sister Mary Sabine, pleasure to see you again.” He clasped her hands in his, “Though I am surprised.”

“I know, I did not announce I was coming. I apologize for that.” She said cordially, squeezing his hands back before retreating. 

“No need. Did you travel alone? The seas are getting more unsafe by the day I fear, hopefully you were accompanied, I don’t see an escort for you.”

“I did not come alone, technically. But I was safe. I’m on a sabbatical, I suppose you didn’t hear.” 

Cardinal Joseph's face twisted in surprise, “I did not. I imagine it has to do with this place, no?”

“I’ve been plagued by night terrors, by everything that happened. I needed time away and fate has brought me back here.” 

“I should have written to you.” He sighed, “I have felt it as well, the darkness, I have been on edge since.”

Sabine shuddered, “Can I have access to the archives? There is something on my mind I need to look into while it’s fresh.”

“Of course, the Deacon at the gates leading down should let you through without issue. I’ll have a room set up for you at the Delphine and then I’ll join you.”

Sabine thanked the heavens above that Cardinal Joseph had been here upon her arrival, he was more open than most Cardinals were. And he’d experienced the horrors she had first hand as well, he’d understand the urgency.

She had a hunch, yes. She had swirling thoughts that went every which way, catapulting hoping its aim was spot on. But in actuality, she didn’t know where she’d begin once staring at the shelves of books. 

The Archives were expansive, being one of the largest libraries in all the seas. While not open to the general public, exceptions could be made for important families or members of the Marines. Sabine had no issues gaining access. As she descended the spiraling stone staircase below ground level, her chest tightened. 

A grand room with opulent chandeliers that appeared hundreds of years old swung from every inch of the ceiling for light. 

It felt like years had gone by from the last time she’d entered this room. Memories, flashes of herself galavanting about without burdens went by. Recognizing the paintings, remembering the numbering of the books, it did not give her a sense of familiarity. Instead she felt bear, vulnerable to a prying presence as she floated towards a desk in the center. Multitudes of cavernous halls branched off from the primary room, many of them behind lock and key, probably harder to gain access. The rumors that ancient artifacts from the Father himself lied down here for protection, same with other great saints or nuns or priests alike. Some even said actual bodies sit entombed. 

“Good afternoon,” Sabine said softly as she approached the nun who served as the librarian. She remembered that scowling face, “I was wondering if there is any literature on devil fruit and our faith? If there’s correlation between someone’s power and demonic sightings, or possession.”

“You again.” The elderly Sister huffed, “Good to see your healthy Sister. Now, sections 124000B and 124000C are the only areas that might have information. I think you’re best asking around or checking past persons to see if a devil fruit user could even have the power to possess someone.”

“I see.”

“I’m ancient, I really don’t care why you’re here dear. But don’t go around causing doubt in anyone’s head. If people start to think the very foes of our religion aren’t caused from hell to defeat the Father but rather Devil Fruits? Hmph.”

“Devil is quite literally in the word-”

“Nosy. I remember you had to learn every piece of information ever published on our city and people last year.” She tsk’d. 

A lightbulb went off in Sabine’s head, “There is rarely proof of a true possession- it’s normally hysteria or mental-”

“Just go to the sections.”

Sabine was reeling. Whirring as she took slow steps to where the nun pointed. She thought her head would combust at any moment, the sudden and rather anti-Father thoughts assaulting her felt they’d cause her to combust. Like moving in slow motion, seemingly understanding that there was no reasoning behind the job they completed last year. There couldn’t have been a demon!

When Cardinal Joseph met Sabine at a table where she’d spread out dozens of books, there were tears falling down her cheeks. Her hands shaking when she showed him the book she currently read. 

That section she’d been pointed to was discarded in the back, years of dust corroding at the bindings, the books themselves feeling like they’d turn to ash upon touching.

Sickening. Her heart thumped, blood rushing painfully that her vision dulled. 

In the end she knew Faith was personal, most of the time a person's way to believe in something after death. A comfort, not to be used as fact or to create policies off of. Nobody should be forced to believe in something that did not make sense to them, but hadn’t that been what she was forced to do?

There was a high overlap in demonic sightings and a devil fruit bearer who’d wreaked some sort of havoc. Three hundred years ago a man was able to control others like they were puppets to do their bidding, the church swooped in to perform an exorcism on him and release those under his control. Then they killed him. Demon problem solved. 

This was bigger than her. There was a devil fruit user on this Island that was using the fear of the Father to turn people mad, turn them to take their own lives. She was certain of it. And furthermore certain that her time here last year had actually been futile. 

Sabine did the only thing she could think to do, and that was run, even as the Cardinal called out to her. 

-

She’d run until her legs could no more, and in what direction she’d gone, she wasn’t sure. She was no longer in the part of the city she knew well. Her heart beat in her chest to where she’d thought it’d burst out her ribcage. The pain shooting up her feet to her thighs was practically paralyzing, there was no physical training at Mana Monastery. Her lungs ached for reprieve as she continued to walk, they struggled to intake air as she heaved with her face bright red. 

In the distance, stood a building that her gaze was drawn to. 

From its entrance was a group of Marines, looking as if they’d just got off shift. Sabine suddenly remembered the Islands proximity to Loguetown, that the marine base here had plenty of run off in ships and men. 

She involuntarily moved forward. Heavy scent of the sea in the distance coaxed its way into her mind, the saltiness making her eyes burn. Pain. All this wretched place brought her was physical and mental anguish, no parts of the city allowing her to feel sanctity.

The inside of the Marine Base felt more like an office, plain walls with dozens of cabinets sitting behind a wall of glass. Poster of Wanted Pirates haphazardly taped to the plaster, which she cringed at the one with Luffy’s face, clearly on newer paper compared to others.  

She must have been standing there looking like a fish out of water, especially in her unusual gear, when a young officer at the counter called out to her. 

“May I help you, Sister?” The marine stared at her intently, primarily puzzled to see a young woman in a habit she assumed. 

For a split second she stuttered, mind blank before deciding what she wanted to do. She strode to the counter trying to seem strong in her decision, one that seemed insane. 

“Is there a communication device I can use? There is someone I need to contact, but I don’t know how to.”

“Are they in the Marines?” 

“Sort of?” Sabine’s brows furrowed for a second. She learned closer to the marine across the counter as to not be overheard, “His name is Mihawk and I believe he kind of works for the Marines.”

“K-Kind of? Mihawk… The Warlord? What does a nun have to do with him?” He looked at her as if she were mad. But when Sabine showed no signs of letting up, that it wasn't a joke, the marine cleared his throat, “You aren’t kidding.”

“No. Tell him it’s Sister Mary Sabine.”

“One second.”

One second apparently meant one hour. One hour she stood still as if she were a statue, unwavering in her request in case anyone doubted. She didn’t assume it was easy to reach him, perhaps this desk worker needed permission or fine someone who knew how to dial him. To quench her tightening chest her eyes flared along the tile floors, counting the cracks, studying the grout that had seen better days. 

Eventually the marine returned, rather pale compared to when she’d arrived. He did not meet her eyes, but dialed on the transponder snail. His voice wavered as he spoke, 

“Hello- Yes, this is Marine Lee speaking on behalf of Angelica Island. I have a nun who requests to speak to you….. Yes, that is her name, Sister Mary then Sabine? Okay…. I will put her on.”

Sabine took the device from him, holding it to her ear with trembling fingers. Her stomach churned with vigorous nerves, and excitement to hear his voice. For a split second she wondered if this was ridiculous, if she should have thought this through rather than acting on a whim.

“Hello.” She spoke, kicking herself for sounding uncertain. 

“My dear, what a pleasant surprise. It’s only been a month, no?” The sound of his voice made her heart jump, made a shiver of pleasure run down her spine. An involuntary smile came over her as her core burned. 

“Yes, I know. My apologies but I need assistance, and I can’t ask it of my crew to help. I thought I could handle it alone but…” She rambled, “I thought of you suddenly.” 

“Are you in danger?”

“I- don’t know. It’s a long story I will have to tell you about in person. I…” She swallowed hard and it appeared even through the phone Mihawk knew she needed a minute. “I have a history on this island, we were only stopping for supplies but I couldn’t leave, not when fate brought me back. I told Nami I would contact her when I finished my business.”

He was quiet for a moment before he hummed, “Very well, I’ll come to you and we’ll sort out this business of yours. Where will you be?”

“Hotel Delphine, I’ll tell the owner I am waiting for you. He’ll show you to my room.”

“I will see you in two days time, do not get yourself hurt in the meantime.” And with those words the line went dead from his end. 

Sabine handed the device back to the marine, thanking him profusely before leaving with an overly ecstatic grin. As if she were floating on cloud nine, the fact she’d be seeing Mihawk whittled away at the fear that pushed her to reach out.  

The cool breeze against her skin as she stepped out into the setting sun, the air smelled heavy of cinnamon and fresh bread. She let it guide her to a small shop along the cobbled roads nestled back into a cranny. 

She took the moments of clarity in the dark clouds that hung over her head to make a plan. She was not suited for this! Having to think through things past when her prayers were, or what she’d do during her hour of free time. Or even what was being made for meals.

First she’d grab food at this adorable bakery, then she’d go to her room the Cardinal would have set up at the Hotel in the upper part of the city- Then? She wasn’t sure. Perhaps writing down her thoughts for Mihawk to properly explain the innocuous history would be good. Then, all at once the reality that she’d see Mihawk in two days hit her. 

-

posted: july 14 2024

-

As thunder rumbled through the island, rain pelted the roofs of the city’s buildings with such force it sounded like a hail storm. Distant jolts of lightning lit up the sky in a dance of fraught intensity between each quickly occuring strike. A sweet yet pungent odor of petrichor wafted through the air as the rain disturbed the ground, the trees, the odoriferous molecules that encapsulated everything that made up the sleeping city.

But one stirred amongst the early hours, before dawn could break through the dark clouds. Sabine flinched in her sleep, a whimper left her lips, brows furrowed as her dream caused her restlessness. Sweat beaded along her hairline as a more complete cry came passed her lips, legs beginning to quiver under the quilt that did little to release the overwhelming heat she absorbed in.

As if one with a flash of lightning, Sabine awoke with a gasp as the sky glitter a blinding white. Hand over her heart as she heaved, glancing along what her eyes could make out in the dark. Her fingers ran along her skin, felt the fabric of her night gown, pinched at her legs just to make sure she was truly awake. To feel that she was present in this moment surrounded by the dense pattering of raindrops that sounded like an onslaught against the window panes. 

Overwhelmed with the memories of her nightmare, choking from the heat that consumed her, she flung herself out of bed racing to the bathroom. She flinched at the sound of the door slamming but couldn’t be bothered. Crumbling to a heap on the tile floor she mewled at the coolness against her reddened skin. Splaying her palms flat, Sabine let her tears flow freely as she felt everything. The tightening of her chest in anxiety as her heart thumped wildly. The mixing temperatures of her body made her go lightheaded. And the pounding behind her temple from the pathetic tears she couldn’t stop. 

Her cries woke him instantly from the daze his body had been in the second she went to the bathroom. A worried demeanor along his features, stomach twisting at the thought of her pain. Mihawk was attuned to her now; Every breath, step, or quirk he’d memorized and could acquaint them with an emotion. How she cracked her knuckles when bored, shoved a fingernail behind another to cause pain when stressed, or how her cheeks would grow pink when embarrassed. But it didn’t stop him from second guessing how to react to each emotion she cycled through, not wanting to overstep any boundaries or pry too hard. 

The sound of her sobs made him feel like he was being gutted from the inside out. Like a knife pierced his chest, twisting and slicing him open so he knew he couldn’t stay pliant on his cot.

A sharp knock against the door dragged Sabine back to reality of the bathroom floor where her tears welled into mini pools. 

“Sabine.”

Oh no no, she panicked. He couldn’t see her like this! She thought she was quick to barricade herself into the bathroom so he couldn’t hear her. But she guessed nothing ever got past him. 

“May I come in?” Mihawk’s drowsy voice spoke again.

‘No’ sat on the tip of her tongue out of embarrassment, but more than anything did she want him by her side. 

“Yes.” She eventually croaked out, resituating herself on the floor so she sat against one of the walls. Wiping at her face, she knew she must look ridiculous and ugly. 

Mihawk said nothing of how she looked, nor did she see any pity in his eyes. He simply took the empty space beside her against the bathroom wall, his much bigger form causing her to squish into him. His warmth was different that the suffocating one she woke up with, his was inviting and comforting and she subconsciously moved closer. 

They sat there in silence for a bit. Sabine wasn’t sure exactly how long, but one of his hands took one of hers into it and his thumb dragged along her skin. The monotonous motion grounded her as she focused on the pleasant electricity that shot up her arm from his touch. How it was a light in the darkness that currently surrounded her. 

“Mihawk.. I’m sorry, I woke you.” Sabine sniffled. The only place she couldn’t bring herself to look was his eyes, perhaps scared what she’d see. No one at the Monastery would speak it, but she knew her night terrors annoyed them more than anything. An inconvenience. And Sabine couldn’t fathom being one to him. 

“Don’t apologize my dear, I don’t mind. Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you.” 

“Nightmare?”

“Mhmm, guess you and the hotel guests are lucky I haven’t shrieked like a damn banshee yet.” A joking tone passed her lips with a huff and that frankly surprised her. It would take her hours to come down from these nighttime episodes. Especially since it’d been weeks since she had a proper one even without the screaming. 

His lips quirked up as he stared straight at the sink, “I suppose we are.”

It felt bold to move even closer, to try to force herself into Mihawk’s hold. But for some reason she did so, nuzzled her head into his shirt as if she were a child needing comfort. Her actions with him were awkward and uncertain, her lack of experience and sheltered nature rather apparent. The scent of soapy rose water that swirled in the bathroom from all her constant soaks, seeped up into her head. She tried to focus on that instead of the gloom that threatened to spill out again. 

When Mihawk shifted her so she lounged in his lap, head in the crook of his neck, she thought she’d simply pass out. Her hairs stood straight up on her body as tingling contentment spread throughout her. Mind racing, yet racing because of his musk and his touch and not the dark figure from her dreams. 

“You’re safe here,” Mihawk whispered into her hair, “At least with me you are. While dreams may terrorize us, they don’t follow us into the real world once we wake up.”

She nodded.

“Would you like to talk about it?” 

“Maybe.”

“Take your time.” 

Squeezing her eyes shut as she buried her face deeper into him as if she could disappear, inhaling his natural masculine scent that was truly intoxicating to her. There were thoughts at the forefront of her mind she wanted to spew, and maybe now from her heightened pulse and stress riddled body she’d be able to say them. In this moment of vulnerability she felt doubt and anger, a mix of regret and melancholy. She had no idea how to wade through it, her body simply wanted to thrash and scream as its way to handle the boiling fervor within her. 

“I- Why me? Why sit here with me?” Her voice cracked, “Aren’t I pathetic? I’ve dragged you into a mess with no proof of my claims besides a newly dead person. Isn’t it all my fault? You must think I’m mental.”

“I don’t think of you as a crazy woman if that’s what you’re saying. Sure this work has been boring compared to being at sea, taking on pirates and doing the marine’s biddings. Can you imagine me scouring libraries for information on my foes?”

That made her spit out a laugh, surprised by the sudden thought of Mihawk having to find information from an archive rather than utilizing his sword against a foe. It was a good point he made that eased the clawing from within her ribs that he hated each day with her, in secret. 

“But I don’t mind,” He continued, “I didn’t expect to have time with you like this. Selfishly, I’m glad I get to be the one to assist you, that you thought of calling.” 

“We’ve learned a lot about each other, you’re still a mystery though, little up there in age,” A poor attempt at teasing, “And we don’t hate each other after sharing a space and I'm glad for that as well.”

“That is also true.” 

Mihawk wiped the tears along her cheekbone, a gentle look on his face as he carefully studied her. She looked just as beautiful as ever, even with splotchy red eyes and cheeks, with a sniffly nose that attempted to stop snot from running. The glassiness of her eyes told a story of deeper sadness in them, that there were still dangerous thoughts lingering inside. And Mihawk wanted all of it for himself to know, wanted to take any burden off of her as a man like him could never feel the weight of it. 

Delicate, so tiny and breakable, he thought of her time and time again. All he wanted was to wrap Sabine up from the evils that plagued her. Yet with odds stacked harshly against her as she waded through the waters at night unable to see, she still fought. Admirable, even if misguided from a desolate life of experience. 

“Mihawk.” Her voice back to that of on the verge of tears, “I can’t go back to my Monastery. I will die if I do, it’s sucking my soul dry.”

There were no proper words to say in response. Nothing besides a simple hum, to tell her he was listening and understood. He was not the person to give advice, to console her on such a personal matter she needed to solve herself. And it seemed she was surprised she said it, or maybe it was a surprise that she felt lighter. He saw it. How Sabine physically relaxed as if she shared a dark secret pent up for years, finally able to tell another. 

“I thought this life was what I wanted. But right now as I sit here with every bone in my body wanting to scream and hurt myself to feel something- I know I had to adapt. I had to want to be a nun or else I wouldn’t have survived.” Sabine sighed, “How can that be? Can there be Stockholm syndrome for a whole religion rather than a captor? A whole place? I’ve kept it in because to say such words is blasphemous yet I felt it while with Luffy everyday, the excitement to get out of bed and talk to others.”

Sabine faltered, tears fresh once again as she stared into his eyes, 

“I pushed it all down! Let time morph into one. I can barely recount time or know what year something took place! Isolated and going through the motions I was a shell and now I dread my sabbatical ending.”

Her body was like a furnace upon him, while goosebumps littered up her arms and legs, so Mihawk assumed it was him burning. A tight, clawing sensation within him that felt like he was being ripped open made its home in his chest. He knew he needed to keep his head on straight, best not to touch her anymore than the situation their bodies were in now. How she perched on his lap, he wanted to touch her body for himself to know she existed in this moment all for him. He wanted her to feel alright amidst her disheartening confession, which when had he ever wanted that for anyone?

“Ease my mind Sabine, tell me I’m not corrupting the thoughts that will need to make your decision at the end of this sabbatical. I am not religious, sometimes I say things that may be unfair to you, I cannot give good advice, I have to bite my tongue.”

“I told… I had to make myself a promise that I wouldn’t let you play a part in my decision. And you weren’t. But that was before I actually knew you, how can I not think of you? After what? Two weeks and how with each passing moment we grow closer! But I can promise you that nothing you say affects my beliefs, or would cause me to suddenly become faithless. I’ve had men come in and spew disgusting, hateful things at me that honestly- are probably true about the church, but it didn’t change my mind. I’m the only one who can affect my own beliefs, analyze and pick them apart. I let myself stifle things I never believed in as a child so I could survive, this sabbatical thrusted me from that dark blanket I was under. You affect my decisions because of the emotions I feel for you; nothing you say can make me leave the church if I knew I wanted to stay.”

Mihawk took one of her hands into his own, “It seems you have admitted much to yourself you could never say before, and I admire that, you shouldn’t discount the bravery it took. But let's get you back to bed my dear, rest and think on it all again when you’ve eaten and are properly awake.”

“Thank you, Mihawk.” She whispered as her head pulsed from sleep exhaustion and her tears, nodding at his words that brought her comfort. She liked how intently he listened, how he was mature about her outburst not making her feel childish or stupid. 

As Mihawk helped her weak form into her bed, she vowed to herself that tomorrow she’d tell him about the deacon. The one she thought was the man she’d love, only to be hellbent on destroying her. 

-

An apology was on the tip of her tongue, feeling heavy with shame and nerves as she attempted to steel herself. Replays of the early morning hours as she sat in tears in the bathroom while he consoled her, played over and over. Mortified. The only word that described the embarrassing turmoil of fluttering butterflies in her chest, how with each movement he made, her innards lurched. 

Sabine wanted him to see her better sides, as unreasonable as it was. Wanted to carefully craft what he saw so as not to see her as weak or disgusting. Yet this had all been a mess up until now. Incompetence swirled around her actions and ideas on how to fix this, how to fix this damn island, and what to do about her decision. Any facades she’d been able to build up or believe in were gone. 

She did not regret the things she said. She regretted how it all came out, sitting there in his arms crying with snot running down her face. How unladylike! Horrified with herself, convinced he hated her now, that he was judging her as they went on with their new morning routine.

“Mihawk.” Sabine finally said, a slight itch in her throat as she coughed in discomfort. They paired well in silence, it could be comfortable between them without needing conversation. 

“Hmm?”

“I-” She stopped for a second, “I apologize for last night, well technically earlier this morning.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Mihawk responded without missing a beat. 

“But I did- to burden you…”

“You’re no burden.” 

Frustration bubbled up into her chest and throat, unable to formulate the words to describe her feelings; it took all her strength to stop an involuntary fit that tried to come over her. She stood next to her bed, rocking on the balls of her feet as Mihawk sat at the window, a book in hand. But he closed it to focus on her, arms crossing along his broad chest. 

She pressed her palms into her brow, pushing to try to stifle the swirling thoughts and pain. Their age difference was noticeable to her as her responses to stress were to cry, shut down, barely speak in complete sentences! More embarrassment fueled her fire thinking how he must look down on her insecure childish behavior, even if she’d once prided herself on the elegance she carried. 

“I am struggling.” Her legs buckled and she fell to the bed, sighing as she slouched sitting on the edge of it, “I don’t want someone else to die, but I can’t stop thinking about the Monastery.”

“Can I ask- if your loyalty or faith in your religion and its teachings, or is it in the Monastery as you feel you owe it your life?”

For a second it didn’t register as her head cocked to the side, Sabine frowning as she replayed what he said again. Oh. 

“That’s… An interesting question, one I can’t answer right now, one I’ve never even considered.”

There were a plentiful number of women she loved back on the island, from her roommates whether present or past, to younger girls to mentor, to even the matriarchs that once scared her as a teenager. With peers her age she’d experienced growth with highs and lows of the isolation of dedicating yourself to the Father at an unusual age. And it was the older nuns that taught her how to cook, to sew, to plant gardens of herbs and vegetables, how to do basic numbers and understand complex texts. In a way, Sabine wasn’t there for the religion due to her own beliefs, but because life landed her there without a second thought. 

A cruel wave of nostalgia came over her as she recalled happier memories. But how much longer would they last upon her return now that she has experienced the world? Before, she’d been an isolated girl who never left her town or journeys were strictly supervised by religious leaders. She’d never be able to remain silent there now, to go with the flow simply because she knew no better. 

It made her sick to think about as a longing, an anger replaced those bittersweet feelings. A heavy unease settled in her stomach as a sour note took its place in her mouth. 

His heavy footsteps on the floorboards made her stomach lurch with excitement as her eyes followed him. Waiting. He sat beside her, the mattress dipping due to his larger size. 

“I mentioned a deacon in my note a few weeks ago, he’s why I got sent on the job last year per my head being in the clouds. Matriarch said that. This whole thing is turning into some sappy emotional journey,” She shook her head as amusement flittered through her words, “I want to tell you about him, how I think he started my disillusionment with the Father.”  

-

posted: july 29 2024

-

The balcony doors were open when he returned, rain water pooling along the hardwood, the curtains whipping about as wind shrieked. That was the first sign that had him on alert and reaching for Yoru. His heart was in his throat with each creak of the floor as he moved into the room, closing the door sounding like a gunshot amidst the silent tension.

The second sign- Sabine was not anywhere to greet him with her beaming face and welcoming presence. So his fingers gripped the hilt of his sword a smidge tighter, he stalked towards the closed bathroom door. 

A splotch of blood in the bathroom; fresh on the tile. But there was no other presence outside the permanent aura of himself and Sabine twisted up within this hotel room. He could only breathe in and smell them. 

This wasn’t perpetrated by someone who lacked skill after all. Purposely left traces of their aura on the bodies to see who could close in on them, gleeful to watch and see if they could get caught. And they managed to throw Mihawk off his usual game, to pursue down the streets towards what he believed would be a clue to the devil fruit user. He’d let his guard down because he assumed this to be trivial, a waste of his time if it weren’t for Sabine’s insistence for answers.

Was this all a ploy to get their grubby hands on Sabine? Mihawk had to see it from each angle, needed to think logically rather than allow the clawing anger within him to take over. His veins threatened to burst from the molten lava that seemed to flow within them, pulsing and goading him to implode. Every fiber of his being alive with pure, agonizing emotions over Sabine being taken, snatched from the careful bubble of protection he’d built up around her. The thought of her being hurt! The fact he hadn’t been there to protect her! It gnawed at him. Made him want to scream until he could no longer; made him want to destroy, to throw everything in his path until it splintered into finite pieces.  

He’d seen it for himself, how the victims began to look like Sabine. He’d read the reports, how victims were of random gender and race until her return. In his mind it was no coincidence anymore, he never should have let her out his sight, not even in the confines of a hotel patronized by church-folk. 

Mihawk needed to think. Needed a clear head. A minute of silence, as he sat on the edge of the bed leaving Yoru leaned on the side. Prodding at his forehead to ease the dull ache forming from the anxiety that flitted his nerves, coursing like painful electric sparks. 

A single name flashed in his mind. Red lettered and large, clear as day through the cacophony of all his screaming thoughts. Giorgio. 

While he did not know if that man was capable of this, he was the only person Mihawk knew Sabine held disdain for on this island. He’d been a nuisance during the initial investigation, per her words. That there was something within Sabine telling her to stray far away from him, Mihawk had seen it that day when a crowd gathered to listen to Giorgio’s ridiculous preaching. He saw the fear in her even if she could not explain what it was she was fearful for. 

Mihawk’s whole being ached for Sabine. Everything had begun a jumbled dissonance of feelings and actions upon meeting her. Sleepless nights and endless worrying during the day. A constant gnawing in his chest, the constricting around his lungs until he’d heard her voice over the transponder snail. When he saw her in weeks after Baratie, it was like all his solemnity and distress evaporated. 

He revered her. He’d worship the ground she walked for as long as she’d let him, for as long as she chose him. But he could not, would not ask her to choose him at the end of her sabbatical. Even when that one choice dictated how the rest of his life would go. For Mihawk was prepared to lose her, to live with the harrowing thoughts and void-like emotions. To wander the seas living with her ghost until the day Zoro would likely surpass him, then perhaps he’d be at peace. 

The fury that began to seep its way into him. How dare someone think they could get away with taking the woman he loved away, under the guise of a kidnapping from the blood in the bathroom. They’d feel the full brunt of his abilities as the strongest swordsman in the world. He won’t spare them. He’ll destroy whatever it is they love, whatever life they built around them, then he’d prolong their suffering to know the depths of how he felt. Mihawk felt as if he was dying. That he’d drop any second from how his heart wrenched and extremities shook. 

Love. A sentiment he was not all too familiar with. And he’d just admitted to loving Sabine! A girl who held strong faith in her morals, in her actions, fierce in how she carried herself whether she believed that or not. An open book for him to read, simply because she allowed him to. Sabine held all the stars in the universe for all he was concerned with. His luck to have met her, the luck to breathe the same air as her. It’s daunting. It weighs on his shoulders. But he does not want it any other way, the pressure is also lovely and worth fighting through. 

His fingers flex. He rolls his shoulders back. Head raised with dangerous certainty in his eyes. With Yoru on his back, none of his strength would be kept at bay. Even if it destroyed this whole damn city just to get Sabine back in his arms, safe again.

-

Sabine woke up in the same fetal position she’d passed out in on the cold floor. It took her a second to acclimate from her grogginess, from the pain, but it caused her stomach to sink upon realizing she hadn’t been in a dream. It was not a dream when Giorgio took her, or tied her to the bed, or offered her wine, or even when he called upon the puppet in the shape of her demon. Fuck. A shriek had left her as she flinched, terror as cold as ice coursing through her that had her stumbling backwards. 

But it did not move, only its eyes to follow her like it was a shell, a mannequin. 

Legs felt like jello as she tried to walk. Numb and buzzing with tiredness that almost hurt, shooting through her as if it needed her to stay awake. Because she had to. She could not afford to fall asleep again, not alone with this creature, not with the threat of Giorgio coming back at any moment. Her sense of time is out of sync, worse than before.

As she moved out of the primary room with the fireplace, couch and wine, the thing followed her. Chills go down her spine at how languidly it walked, awkward and inhuman. It was uncanny how it didn’t scare her the same as last year. A person can change in a year. Sabine liked to think she had, and for the better. She believed she was stronger. More capable, that she wouldn’t fall apart so easily. Perhaps she had something to prove for her failures that only seemed to stack up like the bodies had, or she’d gone through such a metamorphosis since joining Luffy’s crew she couldn’t go back.

A dim hallway, at the end was a downward spiral staircase. No more windows in the brick walls, just flickering lanterns that seemed to die the more she walked. With each step was another to match a few feet back. A presence she can’t shake, it made her tremble, made her pulse continue to race. Fear tickling her mind with intrusive thoughts imagining the worst. Imagining it striking her from the back, its inky tendrils wrapping around her to choke her, to bite into her flesh and drain her of life.

And as she reached the top of the stairs, darkness seeming like it went miles into the ground, she grew nauseas. 

An intense gravitational-like pull urged her to continue, to make the descent. Even as the hairs on the back of her neck stood tall, the demon breathing down her neck. Strained gasps of air left her, limbs tingling- she took the plunge. Without thinking she shattered the invisible wall between her and those depths, treading down to the first step. From hollow to being swarmed with chaotic ardor, prickly vines blossomed in her ribcage, cutting and bleeding her from within. 

Each step down, the heavier the air felt. Thick and swarming with a metallic musk and a pungent smell of chemicals trying to mask the stench. It reminded her of the morgue. Of the crime scenes. There’d be no turning back, but dread filled her as she could only imagine what awaited her. Imagination ran wild in the dark. Expecting to find medical tables with gruesome bodies atop, or a torture room with outdated tools and old blood staining the floors and walls. 

Sabine used the wall to help guide her, never releasing her palm from its harsh material. Careful as she felt with her foot, trying to judge the distance to each step or (hopefully) coming landing in the dark. Pitch black. Her eyes were not adjusting. Static filled her ears. She retched. Nose burned from the fumes, it was more than death, it was more rotten and old. 

A light shone feet away. She finally reached the bottom. 

Red drag marks caked the ground, the walls scratched up with thin bloody lines of fingers that tried to grab hold. 

Sabine gasped, clamping a hand over her mouth as she heaved, as she began to cry. She couldn’t stop the tears and she couldn’t stop how her feet moved onwards. There was no need to look behind her, Giorgio’s puppet stayed feet back still. It did little to comfort her, but she realized it wasn’t the monster she had to fear. Giorgio was the monster. 

Because only true evil reveled in a room closed off from the world, splatters of blood along the walls. A square, grim room that reeked of rust and rotting meat. A table that held medical tools, all shiny and silver, the only clean objects present. 

The girl’s body had already begun to decompose. Her face contorted in horror, mouth agape with missing teeth, and eyes bulging from the sockets. She must have been screaming, pleading for her life. For her eyes told the story of the pain she endured up until her life was taken. Colorless and putrid. The maroon of blood mixed with dirt and sweat was the only remaining color splayed out on her skin. Brown locks tangled and cut, coated with the dried muck.

The basement too bar below the surface should have been cold, but Sabine was burning alive. Sweat brimmed at her hair line as her chest and stomach constricted, there was nothing left to vomit but she dry heaved all the same. Her face burned from the pressure of forcing liquids up, temple feeling like it was stabbed over and over. Tears slipped down as she regurgitated, gagging and nauseating. Sabine swayed as she straightened, eyes glassy and far away. 

She stumbled forward and the damage on the girl became more evident. Missing fingernails. Fingers twisted in the wrong directions, knuckles broken. Strange marks cut deep into her skin. Her feet looked wrong. As if binded, as if twisted at the ankle too far. 

“No…” She whispered, realization coming over. This girl looked like her. From the brown eyes to dark brown hair, to the pale skin and elegant cheekbones. A slim nose and similar build in stature. Sabine saw herself staring back in that twisted look, one she didn’t deserve to die with. 

Sabine cried as her fingers quivered, jutting out just hovering over the deceased girl; bawling as she touched the clammy flesh, closing the eyes. Rest easy. And Sabine whimpered as if in pain as she moved the jaw to close, waiting for any sign of life or something to jump out. The girl now looked as if she was asleep. No more bugging eyes in fear or mouth agape in terror. 

Sabine sunk to the ground in the heap blubbering and shaking her head in disbelief, praying, praying that she'd open her eyes and be elsewhere. Prayed for strength. Prayed for the girl on the table. Prayed that she wouldn’t end up there next. 

It was some time before Sabine could pick herself up off the floor. Hunched over and vibrating, weak as she sludged back down the hall into the dark, then slowly ascended the stairs. Guilt wracked her, to leave that poor girl to decompose in that dingy room all alone. But Sabine needed to get out, needed distance, and a far off voice told her there was more to see.

But an amalgam of bellowing thoughts echoed in her head like an alarm clock that couldn’t be turned off. 

Giorgio didn’t just use his abilities to murder people in public for show, but he did it behind the scenes too. Some type of psychopathic sadist, a torturer who practiced in private, found joy in the dissection and agony of another. He played the part of a harmless yet annoying jester so well, never could she have imagined this. The skeletons in his closet. 

The wine called to her as she stumbled, head spinning back into the main room. Dizzied, she sauntered over, using the couch to steady herself. Breaths in, then out. Then again. She could still smell the death; still see the girl’s body laid out. The sight engrained in Sabine so wickedly, she knew it’d be what would keep her up at night now.

She wouldn’t let herself give into the temptation of the red liquid, not as she could smell the bitterness from the open bottles. 

“Go away!” She screeched, whirling on her heels to face the puppet. Frustrated, she began to toss what she could at it. Pillows from the couch, to the wine bottles. They did nothing as they shattered on the ground or flew right through it. How? Sabine knew it was a physical entity, from when it had killed that bishop and all its victims. Throwing another bottle that just nicked its hand it went through to the wall. Wine splattered. An angry wail left her, “Why are you doing this? Just kill me!”

No reaction nor response, just staring right through her. 

She huffed feeling trapped; this was going to be a long day, night, week, however long she’d be stuck here. Sabine twirled, gazing at all her options as there was only one thing to do- explore this place under a watchful and dark gaze, while waiting until either Mihawk came or Giorgio did first.

-

posted: august 23 2024

-

THREE YEARS AGO

He looked at her like nobody, especially no man, had ever before. His eyes swirled with a darkness she could only pinpoint as desire, and it drew her right in. Though any attention would have done so, the only men she knew was her father and the regulars who needed to confess sins each holy day. 

She didn’t know better. If only she had the tools to understand each touch or word spoken of false sincerity, she’d have kept more dignity than she’d have cared to share. 

Deacon Percy, who was vying to be a priest, would be staying at the Monastery a few months, along with an unnamed Cardinal, and small entourage for business too classified for lowly nuns. Sabine and the rest of her Sisters knew for men to be allowed to stay upon their grounds outside of prayer and confession- it was for good reason. Never would such temptation freely walk the halls.

So when Percy looked at her like she was the vast sky and all its glittering stars, like he’d drop everything to be with her- Sabine knew it was fate. It had to be! The silly ritual she performed years ago was legit! 

Nights sneaking about under the different cycles of moons. 

Meetings behind stairwells and in the emptied kitchens. Him taking her along the grounds, past the cemetery, chasing her about as she giggled in glee safe from prying ears. 

He talked as if he knew, saw, and understood the entire world. A glimmer in his eyes as he told her stories of great religious feats he’d seen, of masterful care towards the needy he sought out to bring to the world. Her innocence was to his advantage, open ears he could manipulate with ease as she had not taken permanent vows. 

He thought Sabine to be the most beautiful woman ever, his own version of Virgin Thais in a sense. The lost girl at sea to the mercy of the Father.

Percy would wonder how to make her his loyal follower, how if he could transfix her permanently, perhaps she could bring others along with her. His own little coven of nuns. The great Father must have had this in mind the whole time!

He took Sabine’s first kiss. 

But it took a turn when he tried to take her virginity, one night under the full moon, where the white moonflower bloomed. Where the dense waft of seawater met the rocky shores of the Monastery, under a large willow tree past the gates down a gravel path. 

“I- No. Kissing is one thing.” Sabine glowered at him after she’d shoved him back. She readjusted her habit that he’d tried to shed from her skin. 

Red blared in her mind, in her vision. The last couple meetings her stomach had been churning with all the wrong feelings, this only reaffirmed her gut instincts. Anger and sadness swirled in her, her blood feeling thick as it coursed painfully inside her veins. Bubbling resentment threatened to boil out from her at him. 

“You should feel ashamed.” She crossed her arms as she stared down at Percy, having gained feet between where he still sat. 

“Sabine, we’ll be as one, it will be okay. I love you, you know that.”

The words were on the tip of her tongue. She was a fool! He’d used her! Nights of losing sleep, of doubt gnawing at her, of tears in the washroom, a loss of appetite. And oh how her Sisters knew something was wrong, trying to carefully help her escape his orbit. But a man who loved her would not make her choose or feel pressure, make a laughing stock of her as she stood there with tears cascading down her cheeks. 

“Do not talk to me again.” And she was off, racing back up the path, past the gates and inside the Monastery. Breathing heavy through her sobs as she collapsed in her bed, shaking and cold, doing her best to not wake her roommate. 

It was a dance afterwards, to avoid him.

At night she’d lay awake regretting everything, remembering how his fingers would go too low for comfort. How he’d tease and beg, try to see how far she’d let him go. But swept up in the grand gestures and beautiful words, and the ritual. And eventually she spilled to the matriarch, spilled it all as she cried begging for forgiveness. Told how he played her like a fiddle until it all clicked when he attempted to force off her clothes. He knew exactly what he was doing. Knew exactly who to choose- the girl who didn’t truly believe, just needed the sisterhood to survive. Which Sabine hadn’t realized it at the time. 

So close to taking her permanent vows yet she couldn’t do it. At the altar, only steps away she turned and fled. Three days later Deacon Percy was gone, his room cleared out and rumors swept the foreboding, empty stone halls that he had become one with the sea. All Sabine was left with was to piece herself back together. And those pieces as they fit back into the puzzle of herself- they did not conform to who she’d been. Percy’s words about how he viewed their religion as easy to mold, as everyone being fools to think it real- they stuck with her. She didn’t want to be a pawn. But she didn’t want to use others. Sabine wanted to live by her own code!

-

PRESENT

One with the sea- Mihawk can only assume the Deacon was dead, bones at the bottom of the ocean muddled within the sand, or swept to some distant shores. It would be a fitting end in a world that was ruled by the ocean. 

And if he wasn’t dead well… Mihawk considered hunting him down to the very ends of this earth to make sure he was.

The wetness that lined her lashes, the solemn look as she told the story. His heart ached as she talked of her foolishness, that she shouldn’t have been so blind. It wasn’t her fault, he wanted to tell her. 

“I will say the three years since?” Sabine sighed (the only part of the story she left out to Mihawk was that of the ritual), “I think I’ve had the most growth, more understanding of the world and myself than at any point up to then. I hope you don’t see me as naive, it’s embarrassing to tell.”

“I don’t see you as such.” He responded. Words of comfort stayed on his tongue, not his specialty. 

At one point Sabine had gotten up from the bed to pace as she told her story. Finally she stopped flitting and sat beside Mihawk once again. A nervous wreck, butterflies swarming her stomach as her cheeks grew pink. Suddenly hyper aware of how close to her he was. In her personal bubble, she could smell his cologne and feel the warmth that radiated off him. 

She scooched closer, their legs just touching. Her hand grabbed one of his, a sudden move that made his eyes widen ever so slightly. How she gripped two of his thick fingers, clearly the wheels in her head turned as she thought. Face heating up more. He watched her with a curious look, letting her take the lead. 

Sabine deserved to be in the main seat of her life, the navigator of her own ship. She did not deserve manipulation using her religion and her vulnerable position without family and money to fall back onto. She was intelligent while still believing wholeheartedly in good, a trait lost upon many. Lost upon himself, as if he’d never once believed in good or been good.

Her actions are awkward. But he let her go forth with them under a careful guise as he watched, feeling burned alive by her touch. Mihawk’s heart hammered in his chest as her touch shot electricity down his nerves. 

But he would not let her continue. Not like this, not yet at least. Not even as she touched along his jaw tracing his facial hair. And not as her lips parted. 

“Don’t, my dear.” He whispered softly, no intentions to hurt her.

But the hurt flashed across her features.

“Not yet. Let me explain,” Mihawk tucked a free piece of her hair behind her ear, “I won’t use you like he did, not when you’re vulnerable after telling me that important part of your past. You need a clear head, need to have me in the background when you make your choices. Don’t feel obliged just because I listened to you, have helped you.” 

“You want to wait, to see what I decide?”

“Yes. I still do.”

“Thank you… Though, throwing myself out the window seems like a good plan right now.” She sighed, a semi mortified smile plastered on her lips as she fell back onto the bed. Shaking her head as she stared up at the plastered ceiling, not feeling bad but good? 

He couldn’t help but laugh, “Don’t be too embarrassed, I don’t want you regretting anything still.” 

“Oh I’m embarrassed. But, suppose it’s good we can already laugh about it.” 

“I suppose so. I respect you’re still a nun, that you’re on a sabbatical right now. I won’t cross your boundaries whether you know they’re there or not. And I won’t feed the fire that is in your religious confusion.”

As if he could steal her heart anymore than he already had! A true gentleman, even if he was a pirate by nature. You couldn’t convince her otherwise. She felt warm and fuzzy inside, like her heart was going to burst. An ache to reach out to touch him again, feel the connection of their skin as their nerves would alight in voltaic sparks. 

“I’m thankful I met you. Who would have thought?” She grinned. 

His words helped her in more ways than one. Because she hadn’t thought of her situation as religious confusion. She let herself believe in a demon rather than critically thinking about it, to let herself sink in it so she’d drown rather than admit her struggling feelings. Her doubt. But Sabine also knew more than ever she wanted Mihawk. 

-

posted: august 19 2024

-

Inky black tentacles swarmed her limp body. A heavy fog wafted through her nostrils, past her lips and through her ears swirling her mind into a dark haze. It felt like something large laid itself on her, she wanted to scream, to thrash, to do anything other than lay there. She tried to scream. Nothing came. Fingers unmovable at her side. Bells tolled in the background. Once. Twice. Three times. An ache resurfaced. An incomprehensible densely packed knot twisted within her chest, pushing on her lungs as a choked intake of air turned perilous– 

Sabine shook her head, pushing back the unwanted intrusion in her head. She forced herself to smile, not wanting to tell Mihawk of her nightmare from last night that still haunted her six hours later. He’d probably notice any odd changes in her behavior, he seemed so pleased when she reported sleeping through the night. Though if she woke, he’d have too- nobody was ever safe from her night terrors it seemed. It would only be a matter of time before he saw that vulnerable side of her…

Sitting across from him as they ate a late lunch, Sabine began to think about how he’d once been nothing but a stranger at a bar. Then the man who’d dueled Zoro, only to say to her upon parting she’d be his. And now Sabine didn’t even consider him a stranger, which probably made no sense considering- The man was a vicious killer, a warlord, yet he treated her with the utmost respect and care. 

And there was something about it all.

Sabine couldn’t quite place her finger on it, but she trusted him. Deep in her gut, in her heart, and in her mind. He drew her in, like an overpowered rip current that refused to let her swim back ashore. As if fate itself intervened for them to meet. The butterfly effect of it all had managed to change her life- one day a girl separated from home, then a nun exorcizing a supposed demon that would cause her nightmares, which led to a sabbatical, leading Luffy, which led to Mihawk. It was absurd.

“So,” She hummed, “What do you think?”

They’d paid the marine base a visit after breakfast, sat and combed through reports from last year and then the last month. All while an onslaught of marines came to see if the rumors were true, that the strongest swordsman was actually in their base. The two were an unusual pair to look at, an infamous pirate and a nun. 

Upon reading said reports and piecing them together with information from Sabine, Mihawk understood what was going on. Blaringly so. He didn’t need to see the church’s archive reports or to read the books Sabine talked of. A devil fruit user was at large on the island experimenting on the population, the pattern was evident and he’d be damned to admit an actual demon was doing this. But Sabine wasn’t catching on as quickly as he had. 

“I believe you have a devil fruit user on your hands. No exorcism would have helped.” Mihawk wanted to be gentle in this unusual process, it was becoming more clear how much real world experiences the young woman lacked. Her education was what the church had deemed acceptable, to her everyone deep down had good intentions or else the ideas of salvation would be shattered. But he sees it; the wavering of those feelings, her disdain at times, and Mihawk wonders how much Sabine had faked over the years in order to be a good nun.

She nodded, trying to push down the guilt that would resurface. Instead she focused on his handsome features, his beard and thick brows, sharp and masculine that made a rush of tepid liquid roll through her. 

“But how? I understand it but- I know what I saw, can a devil fruit cause such a thing?”

“Probably. The woman you saw back then touched you, correct?”

“Yes, it felt like touching any other person, not an apparition while it could move like one.” Sabine shivered. A sudden chill down her spine as she remembered the brutal feeling of that wretched monster’s claw-like grip on her wrist. How it’d held her so tight there was a mark afterwards for weeks. Only Sister Sienna’s homemade salve helped it heal.

“Hm, I see.”

“What?” She inquired, anxiety riddling her as he blocked her from seeing any changes of his facial features, “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I think this is beyond the scope of your abilities.”

“Huh?”

Mihawk pushed his food around his plate with his fork before setting it down, “I don’t know why your church foolishly sent two people to investigate demonic activity before going to the marines. I don’t want you to get hurt, so let me handle this from here.”

“But… Why? This seems beneath you, it has nothing to do with the sea.”

“If I handle this, would you trust that the danger here is gone for good?”

“Yes.”

“If it ends your nightmares that’s good enough of a reason for me to handle it.”

“Please let me help still. I promise I’ll listen to whatever you say! I know this city well, I’ve met the families of those impacted last year they could help. We only figured the connections of everyone to be religious, perhaps they came into contact with the devil fruit user-demon-person another way. Same knitting group maybe?”

Mihawk couldn’t stifle an amused smile or the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, “Maybe.” He let out a defeated sigh and she knew she’d won, “I guess we’ll be playing detective. This is not my forte.”

“Well I appreciate it more than you know. I can go and deal with all the people, everyone’s scared the moment they look at you.” She giggled, calmness taking over the fear she’d had. Her heart swelled. If it weren’t for the table between them she would have thrown her arms around him to thank him through an unbreakable hug. The fact he was doing this for her, was mind boggling, absolutely solidified the growing fondness for him she had.

“I will stay by your side regardless.”

“Are you sure?” Another skip in her heartbeat from his words. 

“Yes, I will not let you gallivant around this city blind, you’d foolishly get yourself killed.”

“I see that now and I agree. Sure scary ghosts I can handle, but a person? No. Don’t rely on me in a fight.”

“Would never dream of it my dear.” Any smile she got out of him she’d treasure. Her fingers tingle with nerves as they want to reach out and grab his own.

They continued eating in a comfortable silence. Sabine kept her gaze low as her face burned, her stomach painfully fluttering due to those gold eyes that made her feel intrusive emotions. How her body had yet to cool down from how close in his orbit she’d been. They’d slept in the same room for god's sake! She recounted each of his words, how protective they’d been, him wanting her out of harm's way. How this was probably child’s play yet he entertained it for her, took it as seriously as she was.

“I would like to go visit Cardinal Joseph if you don’t mind, to fill him in.”

Mihawk nodded, “Finish up and we’ll go.” 

The pair walked side by side through the weaving streets, looking like the most unusual of pairs. A large man with an even larger sword. And a nun. 

But none of that mattered. Sabine felt secure walking inches from him, their arms occasionally brushing, her body a pleasant warm with humming emotion. The air smelled faint of the salty ocean water that wafted up from the port. Slowly a faint scent of tangy iron and the raunchy human smell of the crowd that had gathered. It made her heart skip a beat as she choked in a breath. Faint murmurs in a rounded opening below the few storied buildings that looked right out of a story book. 

Mihawk felt like an anchor for her as her chest tightened suddenly, the familiarity of certain buildings that brought back a litany of memories once she saw through the crowd. Her steps slowed. From beyond the masses of people, a cascade of string lights that led to a door that reverberated through her entirety. The red paint. The floral arrangements that grew along the cracking bricks. And a man so vibrantly out in front with gaudy clothes and a jeweled scepter- him. 

She knew his name instantly. DiPont Giorgio. The wrench in their plans last year. How loudly he spewed his feelings of the church and how they couldn’t get a handle on the demonic deaths. Whatever popular story was the news for the day or weeks, he latched onto it and milked it. He made grand spectacles of issues just to turn them on those most impacted, all while wearing that giddy smile. Other’s pain brought him pleasure. 

Mihawk noticed the change in her body language; how she tensed up, a fist clenched, legs locked in place, and her eyes fixed so that they stared past the crowd. He inspected every face and body his golden eyes could see, upon seeing the man dressed as a jester, he assumed that was the point of her sudden behavior. 

He pulled her to the side. 

The two alone in a side alley, him pressing her to a building’s side. He brushed a hand along her hair, feeling her clammy skin as sweat beaded along her hairline. She shivered as his fingers prodded into the sensitive skin going down her neck then pulling at the constricting neckline of her clothes. 

“Breathe, dear.”

Sabine shook her head furiously. 

“Breathe. In then out.” The sound of his voice lulled into her brain, scraping and whirling until it could pull her out her trance. Her pupils returned to a normal size, lashes fluttering as she looked at Mihawk like she was seeing him for the first time, “There we are.”

“Mi..hawk.” She whimpered. A cascade of frigid sentiments made her extremities numb. 

“Tell me what’s upset you. Is it the man that drew the crowd?”

Nodding, her lips parted, then closed only to open again. She sucked in a shaky breath, “Yes.”

If looks could kill- the way his fingers flexed and shoulders straightened, Mihawk immediately honed in on the man as his aura began to bubble. To boil over into the world of anger, into a fiery red over the fact a single person could cause Sabine such discontent. A surge of impulsiveness, a feeling he rarely felt or indulged in or bothered with, consumed him. Anything that disturbed him on the sea or in the way was worthy of him unsheathing a blade, but in this situation he couldn’t understand why he wanted to cut down that jester of a man. How a hand subconsciously went to unsheath Yoru, Mihawk stopped himself. 

Sabine’s fingers had curled into his coat as she stared up at him with watering eyes. It took all his strength not to pick her up and whisk her away until those tears were no more. Yet years of intense training and discipline went wayward in the moment as his pulse hiked and skin tingled warm. Instead he brought a hand up to her face, stroking a thumb along her cheekbone as she’d calmed down due to his lapsed moment of judgment. He felt guilty.

“Who is he?”

“Giorgio. He’s a wretched man.” Sabine sighed, “Takes joy in toying with others. Will latch on to someone suffering just to make some berry.”

“Ah, I’m guessing he was an unwanted presence last year?”

“Yes.”

Mihawk could feel the negativity that whipped around this man, Giorgio. Through his toothy grins and erratic hands waving about, there was something unnatural in how he spewed nonsense that riled up the crowd. 

“What’s he saying?” She asked meekly, tugging on his coat to regain his attention. 

“I’m not sure, would you like to move closer? I can go on my own-”

“No! Don’t leave me.”

Fear. Mihawk could smell it reek off her, the patheticness along her features tugging at his heart strings. He wanted to, selfishly, believe her words were meant for him alone and not for the reason she didn’t want to be left aside. He wondered if she’d cling to anyone like this in her vulnerable state as her tinier body began to shake.

“I never could explain it, he gave me the creeps. Which I know isn’t a punishable offense. Cardinal Joseph simply found him annoying whereas, I have a gut feeling he’s just… scum. Again nothing to be done, he always knew when to stay away and not engage in our work.” 

Mihawk watched as her fright turned into something else as she rambled about the man, he assumed it was annoyance glimmering in her eyes. She huffed, smoothing down her skirt with her hands as a way to regain composure. A little shake of her shoulders and arms, another huff, and she was walking past him. 

“Sabine.” He clasped a hand on her shoulder and tugged her back. A gasp left her lips as another one of his hands clamped on her waist, “Do not leave my side, just like I promised not to leave yours.”

A protectiveness surged through him. He wouldn’t let her get past him, he’d keep her by his side whether or not by force. This place brought her pain and he was growing sick of sudden reminders everything seemed to give her. On top of the fact, this was all a mess, he’d rather be on the sea fighting an entire armada than this slow give and take work that should be up to a paper pusher.

His lips hovering just along an ear made her heart thump painfully in her chest. Her bold confidence simmered like a snap of a twig, “Sorry, I don’t know what got into me… I don’t want him to see me, even though I have choice words for him. He used to seek us out, taunt us, he’d touch my hair or tug at my habit. A disrespectful man with no boundaries or shame.”

“Then let’s go, especially before I do something regrettable.” Mihawk said under his breath, a dangerous tone seeping from his words. His grip on her tightened.

“Yes, let's.” A chill ran down Sabine’s spine at the thought of the things Mihawk could do to Giorgio. Not that she wished death upon anyone, but that man had karma coming to him one of these days, perhaps it would be fitting for it to come from a man aligned with her. 

They went along the outskirts of all the noise, heading down the road that would lead to the church where they’d find Cardinal Joseph. And then make a plan to pinpoint how to find the devil fruit user. Simple- Sabine highly doubted that would be the case. She squeezed Mihawk’s bicep that she clung to. 

But Sabine couldn’t help herself as she went to strain her neck turning around. From that glance alone, her eyes connected with his. Giorgio, still mid preaching, gave her a twisted smile. An intoxicating, ambergris musk invaded her nostrils and her surroundings went null as Mihawk kept them moving forward, her footsteps more an inebriated march as they clunked against the cobbled streets.

The remaining day was that of following the motions. 

Then it turned into a week, then another. 

A grueling death had shut the Island down, trying to leave would have been futile. Sabine and Cardinal Joseph had investigated the perimeter of the murder, checked the victims belongings for anything that matched- and it did. 

Over a year ago, the demon had left burnt and flipped crossed over the victims, whose eyes were black as night and limbs gaping, mushy, cold. 

And there, a body with a similar modus operandi laid at her feet. 

Sabine had fallen to her knees due to the note beside the cross, the sound of her hitting the floor spurred Mihawk into the room to aid her. She still couldn’t fathom why he stayed at her side, didn’t mock her for her inability in this area of work, in her lack of understanding about the world they lived in. How dutifully he explained things to her over the last few weeks and answered all her questions. She selfishly loved how he hovered, how they grew closer while the island was going up in flames. 

‘Come get me!’

The written words taunted her. She wanted to rip the note up, throw it into a fireplace and watch it burn along with her bubbling feelings of failure.

Oh how wrong had the church been. Even if this wasn’t someone who’d eaten a devil fruit, the powers and natures of this world were immense. So much was still unknown. But demons couldn’t write! More proof this was a human or creature doing this! That ridiculous exorcism and belief in faith had been futile, foolish, stupid, hasty, and it made her want to scream. To cry. To bleed. To slam her head into a wall or throw herself out the window much like a victim had last year too. Sabine thought of that nun, her body splattered on the ground and how the decay of her flesh melded into the dying grass. For the first time she believed her faith was a facade she’d forced on herself.

Sabine thought that her life had been a waste, that if she’d been more competent, able to think for herself- this person wouldn’t have died. 

-

posted: july 24 2024