#heysli

You're like a beggar begging in return

Just like rose full of torn

Hoping somebody will pick you up

Wishing someone tell u not to give up

Everyone dislike me

Just how my mind agree

I maybe silent

But my mind full of bewilderement

Darkness is my comfort zone

Empty room is my companion

I'm leaving in an astray path

Looking someone behind my back

And there I saw knight

Telling me its alright

He save me from my blues

Inside out is a movie that tells us about controlling our emotion. Emotions inside our brain portray how should we interact with others. Joy, sadness, anger, fear, disgust is the core of human emotions.

Joy, means happiness, an expression that give us delight, a feeling that gives us great comfort to pleasure our greediness to a thing or a person. Sadness, is the opposite of joy. A melancholic feeling that we feel when we are in grief, and it also points out the negativity in life. Anger, it is a feeling that annoyed or upset us. Fear, characterized by being frightened by something, and think about 'what-if' in life. Disgust, is showing a distrust on someone and avoidant. Having this kind of characteristics make us who we are today.

For some reason we thought sadness is useless in this world and happiness is all we need to evoke our emotion. In terms of problems sadness is the one we should lean on, it expresses our feelings to burst and gave us comfort.

We always think that the word 'sadness' is hopelesness, and no value in human emotion. Not all times we are happy, we can't learn a new lesson in life if we didn't feel any sorrow.

The most significant scene in the movie where joy realized that not all times is all about blissfulness. Every emotion is vital, we dont need joy at all times, sometimes its okay to express your feelings in different emotion.

I was 9 years old when i moved to my lola's house. Every morning before I go to school she prepare's my breakfast , my school uniform and everything.

I was 10 when I entered the Rondalla club, everytime I'm having a hard time memorizing and getting the right tune of my instrument she was there cheering me up and reminding me how good i am.

I was 11 when I started joining a pageant. She was my make-up artist, hairstylist, a fashion designer and a manager too. Everytime I'm walking on the stage, she was there encouraging me to continue my straipsed. Everytime I'm answering a question from a judge, she was there to lift me up when i cant utter word.

I was 12 when a disaster came.

She was rush to the hospital.

4th of july when Im about to go to school when a cohorts of her approach me telling she already dead. I just walk away and I didn't care what she's saying.

It was 5:00 pm when the class ended.I was happily walking down the street when I saw a bunch of people entering our house. I ran as fast as I could because I know I was late in the welcoming party of my lola. I was happy when I saw a picture of her outside of our gate.

'Auntie, where's mommy?' (I always call her mommy)

'She's resting' she replied and fainted a fake smile.

I entered our house.

And finally..

I saw her

Resting and sleeping silently inside a coffin.

Tears fell down from my eyes, it feels like my heart stabbed a thousand times. The sting it caused me was so unbearable.

I was in a constant pain hiding in a mask of being okay. I dont want anyone worry about me.

After a month, our examination came. I only got 12 out of 50. I was on a top but now I failed.

In a very young age, I planned comitting suicide. I was eager to end the pain in my heart, hoping it was the best solution.

I was walking in an astray path leaving the light behind me. While I'm in the midst of my agony, a weird man approach me.

'Comitting sucide is a sin from above, it cannot heal your aching heart. Sadness will just kill your sanity. Talk to God and it will mend your sorrowful heart.' He says while fading away.

Then it awaken me. The dream was very vivid. It such a beautiful thing happened to me, I know God use him to comfort me.