#heylavender

Perfectionism.

It can be really hard to accept that you just can’t do everything perfectly and you can’t be a perfect human being, but if you give yourself time to get used to it, it honestly feels so damn good. It’s just, like, not that fun to be obsessed with being flawless and not being happy with things unless they’re mind-blowingly good.

This is super familiar territory for me - I was a big fish in a small pond, excelling at all my extracurriculars, getting A+ grades and not even trying that hard, etc etc etc. I spent hours every morning getting ready and constantly compared myself to other people and NEEDED to be better. When I went to college, I worked hard and did my best and got back C’s. God I was SO ashamed, so stressed and embarrassed about “messing up”, and I was leaning even more heavily on ED behaviors. Shame over things that honestly do not matter that much, letting that shame tell you that you can never be good enough, that you’re bad at this so you’re a bad person - these lead to anxiety and depression and guess what! we don’t need that. You’ve got to let go of that shame. Shame is a little shithead and it doesn’t know what it’s talking about, okay?

I know quite a few other people who have struggled with an ED and this is a really common characteristic. And not only being perfectionists about our bodies or what we eat, but about school and clothing and even coloring books for god’s sake. It also seems like a prevalent characteristic in the studyblr community - perfectionism about grades and notes and handwriting and being a perfect, model student. In all cases, it can lead to feeling like you’re not a good person unless you are a certain way. The idea that “My life will finally be perfect and I’ll be happy when x happens”. Not letting yourself be happy until you feel like you’ve reached a certain standard. “I screwed up yesterday but today will be perfect.”

These ideas are trash, dudes. Absolutely no one is perfect. We’re all works in progress. Healthy behavior is realizing that most things are just not worth the time or effort or tears and don’t have to reach stratospheric levels of excellence. Good enough is good enough!! Progress, not perfection. 

I also think that people who are perfectionists are often afraid of judgement, too. We’ve got a need to please others and are very sensitive to any feedback that isn’t positive. Like, even when someone gives me constructive criticism that’s meant with the kindest of intentions, I usually end up crying. I hate that anything I’ve done has made someone think, “Well, this could have been done better,” and I feel like that means /I’m/ not good enough. So it’s hard to give up these behaviors. We want praise for things that are often because of tendencies sprouted from perfectionism, but the ultimate goal should not be the attention and approval of others. It should always (always !!!) be personal satisfaction and happiness. I know it’s really hard to internalize and just, like, not care about what other people think, but if it’s causing you a lot of distress then it’s gotta be dealt with. You’ll be so much happier without it, I fucking promise.

Perfectionism is a tough bitch. It’s probably never going to go away completely, but it can definitely be managed so it isn’t controlling you. Good enough is good enough.

You are good enough.

Hello! My name is Laura and I am new as a Studyblr user here. To introduce,I wanted to share some facts about me. It would be nice if you followed me. From now on I will post my bullet journal stuff,doodles,drawings,notes etc. 

 I hope you’ll like it:)

ALSO,check out my Instagram which has much more content than my tumblr.