[𝐁 *lair 𝒲ᵃldorf, a study.

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[𝐁 *lair 𝒲ᵃldorf, a study.

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@surviveds, she’s fidgeting with her s-pole ( once, his ) as they sit together in silence. it doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as it used to; a few months ago, back at the university, she would have gotten out of here as quickly as possible, leaving no chance to have some kind of personal conversation with him at all. and it wasn’t because she didn’t care for him --- she always did, but once their father had left, it was much easier to lock her emotions up and lead only with anger --- about everyone, about anything, usually targeted at felix even if, deep down, she knew he didn’t deserve it. she doesn’t want that anymore; after all of this, after somehow managing to get out alive with all of her family, it feels more important than ever to appreciate each other while they’re together.
that’s why, for the first time since she was younger, when felix was helping her find her voice again, she feels like she’s truly ready to talk to him about the things that scare her, make her anxious.
❝ --- do you think she made it? ❞ she asks quietly, her eyes locked on the floor rather than looking over to her brother. it’s a question that constantly seems to eat away at her, wondering if the person who had once been her mentor and a friend got out of all of this alive, with everything stacked against her. she’s worried about silas and dennis, too --- but there’s a reason she’s talking about huck specifically, here. she needs to process all she feels over this loss ( whether or not she’s still alive ) --- and felix is the only person she feels she can do that with. it’s not just about her, though --- it’s about him, too. she knows he’s hurting, she knows that he’s had to rely on her through this despite that, too. ❝ i mean, do you . . . think we’ll ever know? ❞ she asks, this time a bit more direct and to the point: that she’s worried, that she feels like she doesn’t have closure, and that she doesn’t know what to do with all those feelings.
jjohnboyega > zoeyjohnsons.